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(Billings Gazette)   Gallant brings a microphone and water bottle to his comedy show. Goofus brings six knives and poor attitude   (billingsgazette.com) divider line 44
    More: Dumbass, knife, visual routine, weapons complaint  
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3632 clicks; posted to Main » on 11 Mar 2014 at 1:55 PM (19 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



44 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2014-03-11 12:11:33 PM
and then, armed with six knives, rushed at the bar's owner.

www.garylucas.com
 
2014-03-11 12:33:34 PM
He's got a hip knife, a side knife, a boot knife, a shoulder knife, and a little bitty one that's a combination of flare gun, dinner set, and genuine police whistle.
 
2014-03-11 12:51:02 PM
They should have let him gone on and do his six knife steak set.

He's like the Gallagher of beef.  Screamingly hilarious, yet always tender and rarely over-salted.
 
2014-03-11 02:02:53 PM
Oh, a swiss army comic.
 
2014-03-11 02:03:10 PM
24.media.tumblr.com
I gotta admit, guys.  This is pretty great dere.
 
2014-03-11 02:09:56 PM
True fact: Billings was the first place I ever saw a hooker on a street corner.

/no, it wasn't my mom
//GF'isan
 
2014-03-11 02:10:27 PM
He was a cutup.
 
2014-03-11 02:10:38 PM
He said that Shike, who uses a wheelchair, said something about stabbing him and then rushed at him, court records state.

Presumably he was going downhill.

/aisle seat, please
 
2014-03-11 02:12:51 PM
I ain't answering no survey to read that shiat.
 
2014-03-11 02:20:23 PM
I once brought gunpowder, ten inches of 2' steel pipe, two pipe caps, a fuse and a match with me onstage. Needless to say, I bombed.
 
2014-03-11 02:23:41 PM
And yet he still managed to be funnier than a Dane Cook standup set.
 
2014-03-11 02:23:50 PM
www.technovelgy.com
 
2014-03-11 02:25:47 PM

Salmon: I ain't answering no surveyclicking one or 2 answers randomly to read that shiat.


FTFY, you lazy bastard.

/never fails on those "surveys" that some people will expend more effort to biatch and moan about them in the thread then it would have taken to just click one of the answers.
 
2014-03-11 02:30:07 PM
Cutting edge comedy, folks.
 
2014-03-11 02:30:53 PM
I prefer Captain America and Deadpool to Goofus and Gallant

i10.photobucket.com
 
2014-03-11 02:33:59 PM
How strange. Usually comedians are such centered people with no issues whatsoever...
 
2014-03-11 02:38:46 PM
That's certainly one way to kill your set.
 
2014-03-11 02:39:51 PM
For some reason, subby, that headline made me spit tea across the room.
 
2014-03-11 02:40:47 PM
i.imgur.com

The comedian in question?
 
2014-03-11 02:41:19 PM
images.tvrage.com

\Was it the John the Baptist Steak Knife set?
 
2014-03-11 02:41:59 PM
For a moment I thought it was Doug Stanhope
 
2014-03-11 02:42:05 PM
Drunk Guy Who Won't Get Off Stage is also a huge problem for local bands...
 
2014-03-11 02:45:03 PM
If Michael Richards had dealt with his heckler like this, he'd probably still have a career.
 
2014-03-11 02:55:41 PM

GanjSmokr: Salmon: I ain't answering no surveyclicking one or 2 answers randomly to read that shiat.

FTFY, you lazy bastard.

/never fails on those "surveys" that some people will expend more effort to biatch and moan about them in the thread then it would have taken to just click one of the answers.


Please describe 'Motorola' in one word:

Much Droid. So stability. Wow.

/That wasn't one word.
/Access granted
 
2014-03-11 03:03:19 PM

Wrath of Heaven: GanjSmokr: Salmon: I ain't answering no surveyclicking one or 2 answers randomly to read that shiat.

FTFY, you lazy bastard.

/never fails on those "surveys" that some people will expend more effort to biatch and moan about them in the thread then it would have taken to just click one of the answers.

Please describe 'Motorola' in one word:

Much Droid. So stability. Wow.

/That wasn't one word.
/Access granted


Survey? What survey?

/smart phones!
//posted from my pos tmobile
 
2014-03-11 03:04:56 PM

sulco: True fact: Billings was the first place I ever saw a hooker on a street corner.

/no, it wasn't my mom
//GF'isan


So...... It was your dad?
 
2014-03-11 03:05:02 PM
www.popfocal.com

"It slices, it dices, it's.......... THE SLASH-O-MATIC!"
 
2014-03-11 03:15:16 PM

zjoik: sulco: True fact: Billings was the first place I ever saw a hooker on a street corner.

/no, it wasn't my mom
//GF'isan

So...... It was your dad?


biobreak.files.wordpress.com

*subtle bow*
 
2014-03-11 03:20:32 PM
Tin Tin?
 
2014-03-11 03:46:55 PM
www.microwaves101.com
www.thirdwave-websites.com
th09.deviantart.net
 
2014-03-11 03:48:10 PM
They really should have consolidated everything the court documents stated that they wanted to report into one paragraph. Would have saved the author having to repeat "court documents say" so many times.

Sorry, just got off work and haven't finished my first beer.

/Aside from the one this morning
 
2014-03-11 03:51:22 PM

Evil Mackerel: Tin Tin?


Duffy?
 
2014-03-11 03:54:41 PM

GanjSmokr: Salmon: I ain't answering no surveyclicking one or 2 answers randomly to read that shiat.

FTFY, you lazy bastard.

/never fails on those "surveys" that some people will expend more effort to biatch and moan about them in the thread then it would have taken to just click one of the answers.


The only thing more entertaining is the people that whine and moan at those who complain about dumb-ass f*cking "surveys".

\bytching and moaning may not solve the problem
\\but shrugging and patiently standing in line when ordered to won't either
 
2014-03-11 04:01:20 PM

CheapEngineer: GanjSmokr: Salmon: I ain't answering no surveyclicking one or 2 answers randomly to read that shiat.

FTFY, you lazy bastard.

/never fails on those "surveys" that some people will expend more effort to biatch and moan about them in the thread then it would have taken to just click one of the answers.

The only thing more entertaining is the people that whine and moan at those who complain about dumb-ass f*cking "surveys".

\bytching and moaning may not solve the problem
\\but shrugging and patiently standing in line when ordered to won't either


Well, if calling someone a lazy bastard for being a lazy bastard is whining and moaning, then I am guilty.

Additionally, I fail to see a "problem" to be solved... unless you expect every single item on the internet to be given to you with absolutely no strings attached.
 
2014-03-11 04:06:00 PM

mjohnson71: And yet he still managed to be funnier than a Dane Cook standup set.


I would have gone with Daniel Tosh, but I'll allow it.
 
2014-03-11 04:13:38 PM
We throw parties,
You throw knives.

/first thing that came to mind
//obscure?
 
2014-03-11 04:15:28 PM
GanjSmokr: ... unless you expect every single item on the internet to be given to you with absolutely no strings attached.

In his defense, copying the blotter isn't really worth anything.
 
2014-03-11 04:30:33 PM

IRQ12: GanjSmokr: ... unless you expect every single item on the internet to be given to you with absolutely no strings attached.

In his defense, copying the blotter isn't really worth anything.


It's probably worth about as much as a mouse click on a random answer in a survey is worth.
 
2014-03-11 07:36:38 PM

GanjSmokr: Salmon: I ain't answering no surveyclicking one or 2 answers randomly to read that shiat.

FTFY, you lazy bastard.

/never fails on those "surveys" that some people will expend more effort to biatch and moan about them in the thread then it would have taken to just click one of the answers.


Why should we have to? That only encourages the makers of them.
 
2014-03-11 07:43:10 PM

sulco: zjoik: sulco: True fact: Billings was the first place I ever saw a hooker on a street corner.

/no, it wasn't my mom
//GF'isan

So...... It was your dad?

[biobreak.files.wordpress.com image 300x245]

*subtle bow*


img.fark.net
 
2014-03-11 10:13:17 PM

GanjSmokr: Salmon: I ain't answering no surveyclicking one or 2 answers randomly to read that shiat.

FTFY, you lazy bastard.

/never fails on those "surveys" that some people will expend more effort to biatch and moan about them in the thread then it would have taken to just click one of the answers.


What survey?
 
2014-03-11 11:37:24 PM

offmymeds: [www.microwaves101.com image 800x395]
[www.thirdwave-websites.com image 555x247]
[th09.deviantart.net image 850x822]


I've said it before, and I'll say it again: there are few higher art forms than the  Goofus and Gallant parody comic.

/Goofus can't express praise in a way that doesn't sound like sarcasm
//Gallant is painfully serious
 
2014-03-12 04:38:34 PM

GanjSmokr: CheapEngineer: GanjSmokr: Salmon: I ain't answering no surveyclicking one or 2 answers randomly to read that shiat.

FTFY, you lazy bastard.

/never fails on those "surveys" that some people will expend more effort to biatch and moan about them in the thread then it would have taken to just click one of the answers.

The only thing more entertaining is the people that whine and moan at those who complain about dumb-ass f*cking "surveys".

\bytching and moaning may not solve the problem
\\but shrugging and patiently standing in line when ordered to won't either

Well, if calling someone a lazy bastard for being a lazy bastard is whining and moaning, then I am guilty.

Additionally, I fail to see a "problem" to be solved... unless you expect every single item on the internet to be given to you with absolutely no strings attached.


Well, you *could* make sure that every site that does stupid shyt like that *hears from you* that you don't like it, and won't be going there again. Instead of just giving them false information, which they just count as successful clicks, and merrily go on with their half-assed concept unaware of how f*cking annoying the people who find their website find them. I prefer to vote with my feet, and tell annoying websites to f*ck off early and often. It may not change their mind in any way, but *not* telling them *definitely* won't change a f*cking thing.

Whereas you seem to be content to just be a Cock. I can see that's working out well for ya.
 
2014-03-12 06:21:47 PM

CheapEngineer: GanjSmokr: CheapEngineer: GanjSmokr: Salmon: I ain't answering no surveyclicking one or 2 answers randomly to read that shiat.

FTFY, you lazy bastard.

/never fails on those "surveys" that some people will expend more effort to biatch and moan about them in the thread then it would have taken to just click one of the answers.

The only thing more entertaining is the people that whine and moan at those who complain about dumb-ass f*cking "surveys".

\bytching and moaning may not solve the problem
\\but shrugging and patiently standing in line when ordered to won't either

Well, if calling someone a lazy bastard for being a lazy bastard is whining and moaning, then I am guilty.

Additionally, I fail to see a "problem" to be solved... unless you expect every single item on the internet to be given to you with absolutely no strings attached.

Well, you *could* make sure that every site that does stupid shyt like that *hears from you* that you don't like it, and won't be going there again. Instead of just giving them false information, which they just count as successful clicks, and merrily go on with their half-assed concept unaware of how f*cking annoying the people who find their website find them. I prefer to vote with my feet, and tell annoying websites to f*ck off early and often. It may not change their mind in any way, but *not* telling them *definitely* won't change a f*cking thing.

Whereas you seem to be content to just be a Cock. I can see that's working out well for ya.


I'm actually OK with them accepting my clicking of a random answer as "payment" for providing me that content.

Whereas you seem to think the internet owes you content with you providing nothing but your worthless whining on FARK.
 
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