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(Slate)   A look at each state's official meat, assuming it could only have one. Looks like I'm moving Texas, after all   (slate.com ) divider line
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10787 clicks; posted to Main » on 11 Mar 2014 at 10:09 AM (2 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2014-03-11 10:33:05 AM  
This was surprisingly well done.  On that note, why do they call well done steak "well done"?  It's anything but. They should call it "dried out completely, chalky and tasteless - a ruined grey husk"  Anyone ordering it that way should be required to speak that exact description.
 
2014-03-11 10:34:09 AM  
We win!
*drool* ....Bacon!!!
 
2014-03-11 10:34:10 AM  
Porterhouse steak, mutherfarkers.

Suck it.
 
2014-03-11 10:34:11 AM  
Snapper or Grouper for Florida - they may process the gator meat, but I bet most of that is shipped of to Louisiana

Shrimp-n-Grits for South Carolina
 
2014-03-11 10:34:26 AM  
It's a well-known fact that Californians don't eat meat, just tofu and kale

San Fransisco smokes enough sausage for the whole state...
 
2014-03-11 10:34:35 AM  
Taylor Pork Roll sammich...aka "Jersey Breakfast".

www.freewilliamsburg.com
 
2014-03-11 10:35:01 AM  
Also this map is BS! South Dakota should be Chislek, Louisiana should be crawfish, North Dakota should be white tail deer, Montana should be beef period. Christ you cant get anything else here.
 
2014-03-11 10:35:06 AM  
Looks like I'm moving Texas, after all

I suggest the middle of the South Atlantic.
 
2014-03-11 10:36:51 AM  

UberDave: I never thought Nevada's state meat would be the Tube Steak.


If you click on the pic, it's actually tongue.

/which in itself is odd.
 
2014-03-11 10:37:03 AM  

Sapper_Topo: Also this map is BS! South Dakota should be Chislek, Louisiana should be crawfish, North Dakota should be white tail deer, Montana should be beef period. Christ you cant get anything else here.


Listen I am the fan of the blood in the steak of me but the beef period is the newer of foods I have not had the enjoyment of.
 
2014-03-11 10:37:52 AM  
I love ya baby but all I can think about is
Kielbasa sausage, your butt cheeks is warm.
I check my dipstick, you need lubrication honey,
My kielbasa sausage has just got to perform.
Now get it on!

I see you walkin', but all I can think about is
Dianetics, your butt cheeks is warm.
I check my dipstick, you need lubrication honey,
My kielbasa sausage has just got to perform.
Now I've been set loose-ah,
I'm shooting my juice-ah,
Right in your caboose.
Now farkin' get it on!
Now get it on.
Get it on!
 
2014-03-11 10:38:29 AM  
I'm okay with Pennsylvania's official meat being the fixings for cheesesteak, but the author misses the mark for a true cheesesteak by requiring provolone.  That might be fine for all the fancy-schmancy steak shoppes out in places like center city, the mainline and the greater Northeast, but if you go to Pat's, you're getting Cheez Whiz or you're getting nothing.
 
2014-03-11 10:40:06 AM  

loki see loki do: lilplatinum: Alassra: :: sighs :: You do realize there is more to the state than Philly? I'm guessing the writer has never visited another part of PA aside from Philly.

No one cares what the Amish eat.

they make some darned good cheese and bread. And pie.


And Wine...

From your comment above, I am assuming you are from Ohio (or the area).  Head over to Berlin (Ohio) sometime.  Your day will consist of the breakfast bar at Der Dutchman (between Berlin and Sugarcreek) and then drive down the road to Breitenbach winery, then head on over to Heine's Cheese Chalet (do not sample ALL the cheese, your colon will thank you..learned this the hard way).  Across from that is a bread store (forget the name of the place though) to finish off your day.

My vo-ag class went on a field trip to Amish Country Ohio one time.  We had breakfast an an actual amish house with the family and it was the best breakfast I ever had.  I really wish I could remember the place we went (somewhere in Holmes county of course).
 
2014-03-11 10:40:12 AM  
In Texas, more places get brisket wrong then they get it right.  But the places that get it right (Smitty's, Snow's, Kreuz, Franklin's, Pecan Lodge) make up for the rest.  Popular places like Sonny Bryan's, Rudy's, the Salt lIck, or some chains like Spring Creek and DIckey's, are a pale imitations of the truly good places.

Also, always get it off the backside (or moist for people in central Texas).  The flat is less marbled and gets very tough very fast.
 
2014-03-11 10:40:37 AM  

LoneVVolf: It's a well-known fact that Californians don't eat meat, just tofu and kale

San Fransisco smokes enough sausage for the whole state...


Bu dum...tsh!
 
2014-03-11 10:40:48 AM  

ChipNASA: Maryland should be CRAB .yoooooo farkers....


Came here to say this.
 
2014-03-11 10:40:56 AM  

CruJones: As a current Texas resident, you'd move here for brisket?  I'm a fan, but it doesn't touch pork BBQ.

/I'd be moving to Tennessee for bacon, but they already have Memphis style Q


I'm sorry, sir, but I'm going to have to ask you to leave.
 
2014-03-11 10:41:24 AM  
Kinda figured brats for WI.

//sigh....such a cliche.
 
2014-03-11 10:42:18 AM  
KC is the best BBQ. That being said, it shouldn't be Missouri's food. KC strip,pork steaks or Springfield cashew chicken backs more sense.
 
2014-03-11 10:42:32 AM  

Prey4reign: I'm okay with Pennsylvania's official meat being the fixings for cheesesteak, but the author misses the mark for a true cheesesteak by requiring provolone.  That might be fine for all the fancy-schmancy steak shoppes out in places like center city, the mainline and the greater Northeast, but if you go to Pat's, you're getting Cheez Whiz or you're getting nothing.


Only time I have ever stayed in Pennsylvania... I got to go to Pat's. And damn straight they made the best cheesesteak ever!
 
2014-03-11 10:42:43 AM  

Burr: We had breakfast an an actual amish house with the family and it was the best breakfast I ever had.


Did they wait til you were gone to molest and abuse their children?
 
2014-03-11 10:42:46 AM  
FAIL on West Virginia.

Squirrel is no where near as popular as Bambi!
 
2014-03-11 10:42:56 AM  

Rat: Franklin will help you bring Texas brisket into your own backyard.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VmTzdMHu5KU



I miss sams.  Oh well, he had to retire some time.

/Mickelwait meats is better imho.
 
2014-03-11 10:45:03 AM  

lilplatinum: Burr: We had breakfast an an actual amish house with the family and it was the best breakfast I ever had.

Did they wait til you were gone to molest and abuse their children?


During, made the meal much more enjoyable
 
2014-03-11 10:46:48 AM  

Burr: lilplatinum: Burr: We had breakfast an an actual amish house with the family and it was the best breakfast I ever had.

Did they wait til you were gone to molest and abuse their children?

During, made the meal much more enjoyable


Also, now I am interested, do you have a story about that?
 
2014-03-11 10:46:52 AM  

ChrisDe: Tofu is not a meat. Carne asada is meat.


Came to say this... the official meat of California is either fish (tacos, sushi) or carne asada (tacos, everything else that is good in the world)
 
2014-03-11 10:47:48 AM  
I'm aware the article indicated it's own restrictions, but I'm not sure why fish and shellfish weren't included.  They got red and white meat in there.  They say mammals only and then include chicken and gators.  They've got pork rinds (which are explicitly not meat; they're skin and/or fat).  They've got gelatin - which is not meat, and they break the rules on shellfish for maine, but not for other coastal states.

I find this map internally inconsistent, and it brings to mind a minor irritation I have;  The number of people I've come across who claim to be vegetarian and still eat fish, shrimp, lobster, crab.  it's like a KKK member claiming to be an equal rights advocate.
 
2014-03-11 10:48:15 AM  

loki see loki do: And pie.


Shoofly pie.
 
2014-03-11 10:49:37 AM  

Burr: lilplatinum: Burr: We had breakfast an an actual amish house with the family and it was the best breakfast I ever had.

Did they wait til you were gone to molest and abuse their children?

During, made the meal much more enjoyable


Kinda like dinner theater, dig it.
 
2014-03-11 10:52:16 AM  

quietwalker: I'm aware the article indicated it's own restrictions, but I'm not sure why fish and shellfish weren't included.  They got red and white meat in there.  They say mammals only and then include chicken and gators.  They've got pork rinds (which are explicitly not meat; they're skin and/or fat).  They've got gelatin - which is not meat, and they break the rules on shellfish for maine, but not for other coastal states.

I find this map internally inconsistent, and it brings to mind a minor irritation I have;  The number of people I've come across who claim to be vegetarian and still eat fish, shrimp, lobster, crab.  it's like a KKK member claiming to be an equal rights advocate.


Do you do the speaking of the language of the Anglicans?
 
2014-03-11 10:53:35 AM  
Is this one of Obama's '57' States?

Luxembourg
Pork collar
Judd mat Gaardebounen
, the national dish of Luxembourg, is a plate of broad beans topped with sliced smoked pork collar. Pork collar is a cut near the shoulder that's rarely used in the States, so I am more than happy to yield it to Luxembourg. Gudden appetit!
 
2014-03-11 10:55:01 AM  

ferretman: Is this one of Obama's '57' States?

Luxembourg
Pork collar
Judd mat Gaardebounen, the national dish of Luxembourg, is a plate of broad beans topped with sliced smoked pork collar. Pork collar is a cut near the shoulder that's rarely used in the States, so I am more than happy to yield it to Luxembourg. Gudden appetit!


LAUGHTER OL reading is not that which has strongman suits of you.
 
2014-03-11 10:55:17 AM  
My state is better than your state.
 
2014-03-11 10:55:39 AM  

xtalman: emarche: NJ is  NOTCapicola, you farkin tards. NJ is - and will always be -  TAYLOR HAM.

Pork Roll for us from the northern part of the state.  But this is the truth.

/Now I needs some pork roll.
//Living in OK and hate chicken fried steak


I grew up in North Jersey, never once heard it called Pork Roll - it's always been Taylor Ham - even though that's what the Taylor company calls it. Either way, if it isn't Taylor...it doesn't count. There  isa difference.
 
2014-03-11 10:56:57 AM  
Apparently the author has never driven through California on interstate 5.  Or, the tofu at Harris Ranch smells awfully bad
 
2014-03-11 10:57:07 AM  

quietwalker: I'm aware the article indicated it's own restrictions, but I'm not sure why fish and shellfish weren't included.  They got red and white meat in there.  They say mammals only and then include chicken and gators.  They've got pork rinds (which are explicitly not meat; they're skin and/or fat).  They've got gelatin - which is not meat, and they break the rules on shellfish for maine, but not for other coastal states.

I find this map internally inconsistent, and it brings to mind a minor irritation I have;  The number of people I've come across who claim to be vegetarian and still eat fish, shrimp, lobster, crab.  it's like a KKK member claiming to be an equal rights advocate.


Yeah, stick to the rules. For Maine, he could have gone Franco and used creton or meat pie.
 
2014-03-11 10:58:03 AM  

Evil Mackerel: Kentucky needs to be either Burgoo or Fried catfish.


Yeah.  Way to pick something maybe 10% of the population eats, or has ever eaten.

Maybe country hamBBQ?
 
2014-03-11 10:58:52 AM  

kronicfeld: Smithfield Ham is the tits.


Seconded!


/Still representin' the 540
 
2014-03-11 11:00:00 AM  
She had to have a dumbass dig at California. Santa Maria style BBQ is extremely popular in California...Tri Tip would have done nicely for California. Stupid to say California or any other state is principally vegetarian.
 
2014-03-11 11:00:19 AM  
This article changed my life.  I'm waiting with bated breath for the made up list of of state condiments.
 
2014-03-11 11:01:19 AM  

emarche: xtalman: emarche: NJ is  NOTCapicola, you farkin tards. NJ is - and will always be -  TAYLOR HAM.

Pork Roll for us from the northern part of the state.  But this is the truth.

/Now I needs some pork roll.
//Living in OK and hate chicken fried steak

I grew up in North Jersey, never once heard it called Pork Roll - it's always been Taylor Ham - even though that's what the Taylor company calls it. Either way, if it isn't Taylor...it doesn't count. There  isa difference.


GF from North Jersey. It's called Taylor ham at every deli I've ever been to with her...and it's delicious (family from the Tom's River area call it pork roll). Found it in my local supermarket as well so we don't have to go back the NJ to get it if we have a craving. Dammit. Now I want Taylor ham, egg, and cheese...
 
2014-03-11 11:03:01 AM  

Alassra: So glad that Pennsylvania is ruled by one "sandwich" meat.

:: sighs :: You do realize there is more to the state than Philly? I'm guessing the writer has never visited another part of PA aside from Philly.

That's okay... I'll save my angry face and make something actually delicious.

:)


And there's more to Illinois than Chicago, too.  Porterhouse steak?  That makes no sense. The author bases it on the Union Stock Yards, but those are primarily associated with hog butchery.  Nobody goes to Illinois for the steak.  Illinois' meat should really be some kind of sausage, which factors heavily in Chicago's signature foods (pizza and hot dogs) as well as in the dishes of the large Polish and Germanic populations throughout the state.
 
2014-03-11 11:05:53 AM  
OK, I'll go along with carne adovada in New Mexico, but the linked recipe is bullshiat, ancho & pasilla chiles?
If it ain't red chile it ain't New Mexico carne adovada.
 
2014-03-11 11:07:19 AM  

spiderpaz: El_Frijole_Blanco: Does this broad not know California is full of Mexicans who eat carnitas all day

Or that California is largely composed of Texas-like rednecks if you leave SF or LA, and that it produces 6% of the nation's beef.


This.  Once you leave the two big urban areas, California becomes almost a true red-state.  And we love our meat, look up Santa Maria style Tri-tip.

/mmmmm, cow grilled over wood
 
2014-03-11 11:09:46 AM  

Fissile: xtalman: emarche: NJ is  NOTCapicola, you farkin tards. NJ is - and will always be -  TAYLOR HAM.

Pork Roll for us from the northern part of the state.  But this is the truth.

/Now I needs some pork roll.
//Living in OK and hate chicken fried steak

I torment you.

[jerseyporkroll.com image 800x800]


This is just plan evil.
 
2014-03-11 11:10:41 AM  
So "pork roll" is what?  a big ol' hunk o' Spam?
 
2014-03-11 11:10:53 AM  
2.bp.blogspot.com
 
2014-03-11 11:12:47 AM  

23FPB23: Evil Mackerel: Kentucky needs to be either Burgoo or Fried catfish.

Yeah.  Way to pick something maybe 10% of the population eats, or has ever eaten.

Maybe country ham?  BBQ?


Country ham on a beaten biscuit would have been a winner.
 
2014-03-11 11:13:07 AM  
Brisket is one step below eating dog meat.
 
2014-03-11 11:14:40 AM  

ChipNASA: THEY'RE MADE OUT OF MEAT



THE SINGULARITY

The Singularity has already happened.

We missed it.

We will die, you and I, in the world we were born into; not so my mother, your grandmother, our great uncle Jim. They were born into a world lit by fire, pulled by horses, or steam at best, and they died in a world knit together electronically, in which no two cities in the world are more than a long day's journey apart.

The curve that seems to us to be steepening so dramatically, has already formed its S, and is flattening toward the top. 

The curve began 500 years ago, with print and the discovery of the "New World," then with the telescope and the microscope, and it steepened steadily, if slowly, until the 1850s, and then shot straight up at the turn of the last century. 

Radio, the telephone, the airplane, the automobile, television: all this is familiar now, so familiar that we forget how drastically it altered everything.

All that was solid has melted into air.

My mother, born in a small town on the Green River in western Kentucky, lived thirty miles from the nearest city, on the Ohio. It was an overnight trip on a steamboat, a comfortable trip (the curve had steepened that far) taken once a year, when the tobacco crop was sold. Entertainment at home was sheet music, on the piano in the parlor. Jane Austen could have read it.

Caruso was a name. If my mother had gone to New York, or even Cincinnatti, she might have heard him sing. She had read about him in the papers that arrived (by boat) once a week. Or in the cities, by train, once a day. The curve had steepened that far.

Then one day she heard him sing. His voice arrived on a record, wound with a crank, shipped by steamboat from Louisville. You and I can hear him sing the same aria today. He had been off loaded into our cultural memory, immortalized. 

The curve was steepening; heading straight up. 

My mother was still a little girl when the phone rang. It was Uncle Jim, in Sorgho, twelve miles away. By the time she was a teenager it could have been anyone in the world.

Of course it wasn't, but it could have been. Then FDR turned on the lights, and spoke to her live on the radio, and to a million others. A million, all at once! The war came, and Churchill spoke as well. Uncle Jim bought a Ford and Evansville was only an hour away (still is). Mother got married and saw Milton Berle mugging on the TV, live from New York. He is still mugging (on disk) today. Immortalized. Downloaded into our cultural memory.

Middle age held bright new wonders. Mother brought country ham to my wedding in New York, but she could have brought ice cream, for she flew (flew!) in an aluminum tube at a high fraction of mach one. The whole trip took three hours.

Two weeks before she died the phone rang and it was my sister in Thailand. 

Since then, the curve has flattened. The Saturn V was in the Wright Flyer; the 777 in the DC3; the iPod in the Victrola; the internet in the phone on the wall and the TV that replaced the piano in the parlor. What we mistake as the coming Singularity is but enhancements, refinements, modifications. Computers get smaller and faster and smarter but they are still just off-loads of ourselves, memory and math. They will never tell us anything that we haven't told them to tell us. 

Computation is not consciousness. Memory is not intelligence. 

Before she died my mother's mind often wandered, and she reverted to the same little girl who had marveled at Caruso's actual voice. One night I took her for a drive on the bypass that now encircles her small town: Walmart, McDonald's, 7-11, all ablaze with neon signs. The traffic flowed like a river of light, and Elvis was on the radio, twenty years after his death. The car phone rang; it was my wife, reminding me to pick up ice cream. 

My mother sat up suddenly, looked around, delighted, and asked, "What happened here?"

What happened was the Singularity. It happened in an instant of historical time, and it created a world unrecognizable to the little girl who saw it begin. It was and is truly wonderful, and it's ours to finish, to refine, to enjoy, and hopefully to learn to control and use.

Not ours to create, ours to inherit.

The Singularity has already happened.
 
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