If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.

(Slate)   A look at each state's official meat, assuming it could only have one. Looks like I'm moving Texas, after all   (slate.com) divider line 196
    More: Interesting  
•       •       •

10735 clicks; posted to Main » on 11 Mar 2014 at 10:09 AM (19 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



196 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2014-03-11 09:32:05 AM
I never thought Nevada's state meat would be the Tube Steak.
 
2014-03-11 09:45:51 AM
Smithfield Ham is the tits.
 
2014-03-11 09:50:41 AM

kronicfeld: Smithfield Ham is the tits.


Meh. They're Chinese now. Come on out to the country and we'll get you some real Virginia ham. Or squirrel, which appears to be the other option. Got one outside right now, in fact, let me grab my shotgun.
 
2014-03-11 10:12:14 AM
THEY'RE MADE OUT OF MEAT


"They're made out of meat."

"Meat?"

"Meat. They're made out of meat."

"Meat?"

"There's no doubt about it. We picked up several from different parts of the planet, took them aboard our recon vessels, and probed them all the way through. They're completely meat."

"That's impossible. What about the radio signals? The messages to the stars?"

"They use the radio waves to talk, but the signals don't come from them. The signals come from machines."

"So who made the machines? That's who we want to contact."

"They made the machines. That's what I'm trying to tell you. Meat made the machines."

"That's ridiculous. How can meat make a machine? You're asking me to believe in sentient meat."

"I'm not asking you, I'm telling you. These creatures are the only sentient race in that sector and they're made out of meat."

"Maybe they're like the orfolei. You know, a carbon-based intelligence that goes through a meat stage."

"Nope. They're born meat and they die meat. We studied them for several of their life spans, which didn't take long. Do you have any idea what's the life span of meat?"

"Spare me. Okay, maybe they're only part meat. You know, like the weddilei. A meat head with an electron plasma brain inside."

"Nope. We thought of that, since they do have meat heads, like the weddilei. But I told you, we probed them. They're meat all the way through."

"No brain?"

"Oh, there's a brain all right. It's just that the brain is made out of meat! That's what I've been trying to tell you."

"So ... what does the thinking?"

"You're not understanding, are you? You're refusing to deal with what I'm telling you. The brain does the thinking. The meat."

"Thinking meat! You're asking me to believe in thinking meat!"

"Yes, thinking meat! Conscious meat! Loving meat. Dreaming meat. The meat is the whole deal!  Are you beginning to get the picture or do I have to start all over?"

"Omigod. You're serious then. They're made out of meat."

"Thank you. Finally. Yes. They are indeed made out of meat. And they've been trying to get in touch with us for almost a hundred of their years."

"Omigod. So what does this meat have in mind?"

"First it wants to talk to us. Then I imagine it wants to explore the Universe, contact other sentiences, swap ideas and information. The usual."

"We're supposed to talk to meat."

"That's the idea. That's the message they're sending out by radio. 'Hello. Anyone out there. Anybody home.' That sort of thing."

"They actually do talk, then. They use words, ideas, concepts?"
"Oh, yes. Except they do it with meat."

"I thought you just told me they used radio."

"They do, but what do you think is on the radio? Meat sounds. You know how when you slap or flap meat, it makes a noise? They talk by flapping their meat at each other. They can even sing by squirting air through their meat."

"Omigod. Singing meat. This is altogether too much. So what do you advise?"

"Officially or unofficially?"

"Both."

"Officially, we are required to contact, welcome and log in any and all sentient races or multibeings in this quadrant of the Universe, without prejudice, fear or favor. Unofficially, I advise that we erase the records and forget the whole thing."

"I was hoping you would say that."

"It seems harsh, but there is a limit. Do we really want to make contact with meat?"

"I agree one hundred percent. What's there to say? 'Hello, meat. How's it going?' But will this work? How many planets are we dealing with here?"

"Just one. They can travel to other planets in special meat containers, but they can't live on them. And being meat, they can only travel through C space. Which limits them to the speed of light and makes the possibility of their ever making contact pretty slim. Infinitesimal, in fact."

"So we just pretend there's no one home in the Universe."

"That's it."

"Cruel. But you said it yourself, who wants to meet meat? And the ones who have been aboard our vessels, the ones you probed? You're sure they won't remember?"

"They'll be considered crackpots if they do. We went into their heads and smoothed out their meat so that we're just a dream to them."

"A dream to meat! How strangely appropriate, that we should be meat's dream."

"And we marked the entire sector unoccupied."

"Good. Agreed, officially and unofficially. Case closed. Any others? Anyone interesting on that side of the galaxy?"

"Yes, a rather shy but sweet hydrogen core cluster intelligence in a class nine star in G445 zone. Was in contact two galactic rotations ago, wants to be friendly again."

"They always come around."

"And why not? Imagine how unbearably, how unutterably cold the Universe would be if one were all alone ..."
 
2014-03-11 10:13:31 AM
Arkansas - rabbit

I'm assuming that the rabbit is flattened and prepared under a hot sun using the highway as a cooking service.
 
2014-03-11 10:13:38 AM
Really Florida?
 
2014-03-11 10:13:53 AM
Yeah? Where ya moving it?
 
2014-03-11 10:14:14 AM
That's why you're favorited,
 
2014-03-11 10:14:21 AM
No one likes chicken?
 
2014-03-11 10:14:47 AM
Pennsylvania needs to be Milk Steak boiled over hard with an assortment of the finest jelly beans.
 
2014-03-11 10:15:34 AM
Maryland should be CRAB .yoooooo farkers....
 
2014-03-11 10:16:46 AM

bdub77: Really Florida?


What's wrong with alligator? That shiat is good. I could eat fried alligator any day.
 
2014-03-11 10:17:17 AM
NJ is  NOTCapicola, you farkin tards. NJ is - and will always be -  TAYLOR HAM.
 
2014-03-11 10:17:48 AM
That was directed at you, Chip NASA.

And screw Toledo and their kielbasa, we're all about the bratwursts down here.
 
2014-03-11 10:17:54 AM
Moving Texas where?
 
2014-03-11 10:17:57 AM
As a current Texas resident, you'd move here for brisket?  I'm a fan, but it doesn't touch pork BBQ.

/I'd be moving to Tennessee for bacon, but they already have Memphis style Q
 
2014-03-11 10:19:15 AM
Kentucky needs to be either Burgoo or Fried catfish.
 
2014-03-11 10:19:25 AM
Kentucky is lamb fries? Never heard of 'em.
 
2014-03-11 10:20:07 AM
They got RI right.
 
Rat
2014-03-11 10:20:23 AM
Franklin will help you bring Texas brisket into your own backyard.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VmTzdMHu5KU

 
2014-03-11 10:20:37 AM

CruJones:  I'm a fan, but it doesn't touch pork BBQ.


Perhaps you should move back to the land of shiatty country music and pig slathered in disgusting ketchup sauce then...
 
2014-03-11 10:21:08 AM
Not Tennessee with Bacon?

And I 2nd that Maryland should be crab.
 
2014-03-11 10:21:08 AM
You're moving Texas?  The whole state?  I'd like to know your workout regimen,  subby!
 
2014-03-11 10:21:25 AM
Obviously written by someone without a clue as to regional food.   NC barbecue is not "pulled pork."  Pork yes, but you'll never seen "pulled" offered here.   You get the choice of chopped or sliced usually.

Having grown up in MD I have no idea how HAM got to be the meat of choice especially the way he describes it.    The main part of MD is BEEF.   Corned beef up in Baltimore where it is an regional art form.    "Pit Beef" elsewhere in the states.   The eastern shore tends to chicken however.    Nearer to DC you get the odd sausage-variant called a half smoke.

Having lived in Colorado, can't say I was ever offered mutton.
 
2014-03-11 10:23:27 AM

emarche: NJ is  NOTCapicola, you farkin tards. NJ is - and will always be -  TAYLOR HAM.


^This^

And it's not "ham", it's Tayor Pork-roll.  The stuff goes way back...supplied to the Union Army during the Civil War.
 
2014-03-11 10:24:35 AM
Slate: one of the few websites that could ruin a mildly interesting concept by excluding 90% of actual meat because it didn't have hair at one point.
 
2014-03-11 10:24:48 AM
ChipNASA: "You know, a carbon-based intelligence that goes through a meat stage."

i651.photobucket.com

...Mom?
 
2014-03-11 10:25:12 AM
Living on the TN / NC border is pretty much perfect.  Bacon and pulled pork?  Yep, I can handle that.
 
2014-03-11 10:25:27 AM
Shouldn't each and every state be hamburger? Based on, you know, what people actually eat?
 
2014-03-11 10:25:27 AM
Tofu is not a meat. Carne asada is meat.
 
2014-03-11 10:25:29 AM
So glad that Pennsylvania is ruled by one "sandwich" meat.

:: sighs :: You do realize there is more to the state than Philly? I'm guessing the writer has never visited another part of PA aside from Philly.

That's okay... I'll save my angry face and make something actually delicious.

:)
 
2014-03-11 10:26:32 AM

Alassra: :: sighs :: You do realize there is more to the state than Philly? I'm guessing the writer has never visited another part of PA aside from Philly.


No one cares what the Amish eat.
 
2014-03-11 10:26:50 AM
I've got your official meat right here.
 
2014-03-11 10:27:02 AM
Burnt Ends for Kansas?  That kind of makes sense.  Oklahoma Joe's are great!
 
2014-03-11 10:27:46 AM

loki see loki do: Kentucky is lamb fries? Never heard of 'em.


I've heard of them, but damned if I know anyone here who'd actually eat them.
 
2014-03-11 10:27:57 AM
This is the list of plagiarism because it is the listing of the food eaten by the roommate of me in the two week period. She is the bigger person and does not have the desiring for vegetables.
 
2014-03-11 10:28:32 AM
Does this broad not know California is full of Mexicans who eat carnitas all day
 
2014-03-11 10:28:45 AM
Whomever came up with that graphic needs to get out more. They missed on more than they got right.
 
2014-03-11 10:29:06 AM

lilplatinum: Alassra: :: sighs :: You do realize there is more to the state than Philly? I'm guessing the writer has never visited another part of PA aside from Philly.

No one cares what the Amish eat.


they make some darned good cheese and bread. And pie.
 
2014-03-11 10:29:15 AM

emarche: NJ is  NOTCapicola, you farkin tards. NJ is - and will always be -  TAYLOR HAM.


Pork Roll for us from the northern part of the state.  But this is the truth.

/Now I needs some pork roll.
//Living in OK and hate chicken fried steak
 
2014-03-11 10:29:29 AM
Salami for Washington? One shop in Seattle represents the entire state huh? They should have gone with salmon.
 
2014-03-11 10:29:49 AM
Ridiculous rules that she doesn't even stick to.

"Meat" means mammal. Red meat is what makes Americans red-blooded. Chicken, fish, and turkey? Off the table.   What's that Florida?  Ok, you get a reptile.

Stews and sandwiches are not meat per se. The more accouterments a meat dish requires, the less likely it is to appear on this map. Hoppin' john, chili, and green chili stew are all meaty dishes highly identified with specific states-but they also contain beans, vegetables, and peppers, so they're out.  Oh my god, there's vegetables in this meat!  That doesn't work!

Hamburgers and hot dogs ... are the king and queen of American cuisine,  Oh, FFS.

It's a well-known fact that Californians don't eat meat, just tofu and kale.
 
2014-03-11 10:29:59 AM

scottydoesntknow: bdub77: Really Florida?

What's wrong with alligator? That shiat is good. I could eat fried alligator any day.


I know. Love fried gator. Now I kinda want to go have some. Need to head over to the reservation and pick some up soon.
 
2014-03-11 10:30:19 AM

meow said the dog: This is the list of plagiarism because it is the listing of the food eaten by the roommate of me in the two week period. She is the bigger person and does not have the desiring for vegetables.


Your roommate sounds hot!
 
2014-03-11 10:30:41 AM

Levarien: Pennsylvania needs to be Milk Steak boiled over hard with an assortment of the finest jelly beans.


encrypted-tbn1.gstatic.com

ghouls
 
2014-03-11 10:31:37 AM
Yeah, nothing says New York more than a hot dog, because we New Yorkers eat hot dogs for lunch 3 times per week.

Apparently nobody has ever heard of the New York Strip.
 
2014-03-11 10:31:50 AM

Alassra: So glad that Pennsylvania is ruled by one "sandwich" meat.

:: sighs :: You do realize there is more to the state than Philly? I'm guessing the writer has never visited another part of PA aside from Philly.

That's okay... I'll save my angry face and make something actually delicious.

:)


aww, you're the smiley face on my eat n park cookie!
 
2014-03-11 10:31:51 AM

xtalman: emarche: NJ is  NOTCapicola, you farkin tards. NJ is - and will always be -  TAYLOR HAM.

Pork Roll for us from the northern part of the state.  But this is the truth.

/Now I needs some pork roll.
//Living in OK and hate chicken fried steak


I torment you.

jerseyporkroll.com
 
2014-03-11 10:32:38 AM

El_Frijole_Blanco: Does this broad not know California is full of Mexicans who eat carnitas all day


Or that California is largely composed of Texas-like rednecks if you leave SF or LA, and that it produces 6% of the nation's beef.
 
2014-03-11 10:33:00 AM

ChipNASA: THEY'RE MADE OUT OF MEAT


tl;dr
 
2014-03-11 10:33:05 AM
This was surprisingly well done.  On that note, why do they call well done steak "well done"?  It's anything but. They should call it "dried out completely, chalky and tasteless - a ruined grey husk"  Anyone ordering it that way should be required to speak that exact description.
 
2014-03-11 10:34:09 AM
We win!
*drool* ....Bacon!!!
 
2014-03-11 10:34:10 AM
Porterhouse steak, mutherfarkers.

Suck it.
 
2014-03-11 10:34:11 AM
Snapper or Grouper for Florida - they may process the gator meat, but I bet most of that is shipped of to Louisiana

Shrimp-n-Grits for South Carolina
 
2014-03-11 10:34:26 AM
It's a well-known fact that Californians don't eat meat, just tofu and kale

San Fransisco smokes enough sausage for the whole state...
 
2014-03-11 10:34:35 AM
Taylor Pork Roll sammich...aka "Jersey Breakfast".

www.freewilliamsburg.com
 
2014-03-11 10:35:01 AM
Also this map is BS! South Dakota should be Chislek, Louisiana should be crawfish, North Dakota should be white tail deer, Montana should be beef period. Christ you cant get anything else here.
 
2014-03-11 10:35:06 AM
Looks like I'm moving Texas, after all

I suggest the middle of the South Atlantic.
 
2014-03-11 10:36:51 AM

UberDave: I never thought Nevada's state meat would be the Tube Steak.


If you click on the pic, it's actually tongue.

/which in itself is odd.
 
2014-03-11 10:37:03 AM

Sapper_Topo: Also this map is BS! South Dakota should be Chislek, Louisiana should be crawfish, North Dakota should be white tail deer, Montana should be beef period. Christ you cant get anything else here.


Listen I am the fan of the blood in the steak of me but the beef period is the newer of foods I have not had the enjoyment of.
 
2014-03-11 10:37:52 AM
I love ya baby but all I can think about is
Kielbasa sausage, your butt cheeks is warm.
I check my dipstick, you need lubrication honey,
My kielbasa sausage has just got to perform.
Now get it on!

I see you walkin', but all I can think about is
Dianetics, your butt cheeks is warm.
I check my dipstick, you need lubrication honey,
My kielbasa sausage has just got to perform.
Now I've been set loose-ah,
I'm shooting my juice-ah,
Right in your caboose.
Now farkin' get it on!
Now get it on.
Get it on!
 
2014-03-11 10:38:29 AM
I'm okay with Pennsylvania's official meat being the fixings for cheesesteak, but the author misses the mark for a true cheesesteak by requiring provolone.  That might be fine for all the fancy-schmancy steak shoppes out in places like center city, the mainline and the greater Northeast, but if you go to Pat's, you're getting Cheez Whiz or you're getting nothing.
 
2014-03-11 10:40:06 AM

loki see loki do: lilplatinum: Alassra: :: sighs :: You do realize there is more to the state than Philly? I'm guessing the writer has never visited another part of PA aside from Philly.

No one cares what the Amish eat.

they make some darned good cheese and bread. And pie.


And Wine...

From your comment above, I am assuming you are from Ohio (or the area).  Head over to Berlin (Ohio) sometime.  Your day will consist of the breakfast bar at Der Dutchman (between Berlin and Sugarcreek) and then drive down the road to Breitenbach winery, then head on over to Heine's Cheese Chalet (do not sample ALL the cheese, your colon will thank you..learned this the hard way).  Across from that is a bread store (forget the name of the place though) to finish off your day.

My vo-ag class went on a field trip to Amish Country Ohio one time.  We had breakfast an an actual amish house with the family and it was the best breakfast I ever had.  I really wish I could remember the place we went (somewhere in Holmes county of course).
 
2014-03-11 10:40:12 AM
In Texas, more places get brisket wrong then they get it right.  But the places that get it right (Smitty's, Snow's, Kreuz, Franklin's, Pecan Lodge) make up for the rest.  Popular places like Sonny Bryan's, Rudy's, the Salt lIck, or some chains like Spring Creek and DIckey's, are a pale imitations of the truly good places.

Also, always get it off the backside (or moist for people in central Texas).  The flat is less marbled and gets very tough very fast.
 
2014-03-11 10:40:37 AM

LoneVVolf: It's a well-known fact that Californians don't eat meat, just tofu and kale

San Fransisco smokes enough sausage for the whole state...


Bu dum...tsh!
 
2014-03-11 10:40:48 AM

ChipNASA: Maryland should be CRAB .yoooooo farkers....


Came here to say this.
 
2014-03-11 10:40:56 AM

CruJones: As a current Texas resident, you'd move here for brisket?  I'm a fan, but it doesn't touch pork BBQ.

/I'd be moving to Tennessee for bacon, but they already have Memphis style Q


I'm sorry, sir, but I'm going to have to ask you to leave.
 
2014-03-11 10:41:24 AM
Kinda figured brats for WI.

//sigh....such a cliche.
 
2014-03-11 10:42:18 AM
KC is the best BBQ. That being said, it shouldn't be Missouri's food. KC strip,pork steaks or Springfield cashew chicken backs more sense.
 
2014-03-11 10:42:32 AM

Prey4reign: I'm okay with Pennsylvania's official meat being the fixings for cheesesteak, but the author misses the mark for a true cheesesteak by requiring provolone.  That might be fine for all the fancy-schmancy steak shoppes out in places like center city, the mainline and the greater Northeast, but if you go to Pat's, you're getting Cheez Whiz or you're getting nothing.


Only time I have ever stayed in Pennsylvania... I got to go to Pat's. And damn straight they made the best cheesesteak ever!
 
2014-03-11 10:42:43 AM

Burr: We had breakfast an an actual amish house with the family and it was the best breakfast I ever had.


Did they wait til you were gone to molest and abuse their children?
 
2014-03-11 10:42:46 AM
FAIL on West Virginia.

Squirrel is no where near as popular as Bambi!
 
2014-03-11 10:42:56 AM

Rat: Franklin will help you bring Texas brisket into your own backyard.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VmTzdMHu5KU



I miss sams.  Oh well, he had to retire some time.

/Mickelwait meats is better imho.
 
2014-03-11 10:45:03 AM

lilplatinum: Burr: We had breakfast an an actual amish house with the family and it was the best breakfast I ever had.

Did they wait til you were gone to molest and abuse their children?


During, made the meal much more enjoyable
 
2014-03-11 10:46:48 AM

Burr: lilplatinum: Burr: We had breakfast an an actual amish house with the family and it was the best breakfast I ever had.

Did they wait til you were gone to molest and abuse their children?

During, made the meal much more enjoyable


Also, now I am interested, do you have a story about that?
 
2014-03-11 10:46:52 AM

ChrisDe: Tofu is not a meat. Carne asada is meat.


Came to say this... the official meat of California is either fish (tacos, sushi) or carne asada (tacos, everything else that is good in the world)
 
2014-03-11 10:47:48 AM
I'm aware the article indicated it's own restrictions, but I'm not sure why fish and shellfish weren't included.  They got red and white meat in there.  They say mammals only and then include chicken and gators.  They've got pork rinds (which are explicitly not meat; they're skin and/or fat).  They've got gelatin - which is not meat, and they break the rules on shellfish for maine, but not for other coastal states.

I find this map internally inconsistent, and it brings to mind a minor irritation I have;  The number of people I've come across who claim to be vegetarian and still eat fish, shrimp, lobster, crab.  it's like a KKK member claiming to be an equal rights advocate.
 
2014-03-11 10:48:15 AM

loki see loki do: And pie.


Shoofly pie.
 
2014-03-11 10:49:37 AM

Burr: lilplatinum: Burr: We had breakfast an an actual amish house with the family and it was the best breakfast I ever had.

Did they wait til you were gone to molest and abuse their children?

During, made the meal much more enjoyable


Kinda like dinner theater, dig it.
 
2014-03-11 10:52:16 AM

quietwalker: I'm aware the article indicated it's own restrictions, but I'm not sure why fish and shellfish weren't included.  They got red and white meat in there.  They say mammals only and then include chicken and gators.  They've got pork rinds (which are explicitly not meat; they're skin and/or fat).  They've got gelatin - which is not meat, and they break the rules on shellfish for maine, but not for other coastal states.

I find this map internally inconsistent, and it brings to mind a minor irritation I have;  The number of people I've come across who claim to be vegetarian and still eat fish, shrimp, lobster, crab.  it's like a KKK member claiming to be an equal rights advocate.


Do you do the speaking of the language of the Anglicans?
 
2014-03-11 10:53:35 AM
Is this one of Obama's '57' States?

Luxembourg
Pork collar
Judd mat Gaardebounen
, the national dish of Luxembourg, is a plate of broad beans topped with sliced smoked pork collar. Pork collar is a cut near the shoulder that's rarely used in the States, so I am more than happy to yield it to Luxembourg. Gudden appetit!
 
2014-03-11 10:55:01 AM

ferretman: Is this one of Obama's '57' States?

Luxembourg
Pork collar
Judd mat Gaardebounen, the national dish of Luxembourg, is a plate of broad beans topped with sliced smoked pork collar. Pork collar is a cut near the shoulder that's rarely used in the States, so I am more than happy to yield it to Luxembourg. Gudden appetit!


LAUGHTER OL reading is not that which has strongman suits of you.
 
2014-03-11 10:55:17 AM
My state is better than your state.
 
2014-03-11 10:55:39 AM

xtalman: emarche: NJ is  NOTCapicola, you farkin tards. NJ is - and will always be -  TAYLOR HAM.

Pork Roll for us from the northern part of the state.  But this is the truth.

/Now I needs some pork roll.
//Living in OK and hate chicken fried steak


I grew up in North Jersey, never once heard it called Pork Roll - it's always been Taylor Ham - even though that's what the Taylor company calls it. Either way, if it isn't Taylor...it doesn't count. There  isa difference.
 
2014-03-11 10:56:57 AM
Apparently the author has never driven through California on interstate 5.  Or, the tofu at Harris Ranch smells awfully bad
 
2014-03-11 10:57:07 AM

quietwalker: I'm aware the article indicated it's own restrictions, but I'm not sure why fish and shellfish weren't included.  They got red and white meat in there.  They say mammals only and then include chicken and gators.  They've got pork rinds (which are explicitly not meat; they're skin and/or fat).  They've got gelatin - which is not meat, and they break the rules on shellfish for maine, but not for other coastal states.

I find this map internally inconsistent, and it brings to mind a minor irritation I have;  The number of people I've come across who claim to be vegetarian and still eat fish, shrimp, lobster, crab.  it's like a KKK member claiming to be an equal rights advocate.


Yeah, stick to the rules. For Maine, he could have gone Franco and used creton or meat pie.
 
2014-03-11 10:58:03 AM

Evil Mackerel: Kentucky needs to be either Burgoo or Fried catfish.


Yeah.  Way to pick something maybe 10% of the population eats, or has ever eaten.

Maybe country hamBBQ?
 
2014-03-11 10:58:52 AM

kronicfeld: Smithfield Ham is the tits.


Seconded!


/Still representin' the 540
 
2014-03-11 11:00:00 AM
She had to have a dumbass dig at California. Santa Maria style BBQ is extremely popular in California...Tri Tip would have done nicely for California. Stupid to say California or any other state is principally vegetarian.
 
2014-03-11 11:00:19 AM
This article changed my life.  I'm waiting with bated breath for the made up list of of state condiments.
 
2014-03-11 11:01:19 AM

emarche: xtalman: emarche: NJ is  NOTCapicola, you farkin tards. NJ is - and will always be -  TAYLOR HAM.

Pork Roll for us from the northern part of the state.  But this is the truth.

/Now I needs some pork roll.
//Living in OK and hate chicken fried steak

I grew up in North Jersey, never once heard it called Pork Roll - it's always been Taylor Ham - even though that's what the Taylor company calls it. Either way, if it isn't Taylor...it doesn't count. There  isa difference.


GF from North Jersey. It's called Taylor ham at every deli I've ever been to with her...and it's delicious (family from the Tom's River area call it pork roll). Found it in my local supermarket as well so we don't have to go back the NJ to get it if we have a craving. Dammit. Now I want Taylor ham, egg, and cheese...
 
2014-03-11 11:03:01 AM

Alassra: So glad that Pennsylvania is ruled by one "sandwich" meat.

:: sighs :: You do realize there is more to the state than Philly? I'm guessing the writer has never visited another part of PA aside from Philly.

That's okay... I'll save my angry face and make something actually delicious.

:)


And there's more to Illinois than Chicago, too.  Porterhouse steak?  That makes no sense. The author bases it on the Union Stock Yards, but those are primarily associated with hog butchery.  Nobody goes to Illinois for the steak.  Illinois' meat should really be some kind of sausage, which factors heavily in Chicago's signature foods (pizza and hot dogs) as well as in the dishes of the large Polish and Germanic populations throughout the state.
 
2014-03-11 11:05:53 AM
OK, I'll go along with carne adovada in New Mexico, but the linked recipe is bullshiat, ancho & pasilla chiles?
If it ain't red chile it ain't New Mexico carne adovada.
 
2014-03-11 11:07:19 AM

spiderpaz: El_Frijole_Blanco: Does this broad not know California is full of Mexicans who eat carnitas all day

Or that California is largely composed of Texas-like rednecks if you leave SF or LA, and that it produces 6% of the nation's beef.


This.  Once you leave the two big urban areas, California becomes almost a true red-state.  And we love our meat, look up Santa Maria style Tri-tip.

/mmmmm, cow grilled over wood
 
2014-03-11 11:09:46 AM

Fissile: xtalman: emarche: NJ is  NOTCapicola, you farkin tards. NJ is - and will always be -  TAYLOR HAM.

Pork Roll for us from the northern part of the state.  But this is the truth.

/Now I needs some pork roll.
//Living in OK and hate chicken fried steak

I torment you.

[jerseyporkroll.com image 800x800]


This is just plan evil.
 
2014-03-11 11:10:41 AM
So "pork roll" is what?  a big ol' hunk o' Spam?
 
2014-03-11 11:10:53 AM
2.bp.blogspot.com
 
2014-03-11 11:12:47 AM

23FPB23: Evil Mackerel: Kentucky needs to be either Burgoo or Fried catfish.

Yeah.  Way to pick something maybe 10% of the population eats, or has ever eaten.

Maybe country ham?  BBQ?


Country ham on a beaten biscuit would have been a winner.
 
2014-03-11 11:13:07 AM
Brisket is one step below eating dog meat.
 
2014-03-11 11:14:40 AM

ChipNASA: THEY'RE MADE OUT OF MEAT



THE SINGULARITY

The Singularity has already happened.

We missed it.

We will die, you and I, in the world we were born into; not so my mother, your grandmother, our great uncle Jim. They were born into a world lit by fire, pulled by horses, or steam at best, and they died in a world knit together electronically, in which no two cities in the world are more than a long day's journey apart.

The curve that seems to us to be steepening so dramatically, has already formed its S, and is flattening toward the top. 

The curve began 500 years ago, with print and the discovery of the "New World," then with the telescope and the microscope, and it steepened steadily, if slowly, until the 1850s, and then shot straight up at the turn of the last century. 

Radio, the telephone, the airplane, the automobile, television: all this is familiar now, so familiar that we forget how drastically it altered everything.

All that was solid has melted into air.

My mother, born in a small town on the Green River in western Kentucky, lived thirty miles from the nearest city, on the Ohio. It was an overnight trip on a steamboat, a comfortable trip (the curve had steepened that far) taken once a year, when the tobacco crop was sold. Entertainment at home was sheet music, on the piano in the parlor. Jane Austen could have read it.

Caruso was a name. If my mother had gone to New York, or even Cincinnatti, she might have heard him sing. She had read about him in the papers that arrived (by boat) once a week. Or in the cities, by train, once a day. The curve had steepened that far.

Then one day she heard him sing. His voice arrived on a record, wound with a crank, shipped by steamboat from Louisville. You and I can hear him sing the same aria today. He had been off loaded into our cultural memory, immortalized. 

The curve was steepening; heading straight up. 

My mother was still a little girl when the phone rang. It was Uncle Jim, in Sorgho, twelve miles away. By the time she was a teenager it could have been anyone in the world.

Of course it wasn't, but it could have been. Then FDR turned on the lights, and spoke to her live on the radio, and to a million others. A million, all at once! The war came, and Churchill spoke as well. Uncle Jim bought a Ford and Evansville was only an hour away (still is). Mother got married and saw Milton Berle mugging on the TV, live from New York. He is still mugging (on disk) today. Immortalized. Downloaded into our cultural memory.

Middle age held bright new wonders. Mother brought country ham to my wedding in New York, but she could have brought ice cream, for she flew (flew!) in an aluminum tube at a high fraction of mach one. The whole trip took three hours.

Two weeks before she died the phone rang and it was my sister in Thailand. 

Since then, the curve has flattened. The Saturn V was in the Wright Flyer; the 777 in the DC3; the iPod in the Victrola; the internet in the phone on the wall and the TV that replaced the piano in the parlor. What we mistake as the coming Singularity is but enhancements, refinements, modifications. Computers get smaller and faster and smarter but they are still just off-loads of ourselves, memory and math. They will never tell us anything that we haven't told them to tell us. 

Computation is not consciousness. Memory is not intelligence. 

Before she died my mother's mind often wandered, and she reverted to the same little girl who had marveled at Caruso's actual voice. One night I took her for a drive on the bypass that now encircles her small town: Walmart, McDonald's, 7-11, all ablaze with neon signs. The traffic flowed like a river of light, and Elvis was on the radio, twenty years after his death. The car phone rang; it was my wife, reminding me to pick up ice cream. 

My mother sat up suddenly, looked around, delighted, and asked, "What happened here?"

What happened was the Singularity. It happened in an instant of historical time, and it created a world unrecognizable to the little girl who saw it begin. It was and is truly wonderful, and it's ours to finish, to refine, to enjoy, and hopefully to learn to control and use.

Not ours to create, ours to inherit.

The Singularity has already happened.
 
2014-03-11 11:16:21 AM

Night Night Cream Puff: emarche: xtalman: emarche: NJ is  NOTCapicola, you farkin tards. NJ is - and will always be -  TAYLOR HAM.

Pork Roll for us from the northern part of the state.  But this is the truth.

/Now I needs some pork roll.
//Living in OK and hate chicken fried steak

I grew up in North Jersey, never once heard it called Pork Roll - it's always been Taylor Ham - even though that's what the Taylor company calls it. Either way, if it isn't Taylor...it doesn't count. There  isa difference.

GF from North Jersey. It's called Taylor ham at every deli I've ever been to with her...and it's delicious (family from the Tom's River area call it pork roll). Found it in my local supermarket as well so we don't have to go back the NJ to get it if we have a craving. Dammit. Now I want Taylor ham, egg, and cheese...


Okay, I grew up in north central jersey, Morristown area, most of my family is in central Jersey and we called it Pork Roll, either way it is yummy and as was posted up above, Taylor FTW, nothing else compares.
 
2014-03-11 11:16:22 AM
I'm a native Maryland resident and have never heard of corned ham. This sites information is bogus. Try crabs or oysters. Even chicken would work.
 
2014-03-11 11:16:26 AM

Alassra: So glad that Pennsylvania is ruled by one "sandwich" meat.

:: sighs :: You do realize there is more to the state than Philly? I'm guessing the writer has never visited another part of PA aside from Philly.

That's okay... I'll save my angry face and make something actually delicious.

:)


PA is a magical land of meat. Case in point: Lebanon Baloney. Awesome.

/wife born and raised in PA.
 
2014-03-11 11:17:47 AM
Mutton gelatin?

/that's just wrong
 
2014-03-11 11:18:06 AM
I'm leaning towards tri-tip for Cali
 
2014-03-11 11:20:42 AM

Prevailing Wind: ChipNASA: THEY'RE MADE OUT OF MEAT


THE SINGULARITY

The Singularity has already happened.

We missed it.


bluraymedia.ign.com
Colonel Sandurz: We missed it.
Dark Helmet: When?
Colonel Sandurz: Just now.
Dark Helmet: When will then be now?
 
2014-03-11 11:20:58 AM

Mid_mo_mad_man: KC is the best BBQ. That being said, it shouldn't be Missouri's food. KC strip,pork steaks or Springfield cashew chicken backs more sense.


New Yorkers would like a word.  Same cut different name still good either way.

KC BBQ is great.
 
2014-03-11 11:22:28 AM
I just knew Delaware would be scrapple, delicious delicious scrapple..
 
2014-03-11 11:22:31 AM

emarche: NJ is  NOTCapicola, you farkin tards. NJ is - and will always be -  TAYLOR HAM.


Glad to see this was covered. The judges would also accept pork roll. Scrapple is from Delaware? I always thought that was an Amish thing. Also, if you only know PA for cheesesteaks, you're missing out. Hot roast pork on a long roll with provolone and broccoli rabe...hey, look, it's lunch time!

/NE Philly
//yo
 
2014-03-11 11:22:39 AM

meow said the dog: ferretman: Is this one of Obama's '57' States?

Luxembourg
Pork collar
Judd mat Gaardebounen, the national dish of Luxembourg, is a plate of broad beans topped with sliced smoked pork collar. Pork collar is a cut near the shoulder that's rarely used in the States, so I am more than happy to yield it to Luxembourg. Gudden appetit!

LAUGHTER OL reading is not that which has strongman suits of you.


F#cking tard even threadshiats on the main board.
Neckbearded asshole.
 
2014-03-11 11:25:47 AM

Pants full of macaroni!!: I love ya baby but all I can think about is
Kielbasa sausage, your butt cheeks is warm.
I check my dipstick, you need lubrication honey,
My kielbasa sausage has just got to perform.
Now get it on!

I see you walkin', but all I can think about is
Dianetics, your butt cheeks is warm.
I check my dipstick, you need lubrication honey,
My kielbasa sausage has just got to perform.
Now I've been set loose-ah,
I'm shooting my juice-ah,
Right in your caboose.
Now farkin' get it on!
Now get it on.
Get it on!


Yeah I just sang that in my head to Jack Black's voice.
 
2014-03-11 11:26:46 AM
I'd go with pit beef for Maryland, but whatever. The half-smoke for DC is pretty ubiquitous.
 
2014-03-11 11:27:02 AM

ChipNASA: Maryland should be CRAB .yoooooo farkers....


It should but we are talking meat, not seafood. It should be Pit Beef.
 
2014-03-11 11:27:57 AM

CreepyBasementGuy: Brisket is one step below eating dog meat.


Not if you know how to cook it. Then it becomes magical.

With SXSW in town, I imagine the line at Franklin BBQ will be epic.



4.bp.blogspot.com
 
2014-03-11 11:29:05 AM

emarche: xtalman: emarche: NJ is  NOTCapicola, you farkin tards. NJ is - and will always be -  TAYLOR HAM.

Pork Roll for us from the northern part of the state.  But this is the truth.

/Now I needs some pork roll.
//Living in OK and hate chicken fried steak

I grew up in North Jersey, never once heard it called Pork Roll - it's always been Taylor Ham - even though that's what the Taylor company calls it. Either way, if it isn't Taylor...it doesn't count. There  isa difference.


In central jersey it's always called pork roll atleast on delis' menus. I think Taylor ham is a brand name.
 
2014-03-11 11:29:48 AM

CreepyBasementGuy: Brisket is one step below eating dog meat.


static2.fjcdn.com
 
2014-03-11 11:30:27 AM
The interesting thing about these "your state" articles is that everyone biatches about how "they got my state wrong", but it gets a huge amount of clicks.

You're the reason Buzzfeed exists.
 
2014-03-11 11:31:01 AM

Maud Dib: Neckbearded asshole.


I shall now call Neckbeards Pork Collars.
 
2014-03-11 11:31:37 AM
BAM!  Got elk.  I happen to have a frezzer full of it right now.
 
2014-03-11 11:32:56 AM
Texas BBQ with Brisket.

He's a Texan so I'm guessing he knows his shait.
If you don't like it, tell his cousin, Danny Trejo, it sucks.
 
2014-03-11 11:33:06 AM
Kielbasa for Ohio?  Really?  Oh but wait, they cook it in Toledo every other year, so it must be!
 
2014-03-11 11:34:03 AM

Wasteland: loki see loki do: Kentucky is lamb fries? Never heard of 'em.

I've heard of them, but damned if I know anyone here who'd actually eat them.



Now there's a man who knows when he's got something good in his mouth.

image1.frequency.com


/Should have explained those things better on the menu.
 
2014-03-11 11:36:00 AM

big pig peaches: emarche: xtalman: emarche: NJ is  NOTCapicola, you farkin tards. NJ is - and will always be -  TAYLOR HAM.

Pork Roll for us from the northern part of the state.  But this is the truth.

/Now I needs some pork roll.
//Living in OK and hate chicken fried steak

I grew up in North Jersey, never once heard it called Pork Roll - it's always been Taylor Ham - even though that's what the Taylor company calls it. Either way, if it isn't Taylor...it doesn't count. There  isa difference.

In central jersey it's always called pork roll atleast on delis' menus. I think Taylor ham is a brand name.


Lets stop arguing amongst each other.  This is the stuff we're all referring to. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pork_roll

Now lets get back to important things, like beating the crap out of loud Massholes New England Patriot fans at Giants Stadium.
 
2014-03-11 11:37:34 AM

Alassra: So glad that Pennsylvania is ruled by one "sandwich" meat.

:: sighs :: You do realize there is more to the state than Philly? I'm guessing the writer has never visited another part of PA aside from Philly.

That's okay... I'll save my angry face and make something actually delicious.

:)


I'll take a cheesesteak over Primanti's.  Fries are a side, not a topping.
 
2014-03-11 11:40:12 AM

CreepyBasementGuy: Brisket is one step below eating dog meat.


It can be.  Some of the most flavorful meats are the toughest.  Bad brisket is rubbery and inedible.  But good brisket, particularly off the back end, is divine.  If you ever get the chance to go to SNows, Smitty's, Franklin's, or Pecan Lodge, you will understand how wrong you were.  A well smoked piece of brisket with a good bark, nice marbling, and cooked to perfection is very, very good.

Now I might have to cook a brisket this weekend,
 
2014-03-11 11:41:33 AM
XaltmanThe NY and KC strip are not the same steak.
 
2014-03-11 11:41:50 AM
I figured Texas would be hog, given the feral hog problem.  That went to Oregon the state that I am willing to be isn't over run with feral hogs.


Feral hogs and the insane amount of coyotes  are the reason I bough a "bush gun" fark those little piggies.
 
2014-03-11 11:43:23 AM

ChipNASA: THEY'RE MADE OUT OF MEAT


"They're made out of meat."

"Meat?"

"Meat. They're made out of meat."

"Meat?"

"There's no doubt about it. We picked up several from different parts of the planet, took them aboard our recon vessels, and probed them all the way through. They're completely meat."


You win!
 
2014-03-11 11:46:01 AM

CreepyBasementGuy: Brisket is one step below eating dog meat.


Corned beef hash says you are an idiot.
 
2014-03-11 11:46:18 AM

xtalman: Pork Roll for us from the northern part of the state.  But this is the truth.


Pork Roll is for the southern part of the state...Taylor Ham up north.
 
2014-03-11 11:46:45 AM
I lost my keilbasi down the sewer,
I lost my keilbasi down the drain.
Now I'm without my keilbasi
And my heart is full of pain.

/lives in Ohio
//had keilbasi last night.
 
2014-03-11 11:48:05 AM

dentalhilljack: Alassra: So glad that Pennsylvania is ruled by one "sandwich" meat.

:: sighs :: You do realize there is more to the state than Philly? I'm guessing the writer has never visited another part of PA aside from Philly.

That's okay... I'll save my angry face and make something actually delicious.

:)

I'll take a cheesesteak over Primanti's.  Fries are a side, not a topping.


================
Me too... I despise Cole Slaw and mushy fries on a sandwich
 
2014-03-11 11:52:15 AM
Riiiiiight, Iowa's meat is *beef* based.

Stupid map is stupid, like these stupid maps always are.
 
2014-03-11 11:52:58 AM
The Rocky Mountain Oysters look like chicken nuggets and pork rinds look like Fritos.

These maps would be a whole lot cooler if they could get people who actually know how to draw working on them.

/and please Subby, just move Texas far, far away from the U.S.
//it's what they would have wanted
 
2014-03-11 11:54:24 AM
One of the few great things about Nebraska. You never want for a good steak around here.

Gorat's
Cascio's
Anthony's
Brother Sebastian's
Venice Inn (Closing this summer, sadly)
Flatiron Grill
The Drover
J's on Jackson
Piccolo's

All are great Omaha steak joints. If you ever visit, go to one. In fact, go to them all. Cram yourself with meat.

/Do NOT go to Omaha Prime though. Trust me. You're probably eating prime rib that was reheated or a steak that sat on their display plate all day yesterday.
 
2014-03-11 11:55:26 AM
I got yer "official meat" RIGHT HERE!
 
2014-03-11 11:56:57 AM

Prevailing Wind: ChipNASA: THEY'RE MADE OUT OF MEAT


THE SINGULARITY

The Singularity has already happened.

We missed it.

We will die, you and I, in the world we were born into; not so my mother, your grandmother, our great uncle Jim. They were born into a world lit by fire, pulled by horses, or steam at best, and they died in a world knit together electronically, in which no two cities in the world are more than a long day's journey apart.

The curve that seems to us to be steepening so dramatically, has already formed its S, and is flattening toward the top.

The curve began 500 years ago, with print and the discovery of the "New World," then with the telescope and the microscope, and it steepened steadily, if slowly, until the 1850s, and then shot straight up at the turn of the last century.

Radio, the telephone, the airplane, the automobile, television: all this is familiar now, so familiar that we forget how drastically it altered everything.

All that was solid has melted into air.

My mother, born in a small town on the Green River in western Kentucky, lived thirty miles from the nearest city, on the Ohio. It was an overnight trip on a steamboat, a comfortable trip (the curve had steepened that far) taken once a year, when the tobacco crop was sold. Entertainment at home was sheet music, on the piano in the parlor. Jane Austen could have read it.

Caruso was a name. If my mother had gone to New York, or even Cincinnatti, she might have heard him sing. She had read about him in the papers that arrived (by boat) once a week. Or in the cities, by train, once a day. The curve had steepened that far.

Then one day she heard him sing. His voice arrived on a record, wound with a crank, shipped by steamboat from Louisville. You and I can hear him sing the same aria today. He had been off loaded into our cultural memory, immortalized.

The curve was steepening; heading straight up.

My mother was still a little girl when the phone rang. It was Uncle Jim, in Sorgho, twelve mile ...


imageshack.com
 
2014-03-11 12:04:43 PM
SC is pork chops, really? I don't think so. Article has no clue. I grew up on pig pickins. Smoked for twelve to fourteen hours, charring the skin just right. That's classic SC. I don't know any family that didn't do at least one pig picken in their lives. Plus, vinegar sauce is just as normal here as mustard sauce, and where I grew up vinegar always won out. Plus, fried fat back is also classic South Carolina (I don't see that much elsewhere) and fried cornbread. Loved my grandma's fried cornbread - not a meat but fried in a enough bacon grease it should have been ;).

If you don't know what a pig pickin is just GIS "pig pickin".
 
2014-03-11 12:11:07 PM

Mid_mo_mad_man: XaltmanThe NY and KC strip are not the same steak.


Same cut possibly served a little differently and a quick GIS shows there is some controversy as to whether the  bone is in or not.
 
2014-03-11 12:16:33 PM
New York System Wieners are good, but the only real Rhode Island meat is the quahog.
 
2014-03-11 12:16:46 PM
All those words - and not a single state claims venison?  Clearly, hunters need to up their game (heh)
 
2014-03-11 12:18:19 PM

bikerbob59: Kinda figured brats for WI.

//sigh....such a cliche.


I guessed that too.  BUT, nothing better than washing down a brat with a good beer.
 
2014-03-11 12:20:52 PM

Interceptor1: I'm a native Maryland resident and have never heard of corned ham. This sites information is bogus. Try crabs or oysters. Even chicken would work.


And I was born and raised in Michigan, and spent the majority of my life in various places across the state, and I have never once had corned beef, seen it offered as a menu item in any restaurant, or considered it "our" meat. I have more cube steak (in Italian steak sandwiches) than the average American, I'd bet, though.

Also, the author missed coney island hot dogs, which were invented in Michigan (and not Coney Island, as you'd think), and are considered a must-have item when in certain places within Michigan. As a state we have some of the highest standards for hot dogs in terms of what's allowed to be in them, and if you haven't had a Kowalski or Koegel hot dog, you're missing something and you're failing as a Michigan citizen.

The thought of corned beef doesn't appeal to me, and so I've never bothered. I don't know what the fark a "Dinty Moore" sandwich is. I've lived in Detroit, and I never heard of such a thing. I know Dinty Moore as the Hormel brand of beef stew, but not as a sandwich.

I don't know where she got her information, but it wasn't from a Michigander.
 
2014-03-11 12:23:24 PM

Uisce Beatha: All those words - and not a single state claims venison?  Clearly, hunters need to up their game (heh)


Exactly what I was thinking.  Grew up in Washington state - Mule and whitetail deer were always on the menu.

TFA *did* manage to get Alaska right though.  Already got the August and October hunts planned out.
 
2014-03-11 12:26:38 PM

CruJones: As a current Texas resident, you'd move here for brisket?  I'm a fan, but it doesn't touch pork BBQ.

/I'd be moving to Tennessee for bacon, but they already have Memphis style Q


So much this.  I have no idea how some form of pork BBQ wasn't the choice for Tennessee.  It's the only good food we have in this state.
 
2014-03-11 12:29:40 PM

booty-j: Levarien: Pennsylvania needs to be Milk Steak boiled over hard with an assortment of the finest jelly beans.

[encrypted-tbn1.gstatic.com image 450x450]

ghouls


Little green ghouls buddy!
 
2014-03-11 12:30:05 PM

emarche: NJ is  NOTCapicola, you farkin tards. NJ is - and will always be -  TAYLOR HAM.


This. Pretend for a minute that you never signed up for HBO.
 
2014-03-11 12:31:22 PM
Xaltman: The KC strip is the strip portion of the porterhouse. NY is the tbone strip./Craving a steak now
 
2014-03-11 12:31:26 PM

Uisce Beatha: All those words - and not a single state claims venison?  Clearly, hunters need to up their game (heh)


That would have worked for Michigan, too. I've certainly had WAY more venison than farking corned beef, and I'm not even a hunter. When someone in Michigan goes "up north" they're very often going there to fill the freezer with venison.

Really, the fact that she disallowed seafood (but went ahead and gave Maine "surf & turf" anyway) is a problem that limits her choices. Michigan is surrounded by the three largest lakes in this hemisphere, and you can bet we have a bunch more lakes and rivers inland, all being fed by the Great Lakes. I'd say we eat a larger share of freshwater fish than just about anyone else. But nOOOooooo... Seafood isn't allowed in this arbitrary, silly map.
 
2014-03-11 12:32:35 PM

idsfa: CreepyBasementGuy: Brisket is one step below eating dog meat.

Corned beef hash says you are an idiot.


LOL. Did you buy that in a can?
 
2014-03-11 12:32:44 PM

Evil Mackerel: Kentucky


I was going to say...I know they exist, but I've never run across them.  I was expecting Burgoo or KFC, honestly.
 
2014-03-11 12:33:11 PM
"I'll have the pork roll egg and cheese on an everything bagel. No egg, no cheese".
 
2014-03-11 12:34:39 PM

Nix Nightbird: Interceptor1: I'm a native Maryland resident and have never heard of corned ham. This sites information is bogus. Try crabs or oysters. Even chicken would work.

And I was born and raised in Michigan, and spent the majority of my life in various places across the state, and I have never once had corned beef, seen it offered as a menu item in any restaurant, or considered it "our" meat. I have more cube steak (in Italian steak sandwiches) than the average American, I'd bet, though.

Also, the author missed coney island hot dogs, which were invented in Michigan (and not Coney Island, as you'd think), and are considered a must-have item when in certain places within Michigan. As a state we have some of the highest standards for hot dogs in terms of what's allowed to be in them, and if you haven't had a Kowalski or Koegel hot dog, you're missing something and you're failing as a Michigan citizen.

The thought of corned beef doesn't appeal to me, and so I've never bothered. I don't know what the fark a "Dinty Moore" sandwich is. I've lived in Detroit, and I never heard of such a thing. I know Dinty Moore as the Hormel brand of beef stew, but not as a sandwich.

I don't know where she got her information, but it wasn't from a Michigander.


I'm not even from Michigan and I was thinking the same thing about the Coneys. My buddy turned me on to Koegel and now I order a few times a year. Now I have to look up Kowalski hot dogs. Off to the Googles!
 
2014-03-11 12:35:17 PM

That Guy Jeff: Riiiiiight, Iowa's meat is *beef* based.

Stupid map is stupid, like these stupid maps always are.


I didnt get that either, everyone knows the pork tenderloin sammich is the meat of Iowa.
 
2014-03-11 12:36:40 PM

jaybeezey: booty-j: Levarien: Pennsylvania needs to be Milk Steak boiled over hard with an assortment of the finest jelly beans.

[encrypted-tbn1.gstatic.com image 450x450]

ghouls

Little green ghouls buddy!



Wild Card biatches!!!!
 
2014-03-11 12:41:03 PM
Pennsylvania's should be kielbasa.
 
2014-03-11 12:57:05 PM
I'm from Indiana and moved to Georgia about 7 years ago.  Have been craving pork tenderloin sandwiches and can't find any place that has them in GA.  I didn't even know that pork tenderloin was really big in Indiana!!

Still want a damn thick cut pork tenderloin sammich!  With a side of fried mushrooms and onion rings.

I've been eating healthy over the past few years.  I'm allowed to gorge every once in a while.
 
2014-03-11 01:07:58 PM
I thought lutefisk was Minnesota's state meat? HaHa, just kidding Minnesota!
 
kth
2014-03-11 01:09:03 PM
Finally, I don't have to be embarrassed by Kansas...

Actually, now is a great time for my three favorite things that Kansas does well: Beer, Barbecue and Basketball.
 
2014-03-11 01:18:52 PM

ChipNASA: THEY'RE MADE OUT OF MEAT


"They're made out of meat."

"Meat?"

"Meat. They're made out of meat."

"Meat?"

"There's no doubt about it. We picked up several from different parts of the planet, took them aboard our recon vessels, and probed them all the way through. They're completely meat."

"That's impossible. What about the radio signals? The messages to the stars?"

"They use the radio waves to talk, but the signals don't come from them. The signals come from machines."

"So who made the machines? That's who we want to contact."

"They made the machines. That's what I'm trying to tell you. Meat made the machines."

"That's ridiculous. How can meat make a machine? You're asking me to believe in sentient meat."

"I'm not asking you, I'm telling you. These creatures are the only sentient race in that sector and they're made out of meat."

"Maybe they're like the orfolei. You know, a carbon-based intelligence that goes through a meat stage."

"Nope. They're born meat and they die meat. We studied them for several of their life spans, which didn't take long. Do you have any idea what's the life span of meat?"

"Spare me. Okay, maybe they're only part meat. You know, like the weddilei. A meat head with an electron plasma brain inside."

"Nope. We thought of that, since they do have meat heads, like the weddilei. But I told you, we probed them. They're meat all the way through."

"No brain?"

"Oh, there's a brain all right. It's just that the brain is made out of meat! That's what I've been trying to tell you."

"So ... what does the thinking?"

"You're not understanding, are you? You're refusing to deal with what I'm telling you. The brain does the thinking. The meat."

"Thinking meat! You're asking me to believe in thinking meat!"

"Yes, thinking meat! Conscious meat! Loving meat. Dreaming meat. The meat is the whole deal!  Are you beginning to get the picture or do I have to start all over?"

"Omigod. You're serious then. They're made out of meat."

"Thank you. Fina ...


And then he got a job driving a cab so he could better observe the planet's inhabitants while keeping a very low profile.
 
2014-03-11 01:32:24 PM

doubled99: No one likes chicken?


I see you didn't bother to reae the article. He assigned each stste it's meatv and his arbitrary rules state it had to be from a mammal. Chickens don't count.
 
2014-03-11 02:03:22 PM
Who knew Mississippi's favorite meat is Fritos.  Regardless, what a dumb article.
 
2014-03-11 02:21:09 PM

mjones73: ChipNASA: Maryland should be CRAB .yoooooo farkers....

It should but we are talking meat, not seafood. It should be Pit Beef.


As stated, although seafood is technically "meat"... they didn't consider it meat for this purpose (also unless I missed something, left out chicken anywhere)... this was more a "regional ways to make beef & pork" map.
 
2014-03-11 02:23:35 PM

ChrisDe: Tofu is not a meat. Carne asada is meat.


That's the joke.

That said,

More than 50 percent of the total value of U.S. sales of cattle and calves comes from the top 5 states: (Jan. 1, 2013 USDA Cattle Inventory Report)
1. Texas
2. Nebraska
3. Kansas
4. California
5. Oklahoma - See more at: http://www.beefusa.org/beefindustrystatistics.aspx#sthash.Ehnq5bcL.dpu f

California has more salad-eating hippies than probably any other state. But we also have more meat-three-meals-a-day dedicated carnivores than just about any other state (Texas would be the only exception), just because California has a hell of a lot of people.

I don't know if Santa Maria style "barbecue" is popular enough across the state to justify being on the list, but it's what I'd pick as a native California meat.
 
2014-03-11 02:25:25 PM

dletter: mjones73: ChipNASA: Maryland should be CRAB .yoooooo farkers....

It should but we are talking meat, not seafood. It should be Pit Beef.

As stated, although seafood is technically "meat"... they didn't consider it meat for this purpose (also unless I missed something, left out chicken anywhere)... this was more a "regional ways to make beef & pork" map.


Sorry I should have been more clear, mammals. Still, MD should have been pit beef, not whatever that crap is they listed, I've lived here 15 years, never heard of it. I can venture 5 mins from my house and get a pit beef sandwich though.
 
2014-03-11 02:28:36 PM
only reason I allow Ontario to stay in Canada...
encrypted-tbn1.gstatic.com
 
2014-03-11 03:04:05 PM

alywa: Living on the TN / NC border is pretty much perfect.  Bacon and pulled pork?  Yep, I can handle that.


As a resident of the area I concur.
 
2014-03-11 03:14:47 PM

ChipNASA: Maryland should be CRAB .yoooooo farkers....


THIS time infinite.
 
2014-03-11 03:25:10 PM

Interceptor1: I'm a native Maryland resident and have never heard of corned ham. This sites information is bogus. Try crabs or oysters. Even chicken would work.


Yeah the author must have never been stuck behind a chicken truck on the eastern shore.
 
2014-03-11 03:29:04 PM
Meatballs for Minnesota? Im okay with that seeing asi have seen at least ne plate of them on every potluck i have ever gone to.
 
2014-03-11 03:43:12 PM

Alassra: So glad that Pennsylvania is ruled by one "sandwich" meat.

:: sighs :: You do realize there is more to the state than Philly? I'm guessing the writer has never visited another part of PA aside from Philly.

That's okay... I'll save my angry face and make something actually delicious.

:)


I was hoping it would be ham loaf.
 
2014-03-11 04:01:45 PM
Shouldn't 'scrapple' belong to Pennsylvania?

How come there isn't a BACON state?
 
2014-03-11 04:04:29 PM

bratface: Shouldn't 'scrapple' belong to Pennsylvania?

How come there isn't a BACON state?


Canada is the bacon state.

/are we a state yet?
//if not wtf not????
 
2014-03-11 04:22:47 PM

Seacop: I'm leaning towards tri-tip for Cali


This.  While awesome Carne Asada is easy to find here in SoCal, it's not a native recipe.

But Santa Barbara style tri-tip is homegrown, and awesome.  It's a far better representative of California meat than goddamned soybean curd.

Another thing I've only seen here is the Hot Pastrami Dip.  Very thinly sliced pastrami steeped in its own juices and piled high on a soft hoagie roll slathered with mustard and dill pickle chips.  Awesome with a side of chili cheese fries and a jumbo unsweetened iced tea.  (OK, you can add one packet of sweetener of your choice if you can't handle the bite...)

I would also nominate the Double-double, Animal Style.  Born here, it's the pinnacle of cheeseburger perfection.

TFA's author phoned in a farking stereotype to select farking Tofu.  Geographically, more of CA is culturally like OK or MO than the endlessly regurgitated surfer-hippy trope.
 
2014-03-11 04:24:55 PM

HMS_Blinkin: You're moving Texas?  The whole state?  I'd like to know your workout regimen,  subby!


Came for Archimedes references. Leaving disappointed.
 
2014-03-11 04:27:18 PM
Iowa: "Loose Meat"

Is that some kinda roundabout euphemism for how Iowans eat out a lot, hint hint?
 
2014-03-11 04:27:27 PM
"Montana has hosted a Rocky Mountain Oyster festival for 32 years and counting, and only Montana has the good linguistic sense to call the festival the Testy Festy."
 
2014-03-11 04:34:40 PM
Beyond the stupidity of breaking just about every rule the author put out for herself, I have to question the idea of saying that one small place in the state that's famous defines the entire state.  Because damned if I've never heard of Kelly's.  Three places up on the North Shore is absolutely not the foundation of what I'd call the most famous meat in the state.

Obviously we should have cod/scrod/etc. as our state meat, but if it has to be non-seafood meat (which is, oh yeah, a rule the author broke in Maine), then I'd say a Number 9 or Steak Bomb from D'Angelos.  There's only like a million of them in this state....

\not to mention how antagonistic it is for the author to antagonize 3/4 of Pennsylvania by picking a Philly thing
 
2014-03-11 04:40:08 PM
Been a lifelong resident of Michigan, and I've never had a Dinty Moore...never have seen one on a menu.  If it's a meat only map, then give Michigan the Coney Island hot dog.  Better yet, allow seafood, and give us smoked whitefish.
 
2014-03-11 04:55:42 PM
Masshole here.  Kelly's is OK, but there's better roast beef to be had.
 
2014-03-11 05:09:39 PM
This guy's a bloody idiot. I've lived in Kentucky my entire life and this is the first time I've even HEARD of lamb fries. I hope it's also the LAST time I hear about them. Gross!

Though milk steak sounds utterly disgusting as well ...
 
2014-03-11 05:14:41 PM
So, roughly speaking, anything west of New Mexico is not worth eating.
 
2014-03-11 05:24:33 PM
Y'all, they're not doing fish or fowl.  Or crawdad.  Or sand.
 
2014-03-11 05:35:31 PM
I'd have to go with Maine:  Surf & Turf. Any kind of seafood and a nice steak (not oversized and done just so that there's a tincture of rose not bloodin the middle) is what I want, dog!

Canadian equivalents (game, game and match):

Newfoundland & Labrador - Newfoundland steak, aka baloney, because the Newfies were poor but sick to death of seafood. I'm just kidding. Seal steak. You can buy traditional Newfoundland seal meat in the can--in Toronto. That's the closest place that is far enough from home for a Newfoundlander to get nostalgic for seal meat. Also fish & brewis (contains hardtack pork and fish)

Nova Scotia - Nova Scotia donair (schwarma)

Prince Edward Island - Meat, potato, two vegs

New Brunswick - Moose steak or venison; Poutine rapée (a meat-stuffed dumpling, no relation to the the Quebec poutine)

Quebec - venison (Caribou is a drink in Quebec), any number of traditional French dishes, poutine with Montreal style smoked meat (pastrami), tourtiere (made with pork since the Passenger Pigeon mysteriously disappeared, Pâte chinois (French for shepherd's pie)

Ontario - Canadian bacon (pea meal bacon), something ethnic from Toronto's enormous range of restaurants, (jerked pork?)

Manitoba - Buffalo, Perogies with bacon and cheese

Saskatchewan - Pemmican (I had to put this somewhere and I can't think of anything distinctive from Saskatchewan), hot chicken sandwich (very Anglo Canadian so I'll put it here as well).

Alberta - Alberta beef, Beefalo, Elk. Calgary ginger beef.

British Columbia - curried beef or lamb, Chinese pork

Yukon Territory - Caribou steak

North West Territories - Whale blubber, cariboo, possibly cooked

Nunuvut Territory - seal, walrus, whale

I owe a great debt to Wikipedia for suggesting most of these, or jogging my memory for many of them. Canadian Living magazine has a list of game dishes that should satisfy discriminating tastes.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Canadian_cuisine#Savoury_foods
 
2014-03-11 06:50:32 PM

loki see loki do: Kentucky is lamb fries? Never heard of 'em.


I've HEARD of them (and unfortunately also seen them in markets), but I'd honestly submit that the REST of the sheep, well barbecued, would be our state meat.  (Come on, we're pretty much the only state well known for mutton barbecue :9)
 
2014-03-11 06:53:32 PM

Belias: This was surprisingly well done.  On that note, why do they call well done steak "well done"?  It's anything but. They should call it "dried out completely, chalky and tasteless - a ruined grey husk"  Anyone ordering it that way should be required to speak that exact description.


A local restaurant, Perrini's Steak House, puts a disclaimer on the menu that says "Not responsible for steak ordered Well-Done."
 
2014-03-11 07:35:53 PM
Chunks McGunks: CruJones: As a current Texas resident, you'd move here for brisket?  I'm a fan, but it doesn't touch pork BBQ.

/I'd be moving to Tennessee for bacon, but they already have Memphis style Q

So much this.  I have no idea how some form of pork BBQ wasn't the choice for Tennessee.  It's the only good food we have in this state.


Bacon is pork
 
2014-03-11 07:43:41 PM

CreepyBasementGuy: idsfa: CreepyBasementGuy: Brisket is one step below eating dog meat.

Corned beef hash says you are an idiot.

LOL. Did you buy that in a can?


The fact that you even consider that an option proves that the corned beef hash was correct.
 
2014-03-11 08:03:34 PM

Oldiron_79: Chunks McGunks: CruJones: As a current Texas resident, you'd move here for brisket?  I'm a fan, but it doesn't touch pork BBQ.

/I'd be moving to Tennessee for bacon, but they already have Memphis style Q

So much this.  I have no idea how some form of pork BBQ wasn't the choice for Tennessee.  It's the only good food we have in this state.

Bacon is pork


Bacon is pork. Bacon is not Memphis style BBQ. Huge difference.
 
2014-03-11 08:58:57 PM

Chunks McGunks: Oldiron_79: Chunks McGunks: CruJones: As a current Texas resident, you'd move here for brisket?  I'm a fan, but it doesn't touch pork BBQ.

/I'd be moving to Tennessee for bacon, but they already have Memphis style Q

So much this.  I have no idea how some form of pork BBQ wasn't the choice for Tennessee.  It's the only good food we have in this state.

Bacon is pork

Bacon is pork. Bacon is not Memphis style BBQ. Huge difference.


The sickeningly sweet sauce and rub on memphis style is an abomination to BBQ. Carolina, Texas, and KC all better.
 
2014-03-11 09:05:44 PM

booty-j: That Guy Jeff: Riiiiiight, Iowa's meat is *beef* based.

Stupid map is stupid, like these stupid maps always are.

I didnt get that either, everyone knows the pork tenderloin sammich is the meat of Iowa.


Agreed.
 
2014-03-11 10:06:51 PM
Hmm, They got Louisiana (my home state) and Texas (my current state) correct, so no complaints here.
I managed to find some decent Andouille here in Austin and made a mean-ass Jambalaya!

So what's the big deal about eating Tongue anyway? Anyone on here every tried it?
 
2014-03-11 10:39:44 PM

Oldiron_79: Chunks McGunks: Oldiron_79: Chunks McGunks: CruJones: As a current Texas resident, you'd move here for brisket?  I'm a fan, but it doesn't touch pork BBQ.

/I'd be moving to Tennessee for bacon, but they already have Memphis style Q

So much this.  I have no idea how some form of pork BBQ wasn't the choice for Tennessee.  It's the only good food we have in this state.

Bacon is pork

Bacon is pork. Bacon is not Memphis style BBQ. Huge difference.

The sickeningly sweet sauce and rub on memphis style is an abomination to BBQ. Carolina, Texas, and KC all better.


I'll just chalk that up to you have strange taste buds and move on.
 
2014-03-11 11:13:56 PM

Chunks McGunks: Oldiron_79: Chunks McGunks: Oldiron_79: Chunks McGunks: CruJones: As a current Texas resident, you'd move here for brisket?  I'm a fan, but it doesn't touch pork BBQ.

/I'd be moving to Tennessee for bacon, but they already have Memphis style Q

So much this.  I have no idea how some form of pork BBQ wasn't the choice for Tennessee.  It's the only good food we have in this state.

Bacon is pork

Bacon is pork. Bacon is not Memphis style BBQ. Huge difference.

The sickeningly sweet sauce and rub on memphis style is an abomination to BBQ. Carolina, Texas, and KC all better.

I'll just chalk that up to you have strange taste buds and move on.


Ill chalk it up to you have a diabeetus sweet tooth and move on.
 
2014-03-11 11:47:52 PM

Chunks McGunks: Oldiron_79: Chunks McGunks: CruJones: As a current Texas resident, you'd move here for brisket?  I'm a fan, but it doesn't touch pork BBQ.

/I'd be moving to Tennessee for bacon, but they already have Memphis style Q

So much this.  I have no idea how some form of pork BBQ wasn't the choice for Tennessee.  It's the only good food we have in this state.

Bacon is pork

Bacon is pork. Bacon is not Memphis style BBQ. Huge difference.


So much this, I didn't even know Tennessee was known for bacon.  Honey glazed ham is pretty popular, I suppose, but nothing compares to a pulled pork sandwich from the Bar-B-Q Shop.

/don't tell Eric, he thinks it's all about the rib tips
//best sauce in town, too
 
2014-03-12 12:13:33 AM

timujin: Chunks McGunks: Oldiron_79: Chunks McGunks: CruJones: As a current Texas resident, you'd move here for brisket?  I'm a fan, but it doesn't touch pork BBQ.

/I'd be moving to Tennessee for bacon, but they already have Memphis style Q

So much this.  I have no idea how some form of pork BBQ wasn't the choice for Tennessee.  It's the only good food we have in this state.

Bacon is pork

Bacon is pork. Bacon is not Memphis style BBQ. Huge difference.

So much this, I didn't even know Tennessee was known for bacon.  Honey glazed ham is pretty popular, I suppose, but nothing compares to a pulled pork sandwich from the Bar-B-Q Shop.

/don't tell Eric, he thinks it's all about the rib tips
//best sauce in town, too


Tom's does have some amazing rib tips. And the dry ribs at rendezvous. And the pulled pork at tops. God I'm getting hungry.

I had no idea Tennessee was associated with bacon either and I've lived here my whole life.
 
Displayed 196 of 196 comments

View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


This thread is closed to new comments.

Continue Farking
Submit a Link »






Report