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(Denver Channel)   Motorists stuck in traffic use man's yard as a restroom. Homeowner has the evidence on streaming video   (thedenverchannel.com) divider line 47
    More: Sick, streaming video, motorists  
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4597 clicks; posted to Main » on 11 Mar 2014 at 9:39 AM (31 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



47 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2014-03-11 09:40:27 AM  
Good one.
 
2014-03-11 09:41:59 AM  
farking prudes.
 
2014-03-11 09:42:11 AM  
YOBAGOYA!

pbs.twimg.com
 
2014-03-11 09:42:22 AM  
I am number 2
 
2014-03-11 09:44:12 AM  
This is why the Lord invented BB guns.  Use pellets for a more accurate shot and help them get some lead in their pencil.
 
2014-03-11 09:47:07 AM  
People aren't peeing there because they want to.  They are making the conscious choice between using their own vehicle as a bathroom or someone else's property.  Naturally, they are inclined to choose someone else's.

Signs and ropes just make it clear that someone else owns the property.  They already know this.  They don't care.  Piss in my car or piss outside my car?  I'll piss outside my car!

Reminds of all the jack-ass runners who turn every marathon into an outdoor toilet.  Why should things like *laws* get in the way of some weekend warrior who'll post some horrible marathon time?  Just do your business on some poor suckers door step!  You've got a race to run.  It is your right!
 
2014-03-11 09:48:29 AM  
"30 minute delays?!"

Is this what constitutes a "major delay" in smaller cities? The beginning of the article made it sound like they were ditching their cars from the wait, not a minor inconvenience.
 
2014-03-11 09:49:23 AM  
He also had the bad luck to bear witness to a bevy of bystanders buffering in his bushes
 
2014-03-11 09:49:46 AM  

Fark_Guy_Rob: People aren't peeing there because they want to.  They are making the conscious choice between using their own vehicle as a bathroom or someone else's property.  Naturally, they are inclined to choose someone else's.

Signs and ropes just make it clear that someone else owns the property.  They already know this.  They don't care.  Piss in my car or piss outside my car?  I'll piss outside my car!

Reminds of all the jack-ass runners who turn every marathon into an outdoor toilet.  Why should things like *laws* get in the way of some weekend warrior who'll post some horrible marathon time?  Just do your business on some poor suckers door step!  You've got a race to run.  It is your right!


Run a hidden wire in all the likely spots and hook it to a fence charger before the race.
 
2014-03-11 09:50:01 AM  

Fark_Guy_Rob: People aren't peeing there because they want to.  They are making the conscious choice between using their own vehicle as a bathroom or someone else's property.  Naturally, they are inclined to choose someone else's.

Signs and ropes just make it clear that someone else owns the property.  They already know this.  They don't care.  Piss in my car or piss outside my car?  I'll piss outside my car!

Reminds of all the jack-ass runners who turn every marathon into an outdoor toilet.  Why should things like *laws* get in the way of some weekend warrior who'll post some horrible marathon time?  Just do your business on some poor suckers door step!  You've got a race to run.  It is your right!


FTFA:
But when you've got to go... well, maybe you don't notice the portable toilets within view of Koch's property.
Instead, people climb over the berm to hide from the highway, facing Koch's picture window to do their business.
 
2014-03-11 09:51:42 AM  
FTA: "Koch and his wife are now trying to catch trespassers on camera to turn them in, because with construction scheduled to last until the end of the year, there is no relief in sight... or rather there's too much."

arrogantass.files.wordpress.com

/Woooo! Double meanings and such!
 
2014-03-11 09:53:06 AM  
"We have million dollar views around here," he said, wistfully.

Million dollars views that include wall-to-wall traffic running right next to his house, apparently.
Doesn't excuse the peeing and/or pooping, though. That is not cool.
 
2014-03-11 09:54:14 AM  

Private_Citizen: Fark_Guy_Rob: People aren't peeing there because they want to.  They are making the conscious choice between using their own vehicle as a bathroom or someone else's property.  Naturally, they are inclined to choose someone else's.

Signs and ropes just make it clear that someone else owns the property.  They already know this.  They don't care.  Piss in my car or piss outside my car?  I'll piss outside my car!

Reminds of all the jack-ass runners who turn every marathon into an outdoor toilet.  Why should things like *laws* get in the way of some weekend warrior who'll post some horrible marathon time?  Just do your business on some poor suckers door step!  You've got a race to run.  It is your right!

Run a hidden wire in all the likely spots and hook it to a fence charger before the race.


Except you are about 100x more likely to get prosecuted for such an act than the people who are using your house as an outdoor toilet.
 
2014-03-11 09:56:00 AM  

Fark_Guy_Rob: Private_Citizen: Fark_Guy_Rob: People aren't peeing there because they want to.  They are making the conscious choice between using their own vehicle as a bathroom or someone else's property.  Naturally, they are inclined to choose someone else's.

Signs and ropes just make it clear that someone else owns the property.  They already know this.  They don't care.  Piss in my car or piss outside my car?  I'll piss outside my car!

Reminds of all the jack-ass runners who turn every marathon into an outdoor toilet.  Why should things like *laws* get in the way of some weekend warrior who'll post some horrible marathon time?  Just do your business on some poor suckers door step!  You've got a race to run.  It is your right!

Run a hidden wire in all the likely spots and hook it to a fence charger before the race.

Except you are about 100x more likely to get prosecuted for such an act than the people who are using your house as an outdoor toilet.


What wire? I think that runner is delusional. And he should get that swelling looked at.
 
2014-03-11 09:58:06 AM  
Eh, if you have to go you have to go.
 
2014-03-11 09:59:38 AM  
Set up cameras that post directly to the web. A lot of people are into that kind of thing (so I've heard).
 
2014-03-11 10:01:08 AM  
Private_Citizen: Fark_Guy_Rob: People aren't peeing there because they want to.  They are making the conscious choice between using their own vehicle as a bathroom or someone else's property.  Naturally, they are inclined to choose someone else's.

Signs and ropes just make it clear that someone else owns the property.  They already know this.  They don't care.  Piss in my car or piss outside my car?  I'll piss outside my car!

Reminds of all the jack-ass runners who turn every marathon into an outdoor toilet.  Why should things like *laws* get in the way of some weekend warrior who'll post some horrible marathon time?  Just do your business on some poor suckers door step!  You've got a race to run.  It is your right!


Or...how about get the fark over it. It won't hurt anything
 
2014-03-11 10:02:00 AM  
Electric woven fencing. Hook it up to a solar charged battery. Lay it down all around.
You pee crooked for a week after.
 
2014-03-11 10:02:42 AM  

Fark_Guy_Rob: Except you are about 100x more likely to get prosecuted for such an act than the people who are using your house as an outdoor toilet.


Not if you have sheep, goats, etc.
 
2014-03-11 10:06:03 AM  

Fark_Guy_Rob: Reminds of all the jack-ass runners who turn every marathon into an outdoor toilet.  Why should things like *laws* get in the way of some weekend warrior who'll post some horrible marathon time?  Just do your business on some poor suckers door step!  You've got a race to run.  It is your right!


Reminds me of a cohort in college.  He was running in a intramural college running event.  He woke up late, and being one of those guys who likes to take his dump first thing in the morning, wasnt able to unload.  He barely got there in time.

The event starts off and about halfway though, he just cant take it any more and has to unload, so
he hops into the woods to take a shiat.  Pulls his shorts back up and back to the race.  80% of the way in, he comes to realize he was not able to fully unload, and now has to go again.   It is very close to the end of the race though, and he can't afford to stop and hop in the woods again.  So he just craps his pants while he is running.

He continues on and is able to win the race.  We gave him a hard time and said the guys behind him probably had a hard time breathing.  He had to stand around for a bit, which I am sure while you have shiat in your pants, would make you self conscious.  He collected his trophy and came back to the dorm.

He said when he hit the shower, just the water hitting his back and then hitting his ass felt like acid burning his butt hole.   I didn't ask what the actual cleaning of the between the cheeks must have felt like.

Now you bastards should know why it isn't a good idea to let your kids sit in a crap diaper and pretend you didn't notice it and wait for mom to find it.
 
2014-03-11 10:09:16 AM  
What a pisser.
 
2014-03-11 10:20:53 AM  

Fark_Guy_Rob: Private_Citizen: Fark_Guy_Rob: People aren't peeing there because they want to.  They are making the conscious choice between using their own vehicle as a bathroom or someone else's property.  Naturally, they are inclined to choose someone else's.

Signs and ropes just make it clear that someone else owns the property.  They already know this.  They don't care.  Piss in my car or piss outside my car?  I'll piss outside my car!

Reminds of all the jack-ass runners who turn every marathon into an outdoor toilet.  Why should things like *laws* get in the way of some weekend warrior who'll post some horrible marathon time?  Just do your business on some poor suckers door step!  You've got a race to run.  It is your right!

Run a hidden wire in all the likely spots and hook it to a fence charger before the race.

Except you are about 100x more likely to get prosecuted for such an act than the people who are using your house as an outdoor toilet.


Heard this story of a guy who just had to go.
I mean REALLY had to go.

Tried to hide in a private property and take care of #2.
Home owner stands there with a gun...points it at him...and makes him eat it.

The guy got sick, sued the propert owner and actually won.
I think the court even mentioned if he was shot as a trespasser, the home owner would have been fine (can't remember which state). But making him eat the crap was unlawful.

Moral of the story?
Some things are just worth it.
 
2014-03-11 10:22:28 AM  
In other news.  Owner thinks a No Parking symbol is a No Peeing symbol
 
msP
2014-03-11 10:28:21 AM  
I don't know what the laws are in Colorado but if this happened in Florida, you could shoot someone for doing this and totally get away with it.

I bet that comment just shocked no one.
 
2014-03-11 10:30:10 AM  
Suppose the porta-potties are all in use, full or broken? And suppose the people really do really have to go? I'm not a homeowner but something tells me it wouldn't bother me too much, especially if they make some effort not to be seen from my window. But then I've got two dogs to walk, so maybe my perspective is different.

So I'd offer two pieces of advice: try not to piss on the same bush/flower in the same spot everybody else did, and pick up your poop in a plastic bag, tie it shut, and deposit it in the convenient solid waste can conveniently provided for your convenience. I.e. show the homeowner the same consideration you'd like dog owners to show you.

Around here my dog gets to hear things like "No! Don't pee there! That's a tomato plant!" We'll take a few steps and he aims at a maple or something. And only one person has ever objected to me putting my dog's solid waste bag in their solid waste can and she was a raving loon, hollering and cussing and acting like a maniac, so I doubt that was her only problem that day. I only use trash bins that are easily visible from the street, the closer to the street the better, and a place with a dog in the house or yard is preferable to one without. As to the practice itself, in good weather my dog walks can stretch for three or four miles, and you're supposed to pick it up, not carry it around all day.

And by the way, if the worst thing that's happened to you all day is somebody "going" in your yard you live a very charmed life.
 
2014-03-11 10:38:37 AM  

doubled99: Private_Citizen: Fark_Guy_Rob: People aren't peeing there because they want to.  They are making the conscious choice between using their own vehicle as a bathroom or someone else's property.  Naturally, they are inclined to choose someone else's.

Signs and ropes just make it clear that someone else owns the property.  They already know this.  They don't care.  Piss in my car or piss outside my car?  I'll piss outside my car!

Reminds of all the jack-ass runners who turn every marathon into an outdoor toilet.  Why should things like *laws* get in the way of some weekend warrior who'll post some horrible marathon time?  Just do your business on some poor suckers door step!  You've got a race to run.  It is your right!

Or...how about get the fark over it. It won't hurt anything


this
 
2014-03-11 11:12:56 AM  
In several states, these people could end up being sex offenders by peeing in public.
 
2014-03-11 11:14:12 AM  

GanjSmokr: In several states, these people could end up being sex offenders by peeing in public.


Iowa is one.
 
2014-03-11 11:27:20 AM  

Nutsac_Jim: This is why the Lord invented BB guns.  Use pellets for a more accurate shot and help them get some lead in their pencil.


:-)
 
2014-03-11 12:00:46 PM  
|  "We have million dollar views around here," he said, wistfully.

Because he's a Koch. Fark him.
 
2014-03-11 12:09:26 PM  

Resident Muslim: Fark_Guy_Rob: Private_Citizen: Fark_Guy_Rob: People aren't peeing there because they want to.  They are making the conscious choice between using their own vehicle as a bathroom or someone else's property.  Naturally, they are inclined to choose someone else's.

Signs and ropes just make it clear that someone else owns the property.  They already know this.  They don't care.  Piss in my car or piss outside my car?  I'll piss outside my car!

Reminds of all the jack-ass runners who turn every marathon into an outdoor toilet.  Why should things like *laws* get in the way of some weekend warrior who'll post some horrible marathon time?  Just do your business on some poor suckers door step!  You've got a race to run.  It is your right!

Run a hidden wire in all the likely spots and hook it to a fence charger before the race.

Except you are about 100x more likely to get prosecuted for such an act than the people who are using your house as an outdoor toilet.

Heard this story of a guy who just had to go.
I mean REALLY had to go.

Tried to hide in a private property and take care of #2.
Home owner stands there with a gun...points it at him...and makes him eat it.

The guy got sick, sued the propert owner and actually won.
I think the court even mentioned if he was shot as a trespasser, the home owner would have been fine (can't remember which state). But making him eat the crap was unlawful.

Moral of the story?
Some things are just worth it.


Some people will make up stories.
 
2014-03-11 12:26:08 PM  
It was right there for you, subby, and you played it perfectly.

+1
 
2014-03-11 01:00:37 PM  
I've been in a situation where I had little choice but to piss in someones yard. I suppose I could have just pissed in my pants, but I was going to a concert and didn't want to deal with that. I was met by an angry homeowner with a gun. I stopped mid-stream, apologized,  and got the hell out of there. Being in a shady part of L.A. it probably wasn't the best place to take a piss, but I didn't see any alternative.
 
2014-03-11 01:10:20 PM  

untaken_name: Good one.


...or two.
 
2014-03-11 01:11:53 PM  

Gilligann: I've been in a situation where I had little choice but to piss in someones yard. I suppose I could have just pissed in my pants, but I was going to a concert and didn't want to deal with that. I was met by an angry homeowner with a gun. I stopped mid-stream, apologized,  and got the hell out of there. Being in a shady part of L.A. it probably wasn't the best place to take a piss, but I didn't see any alternative.


Was there a Grand Am in the garage?
 
2014-03-11 01:35:29 PM  
ts2.mm.bing.net
Just wait till there pants are down.
 
hej
2014-03-11 01:48:11 PM  
Subby seems to have an amazingly low bar for the sick tag.
 
2014-03-11 01:48:17 PM  
I like the sprinkler idea, maybe coupled with a remote speaker;
"Hey Dumbass! There's a Kybo a hunert' yards to the north!  Stop pooping in my yard!"
 
2014-03-11 02:46:08 PM  
Thank goodness it's not STEAMING video.
 
2014-03-11 03:11:14 PM  
Rock-salt in the 12 gauge does wonders.
 
2014-03-11 03:49:31 PM  

The Southern Dandy: Thank goodness it's not STEAMING video.


That's actually how I read it the first time.

/my eyes are fine...
 
2014-03-11 04:10:34 PM  
Were this my yard, I would do three things.

First, I would rent a Port-a-Potty, run a buried 240V line to the middle of my yard and obtain a fundraising permit from the city.

Second, I would rent a vending machine. The nice kind, with snacks and drinks. I would also stock baby diapers, bottled water and some other stuck-in-traffic essentials. And I'd order one of those really good ashtray/trash cans from the U-Line catalog.

Third, I would put out a donation box for the local SPCA next to the Port-a-Potty, then hang up a large board with pictures of the adoptable animals and their names. (I would go to the shelter and take said pictures personally.)

Then I'd take any profits from the vending machine and donation box TO said SPCA, then deduct the cost of the rentals, trash can and stock from my taxes. If there was any litter surrounding the little charitable venture, I would ask the city to please send over anyone who needed community-service hours and some nice teenager who'd made a mistake could help me with the maintenance.

...It's really kind of awesome to not have an HOA. Whenever the marathons go by, I invite the Girl Scouts to sell cookies and the SPCA to hand out water with their donation cups. I haven't had to mow my lawn since I bought the place.
 
2014-03-11 05:21:32 PM  
How about an electric fence?
 
2014-03-11 06:20:45 PM  

vudukungfu: Gilligann: I've been in a situation where I had little choice but to piss in someones yard. I suppose I could have just pissed in my pants, but I was going to a concert and didn't want to deal with that. I was met by an angry homeowner with a gun. I stopped mid-stream, apologized,  and got the hell out of there. Being in a shady part of L.A. it probably wasn't the best place to take a piss, but I didn't see any alternative.

Was there a Grand Am in the garage?


Probably an old Cadillac
 
2014-03-11 08:12:37 PM  

SpiderQueenDemon: Were this my yard, I would do three things.

First, I would rent a Port-a-Potty, run a buried 240V line to the middle of my yard and obtain a fundraising permit from the city.

Second, I would rent a vending machine. The nice kind, with snacks and drinks. I would also stock baby diapers, bottled water and some other stuck-in-traffic essentials. And I'd order one of those really good ashtray/trash cans from the U-Line catalog.

Third, I would put out a donation box for the local SPCA next to the Port-a-Potty, then hang up a large board with pictures of the adoptable animals and their names. (I would go to the shelter and take said pictures personally.)

Then I'd take any profits from the vending machine and donation box TO said SPCA, then deduct the cost of the rentals, trash can and stock from my taxes. If there was any litter surrounding the little charitable venture, I would ask the city to please send over anyone who needed community-service hours and some nice teenager who'd made a mistake could help me with the maintenance.

...It's really kind of awesome to not have an HOA. Whenever the marathons go by, I invite the Girl Scouts to sell cookies and the SPCA to hand out water with their donation cups. I haven't had to mow my lawn since I bought the place.


I wasn't thinking as elaborate but, yeah, there's money there somewhere.
 
2014-03-12 12:22:12 AM  

SpiderQueenDemon: Were this my yard, I would do three things.

First, I would rent a Port-a-Potty, run a buried 240V line to the middle of my yard and obtain a fundraising permit from the city.

Second, I would rent a vending machine. The nice kind, with snacks and drinks. I would also stock baby diapers, bottled water and some other stuck-in-traffic essentials. And I'd order one of those really good ashtray/trash cans from the U-Line catalog.

Third, I would put out a donation box for the local SPCA next to the Port-a-Potty, then hang up a large board with pictures of the adoptable animals and their names. (I would go to the shelter and take said pictures personally.)

Then I'd take any profits from the vending machine and donation box TO said SPCA, then deduct the cost of the rentals, trash can and stock from my taxes. If there was any litter surrounding the little charitable venture, I would ask the city to please send over anyone who needed community-service hours and some nice teenager who'd made a mistake could help me with the maintenance.

...It's really kind of awesome to not have an HOA. Whenever the marathons go by, I invite the Girl Scouts to sell cookies and the SPCA to hand out water with their donation cups. I haven't had to mow my lawn since I bought the place.


STOP MAKING SENSE
 
2014-03-12 11:48:47 AM  
How hard is it for them to use the restroom before they know they'll be on a stretch of road for a solid 90 minutes?

If you have issues with a tiny bladder/colon, then you need to invest in some Depends. Or hell, maybe even pay attention to the portapotties conveniently placed just for you.
 
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