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(Mirror.co.uk)   Ten things you need to know about the Brazilian wandering spider... You know in case the world's deadliest spider wanders your way   (mirror.co.uk ) divider line
    More: Interesting, Brazilians, Brazilian wandering spider, the Brazilian  
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12821 clicks; posted to Main » on 10 Mar 2014 at 9:43 PM (2 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



116 Comments     (+0 »)
 
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2014-03-10 10:39:45 PM  
Has anyone mentioned the unwanted erection yet?
 
gja
2014-03-10 10:40:23 PM  

Cork on Fork: Scientists are hoping they can use the spider's venom in erectile dysfunction medication.

is there anything we won't try to make into a boner pill? Are there no more pressing problems to address?


Nothing springs to mind.
It seems to keep popping up.
It.....ah, nevermind....
 
2014-03-10 10:42:07 PM  

Watubi: Has anyone mentioned the unwanted erection yet?


That's what she said.
 
2014-03-10 10:42:32 PM  

MNguy: Suckmaster Burstingfoam: MNguy: Suckmaster Burstingfoam: You all know you can just whack a spider with a shoe and it dies, right?

Sure.  These little farkers are hiding in your shoe though.

Shoes come in pairs problem solved

They are in both the shoes.  Both.


s22.postimg.org

Mwa ha ha ha!
 
2014-03-10 10:42:56 PM  
Imagine a bunch of drunken Farkers wandering naked in the jungle trying to get bit on the dingus
 
2014-03-10 10:44:05 PM  
TIL the most venomous spider in the world isn't from Australia.
 
2014-03-10 10:45:02 PM  
Brazilian wandering spiders?

Is that a lot?
 
2014-03-10 10:46:41 PM  

BluVeinThrobber: Imagine a bunch of drunken Farkers wandering naked in the jungle trying to get bit on the dingus


shiat, they can do that at home and save the airfare.
 
2014-03-10 10:47:53 PM  
I braved a spider thread for MGS3 references.  Expressing my disappointment, leaving a screenshot, and running away very, very quickly.

img1.wikia.nocookie.net

/THE FEEEAAAAAAAAARRRRR!
 
2014-03-10 10:48:05 PM  

Prey4reign: 8. The spider's bite can cause an unwanted erection in men, sometimes lasting for four hours.


What is this unwanted erection you speak of Alex Wynick?  All of my four hour boners are wanted, if not celebrated around my house.


What if it happens after your daughter has convinced to join her tea party or play dress up...
 
2014-03-10 10:49:38 PM  

Cork on Fork: Scientists are hoping they can use the spider's venom in erectile dysfunction medication.

is there anything we won't try to make into a boner pill? Are there no more pressing problems to address?


It is the essence of man
 
gja
2014-03-10 10:50:30 PM  

pedrop357: Prey4reign: 8. The spider's bite can cause an unwanted erection in men, sometimes lasting for four hours.


What is this unwanted erection you speak of Alex Wynick?  All of my four hour boners are wanted, if not celebrated around my house.

What if it happens after your daughter has convinced to join her tea party or play dress up...


I guess that means you'll be moving to The Castro.
 
2014-03-10 10:51:37 PM  
I am glad to see the word "poisonous" not bandied about here instead of "venomous". Well done, all.
 
2014-03-10 10:51:52 PM  

MNguy: Suckmaster Burstingfoam: MNguy: Suckmaster Burstingfoam: You all know you can just whack a spider with a shoe and it dies, right?

Sure.  These little farkers are hiding in your shoe though.

Shoes come in pairs problem solved

They are in both the shoes.  Both.


I also have workboots. And nothing can survive in them.
 
2014-03-10 10:52:15 PM  

Suckmaster Burstingfoam: You all know you can just whack a spider with a shoe and it dies, right?


Damn right! A size 11 Florsheim black wingtip and I'm in the spider killin' bidness.
Give me a pair of em' and I'll be Fred Freaking Spidey Stompin Motherfarking Got Dam Astaire.
 
433 [TotalFark]
2014-03-10 10:53:33 PM  
 
2014-03-10 10:54:09 PM  

Suckmaster Burstingfoam: BluVeinThrobber: Imagine a bunch of drunken Farkers wandering naked in the jungle trying to get bit on the dingus

shiat, they can do that at home and save the airfare.


Not enough spiders
 
2014-03-10 10:55:56 PM  

Watubi: Has anyone mentioned the unwanted erection yet?


I had an unwanted erection once when I was a freshman in high school.  It was not a good time or place for it.  It wasn't long after that experience that I realized I had nothing to be embarrassed of.  If a get a boner at work, it's just how things are.  Maybe it's God's work.  Maybe it's the position of the planets.  It's about as stupid as worrying over an "unwanted" pimple.  At some point you realize that this thing sticking out from your body just needs popped.  And you'll need to clean up some white, goopy stuff.  But as to the pimple, you should let it run it's course.
 
2014-03-10 11:01:11 PM  
don't get the spider loathing - esp since i'd bet a few of you are a-ok eating certain seafood that is at least as alien

i confess, when finding spiders in the yard (generally crab and banana spiders) I will often relocate them - spiders are okay but I really hate a face-full of web which happens once or twice a month
 
2014-03-10 11:02:07 PM  
demotivationalpost.com
 
433 [TotalFark]
2014-03-10 11:03:34 PM  

parasol: I really hate a face-full of web which happens once or twice a month


I like seeing other people walk into spider webs.  I don't like not seeing a spider web when I walk into it.

It seems, though, that once explained, everyone present is understanding of the dilemma.
 
2014-03-10 11:05:13 PM  
And they have to be wandering spiders.  Can't just build a web and stay put.  No, they have to roam around and sneak up on you.  This is why I like poisonous chemicals so much.
 
2014-03-10 11:08:08 PM  

gja: /sweet dreams......


Reading this as I'm sitting on the pot. Thanks, ass.
 
2014-03-10 11:11:33 PM  
Remember guys, spiders are the only things that keep feminism in check.
 
433 [TotalFark]
2014-03-10 11:12:58 PM  

bighairyguy: Remember guys, spiders are the only things that keep feminism in check.


You forgot about mice, jars of pickles, and the Standard Transmission.
 
2014-03-10 11:13:09 PM  

jst07: Reading this as I'm sitting on the pot. Thanks, ass.


You're very polite. After sitting, I usually forget to thank my ass.
 
2014-03-10 11:13:55 PM  
I was bit by a black widow when I was 21 and living in San Bernardino. Woke up with a weird lump on my leg. It started to ache more throughout the day so I sliced it open with a utility knife blade I heated up with a bic lighter. The worse part was I could not drink for a week while on antibiotics.
 
2014-03-10 11:14:01 PM  
Isn't this a cute little face hugger I mean sea spider.

www.fossilsonline.com
 
2014-03-10 11:14:01 PM  

asynchron: I like how the things we "need" to know about these spiders included very little about... Oh, say... How to identify them?


Well, for one thing, they all speak Portuguese.
 
2014-03-10 11:18:40 PM  
I thought this was a new anti-Brazilian-wax trend.
 
2014-03-10 11:23:31 PM  

bighairyguy: Remember guys, spiders are the only things that keep feminism in check.


Unless, you're talking about black widow spiders; those hot mommas don't fark around with the males who get lucky with them.
 
2014-03-10 11:23:42 PM  

CygnusDarius: And said the band was better when Gary Cherone was there


He's a terrible person. Team Van Hagar! *flees thread*
 
gja
2014-03-10 11:25:27 PM  
I call BS. If those are Brazilian spiders why are they so hairy?
 
2014-03-10 11:28:17 PM  

433: [dailypicksandflicks.com image 600x374]
CLICK IT. CLICK IT.  CLICK IT!


Meh. Harvestmen. Not really spiders, and completely harmless.
 
2014-03-10 11:29:38 PM  
i.imgur.com
 
2014-03-10 11:30:22 PM  

gja: I call BS. If those are Brazilian spiders why are they so hairy?


Are you going to wax them?
 
2014-03-10 11:31:47 PM  
www.solent-renegades.co.uk
You're welcome
 
2014-03-10 11:32:30 PM  

Dadoody: [i.imgur.com image 850x541]


Is that going in or coming out?
 
2014-03-10 11:43:41 PM  

ybishop: [www.solent-renegades.co.uk image 500x659]
You're welcome


Napalm is my solution.

Failing that, nuke it from orbit.
 
2014-03-10 11:47:11 PM  

Prey4reign: 8. The spider's bite can cause an unwanted erection in men, sometimes lasting for four hours.


What is this unwanted erection you speak of Alex Wynick?  All of my four hour boners are wanted, if not celebrated around my house.


Never waste a hard-on
 
2014-03-10 11:49:37 PM  
Oh well, I'm the type of spider who will never settle down
Where pretty girls are well, you know that I'm around
I kiss 'em and I bite 'em 'cause to me they're all the same
I hug 'em and I squeeze 'em they don't even know my name

They call me the Brazilian wandering spider
Yeah, the Brazilian wandering spider
I roam around, around, around
 
2014-03-10 11:52:28 PM  
The only thing I learned from this article is: Do not buy bananas.
 
2014-03-10 11:56:36 PM  

Mister Peejay: It roams around and around and around and around and around and around...


Damn you.
 
2014-03-10 11:59:59 PM  
I wonder how these spiders would react to psychoactive drugs?
 
2014-03-11 12:00:01 AM  
Go Packers!
 
2014-03-11 12:17:51 AM  
Where can I get one of these spiders?
Asking for a friend
 
2014-03-11 12:22:28 AM  

433: CLICK IT. CLICK IT.  CLICK IT!


ARRGGGGHHHH!

Why do I make such poor life choices like clicking on that link that I KNEW would be horrible??
 
2014-03-11 12:41:11 AM  
I don't need to know anything about this farking spider, or any other spider for that matter. Son of a biatch. Someone even posted a clown spider months ago. God damnit!
 
2014-03-11 12:42:04 AM  

Dadoody: [i.imgur.com image 850x541]


It is hard to tell from that angle, but if that picture was being realistic about arachnid sex, the spider would be fisting her.
 
2014-03-11 12:43:42 AM  
I do not need to see anything having to do with spiders, ever, especially clown-spiders.
 
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