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(Florida Today)   Alabama man posts video of his Florida adventure on Facebook: "hahaha...in my debue as tayla the manatee slaya...im f---- ready to cannonball on every manatee living yewwww" Jailarity ensues   (floridatoday.com) divider line 81
    More: Florida, Alabama Man, Alabama, Facebook, U.S. Department of Justice  
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10479 clicks; posted to Main » on 08 Mar 2014 at 5:20 PM (19 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



81 Comments   (+0 »)
   
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2014-03-08 02:04:44 PM
Nice one.
 
2014-03-08 02:14:05 PM
Because nothing says rocket scientist like a white boy talking ghetto.
 
2014-03-08 02:17:01 PM

Speaker2Animals: Because nothing says rocket scientist like a white boy talking ghetto.


That "yewwww" is classic Alabama Man though.
 
2014-03-08 03:50:00 PM
Get ready gentlemen; You're about to be anally raped by the Judicial System.  They love to make examples out of idiots like you.
 
2014-03-08 04:01:08 PM

queezyweezel: Get ready gentlemen; You're about to be anally raped by the Judicial System.  They love to make examples out of idiots like you.


Yeah you've got ignorant out of state dumbasses who bragged about it on Facebook. Even the judges that don't give a shiat about manatees will hate these guys.
 
2014-03-08 04:05:22 PM
Hahaha.. git ready for your debue as tayla the example! Yeewwww!
 
2014-03-08 04:12:05 PM
Oh wow, they're in federal court even. Well done, tayla!
 
2014-03-08 05:22:20 PM
This must be one of those things that existed for decades before social media came along.  Kinda like cow tipping.
 
2014-03-08 05:22:53 PM
Is his name Ted Nugent by chance?
 
2014-03-08 05:24:06 PM
www.rottenecards.com
 
2014-03-08 05:24:22 PM
Well, they just learned an expensive lesson about being dicks.
 
2014-03-08 05:25:21 PM
24.media.tumblr.com
 
2014-03-08 05:30:41 PM
OH THE HUGE...

Never mind.
 
2014-03-08 05:32:56 PM
So wait, it is a Federal offense to deliberately misspell words now?

OH THANK GOD ***FINALLY***
 
2014-03-08 05:34:03 PM

FuzedBox: Well, they just learned an expensive lesson about being dicks.


They're gonna learn aloooot about dicks where they're going.
 
2014-03-08 05:37:14 PM
i1126.photobucket.com
 
2014-03-08 05:38:24 PM
What's the over/under on this being part of a pattern of animal cruelty and violent, impulsive behavior?
 
2014-03-08 05:41:11 PM
i.imgur.com
 
2014-03-08 05:42:20 PM
theoutlawlife.files.wordpress.com
 
2014-03-08 05:42:55 PM

Arachnophobe: [i1126.photobucket.com image 400x400]


Why did I burst out laughing at that?
 
2014-03-08 05:43:30 PM

AGremlin: [24.media.tumblr.com image 320x240]


Came for this.  Thanks!
 
2014-03-08 05:43:33 PM
Maybe they can join the former Boy Scout "leaders" who pushed over that rock. Hopefully they won't try a similar defense. "Uh, you see your honor, my clients were, uh, chasing away the vicious manatee before it attacked an innocent child. Yeah, that's it."
 
2014-03-08 05:43:55 PM

dv-ous: What's the over/under on this being part of a pattern of animal cruelty and violent, impulsive behavior?


Well they already sais 'Alabama' so that's all you need to know.
 
2014-03-08 05:44:05 PM
They're lucky I didn't find them first.
 
2014-03-08 05:45:54 PM
There's nothing that says "tough guy" as much as messing with one of the most docile creatures on the planet.  Do a cannonball on an alligator next time.
 
2014-03-08 05:46:31 PM

jwookie: FuzedBox: Well, they just learned an expensive lesson about being dicks.

They're gonna learn aloooot about dicks where they're going.


If they close their eyes real tight, they can pretend they're still cannonballing a manatee.

/drop the first two and last two syllables from the phrase "cannonballing a manatee" and they'd actually be more or less correct
 
2014-03-08 05:49:06 PM

AGremlin: [24.media.tumblr.com image 320x240]


Came for Alabama Man reference.  Well done.

Alabama MAAAUNNN!!!  He's quick, he's strong, he's actiiiive!
When nagging wife asks him where he's been, press the action button and Alabama Man busts her lip open!
"Shut up biatch!"
"Woooowww!"
 
2014-03-08 05:49:45 PM

EdgeRunner: jwookie: FuzedBox: Well, they just learned an expensive lesson about being dicks.

They're gonna learn aloooot about dicks where they're going.

If they close their eyes real tight, they can pretend they're still cannonballing a manatee.

/drop the first two and last two syllables from the phrase "cannonballing a manatee" and they'd actually be more or less correct


Something tells me they're more catcher than pitcher.
 
2014-03-08 05:50:40 PM

Confabulat: Oh wow, they're in federal court even. Well done, tayla!


Yeah, farking with an endangered species is a one-way ticket to feds.  I don't get the light-ass penalty though,
 
2014-03-08 05:51:55 PM

Confabulat: queezyweezel: Get ready gentlemen; You're about to be anally raped by the Judicial System.  They love to make examples out of idiots like you.

Yeah you've got ignorant out of state dumbasses who bragged about it on Facebook. Even the judges that don't give a shiat about manatees will hate these guys.


I'll put on a strap on and give these dumb f*cks a preview.
Manatee are incredibly loving creatures, and very gentle.
 
2014-03-08 05:55:00 PM
Y'know, as annoying as I find social media in general, it's wonderful as a Dumbass Trap. And, because they're dumbasses, they'll *never* learn not to post criminal shiat on Facebook, or Youtube, or Twitter, or whatthefarkever.
 
2014-03-08 05:57:29 PM
whatculture.com

Yewwww!
 
2014-03-08 06:01:30 PM
No prison time on this please. It'll just be wasted taxpayer money to house and feed them. Instead:

1. ankle monitor for 1 year
2. $5k fine, each
3. 500 hours community service to be done with Florida Fish and Wildlife

/they should be slogging through the streams and swamps picking up litter
//in the summer heat and humidity
///along with 5 brazilian mosquitoes
 
2014-03-08 06:02:13 PM
If the manatees were armed, this never would have happened.
 
gja [TotalFark]
2014-03-08 06:03:27 PM
This guy's smarter brother knew enough to stay on the porch and practice playing.

"Ya know whut? Y'all can go mess wit dem critters. I be rih'cheer when y'all git back"
encrypted-tbn2.gstatic.com
 
2014-03-08 06:07:53 PM
i294.photobucket.com
 
2014-03-08 06:09:23 PM

Munchkin City Coroner: [whatculture.com image 500x250]

Yewwww!


What does a Dugong need a star ship for?
 
2014-03-08 06:09:29 PM

queezyweezel: Get ready gentlemen; You're about to be anally raped by the Judicial System.  They love to make examples out of idiots like you.


I suspect the judicial system is just first in line to anally rape him. The subsequent rapes will be less metaphorical.
 
2014-03-08 06:10:45 PM
harassing two creatures which aren't posing any danger ... and are actually quite cute?  Morons.  Never fark with the cute species.  Go "cannonball" some alligators, problem will take care of itself.
 
2014-03-08 06:12:36 PM

Mister Peejay: So wait, it is a Federal offense to deliberately misspell words now?

OH THANK GOD ***FINALLY***


I initially assumed he'd been arrested for crimes against the English language.
 
2014-03-08 06:15:31 PM
www.therisetothetop.com
 
2014-03-08 06:17:08 PM
My 'tarded CSB:
I just got back from the keys a few weeks ago and the restaurant I ended up in several times was a dockside Tiki place that was frequented by a Manatee that was easily bigger than a Buick.
The first time it leisurely swam past by my table I reflexively yelled out "OH THE HUGE MANATEE" and immediately all the little kids in place starting yelling the same.
It was like an IRL Fark thread.

/Some fat drunk asshole from the deep south almost ruined my stay as well..
/Island fish company in Marathon, average food with a view.
 
2014-03-08 06:29:21 PM
Wait a minute, don't manatees weigh like a thousand pounds? Wasn't this a terrible idea just from the physics of it, the legality and dickishness aside?
 
2014-03-08 06:30:12 PM

gas giant: My 'tarded CSB:
I just got back from the keys a few weeks ago and the restaurant I ended up in several times was a dockside Tiki place that was frequented by a Manatee that was easily bigger than a Buick.
The first time it leisurely swam past by my table I reflexively yelled out "OH THE HUGE MANATEE" and immediately all the little kids in place starting yelling the same.
It was like an IRL Fark thread.

/Some fat drunk asshole from the deep south almost ruined my stay as well..
/Island fish company in Marathon, average food with a view.


Next time I'm visiting fam down south florida way, I'll have to check this place out. and If I see a fat, drunk asshole, other than myself, I'll be sure to shame them.
 
2014-03-08 06:33:38 PM

Ryker's Peninsula: There's nothing that says "tough guy" as much as messing with one of the most docile creatures on the planet.  Do a cannonball on an alligator next time.


I'm a huge supporter of leaving animals alone, but I wouldn't even be mad if someone did that. That's basically fair.

/the handicap is not on the gator's side, anyway
 
2014-03-08 06:34:55 PM
Can we just drop something the size of a manatee on these idiots?  It'd save the taxpayers money!
 
2014-03-08 06:36:42 PM

dv-ous: What's the over/under on this being part of a pattern of animal cruelty and violent, impulsive behavior?


people that do stuff like this are much more likely to be sociopaths.
 
2014-03-08 06:37:55 PM
Seriously? Cannonballing onto a Manatee? Probably the worlds most peaceful and least harmful animal you could ever see, and you, being the man you are, and have to prove yourself, dive on one in a fit of testicular flexation. Way to go, you are the man. Sure you could have jumped on a wild lion, or a grizzly bear to prove your balls are large and hanging, but no, you're the type to take that one extra step to harass a creature that cannot defend itself.
You Sir, have accomplished nothing but prove you are a simpering mincing pussy who's only accomplishment in life, is to post a video of himself injuring a helpless animal.


/slow....clap.....
 
2014-03-08 06:38:32 PM
Christ, we have enough stupid here.  Spare us the Southerners from here on out at least.  No Bammers, "Jawjuhns," Lesser Carolinians, or Mississipistanis, at least.

Hope they get to play Drop the Soap for a while.
 
2014-03-08 06:39:11 PM

Mitrovarr: Wait a minute, don't manatees weigh like a thousand pounds? Wasn't this a terrible idea just from the physics of it, the legality and dickishness aside?


If the average human had a lick of common sense, this website, among the majority of others, would not exist.
 
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