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1982 clicks; posted to FarkUs » on 08 Mar 2014 at 8:30 AM (3 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2014-03-08 12:20:22 AM  
img2.wikia.nocookie.net
 
2014-03-08 12:26:51 AM  
The no-makeup thing, sure. Even a day or two without washing the hair.

But the rest? See the bear pic above^.
 
2014-03-08 01:25:37 AM  

strangeluck: [img2.wikia.nocookie.net image 600x358]


Thirded...
 
2014-03-08 02:19:26 AM  
One thing's for sure: we'll never truly understand the things that turn guys on. ....And now, here's 11 things that prove we're not lying when we said that we had no clue and never will earlier.

Basically what men like is the same as what women like: confidence, attention, and physical attractiveness.

Make up and hairstyles really do make you look better... to other women. That boosts your self esteem and makes you more attractive in how you ACT. But I promise you that unless you look like Heath Ledger's Joker, no man cares about your makeup or nails. It's how you act different once you've got your "face" on and you've zipped up the stripper hell boots, not the items themselves.

Second, cleaning or eating a lot of food isn't the turn on. It's that you care enough to eat our food and clean the toilet. That's attention. It shows you like us. If we like you, it's highly attractive. That's the turn on. If you came to guy's home, refused his hospitality by not eating and never even pick up after yourself, you'll be dumped the minute anyone else comes along. And I do mean ANYONE.

Finally, physical beauty. It's not the only factor, but it is a factor. And you can't really change it much. Just do the best you can with what you've got. That's why he likes you with no makeup. Your half assed paint job doesn't hide much more than blackheads. He's looking at the bone structure. If he likes you WITH makeup, he likes you WITHOUT. Same with ass hair. Normal guys don't like it so much as they don't mind it. It doesn't matter what's on the ass, as long as it's a great ass. You can always shave it later. Hell, that could be foreplay.

Anyway, pretty much everything you do for both genders to make yourself more attractive is really a placebo to change your mindset so you act better. The rest is diet and exercise.
 
2014-03-08 03:15:47 AM  
10. The way you tie your hair up into a frizzy, messy knot when you don't want to bother with it.That haphazard hairstyle may earn you a spontaneous fark.

This is the one and ONLY thing they got right. The rest sound like some sick German scheisse porn.
 
2014-03-08 03:23:22 AM  
Their list of weird-but-supposedly-true turnons for women is almost as bad.

1. Naked, conjoined twins. Pictured above. Do they have a penis? Two penises? We have a fantasy where we find out.
2. Being called a "good girl" in bed. Damn you, Robin Thicke, you've blurred the lines of my arousal.
3. Facials and or/ butt facials. Sue us for wanting to be an across the board cum canvas.
4. Beer guts. Tubby bellies are so fun to pinch and squeeze and watch bounce up and down during sex.
5. Being spit on. Sometimes on the vaj...
6. Mens' thigh meat. So firm compared to ours, which makes it all the more fun to take a bite out of.
8. Armpit hair on men and women. It must be all the pheromones up in there that get us hot and bothered.
9. A bald man's sweaty head. There's no hair to catch the sweat and it just drips and drips and drips like a never-ending sex faucet.
14. Super skinny dudes with no body hair. The gay community calls them otters. We don't care, we just want to swim with them.
15. Boob sucking that mimics breastfeeding. It must be some primal motherhood thing.
16. Undercover handjobs on reality TV. Ahem. "Big Brother" live feeds.
17. Some - though not tons of - back hair. It's a texture thing.
18. Christian wife spanking blogs. They're like porn. Seriously.
19. Licking inside the ear. Wet Williessssssss.
 
2014-03-08 03:30:45 AM  

HotWingAgenda: Their list of weird-but-supposedly-true turnons for women is almost as bad.

1. Naked, conjoined twins. Pictured above. Do they have a penis? Two penises? We have a fantasy where we find out.
2. Being called a "good girl" in bed. Damn you, Robin Thicke, you've blurred the lines of my arousal.
3. Facials and or/ butt facials. Sue us for wanting to be an across the board cum canvas.
4. Beer guts. Tubby bellies are so fun to pinch and squeeze and watch bounce up and down during sex.
5. Being spit on. Sometimes on the vaj...
6. Mens' thigh meat. So firm compared to ours, which makes it all the more fun to take a bite out of.
8. Armpit hair on men and women. It must be all the pheromones up in there that get us hot and bothered.
9. A bald man's sweaty head. There's no hair to catch the sweat and it just drips and drips and drips like a never-ending sex faucet.
14. Super skinny dudes with no body hair. The gay community calls them otters. We don't care, we just want to swim with them.
15. Boob sucking that mimics breastfeeding. It must be some primal motherhood thing.
16. Undercover handjobs on reality TV. Ahem. "Big Brother" live feeds.
17. Some - though not tons of - back hair. It's a texture thing.
18. Christian wife spanking blogs. They're like porn. Seriously.
19. Licking inside the ear. Wet Williessssssss.


D:
 
2014-03-08 05:04:10 AM  
It would take about 5 whole Savage Love podcasts to cover that whole list.
 
2014-03-08 08:05:29 AM  
Some men are turned on by every item on that list, but no man is turned on by them all.
 
2014-03-08 08:52:35 AM  

EvilEgg: Some men are turned on by every item on that list, but no man is turned on by them all.


There was a guy that on Howard Stern looking for women to vomit on him while he jerked it in the 2000-2001 era.

Some guys being turned on by something means nothing.

Now a nice ass? That's universal.

team-wild.com
 
2014-03-08 08:52:38 AM  
Wrong list is wrong. Gross.
 
2014-03-08 09:07:28 AM  
artwurksunlimited.com
 
2014-03-08 09:25:36 AM  

Demetrius: [artwurksunlimited.com image 800x575]


Sums it up perfectly. Bizarre article, bizarre website. It was like an even raunchier stupid version of Cosmopolitan.
 
2014-03-08 10:11:03 AM  
1.  Yes

2.  Meh

3.  No

4.  Kinda

5.  Yes

6.  Yes

7.  Funky, but not filthy

8.  Yes, especially if I cooked it, but not so much that you're in pain

9.  No

10. Oh yeah.

11.  Sounds are hilarious, but not really a turn-on
 
2014-03-08 10:13:38 AM  

HotWingAgenda: There's no hair to catch the sweat and it just drips and drips and drips like a never-ending sex faucet.


Sex Faucet?

i.imgur.com

I thought they closed that place down.
 
2014-03-08 10:32:05 AM  
The only thing I can agree with on that list is the messy hair up one. The rest amount to nothing more than rule 34 type turn-ons.
 
2014-03-08 10:44:23 AM  
The grown out pubes (but not too grown out) and the putting the messy hair up are the only ones that list got right. The burping and farting one isn't really a turn on so much as it's a sign they're comfortable around us. I'll laugh at it occasionally but it's not a turn on.

I can kinda see the sweat one, but only in a certain context. Just sitting around sweating because it's ridiculously hot isn't really sexy. But all sweaty because she just got done exercising? Oh yeah, there's just something about that. And that one goes the other way sometimes too. When I was in the Army and still married, my wife and I would get back home from PT and just tear each other apart.

The rest of that stuff seems more fetishy.
 
2014-03-08 11:50:00 AM  
I tried putting a finger in there.  She didn't like it.
 
2014-03-08 12:24:23 PM  
The only thing you can really take away is that females, no matter what kind of weird shiat they do, no matter what they look like, no matter what horrible disfigurement or malady they have, can find an average-looking guy who's got a fetish for that shiat.
 
2014-03-08 12:28:25 PM  
What's a little disappointing is that this woman writer (who is clearly trolling) lumps messy hair in with vagina sweat.  Ladies, we know you take your appearance more seriously than we do, but surely you aren't so obsessed that you think messy hair is disgusting enough to troll us with?
 
2014-03-08 01:49:00 PM  
Sounds like the "writer" is a 15 year old horny dude in mommy's basement.

As a woman, I always like to be super clean and freshly shaved because I feel good and clean. Benefit of that is my BF adores my hygiene and freely goes everywhere on my body he wants to.

I can burp on command, which he can't believe I can do. He frequently wants me to so he can laugh. Especially because I add little dance steps to it, turn it into a production.

The vag sweat thing is natural, as both men and women have sweat glands at the junctures where the inner thighs meet the pubic area.

And I'm not getting any "food baby" from anyone. Ever.

Overall, this "list" is infantile and absurd.
 
2014-03-08 02:01:51 PM  
This whole list.
www.southernsportstime.com
 
2014-03-08 03:06:49 PM  
I think this list must have been compiled by semi-random GIS, maybe for something like "weird turn-ons," and the writer automatically assumed that anything that showed up was popular/mainstream or it wouldn't be part of the algorithm or whatever. That or some male friend of hers had an early April Fool's Day.Maybe both.

Maybe she has a truly strange BF.
 
2014-03-08 03:23:55 PM  
It isn't April first.
 
2014-03-08 03:46:33 PM  

i0.kym-cdn.com

 
hej [TotalFark]
2014-03-08 05:41:02 PM  
I can't tell if tfa is meant to be some sort of Onion-esque humor or if the author honestly thinks that stuff is hot.
 
2014-03-08 07:28:26 PM  
media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com
 
2014-03-08 08:18:23 PM  
Some of that is cool, some is just cute (sneezing) but not arousing.  And some is out and out vomit inducing grossitocity.

Pubes are nice, don't understand the fascination with shearing it all off.  Unkempt hair, yeah, that is kinda hot.  ASS HAIR?  No thank you.  Etc. and so on.
 
2014-03-08 08:54:26 PM  
'food babies' are a thing?
 
2014-03-08 10:49:22 PM  
I've read enough of this thread to know I don't want to read the link. And to think some people say Fark doesn't provide a valuable public service. Fie, pshaw and pooh-pooh, I say to them! Double pooh-poohs, even!
 
2014-03-08 10:59:47 PM  

Vlad_the_Inaner: 'food babies' are a thing?


I was wondering about that.  Would it be possible to be so anorexic that a single meal could make your abdomen bulge significantly?
 
2014-03-09 01:34:05 AM  
Look at all the people who have sexual hangups.
 
2014-03-09 08:57:38 AM  
I am going to go along with the crowd here. I don't know the type of guy she is used to dating. But we do seem to travel in different circles.

But I am curious what the advertising would look like if they started marketing to her list. Forget cleavage and short skirts, time to play up your ass hair? Don't have time to not wash? Get Stank-in-a-can.
 
2014-03-09 11:40:34 AM  
Just sounds like a lesbian who is getting a little tired of scissoring and doesn't want to change too much to get some dick in her.
 
2014-03-09 12:08:15 PM  
ITT People who are surprised by unusual fetishes.

/found no surprises on that list
//Even if I'm not into it, I probably know people who are
///A girl who belches isn't so much a turn-on as much as a sign as she is not uptight
 
2014-03-09 01:57:40 PM  

LoneWolf343: A girl who belches isn't so much a turn-on as much as a sign as she is not uptight


If that's the case Wifey is as loose as a goose. Uh, wait, that didn't come out quite the way I meant.
 
2014-03-09 06:45:10 PM  

John Buck 41: LoneWolf343: A girl who belches isn't so much a turn-on as much as a sign as she is not uptight

If that's the case Wifey is as loose as a goose. Uh, wait, that didn't come out quite the way I meant.


gifcrap.com
 
2014-03-09 08:11:48 PM  

AbiNormal: John Buck 41: LoneWolf343: A girl who belches isn't so much a turn-on as much as a sign as she is not uptight

If that's the case Wifey is as loose as a goose. Uh, wait, that didn't come out quite the way I meant.

[gifcrap.com image 349x232]


'Zackly the image I didn't want to project
 
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