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(Ars Technica)   For sale on eBay: One lightly used 1987 Soviet TU-95MS "Bear" bomber, low mileage. Needs work. Current bid: $3,000,400   (arstechnica.com ) divider line
    More: Spiffy, eBay, Soviet, strategic bomber, Russian Air Force  
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8953 clicks; posted to Main » on 07 Mar 2014 at 12:30 PM (2 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



89 Comments     (+0 »)
 
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2014-03-07 12:31:52 PM  
The plane, which has been demilitarized and comes with all the appropriate documentation, is currently sitting in Ukraine.

Good luck with that!
 
2014-03-07 12:32:30 PM  
Yeah but what kind of mileage does it get?!?!
 
2014-03-07 12:35:06 PM  
Hang on. Let me grab my piggy bank. BRB.
 
2014-03-07 12:36:01 PM  
Does it have a sun roof and cup holders?
 
2014-03-07 12:37:24 PM  
Why the 400?
 
2014-03-07 12:37:44 PM  
If you farkers can get together and buy some shiat trans-am, you can certainly buy
your fearless leader one of these.
 
2014-03-07 12:37:55 PM  
These were excellent targets of opportunity in F-19 Stealth Fighter under Conventional War scenarios.
 
2014-03-07 12:37:58 PM  
From what it says you may want to invest in some sound proofing.
 
2014-03-07 12:37:58 PM  
Shoot, a fella could have a good time in Vegas with that.
 
2014-03-07 12:38:06 PM  
So do you have to pick it up or is it delivered?
 
2014-03-07 12:38:43 PM  
Why exactly isn't a CIA shell company buying this thing and carting it over for use during Red Flag?
 
2014-03-07 12:41:20 PM  
I see lots of ads for 'bears' on Craigslist.
 
2014-03-07 12:42:06 PM  
Show me the CarFax.
 
2014-03-07 12:42:38 PM  

Nutsac_Jim: If you farkers can get together and buy some shiat trans-am, you can certainly buy
your fearless leader one of these.


How much beer can Drew drop on a beach with this?
 
2014-03-07 12:43:00 PM  
I just want the enguine. For my hamburger helper. Whooosh, thump, done. Russian enguines known for it.
 
2014-03-07 12:44:58 PM  

Click Click D'oh: Why exactly isn't a CIA shell company buying this thing and carting it over for use during Red Flag?


The CIA are the ones seliing it as it's in the unpublished Snowden files so the op is busted. Might as well sell it to get some of the drug money back.
 
2014-03-07 12:47:35 PM  
If I where a mega-bazillionare I would buy it and fly everywhere at 100ft off the deck; that would be cool....
 
2014-03-07 12:49:37 PM  
Three million dollars could get you a much nicer plane than that.
 
2014-03-07 12:50:42 PM  
The problem is there's nowhere in the US you could fly a Bear into or out of because of noise regulations. Tu-95s are one of the loudest aircraft ever built in the history of....ever. You'd have to get special permission from the FAA just to take off.
 
2014-03-07 12:51:48 PM  
I hope it comes with lots of spare parts, because you're going to need them.
 
2014-03-07 12:51:48 PM  
They're so loud that the Navy used to track them with underwater sonar arrays? WTF?
 
2014-03-07 12:51:50 PM  
"It is necessary to make a technical service and prolongation of the data limit,"

So it flies like a turd from a slingshot.
 
2014-03-07 12:52:46 PM  
It'd be fun just to have as a bar or something.
 
2014-03-07 12:52:53 PM  
How much is that in Pepsi Points?
 
2014-03-07 12:53:02 PM  
Shipping is extra. That's how they get you.
 
2014-03-07 12:54:37 PM  
I would put the hot-tub over the bomb doors for changing the water or an impromptu ejection of unwanted party guests.
 
2014-03-07 12:54:39 PM  
i1280.photobucket.com
Sort of want.
 
2014-03-07 12:55:47 PM  

Old_Chief_Scott: Three million dollars could get you a much nicer plane than that six chicks at the same time.



s.mcstatic.com
 
2014-03-07 12:55:50 PM  
The trade for the uniforms I can understand. But to buy this bomber, you got to be crazy! It's a piece of junk!

i1.ytimg.com

/always with the negative waves
 
2014-03-07 12:55:54 PM  

Cthulhu_is_my_homeboy: The problem is there's nowhere in the US you could fly a Bear into or out of because of noise regulations. Tu-95s are one of the loudest aircraft ever built in the history of....ever. You'd have to get special permission from the FAA just to take off.


If I am not mistaken, the propeller tips break the speed of sound.  There are 32 of them.  That's like a constant 32 sonic booms going off.

I've seen single engine stunt planes with this feature up close, and it is not pleasant.
 
2014-03-07 12:57:21 PM  
ian.umces.edu

Bear bomb
 
2014-03-07 12:57:31 PM  

Lord Schtupp: If I where a mega-bazillionare I would buy it and fly everywhere at 100ft off the deck; that would be cool....


I would park it outside my missile silo house and live a Cold War-themed life. Just like a Republican.
 
2014-03-07 12:58:10 PM  
Amused by the fact that it was loud enough to be picked up by the underwater SOSUS warning nets.

/This business will get out of control. It will get out of control and we'll be lucky to live through it.
 
2014-03-07 12:58:24 PM  

Sin_City_Superhero: Shipping is extra. That's how they get you.


Amazon has it one and if you're a prime member you get shipping free. Otherwise it'll add $14,000,000 to your bill.
 
2014-03-07 12:59:09 PM  
What a 'Bear Bomber' may look like.
Probably not named Tupolev.
i1280.photobucket.com
*with modmin approved thong*
 
2014-03-07 12:59:58 PM  
Finally, I could even have a Bear in the air.
 
2014-03-07 01:00:00 PM  

Click Click D'oh: Why exactly isn't a CIA shell company buying this thing and carting it over for use during Red Flag?


Because it wouldn't have any significant impact in future war scenarios.  Too easy to find and kill, and the Russians know it.

Wonder how many deaf crewman roam the old USSR??
 
2014-03-07 01:01:08 PM  
Would look good sitting in the USAF museum. This is a cool peice of history.
 
2014-03-07 01:02:27 PM  
This is cheaper, possibly more effective.

images.craigslist.org

Possibly nsfw:
http://newyork.craigslist.org/brk/rnr/4359647547.html
 
2014-03-07 01:03:08 PM  
so fricken cool looking.
 
2014-03-07 01:06:37 PM  
Non-stop to almost anywhere in the world? Cool by me.

/thought there was an airline version too
 
2014-03-07 01:06:48 PM  
i2.photobucket.com
 
2014-03-07 01:07:02 PM  

Wrath of Heaven: These were excellent targets of opportunity in F-19 Stealth Fighter under Conventional War scenarios.


Ha! Awesome. I remember coming up under those things.

Lord, I miss Microprose. The boxes, the manuals, the games.
 
2014-03-07 01:08:51 PM  
My buddy manages the local airport, and I'm trying to persuade him to buy it in order to bomb the other regional airports and obtain air superiority over central IL.
 
2014-03-07 01:16:06 PM  

flh70: My buddy manages the local airport, and I'm trying to persuade him to buy it in order to bomb the other regional airports and obtain air superiority over central IL.


I love CivRev!
 
2014-03-07 01:25:25 PM  

Cthulhu_is_my_homeboy: The problem is there's nowhere in the US you could fly a Bear into or out of because of noise regulations. Tu-95s are one of the loudest aircraft ever built in the history of....ever. You'd have to get special permission from the FAA just to take off.


Not nearly as loud as this


Marcus Aurelius:
If I am not mistaken, the propeller tips break the speed of sound.  There are 32 of them.  That's like a constant 32 sonic booms going off.

I've seen single engine stunt planes with this feature up close, and it is not pleasant.


I grew up in the flightpath of Dorval airport and when I was a kid the TU-114s (civiian derivative of the TU-95) from the Moscow-Montreal line used to regularly fly overhead. I don't remember them as being  particularly loud. Distinctive, but not incredibly loud. It's likely that the very loud noise is only going to be a problem at cruising speed (which is very high, indeed) which is normally maintained only at high altitude. That means that, while they can be heard from the ground, they aren't disturbingly loud to someone standing in their backyard.
 
2014-03-07 01:26:26 PM  
I'm no pilot but I thought you recorded the planes hours not miles.
 
2014-03-07 01:30:51 PM  
i.imgur.com
 
2014-03-07 01:31:37 PM  

capt.hollister: Not nearly as loud as this


The entry under "Noise" is hilarious: an unfortunate crew chief who was inside a nearby C-47 was severely incapacitated during a 30-minute ground run (as long as it's not you).
 
2014-03-07 01:32:16 PM  

TNel: I'm no pilot but I thought you recorded the planes hours not miles.


Not if you want a green light.
 
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