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(Den Of Geek)   What the movie Swordfish teaches the world about computer hacking. Er, not very much as it happens   (denofgeek.com) divider line 68
    More: Hero, swordfish, Vinnie Jones, John Travolta, Swordfish teaches, des, does not equal, Dog Day Afternoon, Hugh Jackman  
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4436 clicks; posted to Entertainment » on 07 Mar 2014 at 11:05 AM (24 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



68 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2014-03-07 08:48:20 AM
Well, no. That would be irresponsible.   But didn't it teach us about other points?  And to be honest, does anyone remember this film for anything else?    www.madmind.de
 
2014-03-07 09:41:27 AM

colinspooky: Well, no. That would be irresponsible.   But didn't it teach us about other points?  And to be honest, does anyone remember this film for anything else?    [www.madmind.de image 150x150]


I remember that it demonstrated how even a blowjob couldn't divert Hugh Jackman's concentration.
 
2014-03-07 09:42:45 AM
Everything I needed to learn about hacking I learned from Zero Cool.
 
2014-03-07 09:46:46 AM
Apparently you can get shiatfaced drunk and still code advanced mathematics at a high level without referring to any reference libraries whatsoever.
 
2014-03-07 10:01:14 AM
Movies about hackers tend to be good at showing the boobies. Halle Berry in that piece of crap, Angelina in Hackers....I guess Alley Sheedy could have taken her gear off in War Games but didn't.
 
2014-03-07 10:19:45 AM
It taught us the wonder of fragment bombs.
 
2014-03-07 10:57:50 AM
Everything I know about hacking I learned by watching Angelina Jolie
 
2014-03-07 11:10:01 AM

The Stealth Hippopotamus: It taught us the wonder of fragment bombs.


The dangers of ball berings
 
2014-03-07 11:12:01 AM
That scene was so absurd.

HACK FASTER

But it doesn't work that way!

HACK FASTER NOW WITH A BLOW JOB

tappitytappitytappity.....aaaaand hacked
 
2014-03-07 11:12:11 AM
I tried to like this article. I might have liked it better with Helga.
 
2014-03-07 11:13:59 AM

NuttierThanEver: Everything I know about hacking off I learned by watching Angelina Jolie


An odd euphemism, but we'll allow it.

// Hackers was the end of that era for me
 
2014-03-07 11:18:49 AM

HotWingConspiracy: That scene was so absurd.

HACK FASTER

But it doesn't work that way!

HACK FASTER NOW WITH A BLOW JOB

tappitytappitytappity.....aaaaand hacked


And of course, the DoD or FBI or whatever high-security thing it was could be hacked in 60 seconds.
 
2014-03-07 11:36:02 AM

ThatGuyFromTheInternet: HotWingConspiracy: That scene was so absurd.

HACK FASTER

But it doesn't work that way!

HACK FASTER NOW WITH A BLOW JOB

tappitytappitytappity.....aaaaand hacked

And of course, the DoD or FBI or whatever high-security thing it was could be hacked in 60 seconds.


I just sort of assume 'hackers' in movies are mages, or superheroes of some stripe.

Once you make that assumption movies are much more entertaining to watch, at least for me. It basically explains why the can do the flat out impossible, and why you get 'god among men' hackers. They are the magic adept, the arch Mage, etc.
 
2014-03-07 11:46:48 AM
All you need to be a hacker:
Go here, type furiously, amaze everyone around you.
 
2014-03-07 11:51:01 AM
Wow, there's a relevant topic. 

Swordfish came out when, again?
 
2014-03-07 11:55:52 AM

The Silver Mullet: All you need to be a hacker:
Go here, type furiously, amaze everyone around you.



Never seen that one, even backspace works
 
2014-03-07 11:57:54 AM
We take a close look at 2001's Swordfish

Why? I mean, I think I liked it more than a lot of people. I still get a kick out of it, but it is in NO WAY a "close look" type of hacking movie, it's just a fun movie. Did you run out of mold on the cheese in your fridge to take a "close look" at, or something?
 
2014-03-07 12:13:38 PM

groppet: The Stealth Hippopotamus: It taught us the wonder of fragment bombs.

The dangers of ball berings


dam Strait...
 
2014-03-07 12:15:26 PM
It was yet another movie I have no interest in ever, ever seeing.
 
2014-03-07 12:21:42 PM
I was actually a bit disappointed in the gratuitous boob shot. (NSFW of course)
Not that her boobs are not great, it was just a poor presentation.
 
2014-03-07 12:22:57 PM

The Silver Mullet: All you need to be a hacker:
Go here, type furiously, amaze everyone around you.


I am going to have fun with that, thank you.  =D
 
2014-03-07 12:28:49 PM

The Silver Mullet: All you need to be a hacker:
Go here, type furiously, amaze everyone around you.


And thank you for yet another way to mess with my woman.

/Got my 2nd computer monitor set up with TV in living room
//how we watch netflix
///Somtimes I put random stuff on screen to mess with her.
////this is now one of them
 
2014-03-07 12:43:49 PM

Gecko Gingrich: Everything I needed to learn about hacking I learned from Zero Cool.


This
 
2014-03-07 12:56:27 PM

HotWingConspiracy: That scene was so absurd.

HACK FASTER

But it doesn't work that way!

HACK FASTER NOW WITH A BLOW JOB



www.spencer1984.com

HACKING DOES NOT WORK THAT WAY!

/NOW GIVE MORBO A BLOWJOB!
 
2014-03-07 12:57:44 PM
Swordfish taught me that some movie exec thought that seeing Halle Berry's tits was worth a million bucks.

/Agreed. Presentation SUCKED
 
2014-03-07 12:58:35 PM
I'm so sick of this "that couldn't have really happened that way because" bullshiat when it comes to movie plots. Who farking cares? It'a MOVIE. If you want reality, get a farking boring-ass job. Or go to Watts and have a coffee. Movies are an escape from reality. Not a window to it.
 
2014-03-07 01:12:34 PM

Savage Belief: I'm so sick of this "that couldn't have really happened that way because" bullshiat when it comes to movie plots. Who farking cares? It'a MOVIE. If you want reality, get a farking boring-ass job. Or go to Watts and have a coffee. Movies are an escape from reality. Not a window to it.


I dunno. Sometimes these moments can make the characters look really dumb and ruin suspension of disbelief. Skyfall was a great example of this for me. They capture Javier Bardem who, at this point, has been established as a master hacker. They take his laptop into the bowels of MI6 and plug it right in to their central network. Hell breaks loose.

It would have been equally as silly if they brought back a giant wooden horse from his secret hideout and parked it right inside Parliament.
 
2014-03-07 01:15:06 PM
Sh*tfish.
 
2014-03-07 01:15:45 PM

kroonermanblack: ThatGuyFromTheInternet: HotWingConspiracy: That scene was so absurd.

HACK FASTER

But it doesn't work that way!

HACK FASTER NOW WITH A BLOW JOB

tappitytappitytappity.....aaaaand hacked

And of course, the DoD or FBI or whatever high-security thing it was could be hacked in 60 seconds.

I just sort of assume 'hackers' in movies are mages, or superheroes of some stripe.

Once you make that assumption movies are much more entertaining to watch, at least for me. It basically explains why the can do the flat out impossible, and why you get 'god among men' hackers. They are the magic adept, the arch Mage, etc.


The worst ever has to be that Die Hard movie (4th one? With I'm a Mac guy).

tweakers.net
 
2014-03-07 01:19:48 PM
Halle Berry looked phenomenal in that movie.
 
2014-03-07 01:20:22 PM
... that movies are unrealistic? The hacker was on his computer for like 10 minutes yet was not asked even once if he wants to update his Java.
 
2014-03-07 01:24:07 PM

MightyPez: Savage Belief: I'm so sick of this "that couldn't have really happened that way because" bullshiat when it comes to movie plots. Who farking cares? It'a MOVIE. If you want reality, get a farking boring-ass job. Or go to Watts and have a coffee. Movies are an escape from reality. Not a window to it.

I dunno. Sometimes these moments can make the characters look really dumb and ruin suspension of disbelief. Skyfall was a great example of this for me. They capture Javier Bardem who, at this point, has been established as a master hacker. They take his laptop into the bowels of MI6 and plug it right in to their central network. Hell breaks loose.

It would have been equally as silly if they brought back a giant wooden horse from his secret hideout and parked it right inside Parliament.


This villain's plot in Skyfall makes absolutely no sense, and that's really saying something for a Bond villain plot.

get captured then release so that you can run into a hearing and shoot M? Even Dr. Evil thinks that's uselessly convoluted.
 
2014-03-07 01:32:00 PM
As long as it has a graphic interface with the word "hacking.... ", it looks legit to me.
 
2014-03-07 01:36:58 PM
Its a movie, I actually like Swordfish and don't mind the movie.
 
2014-03-07 01:48:59 PM
never seen swordfish.

never going to watch it.  i know it's crap.

/just saw I, Frankenstein.  Dear god, two-face.  is this really what you've come to?
 
2014-03-07 02:16:11 PM
So we're just using the Hero tag for anything now?
 
2014-03-07 02:17:21 PM
Swordfish was horrible but its opening scene is spectacular.
 
2014-03-07 02:20:51 PM
3 out of the 4 people have barely aged in 13 years.

img.fark.net
 
2014-03-07 02:28:53 PM

Fano: MightyPez: Savage Belief: I'm so sick of this "that couldn't have really happened that way because" bullshiat when it comes to movie plots. Who farking cares? It'a MOVIE. If you want reality, get a farking boring-ass job. Or go to Watts and have a coffee. Movies are an escape from reality. Not a window to it.

I dunno. Sometimes these moments can make the characters look really dumb and ruin suspension of disbelief. Skyfall was a great example of this for me. They capture Javier Bardem who, at this point, has been established as a master hacker. They take his laptop into the bowels of MI6 and plug it right in to their central network. Hell breaks loose.

It would have been equally as silly if they brought back a giant wooden horse from his secret hideout and parked it right inside Parliament.

This villain's plot in Skyfall makes absolutely no sense, and that's really saying something for a Bond villain plot.

get captured then release so that you can run into a hearing and shoot M? Even Dr. Evil thinks that's uselessly convoluted.


Scott Evil would totally agree.

/BOOM! Just shoot her!
 
2014-03-07 02:53:17 PM
Good movie.
If you thought it had anything at all to do with computers, you missed the point completely.
 
2014-03-07 02:53:22 PM

mjohnson71: 3 out of the 4 people have barely aged in 13 years.

[img.fark.net image 184x273]


Well, I doubt that Travolta's hair piece has aged all that much.
 
2014-03-07 03:02:57 PM

ds615: Good movie.
If you thought it had anything at all to do with computers, you missed the point completely.


Well what was the point?
 
2014-03-07 03:07:22 PM

The Silver Mullet: All you need to be a hacker:
Go here, type furiously, amaze everyone around you.


Link farked.
 
2014-03-07 03:15:41 PM

Savage Belief: I'm so sick of this "that couldn't have really happened that way because" bullshiat when it comes to movie plots. Who farking cares? It'a MOVIE. If you want reality, get a farking boring-ass job. Or go to Watts and have a coffee. Movies are an escape from reality. Not a window to it.




www.silverfishlongboarding.com
 
2014-03-07 03:17:41 PM

Mugato: Well what was the point?


3.bp.blogspot.com
 
2014-03-07 03:28:00 PM

colinspooky: Well, no. That would be irresponsible.   But didn't it teach us about other points?  And to be honest, does anyone remember this film for anything else?    [www.madmind.de image 150x150]


two saggy tits?
 
2014-03-07 03:30:09 PM
LFRED: Well then, what do we possibly do?

There is a heavy silence as they search for a solution. Finally, BRUCE's face lights up with equal parts brilliance and insanity

BRUCE: We hack the internet.

ALFRED: Hack the internet?

BRUCE: Yes, hack the internet.

GENERAL: Nobody's ever hacked the internet before.

BRUCE: Well, there's a first for everything.

GENERAL: OK, I like it. But which one of the internets do we hack?

BRUCE: All of them.
 
2014-03-07 03:32:10 PM

ColSanders: Mugato: Well what was the point?

[3.bp.blogspot.com image 393x600]


Why is her tampon string connected to her bra?
 
2014-03-07 03:32:16 PM

ColSanders: Mugato: Well what was the point?

[3.bp.blogspot.com image 393x600]


Fark.  Yes.   <biting lip.jpg>
 
2014-03-07 03:46:42 PM

The Silver Mullet: All you need to be a hacker:
Go here, type furiously, amaze everyone around you.


Lol, it's actually kind of disconcerting to watch the stuff coming up on the screewn while typing nonsense. Brian keeps trying to rebel.
 
2014-03-07 03:56:09 PM

Death Whisper: colinspooky: Well, no. That would be irresponsible.   But didn't it teach us about other points?  And to be honest, does anyone remember this film for anything else?    [www.madmind.de image 150x150]

two saggy tits?


blog.angelatung.com
 
2014-03-07 04:15:12 PM

MightyPez: Savage Belief: I'm so sick of this "that couldn't have really happened that way because" bullshiat when it comes to movie plots. Who farking cares? It'a MOVIE. If you want reality, get a farking boring-ass job. Or go to Watts and have a coffee. Movies are an escape from reality. Not a window to it.

I dunno. Sometimes these moments can make the characters look really dumb and ruin suspension of disbelief. Skyfall was a great example of this for me. They capture Javier Bardem who, at this point, has been established as a master hacker. They take his laptop into the bowels of MI6 and plug it right in to their central network. Hell breaks loose.

It would have been equally as silly if they brought back a giant wooden horse from his secret hideout and parked it right inside Parliament.


I agree. My computer forensics knowledge is entirely limited to Security+, but even I know that you don't plug a cyber-criminal's computer into your own f*cking network.

/Hey, we found the terrorist's remote-activated bomb! Let's put it in our government vehicle and drive it into our headquarters!
 
2014-03-07 05:05:11 PM
Jesus was that article written by a chimp?  Half those "sentences" weren't even sentences.  Reading that broke my brain.
 
2014-03-07 05:09:06 PM

B.L.Z. Bub: The Silver Mullet: All you need to be a hacker:
Go here, type furiously, amaze everyone around you.

Link farked.


Type something.
 
2014-03-07 06:27:42 PM

Abe Vigoda's Ghost: I was actually a bit disappointed in the gratuitous boob shot. (NSFW of course)
Not that her boobs are not great, it was just a poor presentation.


Bad film, bad film,bad film, here's Halle Berry's breasts for no reason, more boring film, boring film, credits.  But yeah the scene didn't really add anything to the film besides suckering a few Blockbuster rentals.
 
2014-03-07 06:49:33 PM
I've probably seen this movie a dozen times (like it quite a bit) and didn't know that was Wolverine till this thread. damn.
 
2014-03-07 06:53:37 PM
The hacking episode of Almost Human was comedic.
 
2014-03-07 07:15:15 PM
I think one day I'll watch the entire run of Alias again just for its computer hacking.  They didn't even bother with basic physics.  Computers = Magic in that show.

/Ok, now take this magnetic USB stick and smack it onto the side of their server.  Ok, I'm bypassing their encryption and downloading their megaflops.
 
2014-03-07 07:32:55 PM

fang06554: I think one day I'll watch the entire run of Alias again just for its computer hacking.  They didn't even bother with basic physics.  Computers = Magic in that show.

/Ok, now take this magnetic USB stick and smack it onto the side of their server.  Ok, I'm bypassing their encryption and downloading their megaflops.


Computers = Magic in every fictional show and movie
I'd be interested to know what exceptions there are to this rule, I can't think of any.
 
2014-03-07 07:47:32 PM

B.L.Z. Bub: fang06554: I think one day I'll watch the entire run of Alias again just for its computer hacking.  They didn't even bother with basic physics.  Computers = Magic in that show.

/Ok, now take this magnetic USB stick and smack it onto the side of their server.  Ok, I'm bypassing their encryption and downloading their megaflops.

Computers = Magic in every fictional show and movie
I'd be interested to know what exceptions there are to this rule, I can't think of any.


Good lord, I think you're right.
Ugh.
*sigh*
 
2014-03-07 08:00:30 PM

B.L.Z. Bub: fang06554: I think one day I'll watch the entire run of Alias again just for its computer hacking.  They didn't even bother with basic physics.  Computers = Magic in that show.

/Ok, now take this magnetic USB stick and smack it onto the side of their server.  Ok, I'm bypassing their encryption and downloading their megaflops.

Computers = Magic in every fictional show and movie
I'd be interested to know what exceptions there are to this rule, I can't think of any.


encrypted-tbn2.gstatic.com
 
2014-03-07 08:35:17 PM
My biggest problem with the movie is this:  Travolta is sitting in the coffee shop with the FBI, acting all cool.  IMHO, had I been the FBI Agent-In-Charge, I would have said the following to him:

"We can see you and your team are high-level, well-financed terrorists.  That means there's absolutely no way I'm letting any of you go, no matter who gets killed."

Then Travolta gets a bullet to the head, the FBI AIC walks outside to the other crooks and says, "Okay!  Your boss is dead!  You have two choices:  surrender or die.  I don't care about the hostages, because it's clear that if we let you go, you'll simply kill far more than the dozen or so you have in then.  If I have to choose between a dozen here and 2000 someplace else, then these folks are gonna die, and you're gonna die with them.  You have 60 seconds, then we open fire."

NEVER negotiate with terrorists!
 
2014-03-07 09:02:21 PM

Zombie DJ: So we're just using the Hero tag for anything now?


Apparently. Of all the misuses of that tag, this may be the worst.
 
2014-03-07 11:13:55 PM

B.L.Z. Bub: Computers = Magic in every fictional show and movie
I'd be interested to know what exceptions there are to this rule, I can't think of any.


Jurassic Park gets some credit for using an actual SGI IRIX file browser.
i.imgur.com
 
2014-03-08 01:45:45 AM

B.L.Z. Bub: fang06554: I think one day I'll watch the entire run of Alias again just for its computer hacking.  They didn't even bother with basic physics.  Computers = Magic in that show.

/Ok, now take this magnetic USB stick and smack it onto the side of their server.  Ok, I'm bypassing their encryption and downloading their megaflops.

Computers = Magic in every fictional show and movie
I'd be interested to know what exceptions there are to this rule, I can't think of any.

Sneakers

. Great movie, awesome cast, realistic hacking, and with all the Snowden hubbub, still relevant.
 
2014-03-08 08:15:00 AM
It taught me nothing about hacking.  It did teach me, however, that Halle Berry will show you her tits on film if you toss in an extra $200,000 ... and that it might actually be worth it.
 
2014-03-08 03:33:42 PM

Ivo Shandor: B.L.Z. Bub: Computers = Magic in every fictional show and movie
I'd be interested to know what exceptions there are to this rule, I can't think of any.

Jurassic Park gets some credit for using an actual SGI IRIX file browser.
[i.imgur.com image 625x423]


The Matrix used an actual hack in the power plant scene.

nmap.org
 
2014-03-08 07:09:41 PM

Marcus Aurelius: Apparently you can get shiatfaced drunk and still code advanced mathematics at a high level without referring to any reference libraries whatsoever.


Or be hired to design internal programs for my company.
 
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