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(Stars and Stripes)   Not news: Army sexual assault lawyer suspended. News: For committing sexual assault. Fark: At a sexual assault legal conference   (stripes.com) divider line 55
    More: Ironic, sex crimes, Trial Counsel Assistance Program, academic conference, air assault, Staff Sgt, position of trust, Fort Belvoir  
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3754 clicks; posted to Main » on 06 Mar 2014 at 6:11 PM (46 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



55 Comments   (+0 »)
   
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2014-03-06 03:27:30 PM  
it was just a 'demonstration' of what a 'sexual assault' could be like... if it were to happen.... really just a  misunderstanding... that's all... says legal counsel for gropy Mcgroperson.
 
2014-03-06 03:36:23 PM  
Well, as they say, go big or go home.
 
2014-03-06 03:36:33 PM  
There is symmetry
 
2014-03-06 03:39:33 PM  
Isn't that Triple Irony?
 
2014-03-06 03:52:27 PM  
If I'm not mistaken, it's not the first time this happens, either.
 
2014-03-06 04:21:57 PM  
Another example of why Kirsten Gillibrand is awesome, and this whole area of the military is horseshiat.
 
2014-03-06 04:23:42 PM  
Attempts to reach Morse via phone and email for comment have thus far been unsuccessful.

I'll bet I know how to get a hold of him.
 
2014-03-06 04:25:00 PM  
Ironic tag assplodes.
 
2014-03-06 04:27:16 PM  
www.stripes.com

I guess now we know how Shane Walsh ended up doing time as a small town cop out in the sticks.
 
2014-03-06 04:27:46 PM  
"This reads like an article from the Onion," said Nancy Parrish, president of Protect Our Defenders, in an email. "Unfortunately there is absolutely nothing funny about it.

Or on Fark... wait.
 
2014-03-06 04:30:50 PM  

Calmamity: Attempts to reach Morse via phone and email for comment have thus far been unsuccessful.

I'll bet I know how to get a hold of him.


some sort of 'code' perhaps?  maybe dittybopper could take care of this for them.
 
2014-03-06 04:32:18 PM  
Paradoxical?

i536.photobucket.com
 
2014-03-06 04:32:39 PM  
I've known a number of attorneys who will bring a double scotch into the mandatory substance abuse seminars. Those lectures always make me thirsty.
 
2014-03-06 04:38:53 PM  
Why is this a shock?

Lawyers are all about "Do what I say, not what I do." and "I'm not the one on trial here."

They think it doesn't apply to them. They're trained to, because in the courtroom it doesn't. So a lawyer conference on sexual assault is the most likely place to be sexually assaulted because you've got a room full of little Napoleons with sexual assault in the forefront of their mind milling around. It's got to be AT LEAST as bad as a prison shower on the guards' day off.
 
2014-03-06 04:47:12 PM  

Calmamity: Attempts to reach Morse via phone and email for comment have thus far been unsuccessful.

I'll bet I know how to get a hold of him.


Dammit. I was going to make a telegram joke.
 
2014-03-06 05:08:03 PM  
files.myfrogbag.com
 
2014-03-06 05:35:32 PM  
img23.imageshack.us
 
2014-03-06 06:02:43 PM  
What the LTC may look like:
img.fark.net
 
2014-03-06 06:13:55 PM  
That plan seems almost crazy enough to work.
 
2014-03-06 06:14:13 PM  
A sexual assault conference would be the place to expect sexual assault to happen. ...duh.
 
2014-03-06 06:15:12 PM  

RedPhoenix122: Ironic tag assplodes.


Just one thing I absolutely can't do at the sexual assault conference. Just one thing. Don't sexually assault someone. No sexual assault. Just that one thi . . . DAMMIT!
 
2014-03-06 06:15:13 PM  
pro- or anti- sexual assault legal conference?
 
2014-03-06 06:16:12 PM  
It's an allegation. He could very well be innocent or the biggest scumbag out there. No one knows yet. Or are we supposed to treat him like the Duke Lacrosse team?
 
2014-03-06 06:16:49 PM  
Those who can do; those who can't, teach.
 
2014-03-06 06:17:52 PM  
"Trying to kiss her". Oh, now even trying is wrong?  There goes my weekend.
 
2014-03-06 06:18:23 PM  

caddisfly: RedPhoenix122: Ironic tag assplodes.

Just one thing I absolutely can't do at the sexual assault conference. Just one thing. Don't sexually assault someone. No sexual assault. Just that one thi . . . DAMMIT!


25.media.tumblr.com
 
2014-03-06 06:20:21 PM  

The Stealth Hippopotamus: [img23.imageshack.us image 275x183]


that^
 
2014-03-06 06:21:03 PM  

DamnYankees: Another example of why Kirsten Gillibrand is awesome, and this whole area of the military is horseshiat.


hmm, she's doing a fundraising breakfast at my office on monday at 8:30

i'd go but i have no funds, and 8:30? for breakfast?

breakfast is at noon!
 
2014-03-06 06:22:36 PM  
If you're someone looking to sexually assault women, you go where the women are.
 
2014-03-06 06:24:07 PM  

skinink: It's an allegation. He could very well be innocent or the biggest scumbag out there. No one knows yet. Or are we supposed to treat him like the Duke Lacrosse team?


That accusation may have been false but they deserved it for 1. Playing lacrosse and 2. Being Duke students.
 
2014-03-06 06:24:18 PM  

caddisfly: RedPhoenix122: Ironic tag assplodes.

Just one thing I absolutely can't do at the sexual assault conference. Just one thing. Don't sexually assault someone. No sexual assault. Just that one thi . . . DAMMIT!


Seriously...

You had ONE JOB Tarly.
 
2014-03-06 06:25:19 PM  

doglover: Why is this a shock?

Lawyers are all about "Do what I say, not what I do." and "I'm not the one on trial here."

They think it doesn't apply to them. They're trained to, because in the courtroom it doesn't. So a lawyer conference on sexual assault is the most likely place to be sexually assaulted because you've got a room full of little Napoleons with sexual assault in the forefront of their mind milling around. It's got to be AT LEAST as bad as a prison shower on the guards' day off.


Most of the lawyers I know are women, and, sadly...this isn't true at all.
 
2014-03-06 06:26:05 PM  
FTA :

...has been suspended after a lawyer who worked for him recently reported he'd groped her and tried to kiss her.


Too bad she wasn't attracted to him.  Guy might still have a career.
 
2014-03-06 06:26:33 PM  

dj_bigbird: Calmamity: Attempts to reach Morse via phone and email for comment have thus far been unsuccessful.

I'll bet I know how to get a hold of him.

Dammit. I was going to make a telegram joke.


Stop.

/see what I did there?
 
2014-03-06 06:31:56 PM  
media.veryfunnypics.eu
 
2014-03-06 06:33:16 PM  

skinink: It's an allegation. He could very well be innocent or the biggest scumbag out there. No one knows yet. Or are we supposed to treat him like the Duke Lacrosse team?


No, men are always guilty. White men especially so. If you think otherwise you are a member of the patriarchy, and social justice will have to hunt you down and castrate you.

/did not rta
 
2014-03-06 06:36:57 PM  

skinink: It's an allegation. He could very well be innocent or the biggest scumbag out there. No one knows yet. Or are we supposed to treat him like the Duke Lacrosse team?


The Army does not lightly suspend people. If his superiors thought there was a shred of doubt about his culpability, he'd probably still be at his current post.
 
2014-03-06 06:38:57 PM  
RAPECEPTION
 
2014-03-06 06:40:41 PM  
You said Sexual Assault thrice.
 
2014-03-06 06:54:33 PM  

slayer199: Isn't that Triple Irony?


Yes, but the Chinese judge gave him low marks for a sloppy landing.
 
2014-03-06 06:59:12 PM  
scienceblogs.com

They never should have hired Army Sexual Assault Lawyer Bill.
 
2014-03-06 07:12:29 PM  
My most significant regret in life is not preventing a female friend from joining the military.
 
2014-03-06 07:14:45 PM  

Larofeticus: My most significant regret in life is not preventing a female friend from joining the military.


Don't sweat it.  We all understand that you'll agree with her about anything when stuck in the friend zone.
 
2014-03-06 07:16:09 PM  
There was probably no better qualified man in the entire Army to sexually assault someone.
 
2014-03-06 07:23:30 PM  

Fark In The Duck: Paradoxical?


You win... consider me a new follower
 
2014-03-06 07:26:30 PM  
She WAS in the hotel room with him.  He should have spent a few more bucks on drinks.
 
2014-03-06 08:01:57 PM  
25.media.tumblr.com
 
2014-03-06 08:16:54 PM  
"Morse was removed from his job when the allegations came to light, one source said. To date, no charges have been filed in the case. "

The man put in charge of investing the case, Morse's best friend and fellow male has said:
"what do you expect to happen at conferences"  and
"she was asking for it, looking all hot and what not"


You really want to fix this problem?
Put a woman in charge and make her at least a 3 star general.

Or you can just keep farking around.
 
2014-03-06 09:09:49 PM  
uhhh... hey baby. u need to salute my Staff Sergeant...
 
2014-03-06 09:19:01 PM  
just "homework".
 
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