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(Yahoo Images)   Caption this photo of Chris Christie at CPAC   (l.yimg.com ) divider line
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2916 clicks; posted to Main » on 06 Mar 2014 at 4:30 PM (2 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2014-03-06 03:07:03 PM  
Original:
l.yimg.com
 
2014-03-06 03:09:25 PM  
"Did you order the Code Red?!!"
"YOU'RE GODDAMN RIGHT I DID!!"
 
2014-03-06 03:09:42 PM  
l.yimg.com
*FAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARP!*
`It was the chair shifting! I swear!'
 
2014-03-06 03:10:26 PM  
WHAR BUFFET? WHAR?
 
2014-03-06 03:12:52 PM  
"So then I said HA I'VE GOT BOTH TURKEY LEGS NOW!"
 
2014-03-06 03:15:11 PM  
Two invisible spoons of pudding.

/and one dick
 
2014-03-06 03:18:29 PM  
...so if you grip one ear in each hand you can just bite right into the skull of the younger ones.
 
2014-03-06 03:41:33 PM  
"I was working the invisible ice cream cones."
 
2014-03-06 03:54:36 PM  
I want to be the 2016 NOM NOM NOM.
 
2014-03-06 04:01:44 PM  
"WHEEL THAT FARKING BUFFET TABLE BACK IN HERE IMMEDIATELY, OR I'LL SHUT DOWN THE ROAD IN FRONT OF YOUR HOUSE!!!"
 
2014-03-06 04:20:49 PM  
Two invisible corndogs!
 
2014-03-06 04:22:00 PM  
"And they're like *beep-beep* but the ramp to the GWB was closed."
 
2014-03-06 04:24:06 PM  
Chris Christie debuts his "Ol' Timey Prospector" character during the improv segment at CPAC.
 
2014-03-06 04:33:51 PM  
Source Associated Press - Governor Christie loudly protests the lack of gravy choices at the buffet.
 
2014-03-06 04:33:58 PM  
Sausages!
 
2014-03-06 04:34:27 PM  
I always pick the red robot.
 
2014-03-06 04:34:53 PM  
I swear to Jesus I'm going to eat every last one of you!
 
2014-03-06 04:35:02 PM  
IF YOU LIKE PINYA CO LOTTAS
AND BEING CAUGHT IN THE RAYYYN
 
2014-03-06 04:35:19 PM  
You gonna finish that teleprompter?
 
2014-03-06 04:35:21 PM  
GOOD GOD! You ever have a shiat so good your pants fit better?
 
2014-03-06 04:35:38 PM  
"I TOTALLY DID IT, BUT YOU'LL NEVER PROVE IT!....oh shiat."
 
2014-03-06 04:36:04 PM  
Did you know I can fit both fist in my mouth?
 
2014-03-06 04:36:44 PM  
IF YOU LIKE PEEN-YA CAH-LOTTAS
AND BEING CAUGHT IN THE RAIN
AND I'M NOT INTO HEALTH FOOD
I AM
INTO
CHAMPAGNE
 
2014-03-06 04:37:45 PM  
"CAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAKE!"
 
2014-03-06 04:38:03 PM  
"hold on, about to make  Paul Ryan doll...huuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhh *plop*"
 
2014-03-06 04:39:24 PM  
Arrrrrgo fark yourself.
 
2014-03-06 04:39:38 PM  
AHHHHHHhhhhhhh.

There, that's better.  Now, where's the flush handle?
 
2014-03-06 04:39:46 PM  
POOP IS COMING OUT NOW!
 
2014-03-06 04:40:11 PM  
Modern cameras are unable to photograph the ice cream cones being consumed as the gaping maw of the Christiedon is capable of exerting the inward pull of a black hole at such a rate of speed that it becomes imperceptible.

Alternatively:

Not pictured here: Integrity.
 
2014-03-06 04:40:35 PM  
"OK.  Lots of poop cones coming out."
 
2014-03-06 04:41:16 PM  
Hey everyone, I'm rubbing my ass on Obama's face!

blog.zap2it.com
 
2014-03-06 04:41:23 PM  
I AM TRYING TO shiat OUT AN ENTIRE WEDDING CAKE!
 
2014-03-06 04:42:28 PM  
"... And then she said, 'That's no moon!'"
 
Bf+
2014-03-06 04:42:36 PM  
They're the party of intolerance, not us!!!

Bonus: Actual quote based on a a blatant lie.
 
Bf+
2014-03-06 04:44:21 PM  
BABY I WAS BORN TO RUUUUUUNNNNNNN!!!!
 
2014-03-06 04:45:35 PM  
I did not have sexual relations with that hot pocket!
 
2014-03-06 04:47:11 PM  
(voice of aide, off stage): "Time to move Governor!

Christie: "I'm giving 'er all she's got Capt'n and I still can't leave orbit!"
 
2014-03-06 04:48:27 PM  
"One time when I was younger, me and a couple of buddies were on the road and we shared a hotel room that had only one bed to save some money.  We drew straws and I drew the short one so I got stuck in the middle.

That night, weary from a long day on the road, I fell sound asleep and had a dream that I was cross-country skiing. Well, I woke up in the middle of that dream and soon realized, I'M NOT SKIING!"
 
2014-03-06 04:49:01 PM  
'Who does number 2 work for!!?'
 
2014-03-06 04:49:27 PM  
I'm stuck to my chair. I'm so very scared. Help.
 
2014-03-06 04:49:30 PM  
Augustus Gloop wants more chocolate
 
2014-03-06 04:49:52 PM  
"GET IN MAH BELLEH!"
 
2014-03-06 04:52:56 PM  
I MADE A BOOM-BOOM!
 
2014-03-06 04:56:12 PM  
i.imgur.com
 
2014-03-06 04:56:42 PM  
img.fark.net
 
2014-03-06 04:58:31 PM  

When I say Krispy, you say Kreme! ...Krispy! ...Kreme!

 
2014-03-06 05:01:32 PM  
You like Jelly donuts. I like JAM!!!
 
2014-03-06 05:04:33 PM  
img.fark.net
.........
 
2014-03-06 05:05:04 PM  
I told you I'm not Rob Ford!!!  I'm prettier.........
 
2014-03-06 05:08:41 PM  
l.yimg.com

"WHEN I GET STUCK IN TRAFFIC, I DRIVE LIKE THIS"

 
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