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(Slate)   Now that the monocle is making a return among the New York hipster scene, here are five other possible fashion trends for the uber-cool to consider   (slate.com) divider line 180
    More: Stupid, fashion trends, Elizabethan, Peerage of England, market trends  
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10679 clicks; posted to Main » on 06 Mar 2014 at 3:15 PM (32 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2014-03-06 01:48:30 PM  
"I wore an ombre top bun throughout my 20s, but then the pickler at my co-op was like, 'Didn't I see you in that 30 Seconds to Mars video?' At that point I was like, 'OK: what's next?' " said Jude Loving, who runs his own cassette-only music label and can be seen powdering his billowing horsehair wig with arsenic-laden powder in a three-second video posted to the micro experience-sharing app Twine. "Also, I'm balding."

The staggering amount of fail contained within this passage leaves me hoping that it can only be satire.
 
2014-03-06 01:56:03 PM  
So you could say it's a ... Mr. Peanut cluster?
 
2014-03-06 01:59:20 PM  
Also, why not bring back the codpiece if you're going to be revisiting old fashions?
 
2014-03-06 02:03:58 PM  
Oooh...maybe they'll bring back wearing roach clips with feathers and beads in one's hair.
 
2014-03-06 02:06:27 PM  
I need to see some actual photo evidence of New York hipsters wearing monocles in non-costume settings before I'll believe that they're making a return in any real sense.
 
2014-03-06 02:07:31 PM  

Lorelle: Oooh...maybe they'll bring back wearing roach clips with feathers and beads in one's hair.


um, that's most definitely a thing again.  mostly with the early-20's, female, bedroom-slippers-for-shoes set.
 
2014-03-06 02:09:16 PM  

Pocket Ninja: I need to see some actual photo evidence of New York hipsters wearing monocles in non-costume settings before I'll believe that they're making a return in any real sense.


i'll be in williamsburg this weekend (is that still the hipster capital of the world, or has it moved on to a place i've never heard of?), i'll report back.
 
2014-03-06 02:10:34 PM  
When I was a kid, I started noticing that my eyesight was worse in one eye than the other. Being a kid, I thought that meant I'd have to wear a monocle, so I started practicing how to wear one. Which is why today I can raise one eyebrow.
 
2014-03-06 02:11:11 PM  

doublesecretprobation: Lorelle: Oooh...maybe they'll bring back wearing roach clips with feathers and beads in one's hair.

um, that's most definitely a thing again.  mostly with the early-20's, female, bedroom-slippers-for-shoes set.


What's old is new again.

/had feathered roach clips in the 1970s
 
2014-03-06 02:15:20 PM  
The next big thing will be opening your pants to reveal an actual baby holding a fresh organic heritage breed apple.


i253.photobucket.comThe days of cutting corners through metaphor are over folks, people crave the real deal.
 
2014-03-06 02:15:51 PM  

Lorelle: Oooh...maybe they'll bring back wearing roach clips with feathers and beads in one's hair.


I've done that.

Except I used leather thongs to tie the feathers and beads to my mohawk.  And the beads on a string hanging down spelled out "FUAC" in Morse code.
 
2014-03-06 02:16:41 PM  

Pocket Ninja: I need to see some actual photo evidence of New York hipsters wearing monocles in non-costume settings before I'll believe that they're making a return in any real sense.


i1-news.softpedia-static.com
 
2014-03-06 02:21:51 PM  

Pocket Ninja: I need to see some actual photo evidence of New York hipsters wearing monocles in non-costume settings before I'll believe that they're making a return in any real sense.


rootzwiki.com

Based on GIS it seems to be this guy and one other. There's your trend.
 
2014-03-06 02:25:05 PM  
First person I see wearing a monocle gets kicked in the nuts just on principle.
 
2014-03-06 02:25:31 PM  
newsimg.bbc.co.uk

I've said it before and I'll say it again - the next big thing will be Dame Edna glasses.
 
2014-03-06 02:25:42 PM  
TODAY'S HIPSTER BEATING.
"Today I saw Ethan taking a "food porn" picture of his $10 imported licorice infused latte for his Brooklyn based blog that only his enabling Culdesacian parents read to know their fragile red bearded son is keeping busy on their dime. So I dragged his empty-ketchup-packet shaped body behind the counter and ran him through the coffee bean grinder. End of story."
 
2014-03-06 02:26:17 PM  
i assume the pince-nez will return next.
 
2014-03-06 02:34:37 PM  

FlashHarry: i assume the pince-nez will return next.


A few weeks ago I went to Silver Lake, a hipster-infested L.A. neighborhood, and saw lotsa people wearing huge black-framed glasses, both prescription and sunglasses. I don't recall seeing any monocles or pince-nez glasses, though.
 
2014-03-06 02:34:54 PM  
A friend and I have been proposing for years now that a good hipster trend would be tricked-out crutches.
 
2014-03-06 02:41:15 PM  
I wear a monocle sunglass. I close one eye and block the sun out of the other.
 
2014-03-06 02:42:20 PM  

Lorelle: A few weeks ago I went to Silver Lake, a hipster-infested L.A. neighborhood, and saw lotsa people wearing huge black-framed glasses, both prescription and sunglasses. I don't recall seeing any monocles or pince-nez glasses, though.


i have been to silverlake several times, so i'm picking up what you're laying down.

any fake eyepatches? i figure that might be a "thing" soon.
 
2014-03-06 02:45:39 PM  

Solid State Vittles: A friend and I have been proposing for years now that a good hipster trend would be tricked-out crutches.


cdn2.bigcommerce.com
 
2014-03-06 02:50:36 PM  
Unless you are a jeweler, there is not purpose to a monocle.

naughtyrev: Also, why not bring back the codpiece if you're going to be revisiting old fashions?


Pfft. Codpiece. Penis gourd is where it's at.
 
2014-03-06 02:56:02 PM  

31.media.tumblr.com

 
2014-03-06 02:57:22 PM  

Lorelle: Solid State Vittles: A friend and I have been proposing for years now that a good hipster trend would be tricked-out crutches.

[cdn2.bigcommerce.com image 700x700]


It's important to mention that the user of said crutches should not be injured.

Also, thick black glasses frames have been hipster de rigueur for at least a decade now.
 
2014-03-06 03:00:23 PM  

Solid State Vittles: Lorelle: Solid State Vittles: A friend and I have been proposing for years now that a good hipster trend would be tricked-out crutches.

[cdn2.bigcommerce.com image 700x700]

It's important to mention that the user of said crutches should not be injured.

Also, thick black glasses frames have been hipster de rigueur for at least a decade now.


I know, but the really huge frames seem to be a more recent trend.
 
2014-03-06 03:08:52 PM  
A bunch of the hipsters around here are getting fatter and fatter by the week. It's really pathetic to see a skinny jeans muffin top. I like to call them ice cream cones.
 
2014-03-06 03:17:49 PM  
Yeah, they're not hipsters.

www.whitemischief.info
 
2014-03-06 03:18:35 PM  
Yeah, because what we need to come back were those super cool plague bird masks.

/*shudder*
 
2014-03-06 03:19:21 PM  
I wish they'd bring back more writers I don't want to instantly punch in the face.
 
2014-03-06 03:19:23 PM  
I wish they would bring back footie pajamas.  :(
 
2014-03-06 03:21:22 PM  
media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com
 
2014-03-06 03:21:56 PM  

FlashHarry: i assume the pince-nez will return next.


That's cute. I was into bridge piercings with rare-earth magnet pince-nez attachment before it was cool.
 
2014-03-06 03:21:59 PM  

naughtyrev: Also, why not bring back the codpiece if you're going to be revisiting old fashions?


i.cdn.turner.com
Too metal for hipsters.
 
2014-03-06 03:22:31 PM  
Wearin' a monocle ... that's an eye pokin'.
 
2014-03-06 03:22:46 PM  

doublesecretprobation: Pocket Ninja: I need to see some actual photo evidence of New York hipsters wearing monocles in non-costume settings before I'll believe that they're making a return in any real sense.

i'll be in williamsburg this weekend (is that still the hipster capital of the world, or has it moved on to a place i've never heard of?), i'll report back.


Williamsburg is so over, it's now Bushwick aka "South East Williamsburg".

/So long Brooklyn, we hardly knew thee
//At least there's East New York, and the Brighton Beach/Coney Island
 
2014-03-06 03:23:36 PM  
Does hipster mean steampunk in NY? Whatever they are called, I too would be happy to engage in some face punching.
 
2014-03-06 03:23:50 PM  
www.heyyhotmess.com
 
2014-03-06 03:23:50 PM  
www.slapcaption.com
 
2014-03-06 03:25:37 PM  
i.imgur.com
 
2014-03-06 03:25:57 PM  
Prince Nez?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NwvHpGbg3oo


/two squirrel nut zipper posts in a day, oh my
 
2014-03-06 03:27:32 PM  
Waiting for prats with spats.
 
2014-03-06 03:27:50 PM  
img3.wikia.nocookie.net
 
2014-03-06 03:28:22 PM  

FlashHarry: TODAY'S HIPSTER BEATING.
"Today I saw Ethan taking a "food porn" picture of his $10 imported licorice infused latte for his Brooklyn based blog that only his enabling Culdesacian parents read to know their fragile red bearded son is keeping busy on their dime. So I dragged his empty-ketchup-packet shaped body behind the counter and ran him through the coffee bean grinder. End of story."


Thank you so much for this link!
 
2014-03-06 03:28:46 PM  
It just means everyone will have to stop being so horrified.
 
2014-03-06 03:29:08 PM  
I have the perfect fashion idea for the Hipster; a baseball bat imbedded into the top of their ugly empty skulls.

I'd be more than glad to set up a boutique for this cool trend. I'd charge half price to Hipsters. Hell, I'd pay THEM to allow me to do the procedure.
 
2014-03-06 03:29:34 PM  

cowgirl toffee: I wish they would bring back footie pajamas.  :(


I'm a delivery boy in a college town. Trust me, they're totally back. At least, they're back among the drunk, stupid sorority girl with 25 extra pounds crowd. Except, maddeningly, they've taken to calling them "onesies". Stupid hookers.
 
2014-03-06 03:30:28 PM  

SurfaceTension: First person I see wearing a monocle gets kicked in the nuts just on principle.


I came in to this thread thinking the law ought to allow for any adult to perform a citizens nut-kick on anyone wearing a monocle in a non-costume setting.
 
2014-03-06 03:30:55 PM  

propasaurus: When I was a kid, I started noticing that my eyesight was worse in one eye than the other. Being a kid, I thought that meant I'd have to wear a monocle, so I started practicing how to wear one. Which is why today I can raise one eyebrow.


So, that makes you perfect to be either Colonel Klink or Mr. Spock.

nerdysomething.net www.usafawebguy.com
 
2014-03-06 03:31:09 PM  
List fails without spats.

/and now I am feeling ennui.
 
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