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(Gawker)   If you needed something "armored" to help you rob an ATM, would you choose, (A) a car, (B) a truck, or (C) underwear?   (gawker.com) divider line 35
    More: Amusing, trucks  
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2571 clicks; posted to Main » on 06 Mar 2014 at 3:29 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



35 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2014-03-06 02:19:42 PM  
Robot pants?
i.imgur.com
 
2014-03-06 02:31:03 PM  
I thought the armored underwear was for after you're convicted?
 
2014-03-06 02:59:53 PM  
invented this gag, Rabbit! Only in  my day, the  rookie got naked!

And we also used  blanks... You're a  sick motherfarker, Mac.
 
2014-03-06 03:32:08 PM  
www.marketing-for-accountants.com
 
2014-03-06 03:34:29 PM  
Have you seen his penis?
 
2014-03-06 03:40:38 PM  
I didn't even know Under Armour made underwear. I just thought they made tight fitting shirts for douchebags.

Learned something new today.
 
2014-03-06 03:46:12 PM  

TinyFist: I didn't even know Under Armour made underwear. I just thought they made tight fitting shirts for douchebags.

Learned something new today.


As a non-douche user of Under Armor, let me tell you how goddamn comfy those things are!

They're goddamn comfy.

/tip the waitress
 
2014-03-06 03:46:46 PM  
Wouldn't armored underwear keep one from going ATM?
 
2014-03-06 03:52:02 PM  

What_do_you_want_now: TinyFist:
As a non-douche user of Under Armor, let me tell you how goddamn comfy those things are!

They're goddamn comfy.


Don't you blaspheme in here!

i1309.photobucket.com
 
2014-03-06 03:59:52 PM  
activeladieswear.com

Bank robbing material
 
2014-03-06 04:00:02 PM  

cretinbob: Have you seen his penis?


It was unremarkable.
 
2014-03-06 04:01:31 PM  

TinyFist: What_do_you_want_now: TinyFist:
As a non-douche user of Under Armor, let me tell you how goddamn comfy those things are!

They're goddamn comfy.

Don't you blaspheme in here!

[i1309.photobucket.com image 288x210]


ic.pics.livejournal.com

Where is my fried chicken?
 
2014-03-06 04:02:31 PM  
Armored for sexy time..

beefyhouse.files.wordpress.com
 
2014-03-06 04:05:45 PM  
Mother of god.
 
2014-03-06 04:07:58 PM  

TinyFist: I didn't even know Under Armour made underwear. I just thought they made tight fitting shirts for douchebags.

Learned something new today.


Their Catalyst line of recycled PET bottle shirts are comfey as all get out, and not stretchy-tight.  Smooth as silk, never fade, and last forever.
 
2014-03-06 04:08:44 PM  
Protect ya nuts.
 
2014-03-06 04:09:01 PM  
Loot of the Loom?
 
2014-03-06 04:16:24 PM  
I find armored underwear a bit uncomfortable in cold weather.

/I was in the pool!!
 
2014-03-06 04:19:55 PM  
Of course, being Gawker, they say this:
Among several other charges, he was arrested for being a felon in possession of body armor.

LOL!! HA HA!! What a moron!! If he only hadn't made that armored underwear, right??!?!?

Of course, they act like they had never said THIS right beforehand:


Along with the pepper spray and the torch, Fischer was also equipped with a knife, a stun gun, two ballistic vests...

Wait, so even without the silly underwear, he would have been arrested for "begin a felon in possession of body armor"?
 
2014-03-06 04:20:34 PM  

blatz514: Armored for sexy time..


That's going to chafe my willy!
 
2014-03-06 04:24:15 PM  

just_intonation: blatz514: Armored for sexy time..

That's going to chafe my willy!


Uncle Jim taught me about the many uses for hand lotion.
 
2014-03-06 04:39:32 PM  
www.pastrypal.com
Blowtorch


image.moparmusclemagazine.com
Cutting torch


Can you spot the difference? Apparently most reporters can't.
 
2014-03-06 04:56:42 PM  
crabapplenyc.files.wordpress.com
 
2014-03-06 04:58:56 PM  

monoski: Bank robbing material


Their website is softcore porn. Try to buy something for someone and you end up feeling guilty
 
2014-03-06 05:02:35 PM  
He attempted to hold off the officers with pepper spray

Pepper Spray Vs. Guns
Place your bets now
 
2014-03-06 05:04:17 PM  
FTFA: "...and those magic underpants."
img.fark.net
What magic underwear might look like
 
2014-03-06 05:07:29 PM  
Why would you need an armored anything to rob a machine?
 
2014-03-06 05:14:23 PM  
He was just servicing that ATM.
s30.postimg.org
 
2014-03-06 05:16:35 PM  
from the article linked to in the gawker article....

It wasn't just armored underwear, it was armored undergarmets for the areas not protected by the bullet-proof vest.  ie. he was literally covering his ass in case he got shot somewhere other than in the chest.
 
2014-03-06 05:16:39 PM  
http://abcnews.go.com/blogs/headlines/2014/03/thieves-riding-forklift - drive-off-with-atm/

In my home town we just rip the whole thing out with Industrial Vehicles.
 
2014-03-06 05:40:15 PM  

pkrzycki: It wasn't just armored underwear, it was armored undergarmets for the areas not protected by the bullet-proof vest. ie. he was literally covering his ass in case he got shot somewhere other than in the chest.


Given how many 'went for the nuts' taser articles we see in a year, I suppose I can't blame him for the kevlar codpiece.
 
2014-03-06 05:49:38 PM  

neversubmit: Wouldn't armored underwear keep one from going ATM?


I giggled.
 
2014-03-06 06:15:30 PM  

smurfnazi: neversubmit: Wouldn't armored underwear keep one from going ATM?

I giggled.


I concur. Winner.

Also...

Skank! Skank! Skank!
 
2014-03-06 07:52:49 PM  

pkrzycki: from the article linked to in the gawker article....

It wasn't just armored underwear, it was armored undergarmets for the areas not protected by the bullet-proof vest.  ie. he was literally covering his ass in case he got shot somewhere other than in the chest.


And, just like in the North Hollywood shootout, he simply encourages the cops to take the head shot.

I'm not a man, so I don't know the degree of fear engendered, but I'd take a Taser in the nuts to a bullet in the head any day.
 
2014-03-06 10:19:54 PM  

Walker: He attempted to hold off the officers with pepper spray

Pepper Spray Vs. Guns
Place your bets now


There was one of those situations a little over 20 years.  A idiot and his step-son tried to rob some armored car guards by spraying them with Mace.  They started spraying a little too far away and the guards responded with their own spray of bullets.  The step-son caught one in the face, but, lived.  It probably sounded like a good plan when they were drunk.
 
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