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(Huffington Post)   College students have discovered this newfangled thing called "anal sex". What WILL they think of next?   (huffingtonpost.com) divider line 62
    More: Asinine, sex columnist  
•       •       •

13328 clicks; posted to Main » on 06 Mar 2014 at 8:50 AM (20 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



Voting Results (Funniest)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

2014-03-06 09:32:17 AM
9 votes:

King Something: walkerhound: vudukungfu: TheCableGuy: Brown University.

*Giggle*.

Isn't that where that Harry Potter chick went?
Don't make me post her name.
I promised the judge I wouldn't

This one?
[static.fjcdn.com image 391x244]

You wouldn't happen to have the unedited original, would you?


www.celebrityvalues.com
2014-03-06 08:53:09 AM
9 votes:
Brown University.

*Giggle*.
2014-03-06 09:09:29 AM
5 votes:

here to help: Most girls won't let me stick it in their pooper (too big) and frankly I'm okay with that. Anal sex smells awful.


Maybe you should try using your penis next time, Gonzo.

/hey baby, wanna get felt?
2014-03-06 09:37:06 AM
4 votes:
Be careful, it's usually well-guarded.

i.imgur.com
2014-03-06 09:29:37 AM
4 votes:
31.media.tumblr.com
2014-03-06 09:16:54 AM
4 votes:
Anal? We didn't even have dental when I was in college. Thanks, Obamacare.

img.fark.net
2014-03-06 09:01:36 AM
4 votes:

here to help: Most girls won't let me stick it in their pooper (too big) and frankly I'm okay with that. Anal sex smells awful.


And if she has been eating peanuts, your dick looks like a Payday candy bar when you pull it out.

/not really
2014-03-06 08:58:53 AM
4 votes:

vudukungfu: TheCableGuy: Brown University.

*Giggle*.

Isn't that where that Harry Potter chick went?
Don't make me post her name.
I promised the judge I wouldn't


This one?
static.fjcdn.com
2014-03-06 08:56:33 AM
4 votes:

TheCableGuy: Brown University.

*Giggle*.


Glad I am not only one who thought that would be a great euphemism.

"So, what are you and Lisa doing tonight?"
"Well, I think we are going to hang out. Have a few beers. Watch some television. And if I play my cards right, I think might be going to Brown University tonight."
"Allllriiiggghhhhttt."
2014-03-06 09:00:13 AM
3 votes:
A friend of mine works in an old folks home, she told me that a lot of the old ladies have trouble holding in their shiat because they used anal sex as birth control.
She says that she is constantly cleaning up after them.
Have a nice day!
d23 [TotalFark]
2014-03-06 09:00:01 AM
3 votes:

here to help: Most girls won't let me stick it in their pooper (too big) and frankly I'm okay with that. Anal sex smells awful.


thanks.  I needed that information.
2014-03-06 08:54:45 AM
3 votes:
fbcdn-sphotos-g-a.akamaihd.net
d23 [TotalFark]
2014-03-06 08:53:24 AM
3 votes:
www.roflcat.com
2014-03-06 11:56:51 AM
2 votes:
It's also a good loophole if you're a conservative Christian, since you're still technically a virgin afterwards  (nsfw).
2014-03-06 11:22:02 AM
2 votes:
1.bp.blogspot.com
2014-03-06 11:15:23 AM
2 votes:

TheShavingofOccam123: Modern Americans will also discover the joys of fissures, tears, cancers and lots of other wonderful things associated with opening Pandora's second box.

But please be more modern than your parents. While your genitals don't weep.


I loved Eric Clapton's solo on that song.
2014-03-06 10:13:40 AM
2 votes:

assets.nydailynews.com

Hey guys, what's going on in this thread?

2014-03-06 10:08:58 AM
2 votes:
All of you Farkers are hating on a tradition you know nothing about, you all must have been pencil-necked pizza-faced geeks in the Chess Club, fraternity brothers get access to more top-shelf pussy than you could shake a stick at, and the relationships you make in the Brotherhood will last you a lifetime. What? Oh, anal sex with chicks? I mean yeah, of course with chicks!
2014-03-06 09:03:50 AM
2 votes:

WTFDYW: here to help: Most girls won't let me stick it in their pooper (too big) and frankly I'm okay with that. Anal sex smells awful.

And if she has been eating peanuts, your dick looks like a Payday candy bar when you pull it out.

/not really


If she had corn for dinner, you can call your dick "Cobb".
2014-03-06 09:02:09 AM
2 votes:

mekki: TheCableGuy: Brown University.

*Giggle*.

Glad I am not only one who thought that would be a great euphemism.

"So, what are you and Lisa doing tonight?"
"Well, I think we are going to hang out. Have a few beers. Watch some television. And if I play my cards right, I think might be going to Brown University tonight."
"Allllriiiggghhhhttt."


I think you're onto something.

first time: I just enrolled at Brown U.
she said no: I got expelled from Brown U.
done it before, but not with this person: I'm tutoring a transfer student from Brown U.
pickup line in a bar: Hey, baby, I need three more credits to graduate from Brown U.
2014-03-06 09:00:32 AM
2 votes:

walkerhound: vudukungfu: TheCableGuy: Brown University.

*Giggle*.

Isn't that where that Harry Potter chick went?
Don't make me post her name.
I promised the judge I wouldn't

This one?
[static.fjcdn.com image 391x244]


You wouldn't happen to have the unedited original, would you?
2014-03-06 08:56:07 AM
2 votes:

TheCableGuy: Brown University.

*Giggle*.


Isn't that where that Harry Potter chick went?
Don't make me post her name.
I promised the judge I wouldn't
2014-03-06 04:03:03 PM
1 votes:
Have any of you ever been with a woman who did not have an anus?
2014-03-06 03:54:44 PM
1 votes:

ChipNASA: [1.bp.blogspot.com image 304x232]


imageshack.com
2014-03-06 02:53:43 PM
1 votes:

DarkVader: Step 1:  Black sheets.

Step 2:  Black towels.

The bloodstains don't show, so you don't have to rush to do laundry.

Oh, and peroxide takes out bloodstains.  Works for her underwear too.


img.fark.net
2014-03-06 02:24:45 PM
1 votes:

teenytinycornteeth: ransack.: E5bie: Fissile: ransack.: My girlfriend enjoys and usually initiates butt sex, and yes, I've had poo on my wiener. I always pee as soon as I can to clean the poo particles out of my urethra, though. I've never had a UTI. Personally, I've no preference, I just do what I'm told.

You had Poop-Peter?  How can that be?  I've been informed by others on this thread  that never happens.

To avoid poop-Peter, the receiving party needs to poop, and then employ an enema.  Even then, they are no guarantees.  As I've said, you like it?  Go right ahead.  Me?

[i0.kym-cdn.com image 272x272]

YMMV. To each their own. I have occasionally wondered about the relative level of horror associated with fish-dick, vinegar-dick, sourdough-dick, light-spotting-dick and the ol' crimson-surprise, any comments?

Blood doesn't bother me at all, FWIW. My first sexual partner always got very horny when her period began and I was 16 so I just went along with it, and found it didn't bother me at all, aside from ruined sheets.

Nothing turns me off faster than the prospect of having to do laundry immediately after having sex. And that's why I put on the "closed for renovation" underpants one week a month.


Step 1:  Black sheets.

Step 2:  Black towels.

The bloodstains don't show, so you don't have to rush to do laundry.

Oh, and peroxide takes out bloodstains.  Works for her underwear too.
2014-03-06 02:14:58 PM
1 votes:

monoski: Nothing wrong with a little mud on the helmet but I prefer to have a raincoat on. That whole poop stain and UTI thing sounds nasty.
//shocked there were not more Santorum jokes. Don't let that frothy meme die off folks.


i512.photobucket.com
2014-03-06 02:03:58 PM
1 votes:
img.fark.net
2014-03-06 01:56:02 PM
1 votes:
There once were two cowboys all alone out in the woods and they found out you can have sex with another man now theyre having buttsex, cowboy buttsex, sodomeeeeeeey
2014-03-06 01:44:55 PM
1 votes:
ts2.mm.bing.net
But you can tell daddy your still a virgin.
2014-03-06 12:53:04 PM
1 votes:

Valiente: blatz514: Koodz: I've had more clots than poop on mine.

I really shouldn't be reading this while eating a brat.

[www.ar15.com image 225x556]

Dude, kinda risky signing one out during a school day, no?


media0.giphy.com

/lulz
2014-03-06 12:44:06 PM
1 votes:

blatz514: Koodz: I've had more clots than poop on mine.

I really shouldn't be reading this while eating a brat.


www.ar15.com

Dude, kinda risky signing one out during a school day, no?
2014-03-06 12:43:16 PM
1 votes:

MadMattressMack: On a some what related note it looks like housewives are getting in on the action, so to speak. I saw this Suburban on the way home yesterday. I think that's how she got that car.

[img.fark.net image 850x610]


www.survivinggrady.com
2014-03-06 12:17:24 PM
1 votes:
img.fark.net
2014-03-06 11:55:26 AM
1 votes:
I had a gf that was way into it, I would work her ass while she was on vibrator duty up front. She would have deep, churning orgasms that made me feel like I stuck my dick in a cow milking machine. Why yes, she was crazy.
2014-03-06 11:54:33 AM
1 votes:
2014-03-06 11:37:31 AM
1 votes:
www.bbc.co.uk
2014-03-06 11:04:38 AM
1 votes:
Modern Americans will also discover the joys of fissures, tears, cancers and lots of other wonderful things associated with opening Pandora's second box.

But please be more modern than your parents. While your genitals don't weep.
2014-03-06 10:56:53 AM
1 votes:

verbaltoxin: slayer199: I was born 30 years too late.  A majority of women with shaved beavers, enjoying buttsecks...damn.

Someone explain to me why a vagina shaved clean to look prepubescent is hot, and why it's so common.


It's an evolutionary psychology thing. See, men are attracted to women who can produce healthy babies. To produce healthy babies, the woman needs a healthy immune system. If a woman can shave clean with no bumps, and not get razor burn or irritation down there, not even on the panty line or in the delicate folds of skin that rub together 12-hour stubble like hell's sandpaper, then that woman has a great immune system.
2014-03-06 10:46:53 AM
1 votes:
Technical virgin is the best kind of virgin.
2014-03-06 10:39:40 AM
1 votes:
I was born 30 years too late.  A majority of women with shaved beavers, enjoying buttsecks...damn.
2014-03-06 10:12:59 AM
1 votes:
What what?
2014-03-06 10:04:13 AM
1 votes:

verbaltoxin: Random Anonymous Blackmail: So you are saying that porn stars are actors and the situations they are in are sometimes unrealistic. I though every woman was a squirter.

No to become a pizza delivery guy for a college campus.

Oh yeah, all women moan like banshees during sex, they want their orifices pounded non-stop for 30 minutes or more without extra lubrication, they all squirt, all take it up the sh*tter, and every. single. college girl is bi-curious. Every one of them.

They just don't want to do any of that stuff with you. Sorry.


Yes, yes they do.  Some of them just don't know it yet.
2014-03-06 09:56:21 AM
1 votes:

here to help: MemeSlave: here to help: Most girls won't let me stick it in their pooper (too big) and frankly I'm okay with that. Anal sex smells awful.

Then you're doing it wrong.   Unless "awful" means "lube smell".

Unless the catcher gives themselves an enema and an ass douche right before the action starts there IS going to be poop particles. Asses are kind of where poop lives.

Not being a misogynistic frat boy peckerhead I don't expect a woman to do all that prep work for something they aren't even designed to enjoy (unlike men who do have pleasure receptors in their butts). If they are REALLY into it and want me to plow the stink I will accommodate them however I have met very few women who were actually into it. Most seem to just do it because guys think it's teh bestest thing evar! It really isn't and it seems to be mostly a dominance/degradation thing for a lot of guys.

That's not to say there aren't woman out there who LOVE pooper sex but they are quite rare in my experience. I think I've only had one girl ask for me to drop it in there. Even then I think she was just trying to turn me on.


I have this hypothesis that the number of women who love anal sex is roughly equal to the number of men who love receiving it.
I haven't actually done any research on this, but I bet it's true. Anybody got stats?
2014-03-06 09:55:06 AM
1 votes:
imageshack.com

Buncha preverts.
2014-03-06 09:45:29 AM
1 votes:
Don't you kids get it?  You may think going anal is cool, butt there are consequences sneaking up behind you.  And they can be a real pain in the ass!  This hole fad smells like shiat, even if the thought of it gives you a shiat eating grin.

So here's the straight poop on the tissue:  Anal sex will just make look like an ass to your friends.


/it's the end of times, I tell you!
2014-03-06 09:43:59 AM
1 votes:

ChrisDe: mekki: TheCableGuy: Brown University.

*Giggle*.

Glad I am not only one who thought that would be a great euphemism.

"So, what are you and Lisa doing tonight?"
"Well, I think we are going to hang out. Have a few beers. Watch some television. And if I play my cards right, I think might be going to Brown University tonight."
"Allllriiiggghhhhttt."

I think you're onto something.

first time: I just enrolled at Brown U.
she said no: I got expelled from Brown U.
done it before, but not with this person: I'm tutoring a transfer student from Brown U.
pickup line in a bar: Hey, baby, I need three more credits to graduate from Brown U.


I'm lecturing at Brown U. : giving a rim-job.
2014-03-06 09:38:18 AM
1 votes:
Yes Yes, and they all have rainbow parties where digital drugs are played on TV's and the jankum flows.
2014-03-06 09:34:15 AM
1 votes:

Fissile: I really don't understand the appeal of anal....


For one thing, it doubles your chances of finding a partner.
2014-03-06 09:24:50 AM
1 votes:
I tried to go to Brown University last weekend but I didn't get admitted : (
2014-03-06 09:24:29 AM
1 votes:
College Kid #1 - "I'm pretty sure my roommate's gay."

College Kid #2 - "What makes you say that?"

College Kid #1 - "His dick tastes like shiat."
2014-03-06 09:24:17 AM
1 votes:

Valiente: Twenty-one was a different story.


Bend a few birches back in your day?
2014-03-06 09:22:27 AM
1 votes:

FatherChaos: [fbcdn-sphotos-g-a.akamaihd.net image 403x318]


www.funnywallphotos.com
2014-03-06 09:21:20 AM
1 votes:
Shenanigans
sicollegefootball.files.wordpress.com
2014-03-06 09:13:48 AM
1 votes:

Random Anonymous Blackmail: So you are saying that porn stars are actors and the situations they are in are sometimes unrealistic. I though every woman was a squirter.

No to become a pizza delivery guy for a college campus.


Oh yeah, all women moan like banshees during sex, they want their orifices pounded non-stop for 30 minutes or more without extra lubrication, they all squirt, all take it up the sh*tter, and every. single. college girl is bi-curious. Every one of them.

They just don't want to do any of that stuff with you. Sorry.
2014-03-06 09:02:04 AM
1 votes:

walkerhound: vudukungfu: TheCableGuy: Brown University.

*Giggle*.

Isn't that where that Harry Potter chick went?
Don't make me post her name.
I promised the judge I wouldn't

This one?


Do you have the original picture of that?

/oblig
2014-03-06 09:01:17 AM
1 votes:
verbaltoxin



Of course they're trying it. Anal is as normal in porn as facial cumshots. And young people are dumb enough to think it's actually comfortable or fun to have sex like people do in porn.


So you are saying that porn stars are actors and the situations they are in are sometimes unrealistic. I though every woman was a squirter.

No to become a pizza delivery guy for a college campus.
2014-03-06 09:00:56 AM
1 votes:

d23: here to help: Most girls won't let me stick it in their pooper (too big) and frankly I'm okay with that. Anal sex smells awful.

thanks.  I needed that information.


/here to help
2014-03-06 08:59:44 AM
1 votes:

walkerhound: vudukungfu: TheCableGuy: Brown University.

*Giggle*.

Isn't that where that Harry Potter chick went?
Don't make me post her name.
I promised the judge I wouldn't

This one?
[static.fjcdn.com image 391x244]


Do you have the original of that?
d23 [TotalFark]
2014-03-06 08:57:43 AM
1 votes:

vudukungfu: TheCableGuy: Brown University.

*Giggle*.

Isn't that where that Harry Potter chick went?
Don't make me post her name.
I promised the judge I wouldn't


img.fark.net

Does she or doesn't she?  She had to have hooked up at least once... maybe someone knows.
2014-03-06 08:56:43 AM
1 votes:
The reporter fails for not including a Rick Santorum quote or reference.
2014-03-06 08:56:32 AM
1 votes:
Those wacky college kids, always inventing new ways to have sex. Bless their hearts.
 
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