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(Some Guy)   Here are some things that can kill you in the face from the Land Down Nope   (ohnblog.com) divider line 91
    More: Scary  
•       •       •

10617 clicks; posted to Main » on 05 Mar 2014 at 8:43 PM (42 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



91 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

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2014-03-05 08:45:35 PM  
Everything except the sheep, and they're kinda shady.
 
2014-03-05 08:47:23 PM  
Nope. Not gonna read that dumbass blog.
 
2014-03-05 08:48:51 PM  
FTFA:

KILL THE SHYT OUT OF YOU! This lil bytch is EXTRA poisonous and is covered with needle ass needle stabby shyts

Can someone please feed this mallethead to a crocodile?
 
2014-03-05 08:49:15 PM  
Drop bears? Nope.
 
2014-03-05 08:51:32 PM  

AbiNormal: Nope. Not gonna read that dumbass blog.


You're one of the lucky ones
 
2014-03-05 08:51:46 PM  
Ok that was painful to read.
 
2014-03-05 08:53:03 PM  
i0.kym-cdn.com
 
2014-03-05 08:53:15 PM  
Lame drop bear jokes aside, apparently koalas can actually mess you pretty bad with their claws.
 
2014-03-05 08:53:27 PM  
SOME of the sheep.
 
2014-03-05 08:53:58 PM  

Sensei Can You See: FTFA:

KILL THE SHYT OUT OF YOU! This lil bytch is EXTRA poisonous and is covered with needle ass needle stabby shyts

Can someone please feed this mallethead to a crocodile?


lol bytch y u hatin on mai writin STYLE ASS STYLE?

//I need to go throw up now
 
2014-03-05 08:54:20 PM  
That blog killed my soul in the face from the Land Down Sucks Huge Donkey Balls til They Are Shriveled Prunes Cuz Gross Stuff is Now in Places that Make Me Puke.
 
2014-03-05 08:54:30 PM  

pyrotek85: Ok that was painful to read.


Link farked, lucky me.
 
2014-03-05 08:54:32 PM  
When stuff like this gets greened on Fark I always wonder if it was the blog writer who submitted it, hoping for a few more precious clicks... and I always wonder how the blog writer feels when he sees the Fark Snark rip into him.

If you're reading this, dear blogger, if you write a cuss word, we can read the cuss word, even if you use a "Y" instead of an "I". That's just annoying.
 
2014-03-05 08:58:49 PM  
WTF did I just read? That read like a 13 year old cracker trying to write how he seems to think black people talk.
 
2014-03-05 08:59:40 PM  
I wouldn't mind going to Australia.  But go outside any major Australian city?

www.fugly.com
 
2014-03-05 09:00:55 PM  
this blog needs to be put down
 
2014-03-05 09:01:17 PM  
Shyyyyyyyyyt byyyyyotch meeee is Aussyyyy with cool wryting stylllleeeee!
 
2014-03-05 09:03:07 PM  

Dingleberry Dickwad: WTF did I just read? That read like a 13 year old cracker trying to write how he seems to think black people talk.


I think you nailed it. It's too stereotypical, and anyone older would likely realize how bad it sounds out loud.
 
2014-03-05 09:06:54 PM  

geoduck42: Lame drop bear jokes aside, apparently koalas can actually mess you pretty bad with their claws.


Yeah, everyone thinks they are cute and cuddly until one rips your face off.
 
2014-03-05 09:07:44 PM  
I'll give you a pass on "tyres" because how would a land peopled entirely by criminals know any better.

But that's it. The rest is on you.
 
2014-03-05 09:09:16 PM  
I got through maybe a paragraph before I had to leave the page.  Not because of the animals, but because of the nigh on illiterate babble the author spewed all over the page.  Whoever that person is needs to haul their ass back to grammar school and re-take English, because I don't think they know it very well.
 
2014-03-05 09:11:56 PM  

rooftop235: geoduck42: Lame drop bear jokes aside, apparently koalas can actually mess you pretty bad with their claws.

Yeah, everyone thinks they are cute and cuddly until one rips your face off.


like Russian women.
 
2014-03-05 09:12:10 PM  
i see he banned Australia from his sight.  maybe he'll ban the rest of the world too before the next time somebody fark-links this garbage.
 
2014-03-05 09:16:54 PM  

AbiNormal: Nope. Not gonna read that dumbass blog.


You are smart. I am stupid.
 
2014-03-05 09:17:28 PM  
Hawaii has those snails, box jellies, giant centipedes and a close relative of the stonefish.

But people still go there, and SHYT.
 
2014-03-05 09:17:32 PM  
That had the potential for a good read, but the guy's writing style is very off-putting. Couldn't even finish reading it because of that.

And I wanted to kick him in the crotch for each & every misuse of "it's" (it is).
 
2014-03-05 09:18:02 PM  
I don't like buzzfeed.
 
2014-03-05 09:19:19 PM  
Blue-ringed octopus. You're a little kid exploring a tidal pool at the beach when BAM! YOU'RE DEAD!

The blue-ringed octopus is 12 to 20 cm (5 to 8 in), but its venom is powerful enough to kill humans. No blue-ringed octopus antivenom is available yet, making it one of the deadliest reef inhabitants in the ocean. The octopus produces venom containing tetrodotoxin, histamine, tryptamine, octopamine, taurine, acetylcholine, and dopamine. The major neurotoxin component of the blue-ringed octopus is a venom that was originally known as maculotoxin but was later found to be identical to tetrodotoxin, a neurotoxin also found in pufferfish and some poison dart frogs that is 1200 times more toxic than cyanide. Tetrodotoxin blocks sodium channels, causing motor paralysis and respiratory arrest within minutes of exposure, leading to cardiac arrest due to a lack of oxygen. The toxin is produced by bacteria in the salivary glands of the octopus. Their venom can result in nausea, respiratory arrest, heart failure, severe and sometimes total paralysis and blindness and can lead to death within minutes if not treated. Death is usually from suffocation due to lack of oxygen to the brain.

You're dead kid, you're dead.
 
2014-03-05 09:19:31 PM  
This one tried to strangle my forearm:

img.fark.net

But I let it go after a stern warning.
 
2014-03-05 09:20:21 PM  

Skleenar: Hawaii has those snails, box jellies, giant centipedes and a close relative of the stonefish.

But people still go there, and SHYT.


But no snakes brah.
 
2014-03-05 09:21:08 PM  
That blog ass blog sucked ass sucked.

(blank) ass (blank)
(blank) ass (blank)
(blank) ass (blank)
(blank) ass (blank)

How about no?  I was going to go with Australian 'Ebonics', but I  like the juvenile cracker setup better.

\Still, Aerial Assault Bears would be a great band name, especially if they looked like ZZ Top but were gay.
 
2014-03-05 09:23:23 PM  

ol' gormsby: This one tried to strangle my forearm:

[img.fark.net image 571x439]

But I let it go after a stern warning.


Chuck Norris?  Is that you?
 
2014-03-05 09:25:02 PM  

Walker: But no snakes brah.


'cause get manō .

Now with frickin gopros on their fins, apparently.
 
2014-03-05 09:29:16 PM  
But enough about the ladies...
 
2014-03-05 09:30:45 PM  

WTFDYW: AbiNormal: Nope. Not gonna read that dumbass blog.

You are smart. I am stupid.


If you liked that, then yes, you are.
 
2014-03-05 09:31:20 PM  

ol' gormsby: This one tried to strangle my forearm:

[img.fark.net image 571x439]

But I let it go after a stern warning.


Nice carpet python!
 
2014-03-05 09:32:04 PM  
tl;dr version: Damn, Nature! You scary!
 
2014-03-05 09:33:57 PM  

Dingleberry Dickwad: WTF did I just read? That read like a 13 year old cracker trying to write how he seems to think black people talk.


close.  you are close my friend.
 
2014-03-05 09:34:53 PM  
#11 - Vegemite.
 
2014-03-05 09:38:44 PM  

crotchgrabber: If you're reading this, dear blogger, if you write a cuss word, we can read the cuss word, even if you use a "Y" instead of an "I". That's just annoying.


You realize you're writing this on a website with an active filter that changes the spelling of swears and has other effects too, right?

/Nubian, please.
 
2014-03-05 09:41:43 PM  

juvandy: ol' gormsby: This one tried to strangle my forearm:

[img.fark.net image 571x439]

But I let it go after a stern warning.

Nice carpet python!


Yeah, not really scary. It was about 6' long. OTOH, I wouldn't want to be a crocodile right now.

/ a python bit me once
// no, realli !
/// lots of tiny, sharp little teeth
//// left a V-shaped row of little pinpricks on my hand
 
2014-03-05 09:42:15 PM  
Was that a sponsored link? Because I wouldn't promote it unless you paid me to.
 
2014-03-05 09:42:43 PM  

Walker: Blue-ringed octopus. You're a little kid exploring a tidal pool at the beach when BAM! YOU'RE DEAD!

The blue-ringed octopus is 12 to 20 cm (5 to 8 in), but its venom is powerful enough to kill humans. No blue-ringed octopus antivenom is available yet, making it one of the deadliest reef inhabitants in the ocean. The octopus produces venom containing tetrodotoxin, histamine, tryptamine, octopamine, taurine, acetylcholine, and dopamine. The major neurotoxin component of the blue-ringed octopus is a venom that was originally known as maculotoxin but was later found to be identical to tetrodotoxin, a neurotoxin also found in pufferfish and some poison dart frogs that is 1200 times more toxic than cyanide. Tetrodotoxin blocks sodium channels, causing motor paralysis and respiratory arrest within minutes of exposure, leading to cardiac arrest due to a lack of oxygen. The toxin is produced by bacteria in the salivary glands of the octopus. Their venom can result in nausea, respiratory arrest, heart failure, severe and sometimes total paralysis and blindness and can lead to death within minutes if not treated. Death is usually from suffocation due to lack of oxygen to the brain.

You're dead kid, you're dead.


CSB: When I was in elementary school we went to a beach near Melbourne on a school trip to see life in rock pools - star fish, minnows, anemones, shellfish, etc etc. Anyway - one of the kids managed to fish out a blue ringed octopus. The teacher put it in a glass container, showed it to all of us, explained that we are absolutely not to touch one if we saw it and then put it back in the pool.

They're actually very docile and IIRC there's only been three recorded deaths due to bites - normally when people go out of their way to pick them up. the good survival rate is partly because as long as you have someone on hand to give mouth-to-mouth until you get to the hospital you'll be OK as the toxin doesn't stop the heart or cause you to go unconscious.
 
2014-03-05 09:43:12 PM  
The animals and such were interesting but the writing sucked donkey ass.
 
2014-03-05 09:43:20 PM  
One of my favorite places I visited in Kuranda years ago was the Australian Venom Zoo. Tour guide was teasing the world's deadliest scorpion with a pencil. Like dead in minutes deadly. Freaky shiat but really interesting. Watched cool venom milkings.

/this cool story brought to you by Bro. Incorporated
 
2014-03-05 09:45:58 PM  
That was the dumbest thing I've ever read, and I come from the land of cobbers, larrikins and bludging galahs.
 
2014-03-05 09:46:35 PM  

Target Builder: Walker: Blue-ringed octopus. You're a little kid exploring a tidal pool at the beach when BAM! YOU'RE DEAD!

The blue-ringed octopus is 12 to 20 cm (5 to 8 in), but its venom is powerful enough to kill humans. No blue-ringed octopus antivenom is available yet, making it one of the deadliest reef inhabitants in the ocean. The octopus produces venom containing tetrodotoxin, histamine, tryptamine, octopamine, taurine, acetylcholine, and dopamine. The major neurotoxin component of the blue-ringed octopus is a venom that was originally known as maculotoxin but was later found to be identical to tetrodotoxin, a neurotoxin also found in pufferfish and some poison dart frogs that is 1200 times more toxic than cyanide. Tetrodotoxin blocks sodium channels, causing motor paralysis and respiratory arrest within minutes of exposure, leading to cardiac arrest due to a lack of oxygen. The toxin is produced by bacteria in the salivary glands of the octopus. Their venom can result in nausea, respiratory arrest, heart failure, severe and sometimes total paralysis and blindness and can lead to death within minutes if not treated. Death is usually from suffocation due to lack of oxygen to the brain.

You're dead kid, you're dead.

CSB: When I was in elementary school we went to a beach near Melbourne on a school trip to see life in rock pools - star fish, minnows, anemones, shellfish, etc etc. Anyway - one of the kids managed to fish out a blue ringed octopus. The teacher put it in a glass container, showed it to all of us, explained that we are absolutely not to touch one if we saw it and then put it back in the pool.

They're actually very docile and IIRC there's only been three recorded deaths due to bites - normally when people go out of their way to pick them up. the good survival rate is partly because as long as you have someone on hand to give mouth-to-mouth until you get to the hospital you'll be OK as the toxin doesn't stop the heart or cause you to go unconscious.


I also liked the part that said "The blue-ringed octopus, despite its small size, carries enough venom to kill 26 adult humans within minutes. Their bites are tiny and often painless, with many victims not realizing they have been envenomated until respiratory depression and paralysis start to set in. "

So you don't realize you've been bitten until you're just about dead.
 
2014-03-05 09:47:33 PM  

Target Builder: They're actually very docile


i.imgur.com

Do you know what else is a slow, lumbering docile creature?
 
2014-03-05 09:53:24 PM  
imageshack.com
 
2014-03-05 10:11:37 PM  
i enjoyed that and learned something.

/terrible human being
 
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