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(Grantland)   Seriously, what's the big deal about Kate Upton (spoiler alert: It's boobs)   (grantland.com) divider line 109
    More: Cool, Kate Upton, humans, Gone Girl, boobs, Jayne Mansfield, Brigitte Bardot, Christie Brinkley, Elle Macpherson  
•       •       •

11012 clicks; posted to Entertainment » on 05 Mar 2014 at 3:42 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



109 Comments   (+0 »)
   
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2014-03-05 05:22:46 PM  
media2.giphy.com
 
2014-03-05 05:33:44 PM  
Upton's boobs are tremendous.  Top-notch.

But I'm more of an hourglass figure guy, and her stomach does nothing for me.  Kinda thick through the middle with no shape.  And although she's very pretty, she's in the third quartile for models.

Like Jennifer Lawrence, she has an approachable down-to-Earth personality, and personality goes a long way.  (just read that in Samuel L. Jackson's voice)
 
2014-03-05 05:39:04 PM  

Banned on the Run: Upton's boobs are tremendous.  Top-notch.

But I'm more of an hourglass figure guy, and her stomach does nothing for me.  Kinda thick through the middle with no shape.  And although she's very pretty, she's in the third quartile for models.

Like Jennifer Lawrence, she has an approachable down-to-Earth personality, and personality goes a long way.  (just read that in Samuel L. Jackson's voice)


Sounds better in Morgan Freeman's voice, and even better in Jennifer Lawrence's voice.
 
2014-03-05 05:43:43 PM  

The Stealth Hippopotamus: Really that's all that is interesting about her.




But that's enough


Oh I don't know... I also find her pussy pretty interesting and tasty I'll bet.
 
2014-03-05 05:49:03 PM  
Billie Piper?


NO. fark that living wolvertoon
 
2014-03-05 05:54:41 PM  
Epic boobs, cute face. I think she's over-rated, but that's just me. If she put on a little muscle and lost a few pounds of fat she'd be completely slammin' in my book
 
2014-03-05 06:04:58 PM  

Dr Jack Badofsky: Banned on the Run: Upton's boobs are tremendous.  Top-notch.

But I'm more of an hourglass figure guy, and her stomach does nothing for me.  Kinda thick through the middle with no shape.  And although she's very pretty, she's in the third quartile for models.

Like Jennifer Lawrence, she has an approachable down-to-Earth personality, and personality goes a long way.  (just read that in Samuel L. Jackson's voice)

Sounds better in Morgan Freeman's voice, and even better in Jennifer Lawrence's voice.


Now I'm trying to imagine Jennifer Lawrence saying "Titty sprinkles".
 
2014-03-05 06:08:36 PM  

fusillade762: Now I'm trying to imagine Jennifer Lawrence saying "Titty sprinkles".


img.fark.net
 
2014-03-05 06:22:28 PM  
"I didn't want to be the one to tell him, but with those narrow hips, that girl couldn't have more than 6 or 7 children!"
 
2014-03-05 06:23:35 PM  
Although Kate Upton is still a far cry from the models used in Dove's "Real Beauty" campaign and its ilk, she is much closer to them than any major supermodel in years if not decades, yet is still widely acknowledged as being mind-shatteringly attractive.

Baby steps.
 
2014-03-05 06:26:13 PM  

ReapTheChaos: Not only that, but give her 20 years and she's gunna be a heffer. I bet she's 275-300 by the time she's mid 40s, especially if she has a few kids.


That's what I love about fapping to a picture of a 21-year-old. I get older, she stays the same age.
 
2014-03-05 06:37:43 PM  
I think that there should be a new rule on Fark that when you diss a girl who has made millions for being pretty that they should have to put a pic of them along with pics of every girl they have dated.

//She's Canadian, you wouldn't know her.
 
2014-03-05 06:43:24 PM  
It's times like this when I think of the sage words of Joe Walsh... (might be NSFW)

Uh Huh
I like big tits
You see 'em on the street
Left and right
I like big tits...(that's right!)
I try to look away but I can't resist
Every time I try to call it quits
Hear come some tits, uh huh, thats a big 10-4

Uh huh
I like big tits
Tits
Well they come in twos
Hard to choose
Your favorite tit

Uh huh
I like tits for dinner, or a noontime snack
I like tits for lunch (a big tit attack!)
I like tits for breakfast
Eggs Benedict tits
What it is tits what it is
They're where it's at
Tits
They give me shivers when they bounce around
Puckered up or hanging on the ground
I like big tits

Uh huh
Tits...says it all for me
Tits

us.cdn281.fansshare.com

The wisdom of the ages...
 
2014-03-05 07:19:48 PM  
and just because....

i216.photobucket.com


This pic oozes the personality that makes her more popular than what looks alone get her
i216.photobucket.com
 
2014-03-05 07:46:23 PM  

dryknife: How does her mole move from one side of her lip to the other throughout the pictures?


i.imgur.com
What mole?
 
2014-03-05 07:51:20 PM  

Banned on the Run: and just because....

[i216.photobucket.com image 500x720]


This pic oozes the personality that makes her more popular than what looks alone get her
[i216.photobucket.com image 500x281]


No, that's just your spooge.

I think any "personality" you infer from her pictures is all in your head. (I mean, your imagination.)
 
2014-03-05 07:55:22 PM  

foo monkey: Wellon Dowd: If it weren't for her big ole titties, nobody would give her a second glance.

Exactly.  If you can focus it past her boobs (it's not easy), she's got a beautiful face and ass.


l1.yimg.com

www.hecklerspray.com

?? ...If you say so.

I think it's the makeup and Photoshop you're admiring.
 
2014-03-05 07:59:44 PM  

Millennium: Although Kate Upton is still a far cry from the models used in Dove's "Real Beauty" campaign and its ilk, she is much closer to them than any major supermodel in years if not decades, yet is still widely acknowledged as being mind-shatteringly attractive.

Baby steps.


My understanding is that the fashion industry used women like this for a long time. Till it got tired of the focus and attention being on the tits, and not the cloth, so it switched to a much more austere look for 'catwalk perfect', which led to the long running walking coat rack model type.
 
2014-03-05 08:14:08 PM  

Nix Nightbird: foo monkey: Wellon Dowd: If it weren't for her big ole titties, nobody would give her a second glance.

Exactly.  If you can focus it past her boobs (it's not easy), she's got a beautiful face and ass.

[l1.yimg.com image 600x429]

[www.hecklerspray.com image 386x382]

?? ...If you say so.

I think it's the makeup and Photoshop you're admiring.


That's what I was trying to point out earlier, but people here at Fark don't want to hear anything bad about her. She's not ugly or anything and she's not really fat, yet. Give her time though, she has "fat tub O lard" written all over her. I'd bet the only thing keeping her in the shape she's in now is her busy lifestyle and schedule. When she slows down, especially if she has a kid or two, she's going to balloon out in a hurry.
 
2014-03-05 08:28:30 PM  
She just looks so soft.  Plus she has pretty eyes to look into when you are on top of her.
 
2014-03-05 08:51:28 PM  

ReapTheChaos: Nix Nightbird: foo monkey: Wellon Dowd: If it weren't for her big ole titties, nobody would give her a second glance.

Exactly.  If you can focus it past her boobs (it's not easy), she's got a beautiful face and ass.

[l1.yimg.com image 600x429]

[www.hecklerspray.com image 386x382]

?? ...If you say so.

I think it's the makeup and Photoshop you're admiring.

That's what I was trying to point out earlier, but people here at Fark don't want to hear anything bad about her. She's not ugly or anything and she's not really fat, yet. Give her time though, she has "fat tub O lard" written all over her. I'd bet the only thing keeping her in the shape she's in now is her busy lifestyle and schedule. When she slows down, especially if she has a kid or two, she's going to balloon out in a hurry.


Whatever. I saw Jessica Simpson at LAX when she was farking (relatively) huge and she was still smoking hot.
 
2014-03-05 08:55:59 PM  

LonMead: It's times like this when I think of the sage words of Joe Walsh... (might be NSFW)

Uh Huh
I like big tits
You see 'em on the street
Left and right
I like big tits...(that's right!)
I try to look away but I can't resist
Every time I try to call it quits
Hear come some tits, uh huh, thats a big 10-4

Uh huh
I like big tits
Tits
Well they come in twos
Hard to choose
Your favorite tit

Uh huh
I like tits for dinner, or a noontime snack
I like tits for lunch (a big tit attack!)
I like tits for breakfast
Eggs Benedict tits
What it is tits what it is
They're where it's at
Tits
They give me shivers when they bounce around
Puckered up or hanging on the ground
I like big tits

Uh huh
Tits...says it all for me
Tits



The wisdom of the ages...


I'm more about Carlin out of one of the Seven Words bits (don't remember which album it was).

Wow! And tits doesn't even belong on the list, ya know? It's such a friendly sounding word. Sounds like a nickname right? Hey Tits, come here man. It's Tits. Hey Tits meet Toots. Tits Toots, Toots Tits man. Sounds like a snack doesn't it? Yes, I know it is...Right. And I don't mean your sexist snack, I mean New Nabisco Tits. New Cheese Tits. Corn Tits and Pizza Tits and Sesame Tits and Onion Tits. Tater tits! Yeah, bet you can't eat just one, right? That's true, I usually switch off. But I mean that word does not belong on the list.
 
2014-03-05 09:02:25 PM  
"I'm a normal, red-blooded American man. I like to look at naked women. I love breasts, any kind. I love 'em! Boobs, bazooms, balloons, bags, bazongas. The bigger, the better. Nipples like udders, nipples like saucers, big pale rosy-brown nipples. Little bitty baby nipples. Real or fake, what's the difference? I like tits. Who's kidding who? Tits are great!"

Greg Kinnear as Bob Crane, Auto Focus (2002)
 
2014-03-05 09:04:47 PM  

just_intonation: LonMead: It's times like this when I think of the sage words of Joe Walsh... (might be NSFW)

Uh Huh
I like big tits
You see 'em on the street
Left and right
I like big tits...(that's right!)
I try to look away but I can't resist
Every time I try to call it quits
Hear come some tits, uh huh, thats a big 10-4

Uh huh
I like big tits
Tits
Well they come in twos
Hard to choose
Your favorite tit

Uh huh
I like tits for dinner, or a noontime snack
I like tits for lunch (a big tit attack!)
I like tits for breakfast
Eggs Benedict tits
What it is tits what it is
They're where it's at
Tits
They give me shivers when they bounce around
Puckered up or hanging on the ground
I like big tits

Uh huh
Tits...says it all for me
Tits

The wisdom of the ages...

I'm more about Carlin out of one of the Seven Words bits (don't remember which album it was).

Wow! And tits doesn't even belong on the list, ya know? It's such a friendly sounding word. Sounds like a nickname right? Hey Tits, come here man. It's Tits. Hey Tits meet Toots. Tits Toots, Toots Tits man. Sounds like a snack doesn't it? Yes, I know it is...Right. And I don't mean your sexist snack, I mean New Nabisco Tits. New Cheese Tits. Corn Tits and Pizza Tits and Sesame Tits and Onion Tits. Tater tits! Yeah, bet you can't eat just one, right? That's true, I usually switch off. But I mean that word does not belong on the list.


Class Clown, I had that on vinyl once upon a time. I think it used to belong to one of my uncles. I still remember playing that thing and using my boombox to record it onto a cassette so I could play it at a friends house for him.
 
2014-03-05 09:05:03 PM  

foo monkey: Wellon Dowd: If it weren't for her big ole titties, nobody would give her a second glance.

Exactly.  If you can focus it past her boobs (it's not easy), she's got a beautiful face and ass.


Ok, I'm confused. You say 'exactly' but then seemingly contradict Wellon Dowd
 
2014-03-05 09:07:35 PM  

softshoes: dryknife: How does her mole move from one side of her lip to the other throughout the pictures?

[i.imgur.com image 500x275]
What mole?


HA! Good ref!
 
2014-03-05 09:17:56 PM  

fusillade762: posing gamely with the other models to quash the rumors that they have beef

Oh she beefs all right...


Valiente: She's cute and in the same continuum of "actually brunettes" as Denise Richards and that slightly chimp-faced

[img.fark.net image 850x531]

Upton's the youngest and sports the biggest cup size, but they are all of a type. Heart-shaped face, pert-nosed, thick-browed, full-lipped, nice rack, carpets don't match curtains.

Not that there's anything...etc.

Billie Piper?


Yes. Preview would be my friend, and the phone rang.
 
2014-03-05 09:18:28 PM  

softshoes: dryknife: How does her mole move from one side of her lip to the other throughout the pictures?

[i.imgur.com image 500x275]
What mole?


www.wearysloth.com

I have a MOLE?
 
2014-03-05 09:38:17 PM  

fusillade762: posing gamely with the other models to quash the rumors that they have beef

Oh she beefs all right...


Valiente: She's cute and in the same continuum of "actually brunettes" as Denise Richards and that slightly chimp-faced

[img.fark.net image 850x531]

Upton's the youngest and sports the biggest cup size, but they are all of a type. Heart-shaped face, pert-nosed, thick-browed, full-lipped, nice rack, carpets don't match curtains.

Not that there's anything...etc.

Billie Piper?


Pipe er? I'd do more 'an that mate
 
2014-03-05 09:39:26 PM  

just_intonation: softshoes: dryknife: How does her mole move from one side of her lip to the other throughout the pictures?

[i.imgur.com image 500x275]
What mole?

[www.wearysloth.com image 319x240]

I have a MOLE?


img.fark.netimg.fark.net

Buck Melanoma, Moley Russell's wart. Not her wart, not her wart. I'm... I'm the wart. She's my tumor. My... my growth. My... uh, my pimple. I'm Uncle Wart. Just old Buckwart Russell. That's what they call me, or Melanoma Head. They'll call me that. "Melanoma Head's coming!" I'm her uncle! Maisy Russell's uncle!
 
2014-03-05 09:56:21 PM  
The obvious answer is her amazing boobs

Sorry to be pedantic here, but she does not have amazing boobs. Amazing boobs should make you think, "Oh my God, look at those boobs! How do they do that?"

Her boobs are large.
 
2014-03-05 10:25:39 PM  

John Buck 41: foo monkey: Wellon Dowd: If it weren't for her big ole titties, nobody would give her a second glance.

Exactly.  If you can focus it past her boobs (it's not easy), she's got a beautiful face and ass.

Ok, I'm confused. You say 'exactly' but then seemingly contradict Wellon Dowd


I don't think you understood Wellon's fundamental point.

/or am I three deep into snark and I'M the one who's lost
 
2014-03-05 10:41:49 PM  

macadamnut: The obvious answer is her amazing boobs

Sorry to be pedantic here, but she does not have amazing boobs. Amazing boobs should make you think, "Oh my God, look at those boobs! How do they do that?"

Her boobs are large.


Nobody tell macadamnut about how misused "literally" and "irony" have become.

i.imgur.com

 
2014-03-05 10:45:55 PM  

dryknife: How does her mole move from one side of her lip to the other throughout the pictures?


Not moved, just shooped out.

/not that I noticed the first time around
 
2014-03-05 11:16:53 PM  

100 Watt Walrus: Nobody tell macadamnut about how misused "literally" and "irony" have become.


I just think boobs should be properly defined.
 
2014-03-05 11:19:37 PM  

Thank You Black Jesus!: ReapTheChaos: Wellon Dowd: If it weren't for her big ole titties, nobody would give her a second glance.

This.

Not only that, but give her 20 years and she's gunna be a heffer. I bet she's 275-300 by the time she's mid 40s, especially if she has a few kids.

I am sure that 25 years from now, somewhere there will be a guy who will rightfully claim "I banged a young Kate Upton."  And he will rightfully be a hero.

Jerry Brown is Jerry Brown, but he did get with a young Linda Ronstadt.  Give the man his props.


Justin Verlander is currently on round 2. Considering the options of a Justin Verlander that means one or both of the following:

* She's *that* good
* Her baggage is limited enough that someone would be willing come back for Round 2, knowing what they'd be in for
 
2014-03-05 11:37:23 PM  

Stratohead: Billie Piper?


NO. fark that living wolvertoon Bad Wolf


FTFY
 
2014-03-06 12:31:33 AM  

macadamnut: 100 Watt Walrus: Nobody tell macadamnut about how misused "literally" and "irony" have become.

I just think boobs should be properly defined.


Ahh, well that's perfectly understandable. Would you accept "spectacular"? Because I'd go with "spectacular."
 
2014-03-06 01:51:47 AM  
a.gifb.in
 
2014-03-06 03:59:11 AM  
I still think she needs a few more years to reach her potential.
 
2014-03-06 05:04:42 AM  
It would have been nice if her headlights came with a trunk to match, but who am I to complain about the boot on a Testarossa?
 
2014-03-06 06:36:05 AM  

kroonermanblack: She is pretty, she has a nice face, a good body, and some great breasts.

She also has a smile on her face and always seems to be having a good time, and is fine with being silly. She's also willing to be featured in stupid, over the top, advertisements (Carls JR?) and goofy pseudo science life tits in space. Overall, she's pretty and seems fun. What's not to like? It's better than the typical fashion model who has a raging hatred for all things nerd.


Haven't you heard?  She has a "weird torso", and it's just possible that she might gain weight in the future, therefore she is completely unattractive and way below our standards.
 
2014-03-06 08:04:20 AM  
Boob mark
 
2014-03-06 08:23:30 AM  
She's cute and seems to have a great attitude.  Attractive in the way Jennifer Lawrence is, since someone mentioned her..

I don't think KU will age well though, the way some get by on baby fat being cute. She looks as if the moment her skin starts to sag, it's going to sag further than most.  Already, while she looks great and jiggles in a bra, the breasts seem like they'd pancake out and go to her navel if left unsupported.  Not being mean or judgemental, mind you, just a discussion of structure.  Her body composition just doesn't have that firmness that is more classically/universally hot.

 Not sure about JL, she's still very young and seems more firm.

JL's future isn't based on being a fashion model though, so she won't catch flak for it like Upton will.
 
2014-03-06 08:55:13 AM  
Once again this tread proves that on the internet no matter how obvious you make it that you are being sarcastic, someone is going to take you seriously.
 
2014-03-06 09:33:52 AM  

ReapTheChaos: Nix Nightbird: foo monkey: Wellon Dowd: If it weren't for her big ole titties, nobody would give her a second glance.

Exactly.  If you can focus it past her boobs (it's not easy), she's got a beautiful face and ass.

[l1.yimg.com image 600x429]

[www.hecklerspray.com image 386x382]

?? ...If you say so.

I think it's the makeup and Photoshop you're admiring.

That's what I was trying to point out earlier, but people here at Fark don't want to hear anything bad about her. She's not ugly or anything and she's not really fat, yet. Give her time though, she has "fat tub O lard" written all over her. I'd bet the only thing keeping her in the shape she's in now is her busy lifestyle and schedule. When she slows down, especially if she has a kid or two, she's going to balloon out in a hurry.


Who gives a shiat? My dong isn't trying to predict the future.
 
2014-03-06 09:39:02 AM  

100 Watt Walrus: macadamnut: 100 Watt Walrus: Nobody tell macadamnut about how misused "literally" and "irony" have become.

I just think boobs should be properly defined.

Ahh, well that's perfectly understandable. Would you accept "spectacular"? Because I'd go with "spectacular."



Definitely, real and spectacular. For "amazing" you gotta pass the pencil test.
 
2014-03-06 09:57:25 AM  

Valiente: She's cute and in the same continuum of "actually brunettes" as Denise Richards and that slightly chimp-faced

[us.cdn001.fansshare.com image 760x570][cdn1.ouchpress.com image 850x531]
[stuffpoint.com image 850x850]

Upton's the youngest and sports the biggest cup size, but they are all of a type. Heart-shaped face, pert-nosed, thick-browed, full-lipped, nice rack, carpets don't match curtains.

Not that there's anything...etc.


amount of this post being read = 0%, (especially that part at the bottom).
 
2014-03-06 10:14:20 AM  

nocturnal001: ReapTheChaos: Nix Nightbird: foo monkey: Wellon Dowd: If it weren't for her big ole titties, nobody would give her a second glance.

Exactly.  If you can focus it past her boobs (it's not easy), she's got a beautiful face and ass.

[l1.yimg.com image 600x429]

[www.hecklerspray.com image 386x382]

?? ...If you say so.

I think it's the makeup and Photoshop you're admiring.

That's what I was trying to point out earlier, but people here at Fark don't want to hear anything bad about her. She's not ugly or anything and she's not really fat, yet. Give her time though, she has "fat tub O lard" written all over her. I'd bet the only thing keeping her in the shape she's in now is her busy lifestyle and schedule. When she slows down, especially if she has a kid or two, she's going to balloon out in a hurry.

Who gives a shiat? My dong isn't trying to predict the future.


Yo, I be crystal ballin'
 
2014-03-06 10:14:52 AM  

TotallyHeadless: Kate Upton looks soft with no muscle tone. She's young, that's why she is relatively thin. When she hits about 27 it's going to be really hard for her to keep the weight and shape (with her square torso and hips) to a point where she is conventionally attractive.


She's got plenty of money.  She won't have to work daily as regular folks do, so she'll have plenty of time to hire a personal trainer and work out.  Unless she just says fuggit and lets herself go....kinda like Jennifer Lien.

i1168.photobucket.com
 
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