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(Huffington Post)   Man accused of threatening Taylor Swift, her family. But enough about John Mayer   (huffingtonpost.com) divider line 31
    More: Scary, Taylor Swift, Los Angeles Superior Court, Tro, TMZ  
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851 clicks; posted to Entertainment » on 05 Mar 2014 at 9:46 AM (20 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



31 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2014-03-05 10:03:19 AM
The guy is obviously competent and sane.

He wrote a message like this: "Dearest Taylor, I'll kill any man who gets in the way of our marriage. Message to John Kerry, Secretary of State. Message from YOUR Presidential Candidate."

I write all my emails that way.

See?

"Dearest Beyonce, I'll strangulate any cephalopod who gets in front of our professional partnership. Message to Steve Jobs, dead entrepreneur. Message from YOUR orange juice."

See?

Perfectly normal.
 
2014-03-05 10:24:12 AM
i.imgur.com
 
2014-03-05 10:24:52 AM
i.imgur.com
 
2014-03-05 10:28:25 AM
www.hawtcelebs.com
 
2014-03-05 10:31:58 AM
www3.pictures.stylebistro.com
 
2014-03-05 10:34:43 AM
Yeah, this happens to her once in a while. She's praised her security team up and down for keeping these guys from actually getting to her.
 
2014-03-05 10:37:37 AM
John Mayer gets more world class tail than Jeter.
 
2014-03-05 10:46:26 AM
Just gives her more song material
 
2014-03-05 10:56:59 AM

MFAWG: John Mayer gets more world class tail than Jeter.


Mayer? Mayer's already moved on to dumping Katy Perry.

...hang on, someone's got to have kept track of this... (Googles)...

Jennifer Love-Hewitt
Vanessa Carlton
Rhona Mitra
Jessica Simpson
Cameron Diaz
Minka Kelly
Jennifer Anniston
Perez Hilton WTF how the hell aaaaaaaack
A lot of rumors and one-night stands that never go further than that
An outright rejection from Kristin Cavallari
Taylor Swift
More one-night-stands and rumors
Katy Perry
 
2014-03-05 11:06:02 AM
I doubt Mayer is crying too much over losing that head case. He's also probably to busy banging Katy Perry to stalk the gelfling.
 
2014-03-05 11:11:21 AM

Gosling: MFAWG: John Mayer gets more world class tail than Jeter.

Mayer? Mayer's already moved on to dumping Katy Perry.

...hang on, someone's got to have kept track of this... (Googles)...

Jennifer Love-Hewitt
Vanessa Carlton
Rhona Mitra
Jessica Simpson
Cameron Diaz
Minka Kelly
Jennifer Anniston
Perez Hilton WTF how the hell aaaaaaaack
A lot of rumors and one-night stands that never go further than that
An outright rejection from Kristin Cavallari
Taylor Swift
More one-night-stands and rumors
Katy Perry


So basically, if a guy bangs around with anything that moves the appropriate reaction is "Whoooo, up top, bro!!!", whereas if a woman can't seem to keep a relationship going there must be something wrong with her and she must be either a) a dirty skank, or b) frigid.
 
2014-03-05 11:13:04 AM

B.L.Z. Bub: Gosling: MFAWG: John Mayer gets more world class tail than Jeter.

Mayer? Mayer's already moved on to dumping Katy Perry.

...hang on, someone's got to have kept track of this... (Googles)...

Jennifer Love-Hewitt
Vanessa Carlton
Rhona Mitra
Jessica Simpson
Cameron Diaz
Minka Kelly
Jennifer Anniston
Perez Hilton WTF how the hell aaaaaaaack
A lot of rumors and one-night stands that never go further than that
An outright rejection from Kristin Cavallari
Taylor Swift
More one-night-stands and rumors
Katy Perry

So basically, if a guy bangs around with anything that moves the appropriate reaction is "Whoooo, up top, bro!!!", whereas if a woman can't seem to keep a relationship going there must be something wrong with her and she must be either a) a dirty skank, or b) frigid.


I don't see where anybody said that?
 
2014-03-05 11:17:08 AM

MFAWG: B.L.Z. Bub: Gosling: MFAWG: John Mayer gets more world class tail than Jeter.

Mayer? Mayer's already moved on to dumping Katy Perry.

...hang on, someone's got to have kept track of this... (Googles)...

Jennifer Love-Hewitt
Vanessa Carlton
Rhona Mitra
Jessica Simpson
Cameron Diaz
Minka Kelly
Jennifer Anniston
Perez Hilton WTF how the hell aaaaaaaack
A lot of rumors and one-night stands that never go further than that
An outright rejection from Kristin Cavallari
Taylor Swift
More one-night-stands and rumors
Katy Perry

So basically, if a guy bangs around with anything that moves the appropriate reaction is "Whoooo, up top, bro!!!", whereas if a woman can't seem to keep a relationship going there must be something wrong with her and she must be either a) a dirty skank, or b) frigid.

I don't see where anybody said that?


People have said more or less that in every John Mayer or George Clooney thread, praising them for living the dream lifestyle, whereas every Taylor Swift thread is full of "OMG WTF IS WRONG WITH THAT BIATCH". Only men can be sluts apparently.
 
2014-03-05 11:22:00 AM

B.L.Z. Bub: MFAWG: B.L.Z. Bub: Gosling: MFAWG: John Mayer gets more world class tail than Jeter.

Mayer? Mayer's already moved on to dumping Katy Perry.

...hang on, someone's got to have kept track of this... (Googles)...

Jennifer Love-Hewitt
Vanessa Carlton
Rhona Mitra
Jessica Simpson
Cameron Diaz
Minka Kelly
Jennifer Anniston
Perez Hilton WTF how the hell aaaaaaaack
A lot of rumors and one-night stands that never go further than that
An outright rejection from Kristin Cavallari
Taylor Swift
More one-night-stands and rumors
Katy Perry

So basically, if a guy bangs around with anything that moves the appropriate reaction is "Whoooo, up top, bro!!!", whereas if a woman can't seem to keep a relationship going there must be something wrong with her and she must be either a) a dirty skank, or b) frigid.

I don't see where anybody said that?

People have said more or less that in every John Mayer or George Clooney thread, praising them for living the dream lifestyle, whereas every Taylor Swift thread is full of "OMG WTF IS WRONG WITH THAT BIATCH". Only men can be sluts apparently.


Correct.

This is also how I have figured out that Jennifer Aniston must have serious psychological issues.

I am not a doctor, but I used to play one with the girls in the neighborhood when I was a little kid.
 
2014-03-05 11:30:04 AM
I'd let her wriggle all over my face
 
2014-03-05 11:45:10 AM

mentallo69: I'd let her wriggle all over my face


Like the man who fell to Earth?
 
2014-03-05 11:54:35 AM

B.L.Z. Bub: MFAWG: B.L.Z. Bub: Gosling: MFAWG: John Mayer gets more world class tail than Jeter.

Mayer? Mayer's already moved on to dumping Katy Perry.

...hang on, someone's got to have kept track of this... (Googles)...

Jennifer Love-Hewitt
Vanessa Carlton
Rhona Mitra
Jessica Simpson
Cameron Diaz
Minka Kelly
Jennifer Anniston
Perez Hilton WTF how the hell aaaaaaaack
A lot of rumors and one-night stands that never go further than that
An outright rejection from Kristin Cavallari
Taylor Swift
More one-night-stands and rumors
Katy Perry

So basically, if a guy bangs around with anything that moves the appropriate reaction is "Whoooo, up top, bro!!!", whereas if a woman can't seem to keep a relationship going there must be something wrong with her and she must be either a) a dirty skank, or b) frigid.

I don't see where anybody said that?

People have said more or less that in every John Mayer or George Clooney thread, praising them for living the dream lifestyle, whereas every Taylor Swift thread is full of "OMG WTF IS WRONG WITH THAT BIATCH". Only men can be sluts apparently.


I've heard that very sentiment in my office.

From the women.
 
2014-03-05 11:55:59 AM
restraining order is like a break up so she gets a free song.
 
2014-03-05 11:59:00 AM
I'd hit it so hard, it would inspire her to write a Wagnerian Ring Cycle.
 
2014-03-05 12:23:43 PM

Wellon Dowd: [i.imgur.com image 850x1275]


I'm not saying it's RIGHT.  I'm just saying I UNDERSTAND.
 
2014-03-05 01:21:44 PM

meat0918: B.L.Z. Bub: MFAWG: B.L.Z. Bub: Gosling: MFAWG: John Mayer gets more world class tail than Jeter.

Mayer? Mayer's already moved on to dumping Katy Perry.

...hang on, someone's got to have kept track of this... (Googles)...

Jennifer Love-Hewitt
Vanessa Carlton
Rhona Mitra
Jessica Simpson
Cameron Diaz
Minka Kelly
Jennifer Anniston
Perez Hilton WTF how the hell aaaaaaaack
A lot of rumors and one-night stands that never go further than that
An outright rejection from Kristin Cavallari
Taylor Swift
More one-night-stands and rumors
Katy Perry

So basically, if a guy bangs around with anything that moves the appropriate reaction is "Whoooo, up top, bro!!!", whereas if a woman can't seem to keep a relationship going there must be something wrong with her and she must be either a) a dirty skank, or b) frigid.

I don't see where anybody said that?

People have said more or less that in every John Mayer or George Clooney thread, praising them for living the dream lifestyle, whereas every Taylor Swift thread is full of "OMG WTF IS WRONG WITH THAT BIATCH". Only men can be sluts apparently.

I've heard that very sentiment in my office.

From the women.


It's not the sleeping around, it's the bitter break up songs that separate her from any number of women that (to quote my grandmother) "Like their men".
 
2014-03-05 02:01:46 PM

MFAWG: It's not the sleeping around, it's the bitter break up songs that separate her from any number of women that (to quote my grandmother) "Like their men".


That and the $150 million in personal net-worth she's garnered off of writing and performing those songs. A small, but significant difference, you must admit.
img.fark.net
 
2014-03-05 02:39:37 PM

red5ish: MFAWG: It's not the sleeping around, it's the bitter break up songs that separate her from any number of women that (to quote my grandmother) "Like their men".

That and the $150 million in personal net-worth she's garnered off of writing and performing those songs. A small, but significant difference, you must admit.


It's also the increasingly half assed denials that she farks around
 
2014-03-05 03:26:43 PM
I would have sex with her mouth and vagina
 
2014-03-05 05:39:49 PM

MFAWG: It's also the increasingly half assed denials that she farks around


She's 24, rich, good looking, famous and single. If she wasn't farking around that would be very odd. Her PR team denies any farking around because her target demographic is largely made up of tween maidens and their mothers who pay for concert tickets. For all we really know she may not fark around all that much. I hope, for her sake, that she does and enjoys it.
 
2014-03-05 08:13:26 PM

MFAWG: It's not the sleeping around, it's the bitter break up songs that separate her from any number of women that (to quote my grandmother) "Like their men".


Which makes her different from... who, exactly? People get on Taylor like she's the only person who's ever sung a breakup song ever, or act like those are the only songs she does. It's like saying Weird Al only does parodies.
 
2014-03-05 08:20:41 PM

Gosling: MFAWG: It's not the sleeping around, it's the bitter break up songs that separate her from any number of women that (to quote my grandmother) "Like their men".

Which makes her different from... who, exactly? People get on Taylor like she's the only person who's ever sung a breakup song ever, or act like those are the only songs she does. It's like saying Weird Al only does parodies.


But they ARE the only songs she does
 
2014-03-05 11:04:43 PM
I'd hit that so hard, she'd be singing like Tom Waits afterwards.
 
2014-03-05 11:24:35 PM

MFAWG: But they ARE the only songs she does


Er... no. No no no. no.

Also, no.

I shall now run you through the discography from Taylor's four main albums, and I will bold the breakup songs and italicize the iffy cases.

'TAYLOR SWIFT'
Tim McGraw, Picture To Burn, Teardrops On My Guitar, A Place In This World, Cold As You, The Outside, Tied Together With A Smile, Stay Beautiful, Should've Said No, Mary's Song (Oh My My My), Our Song, I'm Only Me When I'm With You, Invisible, A Perfectly Good Heart

(Tim McGraw's italicized; technically it depicts a breakup, but the breakup in question was brought on by Taylor's boyfriend heading off to college and she was hoping to see him off nicely, so it's not exactly a bitter one or one either of them really wanted to have happen. You COULD count it, but it's being kinda picky.)

'FEARLESS'
Jump Then Fall, Untouchable, Come In With The Rain, Superstar, The Other Side Of The Door, Fearless, Fifteen, Love Story, Hey Stephen, White Horse, You Belong With Me, Breathe, Tell Me Why, You're Not Sorry, The Way I Loved You, Forever & Always, The Best Day, Change

(The Other Side Of The Door is italicized because, well, it is a breakup song... and it isn't... here, here are the lyrics. It's the lyrical equivalent of the 'It's Complicated' option on Facebook. The Way I Loved You is italicized for... also complicated reasons.)

'SPEAK NOW'
Mine, Sparks Fly, Back To December, Speak Now, Dear John, Mean, The Story Of Us, Never Grow Up, Enchanted, Better Than Revenge, Innocent, Haunted, Last Kiss, Long Live, Ours, If This Was A Movie, Superman

(Haunted is italicized because in the song, Taylor and her boyfriend haven't broken up yet, but they are having relationship issues. Mean is not a breakup song; it was directed at a music critic.)

'RED'
State Of Grace, Red, Treacherous, I Knew You Were Trouble, All Too Well, 22, I Almost Do, We Are Never Ever Getting Back Together, Stay Stay Stay, The Last Time, Holy Ground, Sad Beautiful Tragic, The Lucky One, Everything Has Changed, Starlight, Begin Again, The Moment I Knew, Come Back... Be Here, Girl At Home

(The Last Time is italicized for being more about relationship issues, though you could bold it and I wouldn't argue.)

A good chunk of her songs? Sure, but I'd wager not over and above what, say, Kelly Clarkson has on her resume. All of her songs? Come on now.
 
2014-03-05 11:30:49 PM
...ehhhhh, maybe Last Kiss ought to be italicized too. The boyfriend broke up with her and she still wanted him.
 
2014-03-06 01:12:01 AM
I totally agree that Swift looks like an alien and has an odd face, but I still find her hot. She can write a song about breaking up with me any time she wants.
 
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