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(BBC)   "Just hit him with this $5 wrench until he tells us"   (bbc.co.uk) divider line 43
    More: Fail, the Indian Express, floating block  
•       •       •

8961 clicks; posted to Main » on 05 Mar 2014 at 9:56 AM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



43 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2014-03-05 10:03:11 AM  
Dear kind sir, have you tried rebooting the database to effectuate prompt access to your important files? Thank you, come again.

/head waggle
 
2014-03-05 10:04:47 AM  
The headline rings a bell but I can't figure out why or from where.

/help a brutha' out?
 
2014-03-05 10:05:14 AM  
Looks like they forgot to do the needful.
 
2014-03-05 10:05:44 AM  

MelGoesOnTour: The headline rings a bell but I can't figure out why or from where.

/help a brutha' out?


imgs.xkcd.com
 
2014-03-05 10:06:14 AM  
Looks like they...

Fubegra: Looks like they forgot to do the needful.


Dammit!
 
2014-03-05 10:07:36 AM  
Hit who? The password was forgotten. Or does getting hit aid recall?

Fail is right.
 
2014-03-05 10:07:53 AM  
Subby couldn't be arsed to drug him first?
 
2014-03-05 10:09:19 AM  

untaken_name: MelGoesOnTour: The headline rings a bell but I can't figure out why or from where.

/help a brutha' out?

[imgs.xkcd.com image 448x274]


Thanks. Now I can sleep tonight.
 
2014-03-05 10:13:49 AM  
qwerty
password
pa$$w0rd
<dog's name>
<kid's name>
<grandkid's  name>
or the old standard: 123456

Plan B: Look for the Post-It note under the keyboard

/ Am I right?
 
2014-03-05 10:14:18 AM  
Wait, police don't have a password to access corruption complaints?

i31.photobucket.com
 
2014-03-05 10:14:54 AM  
Police in India have failed to act on hundreds of corruption complaints over an eight-year period because they did not know a computer password, it seems.

Suuuure.
 
2014-03-05 10:15:05 AM  
"The political corruption cases?  Oh yeah, they're around here somewhere.  You know, I've got to clean up my desk one of these days.  Wait second, I think we put them the computer, but, I forgot which one. Well, we'll just have to figure all this out.  Call back in a couple of months and I'll let you know how its coming."

/Sounds legit.
//Probably in the same place as the police corruption cases.
 
2014-03-05 10:15:15 AM  

MelGoesOnTour: untaken_name: MelGoesOnTour: The headline rings a bell but I can't figure out why or from where.

/help a brutha' out?

[imgs.xkcd.com image 448x274]

Thanks. Now I can sleep tonight.


HTH. Sweet dreams :)
 
2014-03-05 10:17:05 AM  
Just like billiards, the harder you hit them, the better their english gets.
 
2014-03-05 10:35:15 AM  
Police in India have failed to act on hundreds of corruption complaints over an eight-year period because they did not know a computer password, it seems.

They tried calling tech support but couldn't understand the support person's accent.
 
2014-03-05 10:44:30 AM  

Slypork: Police in India have failed to act on hundreds of corruption complaints over an eight-year period because they did not know a computer password, it seems.

They tried calling tech support but couldn't understand the support person's accent.


What terrible country does India outsource their tech support to?  Uganda?
 
2014-03-05 10:50:01 AM  

wxboy: Slypork: Police in India have failed to act on hundreds of corruption complaints over an eight-year period because they did not know a computer password, it seems.

They tried calling tech support but couldn't understand the support person's accent.

What terrible country does India outsource their tech support to?  Uganda?


It's worse. Ever wonder what Gateway's been up to?

/disclaimer: i don't actually know or care if gateway is even still a company
 
2014-03-05 10:50:47 AM  
If you can dodge a wrench, you can dodge a ball.
 
2014-03-05 10:59:50 AM  

untaken_name: MelGoesOnTour: The headline rings a bell but I can't figure out why or from where.

/help a brutha' out?


More like:

"His laptop's encrypted. Here's a list of Passwords for idiots to run and if that doesn't work call up and pretend to be tech support for his ISP."

/why resort to violence
//there's a reason Identity Theft was so funny
///in spite of Seth MacFarlane
 
2014-03-05 11:01:29 AM  

lohphat: Dear kind sir, have you tried rebooting the database to effectuate prompt access to your important files? Thank you, come again.

/head waggle


Only if it's a mauve database. Those have the most ram.

/obscure?
 
2014-03-05 11:01:43 AM  

untaken_name: wxboy: Slypork: Police in India have failed to act on hundreds of corruption complaints over an eight-year period because they did not know a computer password, it seems.

They tried calling tech support but couldn't understand the support person's accent.

What terrible country does India outsource their tech support to?  Uganda?

It's worse. Ever wonder what Gateway's been up to?

/disclaimer: i don't actually know or care if gateway is even still a company


Acer bought gateway and emachines a little while back. I don't know if they still put anything out under those badges.
 
2014-03-05 11:08:06 AM  
To be fair, all their calls to tech support were routed to the United States and they couldn't understand a dam bit of the instructions
 
2014-03-05 11:13:59 AM  
www.gdargaud.net
 
2014-03-05 11:16:31 AM  

KyDave: qwerty
password
pa$$w0rd
<dog's name>
<kid's name>
<grandkid's  name>
or the old standard: 123456

Plan B: Look for the Post-It note under the keyboard

/ Am I right?

Sadly, you are.

When i was in infoSec I had an hour with all new hires to give them the spiel on the dos and don'ts of our company.  Part of that was the usual don't write your password down blah stuff.  During one session I was saying something about post it notes and passwords and looked down at a monitor some tech had just replaced.  Live user ID and password penciled on the frame.  Sigh
 
2014-03-05 11:23:46 AM  
Is it "Guest"?
 
2014-03-05 11:37:34 AM  

lohphat: Dear kind sir, have you tried rebooting the database to effectuate prompt access to your important files? Thank you, come again.

/head waggle


It won't work. They tell you not to name your password after your kids, and little Bobby Droptables strikes again.
 
2014-03-05 11:41:06 AM  

KidneyStone: KyDave: qwerty
password
pa$$w0rd
<dog's name>
<kid's name>
<grandkid's  name>
or the old standard: 123456

Plan B: Look for the Post-It note under the keyboard

/ Am I right?
Sadly, you are.

When i was in infoSec I had an hour with all new hires to give them the spiel on the dos and don'ts of our company.  Part of that was the usual don't write your password down blah stuff.  During one session I was saying something about post it notes and passwords and looked down at a monitor some tech had just replaced.  Live user ID and password penciled on the frame.  Sigh


If the password didn't need to have a number and a symbol and be changed weekly, they might bother memorizing it.
 
2014-03-05 11:46:28 AM  

wxboy: Slypork: Police in India have failed to act on hundreds of corruption complaints over an eight-year period because they did not know a computer password, it seems.

They tried calling tech support but couldn't understand the support person's accent.

What terrible country does India outsource their tech support to?  Uganda?


Alabama.
 
2014-03-05 12:00:33 PM  

KidneyStone: KyDave: qwerty
password
pa$$w0rd
<dog's name>
<kid's name>
<grandkid's  name>
or the old standard: 123456

Plan B: Look for the Post-It note under the keyboard

/ Am I right?
Sadly, you are.

When i was in infoSec I had an hour with all new hires to give them the spiel on the dos and don'ts of our company.  Part of that was the usual don't write your password down blah stuff.  During one session I was saying something about post it notes and passwords and looked down at a monitor some tech had just replaced.  Live user ID and password penciled on the frame.  Sigh


"Penciled"?  Pikers.  While inspecting dumb terminals returned from repair company I found login/password combos written with indelible black maker on screen frames.

/called repair contractor and informed them of a wonderful product called "Goof-Off" that we'd pay for.
 
2014-03-05 12:25:50 PM  

KyDave: qwerty
password
pa$$w0rd
<dog's name>
<kid's name>
<grandkid's  name>
or the old standard: 123456

Plan B: Look for the Post-It note under the keyboard

/ Am I right?


You forgot:

P@ssw0rd
P@ssw0rd1
OICU812
Password1

I also see a lot of season/year (Summer2013 for example) passwords.
 
2014-03-05 12:26:47 PM  

A_bomb37: untaken_name: wxboy: Slypork: Police in India have failed to act on hundreds of corruption complaints over an eight-year period because they did not know a computer password, it seems.

They tried calling tech support but couldn't understand the support person's accent.

What terrible country does India outsource their tech support to?  Uganda?

It's worse. Ever wonder what Gateway's been up to?

/disclaimer: i don't actually know or care if gateway is even still a company

Acer bought gateway and emachines a little while back. I don't know if they still put anything out under those badges.


I don't believe you. That much suck in one location would have caused the world to implode. They might as well just bring back Packard-Bells.

/disclaimer: I actually do believe you
 
2014-03-05 12:56:05 PM  
Did the check everywhere?
4.bp.blogspot.com
 
2014-03-05 01:01:55 PM  
hideyourarms.com

Did ye try turning it off and on again?
 
2014-03-05 01:25:58 PM  
i.imgur.com
 
2014-03-05 02:09:08 PM  
peepton.com
 
2014-03-05 05:22:44 PM  

MelGoesOnTour: The headline rings a bell but I can't figure out why or from where.

/help a brutha' out?


imgs.xkcd.com

/there's an xkcd for everything
 
2014-03-05 05:34:28 PM  

KyDave: qwerty
password
pa$$w0rd
<dog's name>
<kid's name>
<grandkid's  name>
or the old standard: 123456

Plan B: Look for the Post-It note under the keyboard

/ Am I right?


Almost, look for the post-it first otherwise you might cause an account lock-out.
 
2014-03-05 05:46:28 PM  

KyDave: qwerty
password
pa$$w0rd
<dog's name>
<kid's name>
<grandkid's  name>
or the old standard: 123456

Plan B: Look for the Post-It note under the keyboard

/ Am I right?


Under the keyboard?  Don't you mean "taped to the monitor"?
 
2014-03-05 09:08:18 PM  

May Cause Drowsiness: KidneyStone: KyDave: qwerty
password
pa$$w0rd
<dog's name>
<kid's name>
<grandkid's  name>
or the old standard: 123456

Plan B: Look for the Post-It note under the keyboard

/ Am I right?
Sadly, you are.

When i was in infoSec I had an hour with all new hires to give them the spiel on the dos and don'ts of our company.  Part of that was the usual don't write your password down blah stuff.  During one session I was saying something about post it notes and passwords and looked down at a monitor some tech had just replaced.  Live user ID and password penciled on the frame.  Sigh

If the password didn't need to have a number and a symbol and be changed weekly, they might bother memorizing it.


One word: Rainbow Tables.

8 chars lower-only: 26^8
8 chars lower+upper: 52^8
8 chars alphanumeric, mixed case: 62^8
8 chars alphanumeric, mixed case + symbols: ~94^8 (depending on which symbols you count)

Which set of tables is likely to take the longest to run through? (changed weekly does seem rather overkill for general use)
 
2014-03-05 09:10:39 PM  

KidneyStone: KyDave: qwerty
password
pa$$w0rd
<dog's name>
<kid's name>
<grandkid's  name>
or the old standard: 123456

Plan B: Look for the Post-It note under the keyboard

/ Am I right?
Sadly, you are.

When i was in infoSec I had an hour with all new hires to give them the spiel on the dos and don'ts of our company.  Part of that was the usual don't write your password down blah stuff.  During one session I was saying something about post it notes and passwords and looked down at a monitor some tech had just replaced.  Live user ID and password penciled on the frame.  Sigh


I'm coauthoring a textbook on Information Security Management right now, so I'm getting a kick out of these replies.

/ No, really.
// *Huge* farking topic
/// More frameworks than you can shake a stick drive at
 
2014-03-05 09:19:33 PM  

IrishBlunder: KidneyStone: KyDave:
(snip)
"Penciled"?  Pikers.  While inspecting dumb terminals returned from repair company I found login/password combos written with indelible black maker on screen frames.

/called repair contractor and informed them of a wonderful product called "Goof-Off" that we'd pay for.


Sharpie'd passwords: priceless. What'd they do if they had to change 'em? (goobers)
Goof-Off: wonderful stuff + fun name = winning!


UtopianDevil: KyDave:
(snip)
You forgot:

P@ssw0rd
P@ssw0rd1
OICU812
Password1

I also see a lot of season/year (Summer2013 for example) passwords.


We both left out: LetMeIn and IAmGod
:)


Feed_The_Walrus: KyDave:
(snip)
Almost, look for the post-it first otherwise you might cause an account lock-out.


Outstanding catch - take 4 Internets out of petty cash and take tomorrow off!

jtown: KyDave:
(snip)
Under the keyboard?  Don't you mean "taped to the monitor"?


Yup.
Wadddya get when you put an 'L' in front of 'user'?
How many calls you get that are I.D. 10 - T errors?
Or EBCAK?
 
2014-03-06 11:40:42 AM  
My friends 10 year old daughter kept forgetting the password for her tablet. To make things easy they changed it to "incorrect". That way when she would type in the wrong thing she would get the prompt, "Your password is incorrect". Nice idea to help remind a scatter brained kid.

Then I told a co-worker about it and she said she was going to do it to.  sigh
 
2014-03-06 12:19:32 PM  

KyDave: May Cause Drowsiness: KidneyStone: KyDave: qwerty
password
pa$$w0rd
<dog's name>
<kid's name>
<grandkid's  name>
or the old standard: 123456

Plan B: Look for the Post-It note under the keyboard

/ Am I right?
Sadly, you are.

When i was in infoSec I had an hour with all new hires to give them the spiel on the dos and don'ts of our company.  Part of that was the usual don't write your password down blah stuff.  During one session I was saying something about post it notes and passwords and looked down at a monitor some tech had just replaced.  Live user ID and password penciled on the frame.  Sigh

If the password didn't need to have a number and a symbol and be changed weekly, they might bother memorizing it.

One word: Rainbow Tables.

8 chars lower-only: 26^8
8 chars lower+upper: 52^8
8 chars alphanumeric, mixed case: 62^8
8 chars alphanumeric, mixed case + symbols: ~94^8 (depending on which symbols you count)

Which set of tables is likely to take the longest to run through? (changed weekly does seem rather overkill for general use)


First: correct horse battery stapler
Second: It's a WAAAAY bigger security fault to have a system that allows 94^8 or more login attempts before locking you out. Even if it has an auto-unlock after 10 minutes, (94^8) /3 *10 = electricity will be obsolete by the time you're able to run through a significant fraction of possible passwords.
 
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