Do you have adblock enabled?
If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.

(AP)   Not News: Former U.S. Rep. Mel Reynolds is in hiding in South Africa. News: Says Mugabe Regime "trumped up" pornography charges against him. Fark: Says he is being pursued by a secret Zimbabwean death squad   ( ) divider line
    More: Amusing, South Africa, u.s. rep.  
•       •       •

3215 clicks; posted to Main » on 04 Mar 2014 at 10:42 AM (2 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»

Voting Results (Funniest)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

2014-03-04 10:49:47 AM  
4 votes:
I don't see why he should be so scared. I think Mel could take them on! I mean, look at him, he's pretty badass!
2014-03-04 10:46:47 AM  
2 votes:
"Secret Zimbabwean Death Squad" would be a cool band name.
2014-03-04 10:44:49 AM  
2 votes:
Niger, please.
2014-03-04 01:45:21 PM  
1 vote:

Cybernetic: How much is the bounty on his head?

[ image 425x210]

One hundred trillion dollars!
2014-03-04 01:22:35 PM  
1 vote:
How much is the bounty on his head?
2014-03-04 11:54:11 AM  
1 vote:
Mel was a fun guy. This is from an NBC Chicago piece:

Reynolds, then a second-term congressman from the South Side, was accused of having sex with a 16-year-old he'd met during his 1992 run for Congress. Reynolds had spotted the girl while driving around the district and pulled over to chat, even though he was supposed to be politicking and she was too young to vote. Soon after, she joined his campaign as volunteer and mistress. Two years later, the girl confessed to the affair to her next-door neighbor, who happened to be a Chicago police officer.

The state's attorney set up a phone-sex sting. While sitting in a prosecutor's office, the girl called Reynolds and told him she couldn't make their tryst because she had to babysit.

"What you gonna wear?" Reynolds prompted.

"Well, my peach underwear, like you told me to. I was hoping we could do something really special but I see that's not going to happen, I guess."

"I was definitely gonna f---," Reynolds said.


"Right in my office. I was gonna masturbate too."

At the panting congressman's urging, the girl spun a story of sex with a lesbian lover. When Reynolds asked if the other woman would be willing to do a threesome, the girl said no - but she knew a 15-year-old girl who might. A 15-year-old Catholic schoolgirl.

"Did I win the Lotto?" Reynolds exclaimed.
2014-03-04 11:16:06 AM  
1 vote:
Y'all are full of shiat. Mugabe doesn't have any secret death squads. Everybody knows about his death squads.
2014-03-04 10:49:37 AM  
1 vote:
Pornography charges? What about that psychic girl and her brother that he's been hiding from the Alliance? Is that forgotten?
2014-03-04 10:48:23 AM  
1 vote:
Maybe Obama could loan him his sign interpreter
2014-03-04 10:47:31 AM  
1 vote:
Hmmm, let me guess, is it child porn, Mel?
Displayed 10 of 10 comments

View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

This thread is archived, and closed to new comments.

Continue Farking
Submit a Link »
On Twitter

Javascript is required to view headlines in widget.

In Other Media
  1. Links are submitted by members of the Fark community.

  2. When community members submit a link, they also write a custom headline for the story.

  3. Other Farkers comment on the links. This is the number of comments. Click here to read them.

  4. Click here to submit a link.