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(NPR)   Europe is threatening legal action against the United States for using "names with ties to European history" for their cheeses   (npr.org) divider line 82
    More: Strange, United States, Europeans, Europe, cheese curds, parmesan, Morning Edition  
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3652 clicks; posted to Main » on 04 Mar 2014 at 9:28 AM (30 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2014-03-04 09:16:14 AM
No whey!
 
2014-03-04 09:31:23 AM
There's only one kind of cheese we need, you frigging surrender monkeys!

American.

White American!
 
2014-03-04 09:33:35 AM
(grumpy-cat-gouda.jpg)
 
2014-03-04 09:34:52 AM
"They have made their decision, now let them enforce it." -- Andrew Jackson
 
2014-03-04 09:35:39 AM
I guess Europe will stop having to use the word awesome.
 
2014-03-04 09:36:16 AM
I much prefer truth in labeling

Squirty Stuff from the Urine and Manure Covered Tackle of an Antibiotic-Infused Bovine, Laced with Fecal Matter from Trillions of Bacteria, Molds, Other Fungi and Viruses. Artificial Flavorings, Colorings and Vast Quantities of Salt Added.

My mom used to make the best squirty stuff from the urine and manure...
 
2014-03-04 09:36:33 AM
www.esquire.com

"I guess America might be paying Europe..."

images.starpulse.com

"Royalties..."
 
2014-03-04 09:37:09 AM
Next up French fries, Belgian waffles, and Spanish fly.
 
2014-03-04 09:37:40 AM

TheShavingofOccam123: I much prefer truth in labeling

Squirty Stuff from the Urine and Manure Covered Tackle of an Antibiotic-Infused Bovine, Laced with Fecal Matter from Trillions of Bacteria, Molds, Other Fungi and Viruses. Artificial Flavorings, Colorings and Vast Quantities of Salt Added.

My mom used to make the best squirty stuff from the urine and manure...



Naw, too long for a labe -- besides, it's not very "catchy".  I think you need to watch an episode or two of Mad Men.
 
2014-03-04 09:38:55 AM

OregonVet: No whey!


img.fark.net
fc00.deviantart.net
 
2014-03-04 09:39:05 AM
You mean like swiss?

Fark Europe.
#1, they invaded here.
#2, they foisted and still do undesirable Eurogrents upon us.
#3, They can STFU and stay home.
#4, they still owe us from the world wars.
#5, they have a false sense of entitlement and pride over their achievements.

oh, and they talk funny.

Those french, it's like they have a different word for everything.
 
2014-03-04 09:41:54 AM
Swiss cheese will now be known as Nazi Banker Cheese.
 
2014-03-04 09:42:08 AM

jshine: TheShavingofOccam123: I much prefer truth in labeling

Squirty Stuff from the Urine and Manure Covered Tackle of an Antibiotic-Infused Bovine, Laced with Fecal Matter from Trillions of Bacteria, Molds, Other Fungi and Viruses. Artificial Flavorings, Colorings and Vast Quantities of Salt Added.

My mom used to make the best squirty stuff from the urine and manure...


Naw, too long for a labe -- besides, it's not very "catchy".  I think you need to watch an episode or two of Mad Men.


How's this for a catchy phrase for cheese marketing?

ROT MILK?



/does this mean I get to bang Elisabeth Moss?
/I'm not interested in Sal. I do miss his character. Freddy Rumsen, too
 
2014-03-04 09:44:17 AM

Ma'am I only need to know one cheese


'MURICAN

 
2014-03-04 09:45:51 AM
I am sure we will surrender.

All American cheese will now be called Obamacheese. It will sell for $100 a pound.
 
2014-03-04 09:46:49 AM

Thunderpipes: I am sure we will surrender.

All American cheese will now be called Obamacheese. It will sell for $100 a pound.


You can tell it's Obamacheese. It comes wrapped in muslim.
 
2014-03-04 09:47:01 AM

TheShavingofOccam123: My mom used to make the best squirty stuff from the urine and manure...


*unzips*

Go on...
 
2014-03-04 09:47:14 AM
i.ytimg.com

This sketch will have to be a lot longer.
 
2014-03-04 09:47:21 AM
Simple solution to this complex problem. Rename the cheeses, then sell so much of the renamed cheese at such a reduced price that the original cannot stay in business.
 
2014-03-04 09:47:30 AM
Well, I know right away, we can change Parmesan to "Shredded Vom"
 
2014-03-04 09:49:16 AM
i141.photobucket.com
"You better be gouda me"
 
2014-03-04 09:51:13 AM
Cherek argues that certain products are so unique that only one country or region should be allowed to lay claim

And Cherek would be wrong in that argument. There's nothing special about  where something is made, it is the  process that makes it what it is.
 
2014-03-04 09:51:14 AM
Have the Brits renamed their India pale ales yet?
 
2014-03-04 09:53:01 AM

TheShavingofOccam123: jshine: TheShavingofOccam123: I much prefer truth in labeling

Squirty Stuff from the Urine and Manure Covered Tackle of an Antibiotic-Infused Bovine, Laced with Fecal Matter from Trillions of Bacteria, Molds, Other Fungi and Viruses. Artificial Flavorings, Colorings and Vast Quantities of Salt Added.

My mom used to make the best squirty stuff from the urine and manure...


Naw, too long for a labe -- besides, it's not very "catchy".  I think you need to watch an episode or two of Mad Men.

How's this for a catchy phrase for cheese marketing?

ROT MILK?

/does this mean I get to bang Elisabeth Moss?
/I'm not interested in Sal. I do miss his character. Freddy Rumsen, too


Catchier, but not accurate (in most cases).  Most cheese is curdled with enzymes, acids, or salts; there's nothing actually growing in it -- though there are exceptions (e.g., Gorgonzola), of course.  You could say "curdled milk", I suppose, though "cheese" would be simpler & more recognizable.
 
2014-03-04 09:56:09 AM
If this really becomes a thing, how about just calling it "Brie-style," "Swiss-style," etc.?
 
2014-03-04 09:56:38 AM

Cyclometh: Cherek argues that certain products are so unique that only one country or region should be allowed to lay claim

And Cherek would be wrong in that argument. There's nothing special about  where something is made, it is the  process that makes it what it is.


Some things legitimately can be said to only be made in certain places, because the region and production (type of materials, fermentation, climate, etc.) can't be replicated elsewhere to the same degree, but there's already a trade organization that protects those names. Trying to lock up the generic names is just being a dick.
 
2014-03-04 09:56:38 AM
Perhaps a small symbol to indicate the genuine article.
We could try something like ⓐ for authentic.

Or something to indicate the knock off, like circle s for style.
 
2014-03-04 09:57:08 AM
So does this mean no more "hamburgers" too (Hamburg, Germany)?
 
2014-03-04 09:57:38 AM
I wonder when Japan is going to start complaining about all the fake "Kobe" beef sold in the US.
 
2014-03-04 09:59:13 AM

Barry Lyndon's Annuity Cheque: Cyclometh: Cherek argues that certain products are so unique that only one country or region should be allowed to lay claim

And Cherek would be wrong in that argument. There's nothing special about  where something is made, it is the  process that makes it what it is.

Some things legitimately can be said to only be made in certain places, because the region and production (type of materials, fermentation, climate, etc.) can't be replicated elsewhere to the same degree, but there's already a trade organization that protects those names. Trying to lock up the generic names is just being a dick.


If you can't make it somewhere else (Roquefort was cited in TFA) then it probably doesn't need strong protections.
 
2014-03-04 09:59:25 AM
Freedom Cheese!
 
2014-03-04 10:00:30 AM

Thallone1: Simple solution to this complex problem. Rename the cheeses, then sell so much of the renamed cheese at such a reduced price that the original cannot stay in business.


Actually, given the USA's role in global food production, the second part is pretty much inevitable as a consequence of the first part.  They won't necessarily lose all of their market share but the names will lose a lot of their power.

This is just another version of Scotland being douchebags about what can be called "Scotch".  The US was kinda like shrugging, looking back at the whiskey companies, and then going "OK I guess" when they didn't object.  And now everyone probably figures it's the one dick-measuring contest that they can win against us (because when it comes down to it we don't actually care).

If you're curious, basically your suggestion is what happened to American Scotch.  99% of things labeled "American Whiskey" are quite literally exactly the same as Scotch except for the "aged in scotland" part of the definition tacked on in the '90s.  Wheat-heavy mash over a charcoal filter aged the same amount of time.

// I think in fairness we weren't really inclined to argue since the mash being named for a country that doesn't actually produce most of the ingredients in any real quantity was silly.  Most people don't call "Canadian" whiskey that anymore either, they call it Rye whiskey because Rye is grown everywhere.

// The idea that certain varieties of cheese are special things no one would have come up with outside of certain cultural conditions is stupid.  It's like the second-most common form or human food-processing after the distillation of spirits, everywhere the ingredients for a certain variety of cheese exist, that cheese will soon exist.
 
2014-03-04 10:00:56 AM

mrlewish: I guess Europe will stop having to use the word awesome.


When you learn the difference between a continent and the European Union.

Awesome. :)
 
2014-03-04 10:02:04 AM
25.media.tumblr.com
 
2014-03-04 10:03:17 AM
Jim_Callahan:
This is just another version of Scotland being douchebags about what can be called "Scotch".  The US was kinda like shrugging, looking back at the whiskey companies, and then going "OK I guess" when they didn't object.  And now everyone probably figures it's the one dick-measuring contest that they can win against us (because when it comes down to it we don't actually care).

If you don't care, why do you name things incorrectly? You're stupid?
 
2014-03-04 10:03:33 AM
So what happens if they manage to succeed here and some company in Wisconsin says "eh, nah, we'll just keep calling it what we want."

Is such a thing enforceable, at the producer level?
 
2014-03-04 10:10:28 AM

spawn73: If you don't care, why do you name things incorrectly? You're stupid?


How insightful!  I'd call you a Neanderthal in reply, but that might infringe on the name of the Neander Valley in Germany.
 
2014-03-04 10:11:45 AM
Ahhh . . . champagne.  The imprisoned laughter of the maidens of France . . . .

/ pleasant memories
 
2014-03-04 10:12:16 AM

Jim_Callahan: If you're curious, basically your suggestion is what happened to American Scotch.  99% of things labeled "American Whiskey" are quite literally exactly the same as Scotch except for the "aged in scotland" part of the definition tacked on in the '90s.  Wheat-heavy mash over a charcoal filter aged the same amount of time.


citation needed
 
2014-03-04 10:13:53 AM

pearls before swine: Have the Brits renamed their India pale ales yet?


Its named IPA because its the only thing brewed in England that can survive a boat trip to India w/o tasting like skunk ass
 
2014-03-04 10:13:54 AM

Jim_Callahan: Actually, given the USA's role in global food production, the second part is pretty much inevitable as a consequence of the first part.  They won't necessarily lose all of their market share but the names will lose a lot of their power.


Ummmm, yeah, because in europe we all eat american cheese all the time.

Jim_Callahan: // The idea that certain varieties of cheese are special things no one would have come up with outside of certain cultural conditions is stupid.  It's like the second-most common form or human food-processing after the distillation of spirits, everywhere the ingredients for a certain variety of cheese exist, that cheese will soon exist.



All we ask is that you please stop naming your stuff after our towns and regions. It's called champagne because it comes from champagne. It's called stilton because it comes from stilton. Same applies with parmigiana, parma ham etc etc.
 
2014-03-04 10:14:59 AM
Actually the Stilton one is a bit more complex as that actually can't be made in stilton right now...
 
2014-03-04 10:15:01 AM
The EU should just go full-retard and get England to trademark the English language & demand royalties.
 
2014-03-04 10:17:50 AM

jshine: So does this mean no more "hamburgers" too (Hamburg, Germany)?


And no more "Frankfurters" either (Frankfurt).

But why stop there?  London Broil will be restricted to London.  New York Strip will only be sold on a strip of land in NY (Long Island?).  Incidently, Long Island Ice Teas will also be restricted to LI.

Rocky Mountain Oysters can only be had in the Rockies, but only in seafood restaurants due to the 'Oyster' part of the name.  Most Taco Bell items will still be sold nationwide, but "Mexican Pizza" will be restricted to Mexican Territory.  Northern Beans will only be sold in stores north of your present location (wherever you are).  Just keep heading north until you hit 90 degrees north.

And why limit this effect to food?  "Hawaii 5-0" will only be aired in Hawaii, and only on the 50th day of the year.  The song "I Lost My Heart In San Francisco" can ONLY be sung by San Franciscan heart attack victims (the coronary attack MUST have taken place WITHIN San Francisco city limits).  And the book "Paradise Lost" can only be sold in heaven (Paradise), but must be READ in hell (Lost).


/Argument ad absurdum!
 
2014-03-04 10:19:16 AM

jshine: The EU should just go full-retard and get England to trademark the English language & demand royalties.


Nobody wants royalties, they just want you to stop calling your stuff after our places. It's pretty simple really.
 
2014-03-04 10:20:26 AM
I'll stick with some yummy Pinconning cheese, thank you very much.... and you Europeans can keep your stinky flaccid cheeses.

img2u.info
 
2014-03-04 10:21:13 AM

Gothnet: jshine: The EU should just go full-retard and get England to trademark the English language & demand royalties.

Nobody wants royalties, they just want you to stop calling your stuff after our places. It's pretty simple really.



So the United States & Canada can't speak English (nor can the rest of Europe, Ireland, Scotland, or anywhere else, for that matter), nor can anyone in South America speak Spanish or Portuguese.  ...and don't even get me started on the Québécois!
 
2014-03-04 10:22:06 AM

jshine: Gothnet: jshine: The EU should just go full-retard and get England to trademark the English language & demand royalties.

Nobody wants royalties, they just want you to stop calling your stuff after our places. It's pretty simple really.


So the United States & Canada can't speak English (nor can the rest of Europe, Ireland, Scotland, or anywhere else, for that matter), nor can anyone in South America speak Spanish or Portuguese.  ...and don't even get me started on the Québécois!



/ and people mocked me when I said them furriners were speaking "Mexican" -- turns out I was right all along!
 
2014-03-04 10:22:19 AM
They had reasonable success with the term "Champagne". I think enforcing cheese names will be a lot more difficult. Don't even get me started on balsmic vinegar... You Philistines had better be clarifying genuine "Aceto Balsamico Tradizionale", from Modena or Reggio Emilia or we're gonna have ourselves a gawdamned flame war.

Oh BTW, damn straight I'll be commenting about what I project your your personal appearance to be... and you won't want to even get me started about your mom.
 
2014-03-04 10:24:51 AM
So basically the only American cheeses you'll be able to buy will all be named:

Your Mom's Frumunda

Hobo Crotch

New Jersey Jockstrap
 
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