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(The Atlantic)   The four most common complaints Americans have when visiting the ER, though the order of prominence is different depending on geographical location   (theatlantic.com) divider line 133
    More: Interesting, Americans, emergency rooms, complaints, emergency medicines, er doctor, Agency for Healthcare Research, emergency room visits, family physician  
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10559 clicks; posted to Main » on 03 Mar 2014 at 8:53 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2014-03-03 08:55:39 PM  
Here is a question: What would the four most common complaints Farkers have when visiting the E.R. ??
 
2014-03-03 08:56:25 PM  
I am glad they did not count Appalachia as a separate group.
 
2014-03-03 08:57:57 PM  
i wonder how many of those visits for 'sprains and strains' are preceded by, and a direct cause of, the statement "hold my beer and watch this". It is the south after all.
 
2014-03-03 08:58:01 PM  
"Superficial injury"

Sissy yanks!
 
2014-03-03 08:58:15 PM  
I'm surprised number 1 isn't "I live in a country with privatized healthcare which is why I'm in the god damn hospital with what started as a toothache."
 
2014-03-03 09:00:09 PM  

Beerguy: Here is a question: What would the four most common complaints Farkers have when visiting the E.R. ??


1. So very scared
 
2014-03-03 09:01:49 PM  
1. My neck
2. My back
3. My neck AND my back
4. I want $150,000
 
2014-03-03 09:03:00 PM  

Beerguy: Here is a question: What would the four most common complaints Farkers have when visiting the E.R. ??


1. Crushing, persistent headache
2. Very dry mouth
3. Sensitivity to light
4. Unusually precise, unslurred speech.
 
2014-03-03 09:03:15 PM  

Dow Jones and the Temple of Doom: I'm surprised number 1 isn't "I live in a country with privatized healthcare which is why I'm in the god damn hospital with what started as a toothache."


The reality is people use the er for headaches and colds
 
2014-03-03 09:04:14 PM  

Beerguy: Here is a question: What would the four most common complaints Farkers have when visiting the E.R. ??


That's a really stupid question.

1) They don't serve booze
2-4) See 1
 
2014-03-03 09:05:26 PM  
I thought they would like my real complaints: I have been sitting here filling out their damned forms for two hours while I bleed on the floor (true story, had a bad cut on a knuckle I could see the tendon), they are more concerned about how I am going to pay than treating me, why can't they isolate this person next to me showing symptoms of God knows what, and  since I am the only one here why am I still waiting?
 
2014-03-03 09:06:10 PM  

Beerguy: Here is a question: What would the four most common complaints Farkers have when visiting the E.R. ??


Broken wrist, gastroenteritis. Those are my only two.

I feel embarrassed about wasting their time with the gastroenteritis, since it's easily treatable and I'd already had it for a week. But my brother the head of emergency services told me to go.

People who go for sprains should be beaten. I've had a broken elbow, a torn MCL-ACL-cartilage, and severe influenza, and not gone to emergency either time. And I'm in frickin' Canada.
 
2014-03-03 09:07:05 PM  

Beerguy: Here is a question: What would the four most common complaints Farkers have when visiting the E.R. ??


1: "I don't know how that got stuck in there."

2: "Yeah, but only four or five drinks."

3: "You mean showering will get rid of that rash?"

4: "I don't know why my knees are hurting, do you have any bigger gowns by any chance? Nevermind, I'll just use this bedsheet."
 
2014-03-03 09:07:13 PM  
It burns when I pee....again!
 
2014-03-03 09:07:16 PM  
I had two friends FOREGO emergency rooms this week even though they have exceptional insurance and wanted to just "see how it feels tomorrow".

One of them needed 8 stitches and 4 teeth reset, the other turned out to have a broken leg when they each finally got to the doctor.

Americans are pussies. You embarrass me.
 
2014-03-03 09:07:34 PM  
Sprains and strains? Fat people problems.
 
2014-03-03 09:09:07 PM  
At the same time, though, "patients do a poor job of recognizing when they have an emergency," Reiter said. ERs are the right place for new problems, but the absolute wrong place for illnesses that have been lingering for ages.
"If you've had chronic pelvic pain for five years, you're going to get better off seeing the same doctor over time rather than an ER doctor," he said.


Not all people have had the luxury of seeing a doctor due to lack of insurance and stagnant wages for the past thirty years.
 
2014-03-03 09:09:57 PM  

nyseattitude: 1) They don't serve booze


Tell them that you accidentally drank some methanol and now you're having vision problems.
 
2014-03-03 09:10:42 PM  
The South: sprains and strains from farking that chicken.
 
2014-03-03 09:10:46 PM  
The best part is that the results end up doing a good job of stereotyping each region (well, the upper midwest probably has reasons for respiratory problems).
 
2014-03-03 09:10:48 PM  
general practitioners set up cooperatives to take turns handling patients after hours, and that perhaps the U.S. should look to them as an example

Funny enough, I used to go to Patient first for after hours when my primary wasn't available.  I discovered recently a new facility that a group or ER docs setup.  No waits, better locations, better facilities and better staff.
 
2014-03-03 09:11:17 PM  
The only two people I know who went to the ER for abdominal pain - one was a ruptured ovarian cyst, the other (my husband) was sent back to his hotel with an antacid cocktail.  A few hours later he was calling me and telling me he was now on a gurney in the ER and headed to surgery for an appendectomy.  Barely made it in time.  Sometimes things really ARE emergencies.
 
2014-03-03 09:11:50 PM  

Beerguy: Here is a question: What would the four most common complaints Farkers have when visiting the E.R. ??


1. Having your ballsack stuck between some chair slats.
 
JVD
2014-03-03 09:12:51 PM  
I think I might head to the ER if I needed something sewn back on.
 
2014-03-03 09:13:26 PM  
I just spent a month in the ED of a large south-side Chicago hospital.  85% of the crap i saw was drug related, directly or indirectly.  Had a guy get up and walk out with an active, progressive, aortic dissection because his heroin fix was wearing off.  Actually he said he "had to take care of some things," but it was pretty obvious what the real reason was. He had about a 50/50 chance of living for the next 48 hours without treatment.  Never saw him again.
 
2014-03-03 09:14:12 PM  
The only complaint I had the last time I went to the ER was that the nurses were distractingly hot.
 
2014-03-03 09:14:57 PM  

nyseattitude: Beerguy: Here is a question: What would the four most common complaints Farkers have when visiting the E.R. ??

That's a really stupid question.

1) They don't serve booze
2-4) See 1


That and too many sick people.
 
2014-03-03 09:15:14 PM  

Suckmaster Burstingfoam: Beerguy: Here is a question: What would the four most common complaints Farkers have when visiting the E.R. ??

Broken wrist, gastroenteritis. Those are my only two.

I feel embarrassed about wasting their time with the gastroenteritis, since it's easily treatable and I'd already had it for a week. But my brother the head of emergency services told me to go.

People who go for sprains should be beaten. I've had a broken elbow, a torn MCL-ACL-cartilage, and severe influenza, and not gone to emergency either time. And I'm in frickin' Canada.


Oh also:

- punctured eyelid
- hand slashed open
- lip punched through by a tooth
- fractured kneecap with torn prepatellar bursa
- weird clenching feeling around my heart
- alcohol poisoning several times

All things I never went to ER for.

Dad always made me just walk shiat off.
 
2014-03-03 09:15:21 PM  
Not as many rectal foreign objects as i might have thought.
 
2014-03-03 09:15:36 PM  

Fano: Beerguy: Here is a question: What would the four most common complaints Farkers have when visiting the E.R. ??

1. So very scared


Lol'ed so very hard at that. I may have injured myself... Off to the ER. At least i'm canuck, so no need to pay.

/suck it 'murkans!
 
2014-03-03 09:15:43 PM  

had98c: 1. My neck
2. My back


Lick my pussy and my crack
 
2014-03-03 09:15:53 PM  

toetag: general practitioners set up cooperatives to take turns handling patients after hours, and that perhaps the U.S. should look to them as an example

Funny enough, I used to go to Patient first for after hours when my primary wasn't available.  I discovered recently a new facility that a group or ER docs setup.  No waits, better locations, better facilities and better staff.


Much of the things handled by an ER in the United States could be taken care of by a "Doc in the Box" urgent care clinic.
 
2014-03-03 09:16:34 PM  

kidgenius: Beerguy: Here is a question: What would the four most common complaints Farkers have when visiting the E.R. ??

1. Having your ballsack stuck between some chair slats.


What the fark. You've never heard of a circular saw?

HTFU
 
2014-03-03 09:17:47 PM  

Suckmaster Burstingfoam: kidgenius: Beerguy: Here is a question: What would the four most common complaints Farkers have when visiting the E.R. ??

1. Having your ballsack stuck between some chair slats.

What the fark. You've never heard of a circular saw?

HTFU


That's a drastic solution. He may want kids someday.
 
2014-03-03 09:18:08 PM  

Beerguy: Here is a question: What would the four most common complaints Farkers have when visiting the E.R. ??


Arm injuries to the dominant arm due to repetitive motion

Severe chaffing

Vacuums

Gerbils
 
2014-03-03 09:19:20 PM  

BigLuca: Suckmaster Burstingfoam: kidgenius: Beerguy: Here is a question: What would the four most common complaints Farkers have when visiting the E.R. ??

1. Having your ballsack stuck between some chair slats.

What the fark. You've never heard of a circular saw?

HTFU

That's a drastic solution. He may want kids someday.


You cut chair slats with the circular saw.

If that doesn't work, WD40 will sufficiently grease up those obviously sticky, coarse-skinned balls.
 
2014-03-03 09:22:12 PM  

had98c: 1. My neck
2. My back
3. My neck AND my back
4. I want $150,000

and a big bag of weed
 
2014-03-03 09:22:41 PM  

Suckmaster Burstingfoam: - weird clenching feeling around my heart


I went to the ER for that. Turned out to be pericarditis. Turns out I could have just taken a shiatload of Advil instead of incurring thousands of dollars in medical bills.
 
2014-03-03 09:23:34 PM  
Worked in an ER for 4 years in college. Mostly at the triage desk. 90% of that shiat could have waited for a regular GP. And hence, not an emergency. And hence, should have been tossed out on their ear. And hence, EMTALA should be changed to only apply to exigent cases. Othewise, GTFO!

Liberal logic:

1) Force ER's to treat all comers, emergency or not.
2) Say it costs to much to treat people in ERs!
3) Therefore, socialized medicine!

And yes, it is socialized when someone else pays for it. Socialization is risk- or cost-spreading, so don't play semantics.
 
2014-03-03 09:24:08 PM  

fusillade762: Turned out to be pericarditis. Turns out I could have just taken a shiatload of Advil instead of incurring thousands of dollars in medical bills.


You know, giving someone advice to ignore chest pain that is crushing or clenching, ESPECIALLY if they have cardiac risk factors, is a goddamned stupid and irresponsible thing to do, right?

And Pericarditis can be life threatening under certain conditions.
 
2014-03-03 09:25:47 PM  

StanTheMan: Worked in an ER for 4 years in college. Mostly at the triage desk. 90% of that shiat could have waited for a regular GP. And hence, not an emergency. And hence, should have been tossed out on their ear. And hence, EMTALA should be changed to only apply to exigent cases. Othewise, GTFO!

Liberal logic:

1) Force ER's to treat all comers, emergency or not.
2) Say it costs to much to treat people in ERs!
3) Therefore, socialized medicine!

And yes, it is socialized when someone else pays for it. Socialization is risk- or cost-spreading, so don't play semantics.


"Cost-spreading"? You mean like "risk pooling"?
 
2014-03-03 09:25:48 PM  

kidgenius: Beerguy: Here is a question: What would the four most common complaints Farkers have when visiting the E.R. ??

1. Having your ballsack stuck between some chair slats.


Is this where I tell the story about the time my brother got his gear stuck in a fence?
 
2014-03-03 09:26:01 PM  

StanTheMan: Worked in an ER for 4 years in college. Mostly at the triage desk. 90% of that shiat could have waited for a regular GP. And hence, not an emergency. And hence, should have been tossed out on their ear. And hence, EMTALA should be changed to only apply to exigent cases. Othewise, GTFO!

Liberal logic:

1) Force ER's to treat all comers, emergency or not.
2) Say it costs to much to treat people in ERs!
3) Therefore, socialized medicine!

And yes, it is socialized when someone else pays for it. Socialization is risk- or cost-spreading, so don't play semantics.


So where were the people without medical insurance, and therefore no GP, go to get treated? The reason why they went to the ER was it was the only place they can get treatment.
 
2014-03-03 09:26:30 PM  
As someone sitting in an ER currently, I'm not getting a kick at all. Dumb stepson fell on the ice shoveling his car out at 3 PM, then waited till now to go get his elbow checked.

\ cutting in to drinking time
\ the gf wouldn't let me bring a flask
 
2014-03-03 09:26:54 PM  

StanTheMan: Liberal logic:


History Lesson: Did you ever see the movie "Mother, Jugs and Speed"? The pivotal scene in the movie when the woman dies in the back of the ambulance with her child stuck inside of her?

That wasn't hollywood. That was reality before COBRA and EMTALA.

That's the reason triage nurses can't tell people to GOMER. Because people literally died in their parking lots.
 
2014-03-03 09:27:03 PM  
Obligatory:

assets.amuniversal.com
 
2014-03-03 09:27:18 PM  

hardinparamedic: toetag: general practitioners set up cooperatives to take turns handling patients after hours, and that perhaps the U.S. should look to them as an example

Funny enough, I used to go to Patient first for after hours when my primary wasn't available.  I discovered recently a new facility that a group or ER docs setup.  No waits, better locations, better facilities and better staff.

Much of the things handled by an ER in the United States could be taken care of by a "Doc in the Box" urgent care clinic.


Yeah. Those things are amazing when you get sick or injured on a night/weekend. And cost an order of magnitude less than an ER visit.
 
2014-03-03 09:27:53 PM  

hardinparamedic: Much of the things handled by an ER in the United States could be taken care of by a "Doc in the Box" urgent care clinic.


We don't go to primary other than for regular visits.  We try to stay out of the ER but both me and the wife playing competitive soccer, it happens occasionally.
 
2014-03-03 09:28:02 PM  

jtown: kidgenius: Beerguy: Here is a question: What would the four most common complaints Farkers have when visiting the E.R. ??

1. Having your ballsack stuck between some chair slats.

Is this where I tell the story about the time my brother got his gear stuck in a fence?


Pics or GTFO
 
2014-03-03 09:28:19 PM  

hardinparamedic: fusillade762: Turned out to be pericarditis. Turns out I could have just taken a shiatload of Advil instead of incurring thousands of dollars in medical bills.

You know, giving someone advice to ignore chest pain that is crushing or clenching, ESPECIALLY if they have cardiac risk factors, is a goddamned stupid and irresponsible thing to do, right?

And Pericarditis can be life threatening under certain conditions.


It's funny, when people have possibly life-threatening symptoms, they're always pissed at the wasted money if they're not dying.  I've never heard anyone diagnosed with terminal heart failure say "Well at least the cash for the tests was well spent!"
 
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