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    More: Obvious, lazinesses, English-speaking world, learning process  
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9590 clicks; posted to Main » on 03 Mar 2014 at 5:59 PM (20 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2014-03-03 05:20:51 PM
Missing from the list: Journalist, where you can just repost shiat from Quora, Buzzfeed, or Reddit all day, instead of ....whatever it is 'real' journalists do (I've forgotten).
 
2014-03-03 05:32:09 PM
 
2014-03-03 06:01:54 PM
Meh... I'll get it it later.
 
2014-03-03 06:02:53 PM
Architect is a good career for the smart and lazy
 
2014-03-03 06:05:36 PM
Can someone summarize this article for me?

I'd read it myself, but I really want to concentrate on getting this chess computer into check.
 
2014-03-03 06:07:46 PM
I always thought the best jobs start with the word "blow".
 
2014-03-03 06:08:41 PM
What, no government teat?
 
2014-03-03 06:09:44 PM
Arvind Krishnan quotes billionaire Bill Gates as saying "'I will always choose a lazy person to do a difficult job, because he will find an easy way to do it'."  So lazy-but-intelligent people of the world:"Looks like you have a shot at Microsoft," wrote Krishnan.

This explains so much about Windows...
 
2014-03-03 06:09:57 PM
There's smart lazy and there's stupid lazy.  The smart lazy wash the dishes soon after the meal is done, because the food is 10x easier to clean before it dries and cakes on the plates.  A smart lazy person will always save their future selves work if they can.  But the smart lazy person will never do something that might not end up needing to be done, or can be put off without consequence.  Solve the stuff you can immediately that will only be tougher if you wait, don't do squat about anything beyond that.
 
2014-03-03 06:10:26 PM
Red carpet fashion critic -- just be snarky as hell, squeal here and there, and look like you're about to pass out from the vapors and you'll go far.
 
2014-03-03 06:11:09 PM
How about modern artist?
 
2014-03-03 06:14:45 PM

glutto: How about modern artist?


HOLY SH*T!!!  That explains a lot!
 
2014-03-03 06:16:56 PM

Incontinent_dog_and_monkey_rodeo: There's smart lazy and there's stupid lazy.  The smart lazy wash the dishes soon after the meal is done, because the food is 10x easier to clean before it dries and cakes on the plates.  A smart lazy person will always save their future selves work if they can.  But the smart lazy person will never do something that might not end up needing to be done, or can be put off without consequence.  Solve the stuff you can immediately that will only be tougher if you wait, don't do squat about anything beyond that.


This.  I'll take exactly one smart lazy guy because he's ALWAYS thinking about how to make a job easier.
 
2014-03-03 06:16:59 PM
We're sorry but this site is not accessible from the UK as it is part of our international service and is not funded by the licence fee.

Are you farking kidding me?
 
2014-03-03 06:17:17 PM
Might I suggest any position in the federal government other than president, soldier in combat, guy who repairs the cracks in the Washington Monument or astronaut?

And anything in state government other than correctional officer?
 
2014-03-03 06:17:26 PM

lostcat: Can someone summarize this article for me?

I'd read it myself, but I really want to concentrate on getting this chess computer into check.


Simply trying to keep checking your opponent is not a winning startegy.
 
2014-03-03 06:21:31 PM
Do what my colleague did... get tenure and never do anything other than teach 12 hours of classes a week, and spend the rest of your time slumped in your office chair, drooling at the computer screen.
 
2014-03-03 06:23:14 PM
Teaching English is pretty nice since you can make a middle class salary working 20 hours or so a week, but those are 20 hours a week you're standing in front of a classroom teaching - not working while checking facebook or farking. It can be absolutely exhausting, and you really have to put your heart into it or you're cheating kids out of what is, hands-down, the most useful thing they learn in school.
 
2014-03-03 06:23:47 PM

Incontinent_dog_and_monkey_rodeo: There's smart lazy and there's stupid lazy.  The smart lazy wash the dishes soon after the meal is done, because the food is 10x easier to clean before it dries and cakes on the plates.


Smarter lazy puts the goddammed plates in the goddammed dishwasher when he feels like it, presses the "wash my goddammed dishes" button, and smokes a bowl out on the back porch.
 
2014-03-03 06:25:18 PM

FarkinNortherner: We're sorry but this site is not accessible from the UK as it is part of our international service and is not funded by the licence fee.

Are you farking kidding me?


A lot of the BBC links here produce that error. Apparently our delicate sensibilities must be protected from the knowledge that the beeb engages in commercial activities in other parts of the world. Any content produced through those activities is fruit of a poisoned tree and must be excluded, lest it contaminate our precious bodily fluids or something...
 
2014-03-03 06:31:11 PM

b0rscht: Smarter lazy puts the goddammed plates in the goddammed dishwasher when he feels like it, presses the "wash my goddammed dishes" button, and smokes a bowl out on the back porch.


Even-smarter-lazy lets the dog handle the pre-wash before putting the dishes in the dishwasher, and smoking a bowl in the pool room while watching South Park re-runs, and racking a game of 9-ball.
 
2014-03-03 06:35:06 PM
I have a friend in Japan who often tells me I should move there and teach English. I'm starting to seriously consider it.
 
2014-03-03 06:40:36 PM

Sin_City_Superhero: b0rscht: Smarter lazy puts the goddammed plates in the goddammed dishwasher when he feels like it, presses the "wash my goddammed dishes" button, and smokes a bowl out on the back porch.

Even-smarter-lazy lets the dog handle the pre-wash before putting the dishes in the dishwasher, and smoking a bowl in the pool room while watching South Park re-runs, and racking a game of 9-ball.


Smartest lazy synthesizes nutrients from any surrounding matter.
 
2014-03-03 06:45:23 PM
I briefly looked in to teaching English in Korea.  Make about 30k and a place to stay for about 10 months of work.  Sounded interesting, but I'm nervous about quitting my job, this not working for past one year, then trying to find another job back home.
 
2014-03-03 06:48:22 PM

b0rscht: Do what my colleague did... get tenure and never do anything other than teach 12 hours of classes a week, and spend the rest of your time slumped in your office chair, drooling at the computer screen.


It's almost impossible to get tenure at a university these days.  It's been that way for over a decades.

In other words, you have to work really hard to get yourself into a position where you can be lazy.
 
2014-03-03 07:04:16 PM

oukewldave: I briefly looked in to teaching English in Korea.  Make about 30k and a place to stay for about 10 months of work.  Sounded interesting, but I'm nervous about quitting my job, this not working for past one year, then trying to find another job back home.


Do it - you'll never regret the experience.
 
2014-03-03 07:44:03 PM

Incontinent_dog_and_monkey_rodeo: Sin_City_Superhero: b0rscht: Smarter lazy puts the goddammed plates in the goddammed dishwasher when he feels like it, presses the "wash my goddammed dishes" button, and smokes a bowl out on the back porch.

Even-smarter-lazy lets the dog handle the pre-wash before putting the dishes in the dishwasher, and smoking a bowl in the pool room while watching South Park re-runs, and racking a game of 9-ball.

Smartest lazy synthesizes nutrients from any surrounding matter.


www.sundaydumbday.com
 
2014-03-03 07:46:35 PM
if someone would PS some popcorn into that, it'd be much appreciated.
 
2014-03-03 07:54:46 PM

postnobills: FarkinNortherner: We're sorry but this site is not accessible from the UK as it is part of our international service and is not funded by the licence fee.

Are you farking kidding me?

A lot of the BBC links here produce that error. Apparently our delicate sensibilities must be protected from the knowledge that the beeb engages in commercial activities in other parts of the world. Any content produced through those activities is fruit of a poisoned tree and must be excluded, lest it contaminate our precious bodily fluids or something...


No, it's because the BBC is forbidden by law from using licence fee money to pay for any service outside the UK (though Camerons government has decided to make an exception and make the licence payer pay for the World Service instead of the government who paid up to now) so the BBC has to use advertising. The BBC is also forbidden from carrying any advertising inside the UK. Hence UK websites are not available outside the UK while overseas websites are not available inside the UK.
And it isn't as simple as just not putting adverts on the pages if viewed from the UK. That content has been paid for by advertising, so cannot be shown in the UK.

The BBC has a minefield of such legislation it must follow. Did you know, for example, that although the BBC has a commercial subsidiary, BBC Worldwide (who can operate inside the UK since they receive no licence fee funding, and own and operate channels like Dave and Gold with adverts), the BBC actually employs about a hundred people within the BBC to negotiate contracts with BBC Worldwide to ensue the BBC (licence funded) gets fair market price from BBC Worldwide (commercially funded).
If the BBC gave any content to Worldwide at below "fair market value" they would be violating competition law and could be sued by content makers and competitors. The BBC even has a few physical stores where they must ensure they do not price their DVDs cheaper than other stores in the High Street, or they could be breaking unfair competition law.

It's a nightmare, but we get lots of great stuff like Top Gear and Sherlock all with no adverts, so overall it works out a great deal IMHO.
 
2014-03-03 08:04:54 PM
If you don't mind the 7 hours of Fark, followed by 1 hour of manic busyness schedule, owning your own law firm is a good choice.
 
2014-03-03 08:06:37 PM
Was that article supposed to be some kind of meta performance art about laziness?

It had maybe 1.5 examples, then "Uh, be an expert" (which is either every job or no job), then a Bill Gates quote.
 
2014-03-03 08:21:35 PM
Teacher:  What is the most useful thing you have learned how to say so far?
Class: (Silence. Chinese crickets chirp in pocket of one pupil who brought his pets to school.)
One pupil at back: Good morning, teacher!
Teacher: That is incorrect, but nice try.

The most useful thing you have learned to say so far is "SHOW ME THE MONEY!"
Class (eyes light up with recognition): SHOW ME THE MONEY!
Teacher: SHOW ME THE MONEY! You are now qualified to be an English Teacher in any country in Asia.

Tomorrow I will teach you the magical phrase that makes you an IT expert.

Here's a preview: Have you tried turning it off and on again?
 
2014-03-03 08:23:05 PM

Dwight_Yeast: b0rscht: Do what my colleague did... get tenure and never do anything other than teach 12 hours of classes a week, and spend the rest of your time slumped in your office chair, drooling at the computer screen.

It's almost impossible to get tenure at a university these days.  It's been that way for over a decades.

In other words, you have to work really hard to get yourself into a position where you can be lazy.


No, it's not hard to get tenure at most places. It is hard to get a tenure-track position, as the number of positions is limited and the pool of applicants quite large. Once you're in a tenure-track position, then all you have to do is follow their guidelines to getting tenure. For me, I just need to bring in enough research dollars to offset my salary, plus keep my teaching evaluations out of the toilet. Sit on a committee or two, show up to a few events, and I'm golden. This is pretty standard at most places that aren't ivy league. Now, getting tenure at MIT or Harvard is a different story.
 
2014-03-03 08:25:08 PM
Teacher: Here is a list of meaningless catch-phrases and words whose meaning nobody knows. You are now qualified to be CEO and earn more than your home province makes in a year. Go forth and bring down Civilization, and if you can't do that, at least take down Wall Street or the City.
 
2014-03-03 08:34:57 PM
The quotation from Bill Gates is virtually identical to the advice given in Letters of a Chicago Businessman to His Son in the early 1900s. Give the work to a lazy man and he will find an easy way to do it.

Conversely, it is also sensible to give the work to a busy man. He will also do it quickly, because he is not a lazy man or any good at evading work. Good workers have to work quickly and well because all the work magically comes to them.

In other words, find a Dilbert or a Wally. Wally is a risky bet, because he is very good at avoiding work, but he might figure out that it is not worth doing or simply find the right way to dump it (in a trashcan, for example, or o somebody who is too stupid or too busy to notice they are doing somebody else's work without any credit), while Dilbert will just plug away at it.

Sometimes I am a bit of a Dilbert and persist longer than I should, but I have organized and automated (and thus worked my way out of many jobs) by finding easier ways to do them. Also, I have a rudimentary sense of when a job is not worth doing at all, although I am too stubborn to give up and let it slide.
 
2014-03-03 08:44:32 PM
As it happens, taking a laid-back approach to tackling a project is not always a negative either. Arvind Krishnan quotes billionaire Bill Gates as saying "'I will always choose a lazy person to do a difficult job, because he will find an easy way to do it'."

My model for this person is the Verizon programmer who farmed out the duties of his job to a Chinese company while he himself watched cat videos and surfed eBay, Facebook, and LinkedIn all day. By pulling this simultaneously with several companies, he netted multi-$100Ks per year for doing jack.  My hero.
 
2014-03-03 09:04:47 PM

Sin_City_Superhero: I always thought the best jobs start with the word "blow".


My wife is quite skilled in "hand" work as well.  I never get tired of her work
 
2014-03-03 10:20:39 PM

endmile: Dwight_Yeast: b0rscht: Do what my colleague did... get tenure and never do anything other than teach 12 hours of classes a week, and spend the rest of your time slumped in your office chair, drooling at the computer screen.

It's almost impossible to get tenure at a university these days.  It's been that way for over a decades.

In other words, you have to work really hard to get yourself into a position where you can be lazy.

No, it's not hard to get tenure at most places. It is hard to get a tenure-track position, as the number of positions is limited and the pool of applicants quite large. Once you're in a tenure-track position, then all you have to do is follow their guidelines to getting tenure. For me, I just need to bring in enough research dollars to offset my salary, plus keep my teaching evaluations out of the toilet. Sit on a committee or two, show up to a few events, and I'm golden. This is pretty standard at most places that aren't ivy league. Now, getting tenure at MIT or Harvard is a different story.


I agree, this is pretty standard at most institutions. However I would also agree that standards for getting tenure have steadily increased over time as well. Said colleague got tenure publishing one paper in a craptastic journal in the late 80s. Now at the same institutions, it's three or four quality papers, grants, service, great teaching as well. It chaps my ass to have deadwood around who use their faculty position as a phased retirement program. Then again, I'm chair so I get to schedule classes.

/tiny fists balled up in impotent rage are nice, but you could just retire....
 
2014-03-03 10:33:02 PM
Smart but lazy folks will just say they are undecided voters, and the libtards will shower them in mad dog, smokes, and cheese until they get stuck in the ground.
 
2014-03-03 11:39:25 PM

Incontinent_dog_and_monkey_rodeo: Sin_City_Superhero: b0rscht: Smarter lazy puts the goddammed plates in the goddammed dishwasher when he feels like it, presses the "wash my goddammed dishes" button, and smokes a bowl out on the back porch.

Even-smarter-lazy lets the dog handle the pre-wash before putting the dishes in the dishwasher, and smoking a bowl in the pool room while watching South Park re-runs, and racking a game of 9-ball.

Smartest lazy synthesizes nutrients from any surrounding matter.


Sure.
But what happens when you run out of Cheetos and mom's not going to the store that day?
 
2014-03-03 11:48:43 PM

Resident Muslim: Incontinent_dog_and_monkey_rodeo: Sin_City_Superhero: b0rscht: Smarter lazy puts the goddammed plates in the goddammed dishwasher when he feels like it, presses the "wash my goddammed dishes" button, and smokes a bowl out on the back porch.

Even-smarter-lazy lets the dog handle the pre-wash before putting the dishes in the dishwasher, and smoking a bowl in the pool room while watching South Park re-runs, and racking a game of 9-ball.

Smartest lazy synthesizes nutrients from any surrounding matter.

Sure.
But what happens when you run out of Cheetos and mom's not going to the store that day?


Eat your mother.  (Not an urban dis.)
 
2014-03-04 08:25:19 AM
Computer programmer for just this reason. Laziness is actually a huge benefit if you use it in the right way. I spend my time thinking of ways to make my job easier so I can have more time to spend thinking of ways to make my job easier.
 
2014-03-04 01:51:59 PM
My interests involve more fursuits.
 
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