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(The Drinks Business)   Entrepreneur seeks funding to use the latest technology to replicate something that was possible two millennia ago   (thedrinksbusiness.com) divider line 50
    More: Interesting, Philip James, air cleaner, millennia, gadgets, startup company  
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12848 clicks; posted to Main » on 03 Mar 2014 at 1:29 PM (25 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



50 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2014-03-03 01:34:32 PM
It doesn't matter if it works perfectly, some snobs will still claim to be able to tell the difference.
 
2014-03-03 01:35:00 PM
i.imgur.com
 
2014-03-03 01:35:33 PM
Thought No Comments Allowed again as 1 last wk.  Ought Not Comment Anyhoo but will just for Halibut -- wouldn't vote for funding, but not gonna downvote this irregardless so there.  Nyahh.
 
2014-03-03 01:36:21 PM
FTFA -  it is possible to replicate the aromas found in certain wines in the same way the perfume industry is able to simulate certain aromas


...so.......    Whale piss ????   Are you drinking whale piss?
 
2014-03-03 01:36:27 PM
So they invented a wine making kit? Surprised no one ever thought of that before.
 
2014-03-03 01:37:26 PM
"The Miracle Machine essentially works like a Soda Stream by turning water, grape concentrate and yeast into wine via a mobile phone app supported by iOS and Android. "

This has to be the biggest load of BS kickstarter scam campaign I think I've read about all year.
 
2014-03-03 01:38:22 PM
simplefreechurch.files.wordpress.com

Old school
 
2014-03-03 01:38:36 PM

Smeggy Smurf: [i.imgur.com image 540x720]


What was the requirement supposed to be, 12 glasses of water a day?
 
2014-03-03 01:39:56 PM
But it has an app!

I pity the customer who gets an angry batch of yeast.
 
2014-03-03 01:41:52 PM

abhorrent1: So they invented a wine making kit? Surprised no one ever thought of that before.


I was thinking the same thing.  There are already at least a couple of countertop "all in one" wine making machines out there.  This one just looks prettier.  Set the price high enough and it will be a perfect product for Apple fans.
 
2014-03-03 01:48:56 PM

cptjeff: Smeggy Smurf: [i.imgur.com image 540x720]

What was the requirement supposed to be, 12 glasses of water a day?


At least
 
2014-03-03 01:55:58 PM
Call me when he replicates these.

s28.postimg.org
 
2014-03-03 02:06:12 PM
I gizmo to put your prison wine fixins in.  Genius.
 
2014-03-03 02:15:44 PM

laulaja: Thought No Comments Allowed again as 1 last wk.  Ought Not Comment Anyhoo but will just for Halibut -- wouldn't vote for funding, but not gonna downvote this irregardless so there.  Nyahh.


Seems we've found their test pilot.
 
2014-03-03 02:17:01 PM
It costs $500 and it takes 3 days to make 1 bottle of wine. I think the old fashioned bucket, carboy, and time method makes more sense for most people.
 
2014-03-03 02:20:47 PM
Next thing you know they will be turning goat piss into gasoline.
 
2014-03-03 02:26:40 PM
Meh, I'll wait until Apple comes out with the same thing but better designed with smoother edges and interfaces with iTunes.
 
2014-03-03 02:51:32 PM

Abe Vigoda's Ghost: [simplefreechurch.files.wordpress.com image 456x500]

Old school


i5.photobucket.com
 
2014-03-03 02:55:40 PM

laulaja: Thought No Comments Allowed again as 1 last wk.  Ought Not Comment Anyhoo but will just for Halibut -- wouldn't vote for funding, but not gonna downvote this irregardless so there.  Nyahh.


Are you due for a med check?
 
2014-03-03 03:00:55 PM
Something tells me you'd have to very selectively choose your $20 bottle to compare it to, and maybe leave it out on a summer day for a bit first. It's likely a lot closer to three-buck chuck, and that's going to take a very long time to make any ROI. If they have some magical flavor-changing chemicals, wouldn't they make a lot more money selling them to one of the huge dirt-cheap wine distributors instead? You'd think there's a lot of money in faking aged-tasting wine.

Love the random left field comments in TFA, though.
 
2014-03-03 03:01:46 PM

abhorrent1: So they invented a wine making kit? Surprised no one ever thought of that before.


Sounds like they have invented the automated software-controlled wine making kit.

Unless it measures sugar content and checks for preservatives I predict many angry customers.
 
2014-03-03 03:14:42 PM

McGrits: But it has an app!

I pity the customer who gets an angry batch of yeast.


Your mom?
 
2014-03-03 03:20:56 PM

foxyshadis: Something tells me you'd have to very selectively choose your $20 bottle to compare it to, and maybe leave it out on a summer day for a bit first. It's likely a lot closer to three-buck chuck, and that's going to take a very long time to make any ROI. If they have some magical flavor-changing chemicals, wouldn't they make a lot more money selling them to one of the huge dirt-cheap wine distributors instead? You'd think there's a lot of money in faking aged-tasting wine.

Love the random left field comments in TFA, though.


You would think so but I honestly doubt it.  People don't buy wine based on it's deep aromatics or any other bullshiat.  It's the same with beer, a good label great selling point and a commercial are all it takes to make a winning brand.

Hell even the 'experts' are full of shiat.

/self professed 'expert' telling me I'm wrong in 3...2....
 
2014-03-03 03:21:46 PM
or you could just buy one of these:

ts3.mm.bing.net
 
2014-03-03 03:24:11 PM

BATMANATEE: It costs $500 and it takes 3 days to make 1 bottle of wine.


images.sodahead.com
 
2014-03-03 03:27:00 PM

abhorrent1: So they invented a wine making kit? Surprised no one ever thought of that before.


They did. It was a little low brow though.

This is just a cleaned up version for the hipster crowd so they can have their iWine
 
2014-03-03 03:43:48 PM

Perducci: abhorrent1: So they invented a wine making kit? Surprised no one ever thought of that before.

I was thinking the same thing.  There are already at least a couple of countertop "all in one" wine making machines out there.  This one just looks prettier.  Set the price high enough and it will be a perfect product for Apple fans.


I really need to find an old product and re-invent it in a shiny sleek case and sell it to idiots for three times what it's worth. Apple and Dyson haven proven this works.
 
2014-03-03 03:47:58 PM
So he invented Welch's concentrate?
 
2014-03-03 04:13:32 PM

SpectroBoy: abhorrent1: So they invented a wine making kit? Surprised no one ever thought of that before.

Sounds like they have invented the automated software-controlled wine making kit.

Unless it measures sugar content and checks for preservatives I predict many angry customers.


So you're saying there's going to be a lot of whining going on?
 
2014-03-03 04:16:32 PM

abhorrent1: Perducci: abhorrent1: So they invented a wine making kit? Surprised no one ever thought of that before.

I was thinking the same thing.  There are already at least a couple of countertop "all in one" wine making machines out there.  This one just looks prettier.  Set the price high enough and it will be a perfect product for Apple fans.

I really need to find an old product and re-invent it in a shiny sleek case and sell it to idiots for three times what it's worth. Apple and Dyson haven proven this works.


Or exploit the interaction between modern tech and an idiot's lack of understanding the tech.

www.sonicflare.com
 
2014-03-03 04:21:43 PM
Or you could just buy wine.

This idea is even dumber than human cloning.
 
2014-03-03 04:24:47 PM
I make homebrew wine occasionally. It's messy, it involves lots of equipment, sterilisation, boiling water, ingredients like sugar, yeast, finings, stabilisers, woodchips, bungs, siphons, hydrometers. Even when its done right the wine often tastes cheap. On the plus side, it's still cheaper than buying a commercial table wines of a similar quality. And occasionally it does produce drinkable wines,

I'm extremely skeptical of a device that claims to do everything. I could see how a device with a programmable timer with some sensors built in could be produced to optimize fermentation. Maybe the device could even measure the strength of the wine and do some other useful things like filter all the sludge out of the bottom. But I don't see how it could do the whole process, or even enough of it to justify its expense. It would probably be a pain to clean too. And as is the way with these things it would probably take proprietary cartridges of both grape concentrates but also filters and so on. So I'll believe it when I see it rather than a kickstarter for an "invention" which probably doesn't even exist beyond a mockup.
 
2014-03-03 04:30:02 PM

BATMANATEE: It costs $500 and it takes 3 days to make 1 bottle of wine. I think the old fashioned bucket, carboy, and time method makes more sense for most people.


Once you've made 28 bottles of wine, you've broken even.

Since it takes 3 days, it'll take 18 months to pay for itself. But on the upside, you get to drink wine every 3 days.
 
2014-03-03 04:31:49 PM

Egoy3k: /self professed 'expert' telling me I'm wrong in 3...2....


I'm not a wine expert.  Your general statement about marketing is largely correct.

However. the idea that trained sommeliers "can't tell the difference" between good wine and bad is silly anti-snob nonsense.
 
2014-03-03 04:38:36 PM

burdock: "The Miracle Machine essentially works like a Soda Stream by turning water, grape concentrate and yeast into wine via a mobile phone app supported by iOS and Android. "

This has to be the biggest load of BS kickstarter scam campaign I think I've read about all year.


Stopped reading there because I burst out laughing
 
2014-03-03 04:44:55 PM
FTFA: "At the same time, an ultrasonic transducer directly underneath the chamber resonates and speeds up the flavour development of the wine. "

Great scott!
 
2014-03-03 04:54:33 PM

trappedspirit: SpectroBoy: abhorrent1: So they invented a wine making kit? Surprised no one ever thought of that before.

Sounds like they have invented the automated software-controlled wine making kit.

Unless it measures sugar content and checks for preservatives I predict many angry customers.

So you're saying there's going to be a lot of whining going on?


www.iltlaugh.com
 
2014-03-03 04:56:44 PM

Invisible Pedestrian: FTFA: "At the same time, an ultrasonic transducer directly underneath the chamber resonates and speeds up the flavour development of the wine. "

Great scott!


This sonic transducer, it is I suppose some kind of audio-vibratory-physio-molecular transport device?
 
2014-03-03 05:00:33 PM
Yeast sugar and grapes. Why complicate things?
 
2014-03-03 05:03:49 PM
I'd like something in a nice Thursday, preferably a merlot.
 
2014-03-03 05:50:58 PM

cgraves67: It doesn't matter if it works perfectly, some snobs will still claim to be able to tell the difference.


Exactly. Wine, and other spirits, have never been about the taste or composition but rather the romance of using old fermenting techniques to make something that can get your lady drunk. Vodka is a prime example. Ideally it's only ethanol and water but there are snobs out there who claim they can taste the 1 ppm impurity difference between triple distilled and whatever crap they've been told about some really expensive stuff.
 
2014-03-03 06:07:03 PM
Jesus did not turn water into wine.  Jesus was a telepathic could stimulate certain portions of the brain to alter what the host perceived.  'Its all in the mind' is not an adage, it is a truth.  Like in the Matrix - the trick to bending the spoon is first realizing the spoon is not real. (and though Cypher KNEW the steak was not real, his senses still told him it was a steak)

If I had been Neo, it would have been wall-to-wall poontang available to me everyday coupled with steak and the finest tequilas!

Back to the subject - in the end, the guests PERCEIVED they were drinking wine and thus the story.
 
2014-03-03 06:11:18 PM

abhorrent1: So they invented a wine making kit? Surprised no one ever thought of that before.


If it works like he claims it does then he's done more than make a wine kit. He's made a fool proof way of making decent tasting wine in a few days instead of months.
Now me, I couldn't give a shiat. But yupsters are always looking for ways they can appear to have interesting and trendy skills without having to actually master that skill. He'll make a fortune.
 
2014-03-03 06:12:44 PM

K3rmy: Jesus did not turn water into wine.  Jesus was a telepathic could stimulate certain portions of the brain to alter what the host perceived.  'Its all in the mind' is not an adage, it is a truth.  Like in the Matrix - the trick to bending the spoon is first realizing the spoon is not real. (and though Cypher KNEW the steak was not real, his senses still told him it was a steak)

If I had been Neo, it would have been wall-to-wall poontang available to me everyday coupled with steak and the finest tequilas!

Back to the subject - in the end, the guests PERCEIVED they were drinking wine and thus the story.


I'll go with an even easier explanation. The story was simply made up many years after his death and then written down in what would later become the bible.
 
2014-03-03 06:17:35 PM

Russ1642: K3rmy: Jesus did not turn water into wine.  Jesus was a telepathic could stimulate certain portions of the brain to alter what the host perceived.  'Its all in the mind' is not an adage, it is a truth.  Like in the Matrix - the trick to bending the spoon is first realizing the spoon is not real. (and though Cypher KNEW the steak was not real, his senses still told him it was a steak)

If I had been Neo, it would have been wall-to-wall poontang available to me everyday coupled with steak and the finest tequilas!

Back to the subject - in the end, the guests PERCEIVED they were drinking wine and thus the story.

I'll go with an even easier explanation. The story was simply made up many years after his death and then written down in what would later become the bible.


img.fark.net
 
2014-03-03 06:35:32 PM
I know of a simple machine that'll turn wine into water in 45 minutes: (insert target ethnicity here)
 
2014-03-03 06:46:47 PM
Resurrection?
 
2014-03-03 06:56:04 PM

Russ1642: 1 ppm impurity difference


LOL.  You're off by several orders of magnitude.

Russ1642: Ideally it's only ethanol and water


You have absolutely no idea what you're talking about.  I don't know where you would have gotten this ridiculous notion.
 
2014-03-03 07:00:32 PM

Russ1642: cgraves67: It doesn't matter if it works perfectly, some snobs will still claim to be able to tell the difference.

Exactly. Wine, and other spirits, have never been about the taste or composition but rather the romance of using old fermenting techniques to make something that can get your lady drunk. Vodka is a prime example. Ideally it's only ethanol and water but there are snobs out there who claim they can taste the 1 ppm impurity difference between triple distilled and whatever crap they've been told about some really expensive stuff.


Dafuq does vodka have to do with wine? The only differential between vodkas is which ones will also scour the porcelain off your sink and leave you wanting to die the next day, which is why 90% of vodka in stores is now artificially flavored crap. Scotch or beer are closer comparisons, and we all know how crazy enthusiasts get about those.

Wines actually have distinct flavors and textures, so infused wines are a small minority. Most are a bit of an acquired taste, but a little experience and appreciation goes a long way. Even people who don't like wine can taste the difference between sweet juicy ones and dry earthy ones. Buying random $40 bottles in a market is a shiatty way to acquire taste, no matter how high they're rated; wine-tasting trips or gatherings are quicker, boozier, and usually cheaper, even if you run into a higher than average concentration of irritating middle-aged yuppies. Everyone I know who likes wine still has very different tastes in what they like, someone else's $100 bottle might not be worth $5 to them.
 
2014-03-03 10:09:48 PM

Russ1642: K3rmy: Jesus did not turn water into wine.  Jesus was a telepathic could stimulate certain portions of the brain to alter what the host perceived.  'Its all in the mind' is not an adage, it is a truth.  Like in the Matrix - the trick to bending the spoon is first realizing the spoon is not real. (and though Cypher KNEW the steak was not real, his senses still told him it was a steak)

If I had been Neo, it would have been wall-to-wall poontang available to me everyday coupled with steak and the finest tequilas!

Back to the subject - in the end, the guests PERCEIVED they were drinking wine and thus the story.

I'll go with an even easier explanation. The story was simply made up many years after his death and then written down in what would later become the bible.


Even easier:  The story was simply copied from other earlier fictional stories, and wasn't based on a real person at all.
 
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