If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.

(CBC)   Meet Server Froze. He has a drivers license, credit cards, loans, a better credit rating than you do, and he doesn't exist   (cbc.ca) divider line 65
    More: Scary, Server Froze, credit cards, credit rating, identity theft, credit bureaus, John Russo, loans  
•       •       •

11598 clicks; posted to Main » on 03 Mar 2014 at 12:45 PM (28 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



65 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2014-03-03 12:11:38 PM
i132.photobucket.com
 
2014-03-03 12:21:40 PM

vernonFL: [i132.photobucket.com image 800x483]


Oh hey buddy looks like your server froze, eh?
 
2014-03-03 12:45:32 PM
...and his good friend Overflow, Stack.
 
2014-03-03 12:47:40 PM
unrealitymag.bcmediagroup.netdna-cdn.com
 
2014-03-03 12:48:17 PM
I have a Shawshank joke at the tip of my brain and damned if I can't extract it.
 
2014-03-03 12:50:57 PM
So when the police go looking for the person who ran the business, or the company, "there's nothing that exists. Again, we use the analogy of a puff of smoke."

manilovefilms.com
The thread was done in one, but this was too perfect a  Usual Suspects reference not to acknowledge.
 
2014-03-03 12:51:22 PM
Does his name rhyme with Kiaser Soze's?
 
2014-03-03 12:51:42 PM

buckeyebrain: I have a Shawshank joke at the tip of my brain and damned if I can't extract it.


The joke is a ghost, a phantom, second cousin to Harvey the Rabbit.
 
2014-03-03 12:52:12 PM
Well, you could get... creative.

imgs.xkcd.com
 
2014-03-03 12:52:38 PM
Done in 1 and 6.

nofilmschool.com
 
d23 [TotalFark]
2014-03-03 12:52:52 PM
i.cbc.ca

Where will you be when your laxative starts working?
 
2014-03-03 12:53:30 PM

vernonFL: [i132.photobucket.com image 800x483]


semiotix: So when the police go looking for the person who ran the business, or the company, "there's nothing that exists. Again, we use the analogy of a puff of smoke."

[manilovefilms.com image 827x539]
The thread was done in one, but this was too perfect a  Usual Suspects reference not to acknowledge.


Holy crap...I came here to make that exact same reference, I didn't expect to get beat to it TWICE!

/shakes tiny fist
 
2014-03-03 12:53:48 PM

semiotix: The thread was done in one,


I disagree, the Shawshank reference was more on point, given that there's specific dialog saying that Randall Stevens has a drivers license, birth certificate, etc.

Nogrhi: ...and his good friend Overflow, Stack.


And his nephew, Bobby Tables.
 
2014-03-03 12:54:13 PM
i1.ytimg.com
 
2014-03-03 12:55:16 PM
s3.amazonaws.com
This guy creating Canadian IDs now?
 
2014-03-03 12:56:02 PM
Randall Stevens.   The "silent" silent partner. He's the guilty one, your Honor. The man with the bank accounts. It's where the filtering process starts. They trace anything, it's gonna lead to him. He's a phantom, an apparition. Second cousin to Harvey the Rabbit. I conjuredhim out of thin air. He doesn't exist...except on paper.
 
2014-03-03 12:56:43 PM
Stealing real identities is bad enough, but what kind of evil horrible bastard steals the identity of a fake person!  It's an absolute outrage that they'd steal the identity of someone who can't fight back.
 
d23 [TotalFark]
2014-03-03 01:00:36 PM
I'm still wondering why keeping private databases about "credit worthyness" is even legal.

I know it is marginally better now that I have a right to see the information, but still...
 
2014-03-03 01:01:38 PM
That is what happened to Mati Te'o.  It was not cat fishing it was synthetic identity theft.  Now she can show she is real because they wrote news paper articles about her!
 
2014-03-03 01:05:37 PM
F'ing great

philly.barstoolsports.com
 
2014-03-03 01:07:36 PM
That's why, even though I'm single, I have had a kid every year since I was 17. You never know when a couple dozen clean identities will come in handy.
 
2014-03-03 01:16:11 PM
Yep, just like Randall Stephens.
 
2014-03-03 01:19:16 PM

nmrsnr: buckeyebrain: I have a Shawshank joke at the tip of my brain and damned if I can't extract it.

The joke is a ghost, a phantom, second cousin to Harvey the Rabbit.


If anyone ever tries to trace any of those jokes, they're gonna end up chasing a figment of his imagination.
 
2014-03-03 01:20:44 PM
"Froze"? Like, in Carbone-ite?
demonsresume.files.wordpress.com
 
2014-03-03 01:24:52 PM

Nana's Vibrator: He's a phantom, an apparition. Second cousin to Harvey the Rabbit.


Crap, I got the line wrong.
 
2014-03-03 01:40:56 PM
I work in IT and it's really annoying when a server sends you a message saying it's froze. "Error: Server froze" is the WORST.
 
2014-03-03 01:43:45 PM

buckeyebrain: I have a Shawshank joke at the tip of my brain and damned if I can't extract it.


I'll give it a try:

Lukeonia1: Randall Stevens unavailable for comment?
 
2014-03-03 01:44:18 PM
s7.postimg.org

"When I was 17
I drank some very good beer
I drank some very good beer
I purchased with a fake I.D.
My name was Brian Mcgee.
I stayed up listening to Queen.
When I was 17 "
 
2014-03-03 01:47:04 PM
Identities should be like email addresses: have one you use pretty casually, one or two that are for private business, and another that is totally secret and no one but you knows about.
 
2014-03-03 01:47:28 PM
Is Mr. Froze related to Maube Later?
 
2014-03-03 01:51:45 PM
surbrook.devermore.net
 
2014-03-03 01:54:30 PM
I liked this article so much, I sent it to my brother, buffering, buffering.
 
2014-03-03 01:54:46 PM
Oh, he exists, that's just the name of his secret identity:

static.comicvine.com
 
2014-03-03 01:56:19 PM
Oh dammit.
 
2014-03-03 01:58:33 PM
What Server Froze may look like
i.imgur.com

Oh, and Fark?  I am disappoint.
 
2014-03-03 02:00:47 PM

obenchainr: Identities should be like email addresses: have one you use pretty casually, one or two that are for private business, and another that is totally secret and no one but you knows about.


I have a secret Twitter linked to a secret e-mail with 0 followers that I use to tweet things I wish I could say to people in my life out loud. Purely for myself. It's theraputic.
 
2014-03-03 02:01:07 PM
So, instead of ruining the lives of people, thieves are solely defrauding credit card providers* instead?
25.media.tumblr.com
*yes, yes, I know it costs us all** money
**except Capital One
. And MBNA. And Chase. And...
 
2014-03-03 02:06:40 PM

FarkinNortherner: So, instead of ruining the lives of people, thieves are solely defrauding credit card providers* instead?

*yes, yes, I know it costs us all** money
**except Capital One. And MBNA. And Chase. And...


Do you want credit card providers to start requiring people submit to DNA or fingerprinting or something for new applicants? Because the only way to combat this problem involves more intrusion into the privacy of all of their customers. Or rather, it involves requiring potential customers to submit to much more intrusive investigation before being issued credit.
This isn't a good thing. People being dishonest and defrauding others usually isn't.
 
2014-03-03 02:12:23 PM
"Synthetic Identity"? I thought those were called "corporations"...
 
2014-03-03 02:17:11 PM

Epicanis: "Synthetic Identity"? I thought those were called "corporations"...


I thought they were called aliases or AKAs. People like to invent words that already exist, I reckon.
 
2014-03-03 02:20:01 PM

Nogrhi: ...and his good friend Overflow, Stack.


Now there's a coincidence - my friend Access Denied was recently telling me about about how he and his other buddy, Password Required, got in a fight over some girl named Stack Overflow not more than two days ago.
 
2014-03-03 02:22:37 PM
31.media.tumblr.com
 
2014-03-03 02:22:41 PM

Ctrl-Alt-Del: Nogrhi: ...and his good friend Overflow, Stack.

Now there's a coincidence - my friend Access Denied was recently telling me about about how he and his other buddy, Password Required, got in a fight over some girl named Stack Overflow not more than two days ago.


Interesting thought... 'stack overflow' does sound like a large boobs / small bra scenario.
 
2014-03-03 02:24:09 PM

Epicanis: "Synthetic Identity"? I thought those were called "corporations"...


Raises the question what exactly you could do with a synthetic ID that you couldn't do with a shell corporation?  Both can borrow money or make purchases on credit, then skip out on the payments.  In the case of a properly constructed shell, your true identity and personal liability is protected by law.
 
2014-03-03 02:24:14 PM
philly.barstoolsports.com

Can't believe you farkers aren't versed in the classics.
 
2014-03-03 02:31:00 PM

haemaker: Can't believe you farkers aren't versed in the classics.


Or we are just sick of wading through the same first fifty posts of tired old tropes every goddamn time a story sort of sounds like that one movie most people have seen, and idiots act like you'll win a blowjob and the Ultimate Feast from Red Lobster if you're the quickest at GIS and copy/paste
 
2014-03-03 02:38:01 PM

ransack.: haemaker: Can't believe you farkers aren't versed in the classics.

Or we are just sick of wading through the same first fifty posts of tired old tropes every goddamn time a story sort of sounds like that one movie most people have seen, and idiots act like you'll win a blowjob and the Ultimate Feast from Red Lobster if you're the quickest at GIS and copy/paste


Plus that picture was already posted, way towards the top.
 
2014-03-03 02:42:10 PM

Nogrhi: Ctrl-Alt-Del: Nogrhi: ...and his good friend Overflow, Stack.

Now there's a coincidence - my friend Access Denied was recently telling me about about how he and his other buddy, Password Required, got in a fight over some girl named Stack Overflow not more than two days ago.

Interesting thought... 'stack overflow' does sound like a large boobs / small bra scenario.


(boom boom boom)

Coming to the stage now, let's give it up for Staxxx Overflow!
 
2014-03-03 02:42:54 PM
Fark refused to let me submit this with a better headline (because I was too late due to meatworld f*ckery).

Bonus: It referenced The Usual Suspects. Glad to see I wasn't the only one that made the connection. There's hope for you yet, Farkistan.
 
2014-03-03 02:48:39 PM

Ctrl-Alt-Del: Nogrhi: ...and his good friend Overflow, Stack.

Now there's a coincidence - my friend Access Denied was recently telling me about about how he and his other buddy, Password Required, got in a fight over some girl named Stack Overflow not more than two days ago.


I have a hell of a time ordering anything online.  Just because my name is Denial O'Service Attack...
 
2014-03-03 03:04:59 PM

ransack.: haemaker: Can't believe you farkers aren't versed in the classics.

Or we are just sick of wading through the same first fifty posts of tired old tropes every goddamn time a story sort of sounds like that one movie most people have seen, and idiots act like you'll win a blowjob and the Ultimate Feast from Red Lobster if you're the quickest at GIS and copy/paste


I agree but WelcomeToFark.jpg
 
2014-03-03 03:14:59 PM

here to help: because I was too late due to meatworld f*ckery


This is now the name of my Autobiography.
 
2014-03-03 03:22:48 PM

CygnusDarius: Well, you could get... creative.

[imgs.xkcd.com image 666x205]


LOL nice one man, SQL injection attack via student enrollment.
 
2014-03-03 03:27:51 PM

haemaker: [philly.barstoolsports.com image 317x232]

Can't believe you farkers aren't versed in the classics.


Captain Tuttle frowns on your shenanigans.

/Now get off my lawn
 
2014-03-03 03:31:12 PM

Nogrhi: ...and his good friend Overflow, Stack.


And their cousin Exchange, Expert S.
 
2014-03-03 03:31:17 PM

haemaker: [31.media.tumblr.com image 768x576]


I am Really, REALLY disappointed in how long this took. +1 Internets to you, but I really was beginning to think I was the only one who thought of it.
 
2014-03-03 03:36:48 PM
Between Shawshank Redemtion and The Usual Suspects references, fark delivered on this thread todyay
 
2014-03-03 03:37:10 PM

Glenford: haemaker: [philly.barstoolsports.com image 317x232]

Can't believe you farkers aren't versed in the classics.

Captain Tuttle frowns on your shenanigans.

/Now get off my lawn


M et Mme Jondrette are willing to sell lawn standing tickets for 50 sou...err francs a piece.
 
2014-03-03 03:46:38 PM
"There's literally no limit to the types of things, the amounts of things, the amount of damage that can be caused to each sector that you can possibly think of -  banks, government bureaucracies, police agencies, insurance, car lenders. Everybody."

It's not hard to tell where his loyalties lie, eh?
 
2014-03-03 04:17:16 PM
aaaaand a Twitter account apparently
 
2014-03-03 04:22:12 PM

ransack.: haemaker: Can't believe you farkers aren't versed in the classics.

Or we are just sick of wading through the same first fifty posts of tired old tropes every goddamn time a story sort of sounds like that one movie most people have seen, and idiots act like you'll win a blowjob and the Ultimate Feast from Red Lobster if you're the quickest at GIS and copy/paste


I was told the prize was bread sticks and salad at Olive Garden but cheese biscuits will make a decent substitute.
 
2014-03-03 04:25:55 PM

d23: I'm still wondering why keeping private databases about "credit worthyness" is even legal.

I know it is marginally better now that I have a right to see the information, but still...


Oh, I'm ok with the databases.  My problem is that there seems to be no liability for false information in those databases.  There's never anything wrong in there that helps you.
 
2014-03-03 05:13:55 PM
He has "he doesn't exist".

It's acceptable, and common, to omit conjunctions in headlines. That's handy for people who have somehow gotten this far in life without knowing how to use conjunctions. I'm looking at you, subby.
 
2014-03-03 06:03:48 PM
Normally I sit back and say "meh, if those morons had put twice the brains and half the effort into a legal scheme..."

But this one. Wow. Now that the cat is out of the bag, you know they'll have all sorts of ways to catch the next son-of-a-biatch that tries it. But for firsties...

[Golf Clap]
 
2014-03-04 10:19:08 AM

Babwa Wawa: What Server Froze may look like
[i.imgur.com image 640x480]

Oh, and Fark?  I am disappoint.


Darn, you posted it before I could.  Oh well, you get an upvote anyway.
 
Displayed 65 of 65 comments

View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


This thread is closed to new comments.

Continue Farking
Submit a Link »






Report