browntimmy: I don't know if I have just have messier poops or if our whole damn toilet/plumbing system was made for people who don't wipe properly.
K3rmy: That is why I wipe my ass with dead goldfish. Occasionally a nutritionist if the next door neighbor was no looking when backing out of her driveway again.
RoyBatty: I wonder what the age distribution is on these adult flushable wipes thing. I find them much more bizarre than bidets.They seem far too closely linked to either being a baby or being senile.It's a millennial thing isn't it? Like millennials aren't going to want to work unless the boss supplies flushable wipes for them and USB chargers?
shtychkn: gfid: How appropriate that I've got one farker in this thread farkied as :"asshole".I've never used or even seen "flushable wipes". Toilet paper is good enough for me.This is the one thing that makes me have 2nd thoughts about time travel. They don't really talk about it much in history class, but what the fark did the ancient Romans or the Greeks or Egyptians use to wipe? Imagine your first crap if you traveled back to Rome about 2000 years ago. After getting over the whole language barrier you're like, um where's the Charmin? I'm sure Caesar was just fine with using his hands or the tongues of slaves or whatever he used to get clean. He probably thought it was normal and it probably was normal back then.What about George Washington? Do you think he had a bidet? I think not. He didn't even have a farking Sears catalog. Kids today will probably look back in 50 years and think "Gross, Grandpa didn't even use flushable wipes."You're damn right I don't, and I like it. While my ass may not be clean enough to eat off of, I manage to wipe the shiat off and then cover it up with underwear and pants and I wash my hands after pooping.I hope everyone has a good day thinking about their co-workers shiatty assholes.Romans used a wet rag on a stick
Badgers: [static.neatorama.com image 480x510]/Pussies.
Enemabag Jones: Fissile,Just forget all that and use the bidet the way Southrons do.Don't forget it is the perfect size for the cat.[content.simonscat.com image 480x640]
Cyno01: RoyBatty: I wonder what the age distribution is on these adult flushable wipes thing. I find them much more bizarre than bidets.They seem far too closely linked to either being a baby or being senile.It's a millennial thing isn't it? Like millennials aren't going to want to work unless the boss supplies flushable wipes for them and USB chargers?Well, i obviously dont understand the nuances of a bidet, not that id find one in an apartment anywhere around here, the wipes are a middle ground between dry paper and taking a shower after every time, which is impractical... paper like usual, one wipe at the end, never felt fresher.I mean, if you had shiat on any other part of your body would you accept it as clean after just wiping it with dry paper? Seriously, no swamp ass, no skid marks, none of this situation...[i.imgur.com image 626x697]
susansto-helit: tripleseven: RoyBatty: Fissile: In civilized countries, they have this thing you see on the left. No "flushable" wipes needed.I understand how integrated bidet and toilets work, I guess.What is the protocol for using the thing on the left?Crap, stand up, and then poop laden, waddle stage right, adjust the water temp and fountain height? (Man how long that must take on cold winter night!)Pretty much.The thing about bidets that confound people who have never used them is that they don't seem to understand you don't just blast the stream into your ass. It just there to wet then rinse your ass. You're supposed to wash your ass, with your hands, and soap.Do they also come with a nail brush so you can clean the crap out from under them when you're done?
WhoopAssWayne: UNC_Samurai: installing a goddamn bidet.The Japanese ones that analyse your leavings and offer diet advice? All in a HAL like voice?
Fissile: In civilized countries, they have this thing you see on the left. No "flushable" wipes needed.
Fissile: In civilized countries, they have this thing you see on the left. No "flushable" wipes needed.[www.timticks.com image 850x614]
optikeye: Keep a small spray bottle on the back of your toilet with 1/2 witch hazel, 1/2 water. A few drops of baby shampoo, and a few drops of baby oil. Shake and spray on your toilet paper as used or needed.
Links are submitted by members of the Fark community.
When community members submit a link, they also write a custom headline for the story.
Other Farkers comment on the links. This is the number of comments. Click here to read them.
You need to create an account to submit links or post comments.
Click here to submit a link.
Also on Fark
Submit a Link »
Copyright © 1999 - 2017 Fark, Inc | Last updated: Aug 19 2017 22:23:58
Runtime: 0.318 sec (318 ms)