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(NYPost)   It turns out that flushable wipes are not flushable after all. Well, shiat   (nypost.com) divider line 43
    More: Sick, 72nd Street, Kimberly-Clark, brooklyn federal court, clogged drain  
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14659 clicks; posted to Main » on 02 Mar 2014 at 11:43 PM (37 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



Voting Results (Smartest)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

2014-03-02 11:50:45 PM  
9 votes:
When Mrs. Samurai and I remodel our bathroom, we are installing a goddamn bidet. We as a species need to acknowledge that good plumbing and superior bum-cleansing technology is a necessity in the 21st century.
2014-03-02 06:58:20 PM  
6 votes:
Keep a small spray bottle on the back of your toilet with 1/2 witch hazel, 1/2 water. A few drops of baby shampoo, and a few drops of baby oil. Shake and spray on your toilet paper as used or needed.
2014-03-03 12:24:29 AM  
5 votes:
I'm willing to bet multiple wipes were used by this guy.  My rule, wipe a couple times with the regular stuff, finish off with a flushable wet wipe.  If you're still in need of wiping after that, jump in the shower...and you seriously need to change your diet
2014-03-03 12:15:20 AM  
4 votes:
Just wet some toilet paper. You don't need fancy wipes four this, people.
2014-03-03 12:14:11 AM  
4 votes:
What the hell is wrong with toilet paper, you prissy little nancies?
2014-03-02 10:45:54 PM  
4 votes:
Well, duh.  If Charmin will clog your pipes, it's pretty obvious those cloth-like wipes will, too.
2014-03-02 08:17:41 PM  
4 votes:
The damn things dry out too quickly anyway.  The first few work great, then you're left with a stack of construction paper.
2014-03-03 12:48:04 AM  
3 votes:

RoyBatty: I wonder what the age distribution is on these adult flushable wipes thing. I find them much more bizarre than bidets.

They seem far too closely linked to either being a baby or being senile.

It's a millennial thing isn't it? Like millennials aren't going to want to work unless the boss supplies flushable wipes for them and USB chargers?


Well, i obviously dont understand the nuances of a bidet, not that id find one in an apartment anywhere around here, the wipes are a middle ground between dry paper and taking a shower after every time, which is impractical... paper like usual, one wipe at the end, never felt fresher.


I mean, if you had shiat on any other part of your body would you accept it as clean after just wiping it with dry paper? Seriously, no swamp ass, no skid marks, none of this situation...


i.imgur.com
2014-03-03 12:25:22 AM  
3 votes:

Fissile: In civilized countries, they have this thing you see on the left.  No "flushable" wipes needed.


i.imgur.com

I understand how integrated bidet and toilets work, I guess.

What is the protocol for using the thing on the left?

Crap, stand up, and then poop laden, waddle stage right, adjust the water temp and fountain height? (Man how long that must take on cold winter night!)
2014-03-03 12:06:48 AM  
3 votes:

Fissile: In civilized countries, they have this thing you see on the left.  No "flushable" wipes needed.

[www.timticks.com image 850x614]


Spraying water up your asshole doesn't sound civilized to me.  And you still need to dry off.
2014-03-03 09:36:38 AM  
2 votes:
Anyways besides my bidet information I have this to add about tfa.

Wipes are not flushable. Yes they may go down the toilet...however they do not degrade. That's the real issue with them. Since they enter the pipe and do not degrade, they will block a pipe with any minor issue such as a tight bend, a bad angle, an existing blockage etc. These issue are not readily identifiable To the use because as far as they are concerned the flush was fine.

Terrible /CSB time.

We live in an apt. Our bathroom waste line was not angled correctly (waste lines need to be angled on a slight downward grade so gravity does its job). Thus waste line' also served about 5 other apts. There were no issues though...until people started using wipes. The waste line clogged constantly. When it clogged there was no indication there was something amiss until you flushed the toilet and it overflowed all over the floor. That was just the start...after the toilet stopped up all the waste from the other apts would start backing up, and since we were last in the waste line, the waste backed up into our bathroom first. If youve never known the horror of having other people shiat and waste water backing up into your farkING BATHTUB consider yourself lucky.
We lived in basic terror for a year, never knowing which flush was going to make the toilet overflow or the bathtub turn into a toilet. We finally convinced the coop tobreolace the line. It was easier than telling people not to use wipes. They wouldn't have listened anyways because it wasn't their bathroom turning into a shiat show.

Thankfully we haven't had a backup in the two months since they did the work. However after a year of being terrified if flushing the bowl there is some residual fear each time I do.
2014-03-03 12:29:31 AM  
2 votes:

RoyBatty: Fissile: In civilized countries, they have this thing you see on the left.  No "flushable" wipes needed.



I understand how integrated bidet and toilets work, I guess.

What is the protocol for using the thing on the left?

Crap, stand up, and then poop laden, waddle stage right, adjust the water temp and fountain height? (Man how long that must take on cold winter night!)


Pretty much.

The thing about bidets that confound people who have never used them is that they don't seem to understand you don't just blast the stream into your ass. It just there to wet then rinse your ass. You're supposed to wash your ass, with your hands, and soap.
2014-03-03 12:24:52 AM  
2 votes:
He spent a whole $600 on a plumber and decided to spend 20 times that to hire a lawyer to sue? Farker got off easy.

Seriously, dry toilet paper is much younger than America itself, but we need pre-moistened toilet paper now? People can't wet it themselves anymore?

http://nobodys-perfect.com/vtpm/exhibithall/informational/tphistory. ht ml

There is a sink within reach of my toilet, if I need to moisten it, I do it myself. If you're paying a premium for someone else to sell you pre-moistened hoity toity asswipe, you probably a.) didn't read the fine print which absolves them of plumbing issues they could not foresee, b.) have way too more dollars than sense, c.) are too lazy to wet your own damn toilet paper or take a shower if that's what's called for after your messy deuce.
2014-03-03 12:10:26 AM  
2 votes:
I don't understand what the big allure of wet wipes is. After you use a couple you then have to dry. Then you're right back to regular toilet paper.

Why not skip the middle man and go right to the tp?
2014-03-03 12:04:43 AM  
2 votes:
In civilized countries, they have this thing you see on the left.  No "flushable" wipes needed.

www.timticks.com
2014-03-03 12:00:07 AM  
2 votes:
Fix your ancient infrastructure.
2014-03-02 08:35:17 PM  
2 votes:
I'll keep flushing random things to see what we can use as a replacement.
2014-03-03 12:14:50 PM  
1 votes:

That Guy What Stole the Bacon: gfid: How appropriate that I've got one farker in this thread farkied as :"asshole".

I've never used or even seen "flushable wipes".  Toilet paper is good enough for me.

This is the one thing that makes me have 2nd thoughts about time travel.  They don't really talk about it much in history class, but what the fark did the ancient Romans or the Greeks or Egyptians use to wipe?  Imagine your first crap if you traveled back to Rome about 2000 years ago.  After getting over the whole language barrier you're like, um where's the Charmin?  I'm sure Caesar was just fine with using his hands or the tongues of slaves or whatever he used to get clean.  He probably thought it was normal and it probably was normal back then.

What about George Washington?  Do you think he had a bidet?  I think not.  He didn't even have a farking Sears catalog.  Kids today will probably look back in 50 years and think "Gross, Grandpa didn't even use flushable wipes."

You're damn right I don't, and I like it.  While my ass may not be clean enough to eat off of, I manage to wipe the shiat off and then cover it up with underwear and pants and I wash my hands after pooping.

I hope everyone has a good day thinking about their co-workers shiatty assholes.

Well yeah, that's how the custom of right-handed handshakes came about; wipe with the left, do everything else with the right.


This.  In fact, in a goodly portion of the world it is STILL considered unspeakably rude to do anything with the left hand like shaking hands, eating, etc. because the manner of cleaning up after dropping a loaf is still "take bucket of water or sand, pour water or sand down arse with right hand whilst vigorously scrubbing with the left, air dry".  (The "lota" in the infamous "belly is swollen with jackfruit" letter?  Basically the Naan-Bread-Indian proto-bidet, aka "jar of water you use to wash your ass with".)

As for Rome and Greece, it's known that they had a sponge on a stick to do the deed of cleaning up afterwards; by the time of George Washington the use of large leaves, corncobs, and the occasional page from the local paper or Poor Richard's Almanack was in play.

Before that...well, straw, or large leaves, or pretty much the Neolithic version of the Three Sea Shells was in play (i.e. you use a seashell to scrape the nastier bits off).  There's actually Neandertal latrines that have been found in caves with evidence Og was using the Three Sea Shells some time before Sly Stallone, in fact...

(I'll also note, as an aside, that toilet paper was not really a thing until some time after indoor plumbing became a thing.)
2014-03-03 09:35:40 AM  
1 votes:

shtychkn: gfid: How appropriate that I've got one farker in this thread farkied as :"asshole".

I've never used or even seen "flushable wipes".  Toilet paper is good enough for me.

This is the one thing that makes me have 2nd thoughts about time travel.  They don't really talk about it much in history class, but what the fark did the ancient Romans or the Greeks or Egyptians use to wipe?  Imagine your first crap if you traveled back to Rome about 2000 years ago.  After getting over the whole language barrier you're like, um where's the Charmin?  I'm sure Caesar was just fine with using his hands or the tongues of slaves or whatever he used to get clean.  He probably thought it was normal and it probably was normal back then.

What about George Washington?  Do you think he had a bidet?  I think not.  He didn't even have a farking Sears catalog.  Kids today will probably look back in 50 years and think "Gross, Grandpa didn't even use flushable wipes."

You're damn right I don't, and I like it.  While my ass may not be clean enough to eat off of, I manage to wipe the shiat off and then cover it up with underwear and pants and I wash my hands after pooping.

I hope everyone has a good day thinking about their co-workers shiatty assholes.

Romans used a wet rag on a stick


Actually, it was a sponge on a stick.  The Romans were actually quite advanced with water and sewage systems that existed in their larger cities.  Aqueducts brought in large amounts  of clean fresh water and latrines with water running through them continuously washed away the poop.
2014-03-03 07:56:17 AM  
1 votes:
Many's the septic guy who's put his kids through college because of flushable wipes.

Or are you all so uncivilized that you have to live somewhere with poop rivers under your roads?
2014-03-03 04:04:54 AM  
1 votes:

ImpendingCynic: Am I the only one confused by the discussion that has resulted here? I assumed that "flushable wipes" referred to the wipes you can use to do a quick cleaning of your bathroom (sink, toilet, etc.), then flush instead of throwing in the garbage. Do people actually use wet wipes post... uh .. business?


In short?  Yes.
Longer?  It's handy when you're in gastronomical distress and things are rather messier than normal, or you've been stuck on the pot for so long that chaffing is a real concern.

For cleaning your bathroom - they're generally not tough enough for a real good scrubbing and I don't mind tossing those towels in the trash.

On that note, I wonder if the flushable wipes are actually following the trend of popularity for non-flushable wipes, and that people are flushing the non-flush types in increasing numbers.  I wouldn't be surprised if they are.
2014-03-03 03:44:56 AM  
1 votes:

filter: Lsherm: filter: Lsherm: Fissile: In civilized countries, they have this thing you see on the left.  No "flushable" wipes needed.

[www.timticks.com image 850x614]

Spraying water up your asshole doesn't sound civilized to me.  And you still need to dry off.

And smearing your shiat around your ass with a wood-based product does?

What is this smearing?  You need to sue your parents for not teaching you how to wipe properly.

If you aint smearing shiat around, you are done wiping.  Seriously, you are moving a shiat coated piece of paper on your ass, with the objective of getting as much shiat on the paper as possible, leaving the least amount of shiat on your ass as possible.  It is called 'wiping' your ass-- not dabbing your bung hole.  It is simple physics- shiat covered paper contacts skin, smearing shiat around.


You're doing it wrong. Stop using the same piece.
2014-03-03 03:28:04 AM  
1 votes:
For most of my years growing up in the mid-1960's-late 1970's, we put our regular toilet paper in a garbage can, due to the fact we had a septic tank, instead of being on the sewer line. We paid a truck to come out every so often to empty the tank. Once the sewer line got to where we lived, we started flushing the paper. Never used those wipes, so really can't comment on them.

Back in those days, the garbage that was burnable, we burned in a metal can in the back yard. We drove the rest out to the parish dump.

These days, same house, Waste Management is a lot handier!
2014-03-03 02:40:50 AM  
1 votes:
Anecdotally, my plumbing was clogged by "flushable" wipes a couple months ago. Odd, since I don't use them. Could my  au pair be the culprit?  I don't have an au pair. It's a mystery.
2014-03-03 01:00:29 AM  
1 votes:

Cyno01: RoyBatty: I wonder what the age distribution is on these adult flushable wipes thing. I find them much more bizarre than bidets.

They seem far too closely linked to either being a baby or being senile.

It's a millennial thing isn't it? Like millennials aren't going to want to work unless the boss supplies flushable wipes for them and USB chargers?

Well, i obviously dont understand the nuances of a bidet, not that id find one in an apartment anywhere around here, the wipes are a middle ground between dry paper and taking a shower after every time, which is impractical... paper like usual, one wipe at the end, never felt fresher.


I mean, if you had shiat on any other part of your body would you accept it as clean after just wiping it with dry paper? Seriously, no swamp ass, no skid marks, none of this situation...


[i.imgur.com image 626x697]


Well admittedly that sometimes happens. When it does, keep wiping, you'll know you're done when the end of marker, red ink starts bleeding through.

(Also, roll, don't wad.)
2014-03-03 12:47:48 AM  
1 votes:
Toto sells what they call a Washlet to replace the toilet seat. Of course, they cost more that a Toto toilet, but it's an option that doesn't take up more space.  www.totousa.com

Not as insane as their straight up Japanese toilets, but for $700 you can be shooting water at your crack.

I'm feeling a market for a product in between.
2014-03-03 12:44:52 AM  
1 votes:

tripleseven: RoyBatty: Fissile: In civilized countries, they have this thing you see on the left.  No "flushable" wipes needed.

I understand how integrated bidet and toilets work, I guess.

What is the protocol for using the thing on the left?

Crap, stand up, and then poop laden, waddle stage right, adjust the water temp and fountain height? (Man how long that must take on cold winter night!)

Pretty much.

The thing about bidets that confound people who have never used them is that they don't seem to understand you don't just blast the stream into your ass. It just there to wet then rinse your ass. You're supposed to wash your ass, with your hands, and soap.


Do they also come with a nail brush so you can clean the crap out from under them when you're done?
2014-03-03 12:38:16 AM  
1 votes:

UNC_Samurai: Anything that attempts to analyze the chemical composition of things coming out of my bunghole would most likely violate the Geneva Convention under biological warfare restrictions.


As someone on a keto diet (high fat / low carb) the Geneva Convention does not apply. I could knock a crow off a crap wagon.
2014-03-03 12:34:57 AM  
1 votes:

Trocadero: Bidets spray shiat water all over your bathroom. They're worse than flushing w/ the lid up.


By that reasoning, so does your shower.

Again, the stream doesn't do all the work. Its only there and positioned in that fashion for the easiest way to wet and rinse your ass.


Tmyk.
2014-03-03 12:34:45 AM  
1 votes:

tripleseven: The thing about bidets that confound people who have never used them is that they don't seem to understand you don't just blast the stream into your ass. It just there to wet then rinse your ass. You're supposed to wash your ass, with your hands, and soap.


So you use your bare hands to smear the shiat off your asshole?
2014-03-03 12:34:06 AM  
1 votes:

WhoopAssWayne: UNC_Samurai: installing a goddamn bidet.

The Japanese ones that analyse your leavings and offer diet advice? All in a HAL like voice?


Anything that attempts to analyze the chemical composition of things coming out of my bunghole would most likely violate the Geneva Convention under biological warfare restrictions.
2014-03-03 12:32:16 AM  
1 votes:
Bidets spray shiat water all over your bathroom. They're worse than flushing w/ the lid up.
2014-03-03 12:30:24 AM  
1 votes:

ArcadianRefugee: What the hell is wrong with toilet paper, you prissy little nancies?


Dry toilet paper, especially 1-ply sandpaper, can lead to chafing and bleeding, along with irritation of hemorrhoids and more bleeding. A good combination of using toilet paper first and then a flushable wipe prevents those scary moments of seeing red in the toilet. So my typical evening dump involves me wondering what food I ate to give that stench, instead of panicking because my ass is bleeding.
2014-03-03 12:27:50 AM  
1 votes:

ArcadianRefugee: What the hell is wrong with toilet paper, you prissy little nancies?


No colon. Mashed-potato-poop 10-11 times a day. TP only would rub me raw. Lotsa people have different gastro problems.

Aren't you glad you asked? ;-)

*themoreyouknow.jpeg
2014-03-03 12:27:46 AM  
1 votes:

browntimmy: I don't know if I have just have messier poops or if our whole damn toilet/plumbing system was made for people who don't wipe properly.


After 20 years of haemorrhoids, my misshapen arsehole laughs at toilet paper. I could sit there wiping through three full rolls and still be finding new shiat filled crevices.

A bidet might do the job if it was fitted out with a Gurney Jet rather than the pathetically weak squirts they use standard.  Currently I use the Mythbusters Method... ie, let it dry for a week then use a stick of dynamite.
2014-03-03 12:18:27 AM  
1 votes:
I've been to a few countries where they ask you to put used toilet paper in a bin because the plumbing can't handle it. I use the paper sparingly and flush it. I don't want to stay in a room with a garbage can full of shiatty paper.
2014-03-03 12:17:21 AM  
1 votes:

rebelyell2006: You can have my flushable wipes when you pry them from my warm, stinky hemorrhoids.


You can just throw the wipes away in the trash, man. Do not flush them. 

You'd be like them women folks who clog the pipes downing their lady hygiene products.  Then act all coy when confronted with the facts. "They're not my pipes! Tee hee, the business will be okay!"

/seriously don't flush that shiat down the toilet.
//that's what waste bins are for.
2014-03-03 12:14:58 AM  
1 votes:
FTA:
"They had to blast a 15-ton, bus-sized mass of wipes and congealed grease - dubbed "fatberg" - from the city's nearly paralyzed sewer system last summer."

Am I the only one who initially read that as, "fartberg?"
2014-03-03 12:06:08 AM  
1 votes:

LtDarkstar: can't imagine people wanting to use the ipad while pooping.


Dude, I've had a laptop in the bathroom since wireless went consumer.  How else can you read the news on the can?

Confabulat: I discovered that the hard way a few years ago.


Our septic system had a Gillette razor handle from the 70's stuck in it, and when my wife cleaned the bathroom with "flushable cleaning wipes" after we bought the house, they wrapped around that handle and plugged the whole damn thing up.  We had to dig up part of the driveway to replace the line out to the septic tank.  I did learn that during WWII they used cardboard pipes soaked in pine tar for plumbing lines because metal was at such a premium.

It's all nice, slick PVC now.
2014-03-03 12:05:41 AM  
1 votes:

Molavian: Fix your ancient infrastructure.


With what money?
2014-03-02 11:48:50 PM  
1 votes:
You can have my flushable wipes when you pry them from my warm, stinky hemorrhoids.
2014-03-02 11:48:29 PM  
1 votes:
How much toilet paper do you...

OK, nevermind.
2014-03-02 08:59:31 PM  
1 votes:
i.imgur.com
 
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