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(NYPost)   It turns out that flushable wipes are not flushable after all. Well, shiat   (nypost.com) divider line 180
    More: Sick, 72nd Street, Kimberly-Clark, brooklyn federal court, clogged drain  
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14655 clicks; posted to Main » on 02 Mar 2014 at 11:43 PM (33 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2014-03-03 01:22:42 AM  

tripleseven: OK class. Let's recap.

A bidet is for cleaning your nether regions and your junk (men and women) without necessitating a shower.
If you want to use it immediately after a doo doo, yes you can. However prior to using it after a doo doo, you'd usually wipe.

The jet is not there to blast doody out of your bung. Its the most convenient way to wet your nether regions if you're not in a shower. As a matter of fact some bidets don't have jets, they have a faucet which fills up the bidet.

The really are handy. You can keep your shower fresh feeling all day...


You mean they're made for keeping my asscrack AND my balls shower-fresh-smelling ALL day?!

Woah...
 
2014-03-03 01:24:28 AM  
...but i always depended on the fine layer of shiat as kind of a dry lube..like graphite.

Keeps the cheeks sliding without chaffing....
 
2014-03-03 01:25:09 AM  

The more you eat the more you fart: tripleseven: OK class. Let's recap.

A bidet is for cleaning your nether regions and your junk (men and women) without necessitating a shower.
If you want to use it immediately after a doo doo, yes you can. However prior to using it after a doo doo, you'd usually wipe.

The jet is not there to blast doody out of your bung. Its the most convenient way to wet your nether regions if you're not in a shower. As a matter of fact some bidets don't have jets, they have a faucet which fills up the bidet.

The really are handy. You can keep your shower fresh feeling all day...

You mean they're made for keeping my asscrack AND my balls shower-fresh-smelling ALL day?!

Woah...


Yes. Pretty much.
 
2014-03-03 01:26:43 AM  
I use the kids wipes and their Diaper Genie that's next to the toilet.  Ahhh baby wipes, the next best thing to the shower for a poopbutt.
 
2014-03-03 01:29:36 AM  
There is no "One Size Fits All" solution.

Which is why you need to create an arsenal of solutions.

www.digitaltechmedics.com
 
2014-03-03 01:29:56 AM  

Smackledorfer: Smackledorfer: MattyBlast: The damn things dry out too quickly anyway.  The first few work great, then you're left with a stack of construction paper.

I have some over a year old and still moist.

They make sealable bags now fyi.

And i dont flush them, fyi.


The 90 to-a-pack baby wipes at Costco/Sam's have a snap-close hard plastic top.
 
2014-03-03 01:35:16 AM  

tripleseven: The more you eat the more you fart: tripleseven: OK class. Let's recap.

A bidet is for cleaning your nether regions and your junk (men and women) without necessitating a shower.
If you want to use it immediately after a doo doo, yes you can. However prior to using it after a doo doo, you'd usually wipe.

The jet is not there to blast doody out of your bung. Its the most convenient way to wet your nether regions if you're not in a shower. As a matter of fact some bidets don't have jets, they have a faucet which fills up the bidet.

The really are handy. You can keep your shower fresh feeling all day...

You mean they're made for keeping my asscrack AND my balls shower-fresh-smelling ALL day?!

Woah...

Yes. Pretty much.


You volunteering to sniff-test?
 
2014-03-03 01:37:31 AM  

LaughingRadish: I suspect this flushable wipes thing got started when soldiers in Iraq noticed that baby wipes made for great refreshment when a shower or even a wet rag couldn't be had.  Then they noticed that using baby wipes for wiping their bums also made for great refreshment.


Also, a few years ago an actor (Terrance Howard IIRC) made a big deal on a bunch of talk shows about wanting women to use them before sexyfuntime.
That's legit for everyone, really.
 
2014-03-03 01:42:03 AM  

EdNortonsTwin: I use the kids wipes and their Diaper Genie that's next to the toilet.  Ahhh baby wipes, the next best thing to the shower for a poopbutt.


Diaper Genie! I can get rid of that coffee can now.

/thx
 
2014-03-03 01:44:22 AM  
round here we have 2 baskets with corn cobs in them. one with white corn cobs, the other with brown. you use a brown one. then a white one to see if you need to use another brown one.
 
2014-03-03 01:44:40 AM  

rebelyell2006: ArcadianRefugee: What the hell is wrong with toilet paper, you prissy little nancies?

Dry toilet paper, especially 1-ply sandpaper, can lead to chafing and bleeding, along with irritation of hemorrhoids and more bleeding. A good combination of using toilet paper first and then a flushable wipe prevents those scary moments of seeing red in the toilet. So my typical evening dump involves me wondering what food I ate to give that stench, instead of panicking because my ass is bleeding.


This. Is. FARK.
 
2014-03-03 01:44:43 AM  
Fissile,
Just forget all that and use the bidet the way Southrons do.


Don't forget it is the perfect size for the cat.
content.simonscat.com
 
2014-03-03 01:53:10 AM  
Having just returned from Japan, I will say that they are a farkload more civilized than we are. My ass feels great, and they have free pr0n, nice 7 11s too. And I was never worried about Trayvons coming around for skittles as I shat.
 
2014-03-03 02:06:22 AM  
You guys can keep fighting over which banal method of anal hygiene you prefer. I am going to stick with the classics. The dexterity from the tongue of a Peruvian slave child is something that just can't be automated.
 
2014-03-03 02:29:37 AM  

Fissile: In civilized countries, they have this thing you see on the left.  No "flushable" wipes needed.



img.fark.net

Well, I got a dick (and I don't wipe after peeing). After taking a dump are you supposed to glide/slide over to the other piece of "bathroom furniture" to finish up? Do you take off your pants (both pair) and your shoes before "doing" anything?

I'm just not seeing how this would work. I usually just have my valet wipe me . . . I have no idea what he does with the towels afterward. Actually, I've just never thought to look.
 
2014-03-03 02:31:38 AM  
I think I have hemmoroids from the cheap toilet paper they have at work. It bleeds when I wipe, and it hurts when I bend over, and I can feel little fleshy bumps when I'm wiping. The other day after I got done, I stood up and there was a little piece of something sitting on the back of the toilet, it looked like a craisin. I think it may have been a 'roid that peeled off during some more passionate wiping.
 
2014-03-03 02:32:26 AM  

Enemabag Jones: Fissile,
Just forget all that and use the bidet the way Southrons do.

Don't forget it is the perfect size for the cat.
[content.simonscat.com image 480x640]


My entry from my Paris apartment circa 1996:

home.earthlink.net
 
2014-03-03 02:35:13 AM  

HammerHeadSnark: I usually just have my valet wipe me . . . I have no idea what he does with the towels afterward. Actually, I've just never thought to look.


You know those brown towels he has for your hands and face? They used to be white...
 
2014-03-03 02:40:50 AM  
Anecdotally, my plumbing was clogged by "flushable" wipes a couple months ago. Odd, since I don't use them. Could my  au pair be the culprit?  I don't have an au pair. It's a mystery.
 
2014-03-03 02:51:37 AM  

the ha ha guy: HammerHeadSnark: I usually just have my valet wipe me . . . I have no idea what he does with the towels afterward. Actually, I've just never thought to look.

You know those brown towels he has for your hands and face? They used to be white...


Ha Ha, guy
 
2014-03-03 02:54:09 AM  

whatshisname: I've been to a few countries where they ask you to put used toilet paper in a bin because the plumbing can't handle it. I use the paper sparingly and flush it. I don't want to stay in a room with a garbage can full of shiatty paper.


I just got back from Costa Rica where I stayed in a king-bed room for 19 days of my 20-day stay. There were no restrictions on what I could flush. On the last day I was moved to a queen-bed room. Prominently displayed on the inside of the bathroom door was a placard asking guests to not flush any paper down the toilet as it was likely to clog the drains. I decided that as long as my turds were bigger than the toilet paper I'd be okay.
 
2014-03-03 03:06:14 AM  
I don't care. If whatever I flush makes it to the septic tank, then I'm happy. Every few years I have to grab a shovel and unearth those lids so some pump truck can transport loads of asswipe and sludgy sh*t to some landfill. TP might not clog things up halfway to flushtown quite like a wet wipe, but I still have to have the shiat trucked off eventually.
 
2014-03-03 03:16:00 AM  
static.neatorama.com

/Pussies.
 
2014-03-03 03:28:04 AM  
For most of my years growing up in the mid-1960's-late 1970's, we put our regular toilet paper in a garbage can, due to the fact we had a septic tank, instead of being on the sewer line. We paid a truck to come out every so often to empty the tank. Once the sewer line got to where we lived, we started flushing the paper. Never used those wipes, so really can't comment on them.

Back in those days, the garbage that was burnable, we burned in a metal can in the back yard. We drove the rest out to the parish dump.

These days, same house, Waste Management is a lot handier!
 
2014-03-03 03:29:57 AM  

Lsherm: filter: Lsherm: Fissile: In civilized countries, they have this thing you see on the left.  No "flushable" wipes needed.

[www.timticks.com image 850x614]

Spraying water up your asshole doesn't sound civilized to me.  And you still need to dry off.

And smearing your shiat around your ass with a wood-based product does?

What is this smearing?  You need to sue your parents for not teaching you how to wipe properly.


If you aint smearing shiat around, you are done wiping.  Seriously, you are moving a shiat coated piece of paper on your ass, with the objective of getting as much shiat on the paper as possible, leaving the least amount of shiat on your ass as possible.  It is called 'wiping' your ass-- not dabbing your bung hole.  It is simple physics- shiat covered paper contacts skin, smearing shiat around.
 
2014-03-03 03:39:38 AM  
Am I the only one confused by the discussion that has resulted here? I assumed that "flushable wipes" referred to the wipes you can use to do a quick cleaning of your bathroom (sink, toilet, etc.), then flush instead of throwing in the garbage. Do people actually use wet wipes post... uh .. business?
 
2014-03-03 03:40:59 AM  

DON.MAC: These things are at least as flushable as the pet alligator I didn't want anymore.


Don't ever go into the sewers, he might be waiting for you

i265.photobucket.com

Taco Bell should do some sort of April Fools joke about wrapping their tacos in toilet paper, or including a flushable wipe with every purchase (they are known for their sense of humor online, but I don't think they'd go this far)
 
2014-03-03 03:42:33 AM  
If you got shiat on your leg, would you think its clean by just wiping it with dry tissue?
 
2014-03-03 03:44:56 AM  

filter: Lsherm: filter: Lsherm: Fissile: In civilized countries, they have this thing you see on the left.  No "flushable" wipes needed.

[www.timticks.com image 850x614]

Spraying water up your asshole doesn't sound civilized to me.  And you still need to dry off.

And smearing your shiat around your ass with a wood-based product does?

What is this smearing?  You need to sue your parents for not teaching you how to wipe properly.

If you aint smearing shiat around, you are done wiping.  Seriously, you are moving a shiat coated piece of paper on your ass, with the objective of getting as much shiat on the paper as possible, leaving the least amount of shiat on your ass as possible.  It is called 'wiping' your ass-- not dabbing your bung hole.  It is simple physics- shiat covered paper contacts skin, smearing shiat around.


You're doing it wrong. Stop using the same piece.
 
2014-03-03 04:04:54 AM  

ImpendingCynic: Am I the only one confused by the discussion that has resulted here? I assumed that "flushable wipes" referred to the wipes you can use to do a quick cleaning of your bathroom (sink, toilet, etc.), then flush instead of throwing in the garbage. Do people actually use wet wipes post... uh .. business?


In short?  Yes.
Longer?  It's handy when you're in gastronomical distress and things are rather messier than normal, or you've been stuck on the pot for so long that chaffing is a real concern.

For cleaning your bathroom - they're generally not tough enough for a real good scrubbing and I don't mind tossing those towels in the trash.

On that note, I wonder if the flushable wipes are actually following the trend of popularity for non-flushable wipes, and that people are flushing the non-flush types in increasing numbers.  I wouldn't be surprised if they are.
 
2014-03-03 04:09:09 AM  

violentsalvation: I don't care. If whatever I flush makes it to the septic tank, then I'm happy. Every few years I have to grab a shovel and unearth those lids so some pump truck can transport loads of asswipe and sludgy sh*t to some landfill. TP might not clog things up halfway to flushtown quite like a wet wipe, but I still have to have the shiat trucked off eventually.


You know they are talking about sewer systems and not in-house pipes right?

If you knew that, are you really playing fark you I've got mine over a septic tank? :)
 
2014-03-03 04:12:18 AM  

ImpendingCynic: Am I the only one confused by the discussion that has resulted here? I assumed that "flushable wipes" referred to the wipes you can use to do a quick cleaning of your bathroom (sink, toilet, etc.), then flush instead of throwing in the garbage. Do people actually use wet wipes post... uh .. business?


Yes you are very confused, and yes many people wipe their ass with a moistened wipe.

If you don't ever have a shiat that calls for more than dry paper you probably have stained underwear. You can wet tp, but it really isn't the same.
 
2014-03-03 04:16:39 AM  

Firethorn: ImpendingCynic: Am I the only one confused by the discussion that has resulted here? I assumed that "flushable wipes" referred to the wipes you can use to do a quick cleaning of your bathroom (sink, toilet, etc.), then flush instead of throwing in the garbage. Do people actually use wet wipes post... uh .. business?

In short?  Yes.
Longer?  It's handy when you're in gastronomical distress and things are rather messier than normal, or you've been stuck on the pot for so long that chaffing is a real concern.

For cleaning your bathroom - they're generally not tough enough for a real good scrubbing and I don't mind tossing those towels in the trash.

On that note, I wonder if the flushable wipes are actually following the trend of popularity for non-flushable wipes, and that people are flushing the non-flush types in increasing numbers.  I wouldn't be surprised if they are.


Most of the wipes on the market are not flushable, so I'm sure a lot are getting flushed.

A number of reports/studies have come out lately that the so-called flushable ones don't really break down at all though.
 
2014-03-03 04:26:17 AM  
Well, I have gall disease, and I'm an apartment dweller so you can pry my wet wipes from my cold dead hands.
 
2014-03-03 05:53:33 AM  

o'really: A number of reports/studies have come out lately that the so-called flushable ones don't really break down at all though.


Well, I can see two issues here - for municipal septic systems they don't really have to so long as they can make the journey to the treatment plant without clogging anything.  Actually breaking down is more important for septic systems, and part of why I have to look for 'safe for septic systems' when I shop for various things.

A flushable wipe that's septic system safe is probably a bit different than one that's not.
 
2014-03-03 05:56:36 AM  

tripleseven: OK class. Let's recap.

A bidet is for cleaning your nether regions and your junk (men and women) without necessitating a shower.
If you want to use it immediately after a doo doo, yes you can. However prior to using it after a doo doo, you'd usually wipe.

The jet is not there to blast doody out of your bung. Its the most convenient way to wet your nether regions if you're not in a shower. As a matter of fact some bidets don't have jets, they have a faucet which fills up the bidet.

The really are handy. You can keep your shower fresh feeling all day...


In European countries where this is a "thing" they use them in replacement of a shower. (Lived there for a time.) The rest of them stinks to high heaven which they try to cover up with cologne. They still haven't caught on to the daily showering to reduce b.o. No thanks I'll take my wet wipes and warm daily shower over a stupid bidet.
 
2014-03-03 06:08:41 AM  
i.imgur.com
 
2014-03-03 06:40:09 AM  
I've got enough CSBs on this subject to block up the Interwebs' pipes, but unfortunately I am typing on my phone and couldn't decide which one to start with.
 
2014-03-03 07:39:45 AM  

underwhere: RoyBatty: Fissile: In civilized countries, they have this thing you see on the left.  No "flushable" wipes needed.



I understand how integrated bidet and toilets work, I guess.

What is the protocol for using the thing on the left?

Crap, stand up, and then poop laden, waddle stage right, adjust the water temp and fountain height? (Man how long that must take on cold winter night!)

You actually pivot so you're facing the wall. That way you can adjust the controls while you're popping a squat.


So, reverse-cowgirl?

I dunno, guys... bidets, 1-ply, 2-ply, "flushable" wipes...
Can we at least all agree that all of it is better than the medieval custom of using a fist full of straw from the floor / your bare left hand?
 
2014-03-03 07:50:48 AM  
/posting in a poop thread while pooooooping
 
2014-03-03 07:56:17 AM  
Many's the septic guy who's put his kids through college because of flushable wipes.

Or are you all so uncivilized that you have to live somewhere with poop rivers under your roads?
 
2014-03-03 07:57:04 AM  
How appropriate that I've got one farker in this thread farkied as :"asshole".

I've never used or even seen "flushable wipes".  Toilet paper is good enough for me.

This is the one thing that makes me have 2nd thoughts about time travel.  They don't really talk about it much in history class, but what the fark did the ancient Romans or the Greeks or Egyptians use to wipe?  Imagine your first crap if you traveled back to Rome about 2000 years ago.  After getting over the whole language barrier you're like, um where's the Charmin?  I'm sure Caesar was just fine with using his hands or the tongues of slaves or whatever he used to get clean.  He probably thought it was normal and it probably was normal back then.

What about George Washington?  Do you think he had a bidet?  I think not.  He didn't even have a farking Sears catalog.  Kids today will probably look back in 50 years and think "Gross, Grandpa didn't even use flushable wipes."

You're damn right I don't, and I like it.  While my ass may not be clean enough to eat off of, I manage to wipe the shiat off and then cover it up with underwear and pants and I wash my hands after pooping.

I hope everyone has a good day thinking about their co-workers shiatty assholes.
 
2014-03-03 08:16:46 AM  

gfid: How appropriate that I've got one farker in this thread farkied as :"asshole".

I've never used or even seen "flushable wipes".  Toilet paper is good enough for me.

This is the one thing that makes me have 2nd thoughts about time travel.  They don't really talk about it much in history class, but what the fark did the ancient Romans or the Greeks or Egyptians use to wipe?  Imagine your first crap if you traveled back to Rome about 2000 years ago.  After getting over the whole language barrier you're like, um where's the Charmin?  I'm sure Caesar was just fine with using his hands or the tongues of slaves or whatever he used to get clean.  He probably thought it was normal and it probably was normal back then.

What about George Washington?  Do you think he had a bidet?  I think not.  He didn't even have a farking Sears catalog.  Kids today will probably look back in 50 years and think "Gross, Grandpa didn't even use flushable wipes."

You're damn right I don't, and I like it.  While my ass may not be clean enough to eat off of, I manage to wipe the shiat off and then cover it up with underwear and pants and I wash my hands after pooping.

I hope everyone has a good day thinking about their co-workers shiatty assholes.


Well yeah, that's how the custom of right-handed handshakes came about; wipe with the left, do everything else with the right.
 
2014-03-03 08:23:16 AM  

armor helix: I don't understand what the big allure of wet wipes is. After you use a couple you then have to dry. Then you're right back to regular toilet paper.

Why not skip the middle man and go right to the tp?


Dry? The wipes aren't that wet dude, they're merely damp, no need to dry afterward.
 
2014-03-03 08:27:20 AM  

rhiannon: filter: Lsherm: filter: Lsherm: Fissile: In civilized countries, they have this thing you see on the left.  No "flushable" wipes needed.

[www.timticks.com image 850x614]

Spraying water up your asshole doesn't sound civilized to me.  And you still need to dry off.

And smearing your shiat around your ass with a wood-based product does?

What is this smearing?  You need to sue your parents for not teaching you how to wipe properly.

If you aint smearing shiat around, you are done wiping.  Seriously, you are moving a shiat coated piece of paper on your ass, with the objective of getting as much shiat on the paper as possible, leaving the least amount of shiat on your ass as possible.  It is called 'wiping' your ass-- not dabbing your bung hole.  It is simple physics- shiat covered paper contacts skin, smearing shiat around.

You're doing it wrong. Stop using the same piece.


I think we just have a different definition of 'clean.'
 
2014-03-03 08:32:40 AM  

MattyBlast: The damn things dry out too quickly anyway.  The first few work great, then you're left with a stack of construction paper.


Just pour a little water in the container when that happens.

As for them being flushable, the article is correct, they're not. Aside from what comes out of your body, the only thing you should flush is TP. No wipes, no napkins, no paper towels, no cigarette butts, no feminine products, just TP. You may claim your plumbing can handle them fine, but it only takes one of those things to get caught up somewhere along the line. Once that happens they will build up and next thing you know you have a blockage. The guy in the article was lucky, you could easily spend thousands of dollars fixing a problem like this.
 
2014-03-03 08:34:18 AM  
I have a Toto clone at home. 
People who don't have similar devices are beneath contempt.
 
2014-03-03 08:45:29 AM  

Badgers: [static.neatorama.com image 480x510]

/Pussies.


Let me guess how you got your username.
 
2014-03-03 08:45:50 AM  
One word: Burlap. Handles the roughest craps PLUS removes 90% of existing dingleberries.
 
2014-03-03 08:51:16 AM  

gfid: How appropriate that I've got one farker in this thread farkied as :"asshole".

I've never used or even seen "flushable wipes".  Toilet paper is good enough for me.

This is the one thing that makes me have 2nd thoughts about time travel.  They don't really talk about it much in history class, but what the fark did the ancient Romans or the Greeks or Egyptians use to wipe?  Imagine your first crap if you traveled back to Rome about 2000 years ago.  After getting over the whole language barrier you're like, um where's the Charmin?  I'm sure Caesar was just fine with using his hands or the tongues of slaves or whatever he used to get clean.  He probably thought it was normal and it probably was normal back then.

What about George Washington?  Do you think he had a bidet?  I think not.  He didn't even have a farking Sears catalog.  Kids today will probably look back in 50 years and think "Gross, Grandpa didn't even use flushable wipes."

You're damn right I don't, and I like it.  While my ass may not be clean enough to eat off of, I manage to wipe the shiat off and then cover it up with underwear and pants and I wash my hands after pooping.

I hope everyone has a good day thinking about their co-workers shiatty assholes.


Romans used a wet rag on a stick
 
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