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(NYPost)   It turns out that flushable wipes are not flushable after all. Well, shiat   (nypost.com) divider line 180
    More: Sick, 72nd Street, Kimberly-Clark, brooklyn federal court, clogged drain  
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14646 clicks; posted to Main » on 02 Mar 2014 at 11:43 PM (29 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2014-03-03 12:24:31 AM

Ed Grubermann: Molavian: Fix your ancient infrastructure.

With what money?


That's a good question.
 
2014-03-03 12:24:52 AM
He spent a whole $600 on a plumber and decided to spend 20 times that to hire a lawyer to sue? Farker got off easy.

Seriously, dry toilet paper is much younger than America itself, but we need pre-moistened toilet paper now? People can't wet it themselves anymore?

http://nobodys-perfect.com/vtpm/exhibithall/informational/tphistory. ht ml

There is a sink within reach of my toilet, if I need to moisten it, I do it myself. If you're paying a premium for someone else to sell you pre-moistened hoity toity asswipe, you probably a.) didn't read the fine print which absolves them of plumbing issues they could not foresee, b.) have way too more dollars than sense, c.) are too lazy to wet your own damn toilet paper or take a shower if that's what's called for after your messy deuce.
 
2014-03-03 12:25:10 AM

maram500: I do not understand bidets. Unless that thing sprays a pretty damn high-pressure stream into my crack, there's no way it'll get anywhere near clean enough.

I normally use toilet paper, but baby wipes are goddamn luxurious on my ass. And my toilet has no issues flushing them. Goddamn do I love industrial-strength plumbing!


Uh you actually use soap and your hands to wash your ass. Then rinse. Drying really isn't necessary, as your ass dries pretty quickly on its own. You could use a towel to dry but not really necessary.
 
2014-03-03 12:25:22 AM

Fissile: In civilized countries, they have this thing you see on the left.  No "flushable" wipes needed.


i.imgur.com

I understand how integrated bidet and toilets work, I guess.

What is the protocol for using the thing on the left?

Crap, stand up, and then poop laden, waddle stage right, adjust the water temp and fountain height? (Man how long that must take on cold winter night!)
 
2014-03-03 12:27:46 AM

browntimmy: I don't know if I have just have messier poops or if our whole damn toilet/plumbing system was made for people who don't wipe properly.


After 20 years of haemorrhoids, my misshapen arsehole laughs at toilet paper. I could sit there wiping through three full rolls and still be finding new shiat filled crevices.

A bidet might do the job if it was fitted out with a Gurney Jet rather than the pathetically weak squirts they use standard.  Currently I use the Mythbusters Method... ie, let it dry for a week then use a stick of dynamite.
 
2014-03-03 12:27:50 AM

ArcadianRefugee: What the hell is wrong with toilet paper, you prissy little nancies?


No colon. Mashed-potato-poop 10-11 times a day. TP only would rub me raw. Lotsa people have different gastro problems.

Aren't you glad you asked? ;-)

*themoreyouknow.jpeg
 
2014-03-03 12:27:59 AM

That Guy What Stole the Bacon: FTA:
"They had to blast a 15-ton, bus-sized mass of wipes and congealed grease - dubbed "fatberg" - from the city's nearly paralyzed sewer system last summer."

Am I the only one who initially read that as, "fartberg?"


Fatberg, fartberg, works either way really.
 
2014-03-03 12:28:26 AM

UNC_Samurai: installing a goddamn bidet.


The Japanese ones that analyse your leavings and offer diet advice? All in a HAL like voice?
 
2014-03-03 12:28:29 AM

UNC_Samurai: When Mrs. Samurai and I remodel our bathroom, we are installing a goddamn bidet. We as a species need to acknowledge that good plumbing and superior bum-cleansing technology is a necessity in the 21st century.


Ive never used a bidet, but it seems to me like the water pressure required to get things really clean down there would have ot be powerful to the point of uncomfortableness.
 
2014-03-03 12:29:31 AM

RoyBatty: Fissile: In civilized countries, they have this thing you see on the left.  No "flushable" wipes needed.



I understand how integrated bidet and toilets work, I guess.

What is the protocol for using the thing on the left?

Crap, stand up, and then poop laden, waddle stage right, adjust the water temp and fountain height? (Man how long that must take on cold winter night!)


Pretty much.

The thing about bidets that confound people who have never used them is that they don't seem to understand you don't just blast the stream into your ass. It just there to wet then rinse your ass. You're supposed to wash your ass, with your hands, and soap.
 
2014-03-03 12:30:22 AM

RoyBatty: Fissile: In civilized countries, they have this thing you see on the left.  No "flushable" wipes needed.



I understand how integrated bidet and toilets work, I guess.

What is the protocol for using the thing on the left?

Crap, stand up, and then poop laden, waddle stage right, adjust the water temp and fountain height? (Man how long that must take on cold winter night!)


You actually pivot so you're facing the wall. That way you can adjust the controls while you're popping a squat.
 
2014-03-03 12:30:24 AM

ArcadianRefugee: What the hell is wrong with toilet paper, you prissy little nancies?


Dry toilet paper, especially 1-ply sandpaper, can lead to chafing and bleeding, along with irritation of hemorrhoids and more bleeding. A good combination of using toilet paper first and then a flushable wipe prevents those scary moments of seeing red in the toilet. So my typical evening dump involves me wondering what food I ate to give that stench, instead of panicking because my ass is bleeding.
 
2014-03-03 12:30:32 AM

UNC_Samurai: When Mrs. Samurai and I remodel our bathroom, we are installing a goddamn bidet. We as a species need to acknowledge that good plumbing and superior bum-cleansing technology is a necessity in the 21st century.


Might not be the same, but it works for me. They sell them on amazon for $40 or so. Easy as hell to install.
 
2014-03-03 12:32:16 AM
Bidets spray shiat water all over your bathroom. They're worse than flushing w/ the lid up.
 
2014-03-03 12:32:21 AM
Some nitwit's put two dunnies in here!


image1.frequency.com

/IT'S FOR WASHIN' YOUR BACKSIDE, RIGHT?
 
2014-03-03 12:34:06 AM

WhoopAssWayne: UNC_Samurai: installing a goddamn bidet.

The Japanese ones that analyse your leavings and offer diet advice? All in a HAL like voice?


Anything that attempts to analyze the chemical composition of things coming out of my bunghole would most likely violate the Geneva Convention under biological warfare restrictions.
 
2014-03-03 12:34:10 AM
i.imgur.com
 
2014-03-03 12:34:45 AM

tripleseven: The thing about bidets that confound people who have never used them is that they don't seem to understand you don't just blast the stream into your ass. It just there to wet then rinse your ass. You're supposed to wash your ass, with your hands, and soap.


So you use your bare hands to smear the shiat off your asshole?
 
2014-03-03 12:34:57 AM

Trocadero: Bidets spray shiat water all over your bathroom. They're worse than flushing w/ the lid up.


By that reasoning, so does your shower.

Again, the stream doesn't do all the work. Its only there and positioned in that fashion for the easiest way to wet and rinse your ass.


Tmyk.
 
2014-03-03 12:35:55 AM

tripleseven: RoyBatty: Fissile: In civilized countries, they have this thing you see on the left.  No "flushable" wipes needed.

I understand how integrated bidet and toilets work, I guess.

What is the protocol for using the thing on the left?

Crap, stand up, and then poop laden, waddle stage right, adjust the water temp and fountain height? (Man how long that must take on cold winter night!)

Pretty much.

The thing about bidets that confound people who have never used them is that they don't seem to understand you don't just blast the stream into your ass. It just there to wet then rinse your ass. You're supposed to wash your ass, with your hands, and soap.


I hadn't know that, thank you!

So where does the poop go? The bidet photos don't seem to show a drain.

Still seems sort of gross to have to touch the water jet to test its temperature.
 
2014-03-03 12:35:57 AM

Watubi: I'm willing to bet multiple wipes were used by this guy.  My rule, wipe a couple times with the regular stuff, finish off with a flushable wet wipe.  If you're still in need of wiping after that, jump in the shower...and you seriously need to change your diet


This,  I only use one per movement after the toilet paper to get squeaky *high pitched fart* clean.

Hopefully the fact that I live in a brand new home in a brand new area will stop the wipes from ever clogging things up.
 
2014-03-03 12:36:13 AM

zzrhardy: wafflestomping down the shower drain


lol
 
2014-03-03 12:36:41 AM
It it for washing babies  in?

No it's for washing babies out.
 
2014-03-03 12:37:33 AM

Molavian: tripleseven: The thing about bidets that confound people who have never used them is that they don't seem to understand you don't just blast the stream into your ass. It just there to wet then rinse your ass. You're supposed to wash your ass, with your hands, and soap.

So you use your bare hands to smear the shiat off your asshole?


Yes, just like washing your ass in the shower. Unless of course you use a washcloth, but really is it any better to use a washcloth in your ass?
 
2014-03-03 12:38:09 AM

RoyBatty: tripleseven: RoyBatty: Fissile: In civilized countries, they have this thing you see on the left.  No "flushable" wipes needed.

I understand how integrated bidet and toilets work, I guess.

What is the protocol for using the thing on the left?

Crap, stand up, and then poop laden, waddle stage right, adjust the water temp and fountain height? (Man how long that must take on cold winter night!)

Pretty much.

The thing about bidets that confound people who have never used them is that they don't seem to understand you don't just blast the stream into your ass. It just there to wet then rinse your ass. You're supposed to wash your ass, with your hands, and soap.

I hadn't know that, thank you!

So where does the poop go? The bidet photos don't seem to show a drain.

Still seems sort of gross to have to touch the water jet to test its temperature.


They all have drains.
 
2014-03-03 12:38:16 AM

UNC_Samurai: Anything that attempts to analyze the chemical composition of things coming out of my bunghole would most likely violate the Geneva Convention under biological warfare restrictions.


As someone on a keto diet (high fat / low carb) the Geneva Convention does not apply. I could knock a crow off a crap wagon.
 
2014-03-03 12:38:43 AM
I wonder what the age distribution is on these adult flushable wipes thing. I find them much more bizarre than bidets.

They seem far too closely linked to either being a baby or being senile.

It's a millennial thing isn't it? Like millennials aren't going to want to work unless the boss supplies flushable wipes for them and USB chargers?
 
2014-03-03 12:40:06 AM
Well the manufacturers are correct - they are flushable.
 
2014-03-03 12:43:31 AM

ArcadianRefugee: What the hell is wrong with toilet paper, you prissy little nancies?


I dunno. I use John Wayne TP myself.
 
2014-03-03 12:44:52 AM

tripleseven: RoyBatty: Fissile: In civilized countries, they have this thing you see on the left.  No "flushable" wipes needed.

I understand how integrated bidet and toilets work, I guess.

What is the protocol for using the thing on the left?

Crap, stand up, and then poop laden, waddle stage right, adjust the water temp and fountain height? (Man how long that must take on cold winter night!)

Pretty much.

The thing about bidets that confound people who have never used them is that they don't seem to understand you don't just blast the stream into your ass. It just there to wet then rinse your ass. You're supposed to wash your ass, with your hands, and soap.


Do they also come with a nail brush so you can clean the crap out from under them when you're done?
 
2014-03-03 12:46:17 AM
scenteddemented.com
And we liked it.
 
2014-03-03 12:46:41 AM

FirstNationalBastard: Lsherm: Fissile: In civilized countries, they have this thing you see on the left.  No "flushable" wipes needed.

[www.timticks.com image 850x614]

Spraying water up your asshole doesn't sound civilized to me.  And you still need to dry off.

Yeah, that's why you also need one of those jet dryers like they have in public restrooms.


Keep hair blow dryer plugged in, set to cool. Ta da!
 
2014-03-03 12:47:48 AM
Toto sells what they call a Washlet to replace the toilet seat. Of course, they cost more that a Toto toilet, but it's an option that doesn't take up more space.  www.totousa.com

Not as insane as their straight up Japanese toilets, but for $700 you can be shooting water at your crack.

I'm feeling a market for a product in between.
 
2014-03-03 12:48:04 AM

RoyBatty: I wonder what the age distribution is on these adult flushable wipes thing. I find them much more bizarre than bidets.

They seem far too closely linked to either being a baby or being senile.

It's a millennial thing isn't it? Like millennials aren't going to want to work unless the boss supplies flushable wipes for them and USB chargers?


Well, i obviously dont understand the nuances of a bidet, not that id find one in an apartment anywhere around here, the wipes are a middle ground between dry paper and taking a shower after every time, which is impractical... paper like usual, one wipe at the end, never felt fresher.


I mean, if you had shiat on any other part of your body would you accept it as clean after just wiping it with dry paper? Seriously, no swamp ass, no skid marks, none of this situation...


i.imgur.com
 
2014-03-03 12:48:45 AM

susansto-helit: tripleseven: RoyBatty: Fissile: In civilized countries, they have this thing you see on the left.  No "flushable" wipes needed.

I understand how integrated bidet and toilets work, I guess.

What is the protocol for using the thing on the left?

Crap, stand up, and then poop laden, waddle stage right, adjust the water temp and fountain height? (Man how long that must take on cold winter night!)

Pretty much.

The thing about bidets that confound people who have never used them is that they don't seem to understand you don't just blast the stream into your ass. It just there to wet then rinse your ass. You're supposed to wash your ass, with your hands, and soap.

Do they also come with a nail brush so you can clean the crap out from under them when you're done?


Just forget all that and use the bidet the way Southrons do.

images.huffingtonpost.com
 
2014-03-03 12:48:46 AM

susansto-helit: tripleseven: RoyBatty: Fissile: In civilized countries, they have this thing you see on the left.  No "flushable" wipes needed.

I understand how integrated bidet and toilets work, I guess.

What is the protocol for using the thing on the left?

Crap, stand up, and then poop laden, waddle stage right, adjust the water temp and fountain height? (Man how long that must take on cold winter night!)

Pretty much.

The thing about bidets that confound people who have never used them is that they don't seem to understand you don't just blast the stream into your ass. It just there to wet then rinse your ass. You're supposed to wash your ass, with your hands, and soap.

Do they also come with a nail brush so you can clean the crap out from under them when you're done?


How much shiat is on your bung after you crap? You need more fiber...
Also, you can wipe with tp before using the bidet, and I imagine most people do.
 
2014-03-03 12:51:03 AM

rebelyell2006: ArcadianRefugee: What the hell is wrong with toilet paper, you prissy little nancies?

Dry toilet paper, especially 1-ply sandpaper, can lead to chafing and bleeding, along with irritation of hemorrhoids and more bleeding. A good combination of using toilet paper first and then a flushable wipe prevents those scary moments of seeing red in the toilet. So my typical evening dump involves me wondering what food I ate to give that stench, instead of panicking because my ass is bleeding.


How hard do you wipe?

OK, nevermind.
 
2014-03-03 12:51:23 AM

zzrhardy: browntimmy: I don't know if I have just have messier poops or if our whole damn toilet/plumbing system was made for people who don't wipe properly.

After 20 years of haemorrhoids, my misshapen arsehole laughs at toilet paper. I could sit there wiping through three full rolls and still be finding new shiat filled crevices.

A bidet might do the job if it was fitted out with a Gurney Jet rather than the pathetically weak squirts they use standard.  Currently I use the Mythbusters Method... ie, let it dry for a week then use a stick of dynamite.


Dang. That made me spit my last cookie on my clean rug.

/thanks Obuma
 
2014-03-03 12:58:58 AM

MattyBlast: The damn things dry out too quickly anyway.  The first few work great, then you're left with a stack of construction paper.


I have some over a year old and still moist.

They make sealable bags now fyi.
 
2014-03-03 01:00:29 AM

Cyno01: RoyBatty: I wonder what the age distribution is on these adult flushable wipes thing. I find them much more bizarre than bidets.

They seem far too closely linked to either being a baby or being senile.

It's a millennial thing isn't it? Like millennials aren't going to want to work unless the boss supplies flushable wipes for them and USB chargers?

Well, i obviously dont understand the nuances of a bidet, not that id find one in an apartment anywhere around here, the wipes are a middle ground between dry paper and taking a shower after every time, which is impractical... paper like usual, one wipe at the end, never felt fresher.


I mean, if you had shiat on any other part of your body would you accept it as clean after just wiping it with dry paper? Seriously, no swamp ass, no skid marks, none of this situation...


[i.imgur.com image 626x697]


Well admittedly that sometimes happens. When it does, keep wiping, you'll know you're done when the end of marker, red ink starts bleeding through.

(Also, roll, don't wad.)
 
2014-03-03 01:01:17 AM

Lsherm: Fissile: In civilized countries, they have this thing you see on the left.  No "flushable" wipes needed.

[www.timticks.com image 850x614]

Spraying water up your asshole doesn't sound civilized to me.  And you still need to dry off.


And smearing your shiat around your ass with a wood-based product does?
 
2014-03-03 01:01:40 AM
Just get used to a fine layer of crap spackled up your crack like you always did.
 
2014-03-03 01:04:39 AM

Cyno01: UNC_Samurai: When Mrs. Samurai and I remodel our bathroom, we are installing a goddamn bidet. We as a species need to acknowledge that good plumbing and superior bum-cleansing technology is a necessity in the 21st century.

Ive never used a bidet, but it seems to me like the water pressure required to get things really clean down there would have ot be powerful to the point of uncomfortableness.


Ok, I'll give you that one Cyno.

Are you suggesting that TP from the Wal-Mart does the jorb sufficiently?

/20-40psi water sounds better to me
 
2014-03-03 01:04:57 AM
How large are they? They seem much cheaper than swiffer refills. Can I use them on my kitchen floor?

i.imgur.com i.imgur.com
 
2014-03-03 01:05:25 AM

Smackledorfer: MattyBlast: The damn things dry out too quickly anyway.  The first few work great, then you're left with a stack of construction paper.

I have some over a year old and still moist.

They make sealable bags now fyi.


And i dont flush them, fyi.
 
2014-03-03 01:07:34 AM

brimed03: UNC_Samurai: browntimmy: I don't know if I have just have messier poops or if our whole damn toilet/plumbing system was made for people who don't wipe properly.

Mine are more Gretzky poops than Messier poops.

Good, but think astronomy. I think he was referring to Messier Objects.


I think ure talking put your brown dwarf.
 
2014-03-03 01:09:02 AM

LtDarkstar: UNC_Samurai: When Mrs. Samurai and I remodel our bathroom, we are installing a goddamn bidet. We as a species need to acknowledge that good plumbing and superior bum-cleansing technology is a necessity in the 21st century.

THIS!

I wish I could afford the awesome Toto Japanese toilet seats that have warm spray, hot air dry, refresh the air and play music to cover the farts.  Unfortunately I'll probably end up with this one instead:

http://www.skymall.com/biffy-butler-bidet-sprayer-%2F-digital-access or y-caddy-%2F-toilet-paper-stand/BIF101.html

It's kind of a nice all-in-one unit to save space.. not sure how often I'd use the tablet holder tho.. can't imagine people wanting to use the ipad while pooping.


Guess what I wasdoing as I read you're comment.
 
2014-03-03 01:10:57 AM
I suspect this flushable wipes thing got started when soldiers in Iraq noticed that baby wipes made for great refreshment when a shower or even a wet rag couldn't be had.  Then they noticed that using baby wipes for wiping their bums also made for great refreshment.
 
2014-03-03 01:10:58 AM
OK class. Let's recap.

A bidet is for cleaning your nether regions and your junk (men and women) without necessitating a shower.
If you want to use it immediately after a doo doo, yes you can. However prior to using it after a doo doo, you'd usually wipe.

The jet is not there to blast doody out of your bung. Its the most convenient way to wet your nether regions if you're not in a shower. As a matter of fact some bidets don't have jets, they have a faucet which fills up the bidet.

The really are handy. You can keep your shower fresh feeling all day...
 
2014-03-03 01:17:43 AM

filter: Lsherm: Fissile: In civilized countries, they have this thing you see on the left.  No "flushable" wipes needed.

[www.timticks.com image 850x614]

Spraying water up your asshole doesn't sound civilized to me.  And you still need to dry off.

And smearing your shiat around your ass with a wood-based product does?


What is this smearing?  You need to sue your parents for not teaching you how to wipe properly.
 
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