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(NBC San Diego)   Next time your wife complains about her day, remind her that at least she didn't have a "man dressed in a Barbie costume holding you hostage in a Big Lots bathroom" kind of day   (nbcsandiego.com) divider line 32
    More: Scary, Big Lots, San Diego police, bathrooms  
•       •       •

5120 clicks; posted to Main » on 02 Mar 2014 at 9:11 PM (28 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



32 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2014-03-02 08:43:08 PM
I think I can fap to this...
 
2014-03-02 09:16:01 PM

xanadian: I think I can fap to this...


i2.kym-cdn.com
 
2014-03-02 09:16:16 PM
That's a mugshot I'm going to want to see.
 
2014-03-02 09:20:24 PM

xanadian: I think I can fap to this...


weknowmemes.com
 
2014-03-02 09:20:51 PM
For some reason I imagine Zippy the Pinhead wearing a pink dress.
 
2014-03-02 09:22:51 PM
Well, I'm done.
 
2014-03-02 09:22:54 PM
Sure it wasn't a meth'd up tranny?
 
2014-03-02 09:23:33 PM
A city where you can end up being held hostage by a cross-dressing Barbie in a Big Lots bathroom?

You stay classy, San Diego.

/Pic N Save sounded a lot better than Big! Lots
 
2014-03-02 09:28:49 PM
I heard this last night and he was just wearing a Barbie t-shirt. Either way, that's all kinds of farked up.
 
2014-03-02 09:35:20 PM
abcnews.go.com

I wouldn't mind if this human Barbie doll held me hostage. And did unspeakably dirty things to my body.
 
2014-03-02 09:35:24 PM
hello friends,
Last year I made the decision to trust my life on the street to Second Chance body armor. I got the level IIa because it stops the most rounds. plus I got the Trauma Plate for the front.
What scares me is that, although I can fit an extra trauma plate in the front, I cannot fit a second one in back. As of late I have taken to  duct-taping a second trauma plate to the area of my back where the heart and vital organs are located. Then I put my vest on.
Here is the questions. The ducttape solution, although tactically sound, is hot and painful to remove. I would like to go to the single-plate solution in back. What I am worried about is repeated hits to that area with .308 ammunition. I have a high-risk security job and I fear that I would be the target for repeated long-distance shots to my back.
Are any of you aware of a thicker plate that could stop, say, .338 Lapua or something like that? Is there a better way to do the second plate?
BTW, I am, of course, usually carrying a pair of ceramic plates in my briefcase so that I can shield my head. My SO (we work as a team when necessary) has a similar accessory containing a breakdown NEF single-shot 300 WinMag with an 18" bbl. The plan is that I shield us with my body and "catch the rounds" while she assembles the NEF. I lay down covering fire with my 23 (Bar-Sto .357 Sig barrel) and she makes the long shots. I will then throw smoke grenades to obscure the area while continuing to lay covering fire. The problem, of course, is when I have to turn my back to run, and then the problem crops up. I am now thinking that the best thing to do is to have my wife make an "undervest" with pouches front and rear for the additional plates. This would let me have three plates in front (probably too hot and two in back. What I'm also asking her to do is to sew in a sleeve for an ASP collapsible baton. Right now I'm taping the ASP to my right calf (the left calf is where I have my G27).It's okay for me to talk about my job, as long as I'm not specific.I am the Sergeant of a three-man Rapid Tactical Force at one of America's largest indoor retail shopping areas.[And here the myth begins"] Although there are typically between fifteen and twenty normal security officers working the beat there, we decided a while ago that it would be best to have a specilized force for violent individuals. We use modified electric vehicles and can be anywhere on a given floor within eight and a half minutes.Naturally, the regular security people are unarmed. We "RTFers", by arrangement with the local police, carry high-strength OC spray and batons. If we have a full tactical alert and permission from the local LEOs we also have a Mossberg 500 with less-lethal rounds and two K-frame Smith .38s loaded with 158gr. LRN.Basically, the situation is that we get the call, we lock up the situation, put everything five by five, and cordon the area until the local authorities arrive. We're cops, we just don't get the glory.[Somehow, I imagine the real police wouldn't agree"]I am not permitted to carry Glocks on duty; however, when my wife picks me up from work I strap on the "Deadly Duo" of a 27 and 23, each with Bar-Sto .357 bbl.I am writing a proposal to replace our current Mossberg-Smith armament with the following:
 
2014-03-02 09:43:06 PM

hardinparamedic: hello friends,
Last year I made the decision to trust my life on the street to Second Chance body armor. I got the level IIa because it stops the most rounds. plus I got the Trauma Plate for the front.
What scares me is that, although I can fit an extra trauma plate in the front, I cannot fit a second one in back. As of late I have taken to  duct-taping a second trauma plate to the area of my back where the heart and vital organs are located. Then I put my vest on.
Here is the questions. The ducttape solution, although tactically sound, is hot and painful to remove. I would like to go to the single-plate solution in back. What I am worried about is repeated hits to that area with .308 ammunition. I have a high-risk security job and I fear that I would be the target for repeated long-distance shots to my back.
Are any of you aware of a thicker plate that could stop, say, .338 Lapua or something like that? Is there a better way to do the second plate?
BTW, I am, of course, usually carrying a pair of ceramic plates in my briefcase so that I can shield my head. My SO (we work as a team when necessary) has a similar accessory containing a breakdown NEF single-shot 300 WinMag with an 18" bbl. The plan is that I shield us with my body and "catch the rounds" while she assembles the NEF. I lay down covering fire with my 23 (Bar-Sto .357 Sig barrel) and she makes the long shots. I will then throw smoke grenades to obscure the area while continuing to lay covering fire. The problem, of course, is when I have to turn my back to run, and then the problem crops up. I am now thinking that the best thing to do is to have my wife make an "undervest" with pouches front and rear for the additional plates. This would let me have three plates in front (probably too hot and two in back. What I'm also asking her to do is to sew in a sleeve for an ASP collapsible baton. Right now I'm taping the ASP to my right calf (the left calf is where I have my G27).It's okay for me to talk about my jo ...


www.a-dogz-life.com
 
2014-03-02 09:50:27 PM

Atomic Spunk: [abcnews.go.com image 478x269]

I wouldn't mind if this human Barbie doll held me hostage. And did unspeakably dirty things to my body.


Unless you literally look like Ken, she won't give you the time of day.
 
2014-03-02 09:58:48 PM

Taima: I heard this last night and he was just wearing a Barbie t-shirt. Either way, that's all kinds of farked up.


Clearly he was conveying that he had unreasonable female body expectations.
 
2014-03-02 10:00:29 PM

sharphead: Atomic Spunk: [abcnews.go.com image 478x269]

I wouldn't mind if this human Barbie doll held me hostage. And did unspeakably dirty things to my body.

Unless you literally look like Ken, she won't give you the time of day.


Calvin Trillin once overheard the following in a ToysRUs:
"Does Barbie come with Ken?"
"No. Barbie comes with G. I. Joe. She fakes it with Ken"
 
2014-03-02 10:07:53 PM
No fair.  Normally I have to pay extra for that.
 
2014-03-02 10:17:25 PM

hardinparamedic: hello friends,
Last year I made the decision to trust my life on the street to Second Chance body armor. I got the level IIa because it stops the most rounds. plus I got the Trauma Plate for the front.
What scares me is that, although I can fit an extra trauma plate in the front, I cannot fit a second one in back. As of late I have taken to  duct-taping a second trauma plate to the area of my back where the heart and vital organs are located. Then I put my vest on.
Here is the questions. The ducttape solution, although tactically sound, is hot and painful to remove. I would like to go to the single-plate solution in back. What I am worried about is repeated hits to that area with .308 ammunition. I have a high-risk security job and I fear that I would be the target for repeated long-distance shots to my back.
Are any of you aware of a thicker plate that could stop, say, .338 Lapua or something like that? Is there a better way to do the second plate?
BTW, I am, of course, usually carrying a pair of ceramic plates in my briefcase so that I can shield my head. My SO (we work as a team when necessary) has a similar accessory containing a breakdown NEF single-shot 300 WinMag with an 18" bbl. The plan is that I shield us with my body and "catch the rounds" while she assembles the NEF. I lay down covering fire with my 23 (Bar-Sto .357 Sig barrel) and she makes the long shots. I will then throw smoke grenades to obscure the area while continuing to lay covering fire. The problem, of course, is when I have to turn my back to run, and then the problem crops up. I am now thinking that the best thing to do is to have my wife make an "undervest" with pouches front and rear for the additional plates. This would let me have three plates in front (probably too hot and two in back. What I'm also asking her to do is to sew in a sleeve for an ASP collapsible baton. Right now I'm taping the ASP to my right calf (the left calf is where I have my G27).It's okay for me to talk about my job, as long as I'm not specific.I am the Sergeant of a three-man Rapid Tactical Force at one of America's largest indoor retail shopping areas.[And here the myth begins"] Although there are typically between fifteen and twenty normal security officers working the beat there, we decided a while ago that it would be best to have a specilized force for violent individuals. We use modified electric vehicles and can be anywhere on a given floor within eight and a half minutes.Naturally, the regular security people are unarmed. We "RTFers", by arrangement with the local police, carry high-strength OC spray and batons. If we have a full tactical alert and permission from the local LEOs we also have a Mossberg 500 with less-lethal rounds and two K-frame Smith .38s loaded with 158gr. LRN.Basically, the situation is that we get the call, we lock up the situation, put everything five by five, and cordon the area until the local authorities arrive. We're cops, we just don't get the glory.[Somehow, I imagine the real police wouldn't agree"]I am not permitted to carry Glocks on duty; however, when my wife picks me up from work I strap on the "Deadly Duo" of a 27 and 23, each with Bar-Sto .357 bbl.I am writing a proposal to replace our current Mossberg-Smith armament with the following:


LOLWUT
 
2014-03-02 10:19:57 PM
Suspect Dressed as Barbie Accused of Sex Assault Attempt

WTF?

The woman was using a Big Lots bathroom...

Nothing to see here. 

Some stores have security cameras because they have high dollar merchandise and theft is a temptation.
Some stores have security cameras because crazy poors shop there.
I studied it way out.
 
2014-03-02 10:49:48 PM

hardinparamedic: Are any of you aware of a thicker plate that could stop, say, .338 Lapua or something like that? Is there a better way to do the second plate?
BTW, I am, of course, usually carrying a pair of ceramic plates in my briefcase so that I can shield my head. My SO (we work as a team when necessary) has a similar accessory containing a breakdown NEF single-shot 300 WinMag with an 18" bbl. The plan is that I shield us with my body and "catch the rounds" while she assembles the NEF. I lay down covering fire with my 23 (Bar-Sto .357 Sig barrel) and she makes the long shots. I will then throw smoke grenades to obscure the area while continuing to lay covering fire. The problem, of course, is when I have to turn my back to run, and then the problem crops up.


If you haven't trained to run just as fast backwards as you can forwards then you are a shamefully negligent agent that should have every piece of hardware stripped from you and be thrown to the public sector with no recommendation.  You make me sic.
 
2014-03-02 10:50:04 PM

hardinparamedic: hello friends,
Last year I made the decision to trust my life on the street to Second Chance body armor. I got the level IIa because it stops the most rounds. plus I got the Trauma Plate for the front.
What scares me is that, although I can fit an extra trauma plate in the front, I cannot fit a second one in back. As of late I have taken to  duct-taping a second trauma plate to the area of my back where the heart and vital organs are located. Then I put my vest on.
Here is the questions. The ducttape solution, although tactically sound, is hot and painful to remove. I would like to go to the single-plate solution in back. What I am worried about is repeated hits to that area with .308 ammunition. I have a high-risk security job and I fear that I would be the target for repeated long-distance shots to my back.
Are any of you aware of a thicker plate that could stop, say, .338 Lapua or something like that? Is there a better way to do the second plate?
BTW, I am, of course, usually carrying a pair of ceramic plates in my briefcase so that I can shield my head. My SO (we work as a team when necessary) has a similar accessory containing a breakdown NEF single-shot 300 WinMag with an 18" bbl. The plan is that I shield us with my body and "catch the rounds" while she assembles the NEF. I lay down covering fire with my 23 (Bar-Sto .357 Sig barrel) and she makes the long shots. I will then throw smoke grenades to obscure the area while continuing to lay covering fire. The problem, of course, is when I have to turn my back to run, and then the problem crops up. I am now thinking that the best thing to do is to have my wife make an "undervest" with pouches front and rear for the additional plates. This would let me have three plates in front (probably too hot and two in back. What I'm also asking her to do is to sew in a sleeve for an ASP collapsible baton. Right now I'm taping the ASP to my right calf (the left calf is where I have my G27).It's okay for me to talk about my jo ...


and so began the TSA...
 
2014-03-02 11:29:39 PM

trappedspirit: hardinparamedic: Are any of you aware of a thicker plate that could stop, say, .338 Lapua or something like that? Is there a better way to do the second plate?
BTW, I am, of course, usually carrying a pair of ceramic plates in my briefcase so that I can shield my head. My SO (we work as a team when necessary) has a similar accessory containing a breakdown NEF single-shot 300 WinMag with an 18" bbl. The plan is that I shield us with my body and "catch the rounds" while she assembles the NEF. I lay down covering fire with my 23 (Bar-Sto .357 Sig barrel) and she makes the long shots. I will then throw smoke grenades to obscure the area while continuing to lay covering fire. The problem, of course, is when I have to turn my back to run, and then the problem crops up.

If you haven't trained to run just as fast backwards as you can forwards then you are a shamefully negligent agent that should have every piece of hardware stripped from you and be thrown to the public sector with no recommendation.  You make me sic.


I totally want to see him run with all that stuff taped to his body. And while shielding his head with two extra ceramic plates and continuing to pop smoke so his lady can lay down suppressive fire.
 
2014-03-02 11:31:38 PM

Gyrfalcon: I totally want to see him run with all that stuff taped to his body. And while shielding his head with two extra ceramic plates and continuing to pop smoke so his lady can lay down suppressive fire.


Would you like to know more?
 
2014-03-02 11:38:18 PM

Atomic Spunk: [abcnews.go.com image 478x269]

I wouldn't mind if this human Barbie doll held me hostage. And did unspeakably dirty things to my body.


I'd be worried she'd try to remove some of my ribs.
 
2014-03-02 11:43:12 PM

hardinparamedic: Gyrfalcon: I totally want to see him run with all that stuff taped to his body. And while shielding his head with two extra ceramic plates and continuing to pop smoke so his lady can lay down suppressive fire.

Would you like to know more?


I was wondering where in the vast reaches of the internet that came from, but was too lazy to quote search (whoa, that is lazy). I had hoped it was your fiction.
 
2014-03-02 11:43:38 PM

hardinparamedic: Gyrfalcon: I totally want to see him run with all that stuff taped to his body. And while shielding his head with two extra ceramic plates and continuing to pop smoke so his lady can lay down suppressive fire.

Would you like to know more?


WHAT
THE
F*CK!??!?!??!?

IS THAT?!??!?
 
2014-03-02 11:47:34 PM

Gyrfalcon: hardinparamedic: Gyrfalcon: I totally want to see him run with all that stuff taped to his body. And while shielding his head with two extra ceramic plates and continuing to pop smoke so his lady can lay down suppressive fire.

Would you like to know more?

WHAT
THE
F*CK!??!?!??!?

IS THAT?!??!?


Mother of god! I think I just broke a rib laughing.
Oh my dear lord.....
 
2014-03-03 12:05:15 AM
It's always fun to see new people introduced to the glory that is Geko45 :D
 
2014-03-03 12:08:47 AM
Came here for the Aqua song.  You folks are slipping.
 
2014-03-03 12:10:13 AM

hardinparamedic: hello friends,
Last year I made the decision to trust my life on the street to Second Chance body armor. I got the level IIa because it stops the most rounds. plus I got the Trauma Plate for the front.
What scares me is that, although I can fit an extra trauma plate in the front, I cannot fit a second one in back. As of late I have taken to  duct-taping a second trauma plate to the area of my back where the heart and vital organs are located. Then I put my vest on.
Here is the questions. The ducttape solution, although tactically sound, is hot and painful to remove. I would like to go to the single-plate solution in back. What I am worried about is repeated hits to that area with .308 ammunition. I have a high-risk security job and I fear that I would be the target for repeated long-distance shots to my back.
Are any of you aware of a thicker plate that could stop, say, .338 Lapua or something like that? Is there a better way to do the second plate?
BTW, I am, of course, usually carrying a pair of ceramic plates in my briefcase so that I can shield my head. My SO (we work as a team when necessary) has a similar accessory containing a breakdown NEF single-shot 300 WinMag with an 18" bbl. The plan is that I shield us with my body and "catch the rounds" while she assembles the NEF. I lay down covering fire with my 23 (Bar-Sto .357 Sig barrel) and she makes the long shots. I will then throw smoke grenades to obscure the area while continuing to lay covering fire. The problem, of course, is when I have to turn my back to run, and then the problem crops up. I am now thinking that the best thing to do is to have my wife make an "undervest" with pouches front and rear for the additional plates. This would let me have three plates in front (probably too hot and two in back. What I'm also asking her to do is to sew in a sleeve for an ASP collapsible baton. Right now I'm taping the ASP to my right calf (the left calf is where I have my G27).It's okay for me to talk about my jo ...


I have only done this once.
 
2014-03-03 12:51:53 AM

Pariah.: It's always fun to see new people introduced to the glory that is Geko45 :D


It was....magnificent.
 
2014-03-03 02:47:42 AM
May the Schwartz be with you.
 
2014-03-03 03:32:31 AM
Maybe she was! Maybe she had an even worse day with a crybaby hostage that couldn't follow her clear instructions despite pointing a pistol and yelling at the man that looked quite a bit like her husband!

Never assume you had the worse day.
 
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