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(Daily Star)   Most people have no idea what it takes to be a Secret Agent Man, it involves a little more than just "shaken and stirred"   (dailystar.co.uk) divider line 45
    More: Interesting, Secret Agent Man, information transfer, London's West End, Leicester Square, Jason Bourne  
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5234 clicks; posted to Main » on 02 Mar 2014 at 11:35 AM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



45 Comments   (+0 »)
   
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2014-03-02 09:32:56 AM  
Yeah? Well try being me.

Shaken, stirred, and something else I can't mention, because I'm still in therapy over it.
 
2014-03-02 09:58:06 AM  
img1.wikia.nocookie.net

There's a man who leads a life of danger.
 
2014-03-02 11:40:30 AM  
We are then introduced to Dave Thomas, possibly the coolest man I've ever met.

www.entrepreneur.com
 
2014-03-02 11:45:07 AM  
Secret agents?  That crew looks like they'd need a map to find their way out of the bathroom.
 
2014-03-02 11:46:22 AM  
Yeah, but odds are he won't live to see tomorrow

/Joke not even slightly obscure
 
2014-03-02 11:46:40 AM  
What's so difficult?  They give you a number, and take away your name.  Easy.
 
2014-03-02 11:47:32 AM  

Therion: [img1.wikia.nocookie.net image 850x478]

There's a man who leads a life of danger.

You could say he lives in a danger...

 
2014-03-02 11:52:34 AM  
What about being a Secret Asian Man?
 
2014-03-02 11:53:11 AM  

Dr Jack Badofsky: What's so difficult?  They give you a number, and take away your name.  Easy.


I could do the swinging on the Riviera one day, but not lying in a Bombay alley the next day.

I hate overnight flights.
 
2014-03-02 11:56:30 AM  
timeglassjournal.files.wordpress.com

/unimpressed
 
2014-03-02 11:57:06 AM  

Bondith: Dr Jack Badofsky: What's so difficult?  They give you a number, and take away your name.  Easy.

I could do the swinging on the Riviera one day, but not lying in a Bombay alley the next day.

I hate overnight flights.


Try kissing persuasive lips and then -- oops, wrong word.

/'Semprini' isn't the safe word
 
2014-03-02 12:01:22 PM  
Everything I've ever learned about being a secret agent is from Burn Notice voiceovers.
 
2014-03-02 12:01:33 PM  
Glamorous? I think this has the right of it:
http://www.viruscomix.com/page529.html
 
2014-03-02 12:01:51 PM  
It's simple, you just have to be SECRET.  So low-key no one even notices you because you look like a boring regular guy and sound kind of dull.  The further details tend to show up on Burn Notice, except for the part about the job being mostly boring as hell.  Like staking out a place working some crap janitor job for 12 months hoping some guy will show up and then finding out he was buried in an unmarked grave in Kosovo 2 years ago.
 
2014-03-02 12:03:05 PM  
Frowns on these shenanigans.
www.dvdtalk.com
 
2014-03-02 12:04:34 PM  
Think that's hard? Try being a secret Asian man. The amount of effort it takes to keep my eyes looking round on a daily basis is astounding.

Not to mention having to pretend I have a large penis.
 
2014-03-02 12:04:40 PM  

SecretAgentWoman: Yeah? Well try being me.

Shaken, stirred, and something else I can't mention, because I'm still in therapy over it.


Came to see you .

/Leaving satisfied
 
2014-03-02 12:17:31 PM  
Here's an old school spy training video...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YOy-Md0-toY
 
2014-03-02 12:20:21 PM  

zimbomba63: Secret agents?  That crew looks like they'd need a map to find their way out of the bathroom.


It's a game.
 
2014-03-02 12:23:13 PM  
Don't ask where the fillings are.
 
2014-03-02 12:24:26 PM  
My name is Michael Westen, I used to be a spy...
 
2014-03-02 12:25:05 PM  
Hi guys (and SecretAgentWoman)--what's going on in this thread?
i273.photobucket.com
 
2014-03-02 12:27:13 PM  

Bith Set Me Up: What about being a Secret Asian Man?


I was almost thirty when I realized what that song really was...
 
2014-03-02 12:31:55 PM  
Though Archer has been covered,

www.geekalerts.com
 
2014-03-02 12:36:41 PM  
"Shaken, not stirred"
Sigh.
The things I have to teach subby...
 
2014-03-02 12:43:37 PM  
For actual spies I assume the rule is:

If you get found out as a spy, you are dead or worse. (No actual person can do what action movie heroes do).

So, be as inconspicuous as possible. (don't be an overdressed, pompous dufus telling everyone your real name)

You're better off looking like a doughy, middle aged harmless guy.

Martial arts won't help you.
 
2014-03-02 12:51:11 PM  
The International Spy Museum in DC is pretty fascinating.
 
2014-03-02 12:56:33 PM  

hitlersbrain: For actual spies I assume the rule is:

If you get found out as a spy, you are dead or worse. (No actual person can do what action movie heroes do).

So, be as inconspicuous as possible. (don't be an overdressed, pompous dufus telling everyone your real name)

You're better off looking like a doughy, middle aged harmless guy.

Martial arts won't help you.


If you get found out, you are relegated to a desk job and/or an ID change depending on what level you were (if the subject you were spying on doesnt kill you).

Be inconspicuous, yes.

Middle aged and unassuming, probably.  Harmless and doughy, no.  Agents must be in decent shape and many are former special operations guys.

Martial arts helps.  It also keeps you from being doughy.
 
2014-03-02 12:58:56 PM  

hitlersbrain: For actual spies I assume the rule is:

If you get found out as a spy, you are dead or worse. (No actual person can do what action movie heroes do).

So, be as inconspicuous as possible. (don't be an overdressed, pompous dufus telling everyone your real name)

You're better off looking like a doughy, middle aged harmless guy.

Martial arts won't help you.


James Bond was not a spy, he was a Commando
 
2014-03-02 01:03:32 PM  

DemoKnite: hitlersbrain: For actual spies I assume the rule is:

If you get found out as a spy, you are dead or worse. (No actual person can do what action movie heroes do).

So, be as inconspicuous as possible. (don't be an overdressed, pompous dufus telling everyone your real name)

You're better off looking like a doughy, middle aged harmless guy.

Martial arts won't help you.

If you get found out, you are relegated to a desk job and/or an ID change depending on what level you were (if the subject you were spying on doesnt kill you).

Be inconspicuous, yes.

Middle aged and unassuming, probably.  Harmless and doughy, no.  Agents must be in decent shape and many are former special operations guys.

Martial arts helps.  It also keeps you from being doughy.


If the guys who find you out are civilized enough to NOT kill you and/or torture you for info but simply hand you over to your bosses, then why would you need to be a martial artist? And who are you spying on, the Girl Scouts?
 
2014-03-02 01:10:56 PM  

noitsnot: zimbomba63: Secret agents?  That crew looks like they'd need a map to find their way out of the bathroom.

It's a game.


Kind of figured that out by myself, since they've plastered their faces all over the internet.
 
2014-03-02 01:16:03 PM  

Dr Jack Badofsky: What's so difficult?  They give you a number, and take away your name.  Easy.


Sure your name is gone, but, you get a Lotus Super Seven, so there's that.  Great TV show.

/ In the Army, a "number" was another name for a "joint", back in the 70's.
 
2014-03-02 02:14:17 PM  

Plant Rights Activist: We are then introduced to Dave Thomas, possibly the coolest man I've ever met.


Dave's not here, man!
 
2014-03-02 02:26:03 PM  

hitlersbrain: For actual spies I assume the rule is:

If you get found out as a spy, you are dead or worse. (No actual person can do what action movie heroes do).

So, be as inconspicuous as possible. (don't be an overdressed, pompous dufus telling everyone your real name)

You're better off looking like a doughy, middle aged harmless guy.

Martial arts won't help you.


Real spies look like people in Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy, not Casino Royale.
 
2014-03-02 02:48:11 PM  
artforum.com

R.I.P. Secret Agent Man :(
 
2014-03-02 03:06:38 PM  

Private_Citizen: Glamorous? I think this has the right of it:
http://www.viruscomix.com/page529.html


Came here to post that. Glad to see it's been covered.
 
2014-03-02 03:07:31 PM  
How can we forget Mexico's favorite secret agent men?

www.moviecritic.com.au

encrypted-tbn0.gstatic.com
 
2014-03-02 04:06:45 PM  

Bith Set Me Up: What about being a Secret Asian Man?


Speaking of Secret Asian Man...
 
2014-03-02 04:11:50 PM  

albatros183: hitlersbrain: You're better off looking like a doughy, middle aged harmless guy.

Martial arts won't help you.

James Bond was not a spy, he was a Commando


I thought he was an operative, like Kate Archer.

static.tvtropes.org

The original Archer.
 
2014-03-02 04:13:31 PM  

ciberido: albatros183: hitlersbrain: You're better off looking like a doughy, middle aged harmless guy.

Martial arts won't help you.

James Bond was not a spy, he was a Commando

I thought he was an operative, like Kate Archer.


Cate Archer.  Damnit.
 
2014-03-02 08:38:55 PM  
According to the article and caption under this photo, the man is Dave Thomas, "Dave was in the SAS and operated during the height of the Cold War in Berlin." Well the height of the 'cold war' was 52 years ago! I'm taking into account that he might look young for his age, so he is in his 60's? Was he an SAS agent at 13 or 14? I call BS!


images.dailystar-uk.co.uk
 
2014-03-02 09:57:54 PM  

bratface: According to the article and caption under this photo, the man is Dave Thomas, "Dave was in the SAS and operated during the height of the Cold War in Berlin." Well the height of the 'cold war' was 52 years ago! I'm taking into account that he might look young for his age, so he is in his 60's? Was he an SAS agent at 13 or 14? I call BS!


[images.dailystar-uk.co.uk image 620x413]


The Cold War was still pretty damn cold right up til the mid 80s. I understand you're using the Cuban missile crisis as the height but it carried on long after that.
 
2014-03-02 10:01:59 PM  
img.fark.net

Will always be my Secret Agent Man.


/had the greatest theme song too
 
2014-03-03 01:35:52 AM  
For those interested in the subject, "Blowing My Cover" is an interesting memoir.  There was an interesting anecdote about someone meeting for a fake id drop in a church... during Christmas midnight mass.  The other agent, not the author, set the time and place but couldn't get much info across without church-goers shushing them.

/Michael Weston wouldn't have set up a drop like that
 
2014-03-03 07:51:35 AM  
www.secretasianman.com
 
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