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(Daily Mail)   Woman in her 60s discovers men in their 20s will hump anything   (dailymail.co.uk) divider line 87
    More: Obvious, hip-huggers, matriarchs  
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19592 clicks; posted to Main » on 02 Mar 2014 at 7:20 AM (28 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



87 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2014-03-02 07:22:32 AM
Well duh.
 
Rat
2014-03-02 07:24:42 AM
Does she have a pension?  Railroad pension to be exact.

©
 
2014-03-02 07:25:55 AM

Rat: Does she have a pension?  Railroad pension to be exact.

©


My wife does.. Cause I'm a railroader.

Mmmm, double retirement checks
 
2014-03-02 07:32:09 AM
She be wrong.

I would hump anything in my 30s, not my 20s.

I was too dumb to realize when girls were interested in the 20s and was too shy to ask.
 
2014-03-02 07:35:37 AM

Gentoolive: Well duh.


This.

I'm almost 58, and have a single friend the same age who is sooo sure those young guys at some events we go to are really "into her". Tried to tell her "remove the "t" and the "o" for a reality check.

*rolls eyes*
 
2014-03-02 07:37:27 AM
That article made me feel 13ish and with a copy of Penthouse, turned to the Forum section.
 
2014-03-02 07:39:16 AM
Not bad for 60
 
2014-03-02 07:49:14 AM
www.movingimage.us
 
2014-03-02 07:50:45 AM
"Monica said she would pack uncomplicated enjoyment in as much as she could"
 
2014-03-02 07:50:54 AM
It does help that most women over 40 know how to slob the knob and don't just simply 'submit'
 
2014-03-02 07:51:34 AM
Someone had to knock the cobwebs out of it
 
2014-03-02 07:55:49 AM

mrswood: "Monica said she would pack uncomplicated enjoyment in as much as she could"


So... she calls penises "uncomplicated enjoyment"?

That's an odd name.
 
2014-03-02 07:56:00 AM
I'm gonna be 39 soon, and I'd hit it.
 
2014-03-02 07:58:00 AM

FirstNationalBastard: mrswood: "Monica said she would pack uncomplicated enjoyment in as much as she could"

So... she calls penises "uncomplicated enjoyment"?

That's an odd name.


I call mine Mr. happy, but different strokes for different folks.

Or would that be the other way around?
 
2014-03-02 08:05:25 AM
img.fark.net

Well hello Mrs Robinson
 
2014-03-02 08:11:04 AM
Woman in her 60s discovers some men in their 20s will hump anything.

Edited for accuracy
 
2014-03-02 08:17:29 AM
img.fark.net
 
2014-03-02 08:18:35 AM
If it was a ~really~ slow night in my 20's, sure.

/really, reallyslow.
//Had a great 20's.
 
2014-03-02 08:20:06 AM
Note that the Headline said "with no strings attached", well as the Brits would say, that should be "Bloody Obvious!".
 
2014-03-02 08:20:11 AM

TheHighlandHowler: Woman in her 60s discovers some men in their 20s will hump anything  A stiff dick has no conscience

Edited for accuracy


Redit for accuracy
 
2014-03-02 08:23:26 AM
"The previous week I had written an article about my favourite poet, Edgar Allan Poe, centring on his most famous poem, The Raven. And so it was that I adopted the username 'Raven'."

Roughly translated:  I couldn't name three other poets without google at my fingertips.  I couldn't even name three other poems by Poe if you were holding a gun to my children's' heads.  I just wanted to be cool like those girls with all the black make-up and the sparkly vampires.

Not that any of this actually happened.
 
2014-03-02 08:27:52 AM
 What is up with the UK!?!?.  Yesterday, we get the report of a chunky 5-headed "smoking hot" (NOT) redhead nymphomaniac who has slept with 300 men.  And today we get the 60 year old sleeping with people the age of her grandchildren (well not really but close enough).  I guess the question I have to ask is this:

Are men in the UK really that desperate these days?

If you are, perhaps we should hold a fundraiser for the men in the UK and import a shipload of eastern european hotties.
 
2014-03-02 08:30:46 AM
Sure. What the hell?
 
433 [TotalFark]
2014-03-02 08:31:25 AM

Omnis_evil_twin: "The previous week I had written an article about my favourite poet, Edgar Allan Poe, centring on his most famous poem, The Raven. And so it was that I adopted the username 'Raven'."

Roughly translated:  I couldn't name three other poets without google at my fingertips.  I couldn't even name three other poems by Poe if you were holding a gun to my children's' heads.  I just wanted to be cool like those girls with all the black make-up and the sparkly vampires.

Not that any of this actually happened.


Tis some stranger entreating at my chamber door?  This it is, and nothing more?

If she's legit with that Raven claim, that's pretty witty.
 
2014-03-02 08:31:45 AM

bump: It does help that most women over 40 know how to slob the knob and don't just simply 'submit'


Heyoo!
 
2014-03-02 08:39:13 AM

wichitaleaf: bump: It does help that most women over 40 know how to slob the knob and don't just simply 'submit'

Heyoo!


The worst BJ I ever had was still damn good
 
2014-03-02 08:40:06 AM
She's got nice legs.
 
2014-03-02 08:45:44 AM
I'd hit it, but then I'm 60.
 
2014-03-02 08:46:45 AM
I'd hit it. I've always liked women ~15 years older than me.

/that is going to start getting gross in the next few years isn't it?
 
2014-03-02 08:47:29 AM
I'd hit it, but then I'm 70.
 
2014-03-02 08:52:57 AM
How about nope nope nope nope nope nope and hell no.
 
2014-03-02 08:58:58 AM
More fiction from the Fail. Seriously- can anyone believe this?
 
2014-03-02 09:02:38 AM
I'm not really concerned about age.  Yes, I care about how a woman looks.  I'm shallow that way.  And she ain't got the look.  So, no. Hit it, I would not.
 
2014-03-02 09:04:29 AM
If I can catch it, I can put my dick in it.

/Mid 20s
 
2014-03-02 09:08:25 AM

scruffynerfherder: Not bad for 60


She's as hittable as that "smokin' hot" redhead from yesterday.
 
2014-03-02 09:08:31 AM
Monica Porter, 61, from London, slept with 15 men in a year

Since the conceit of this particular piece of imaginative fiction from the Mail is that all her partners were 20-somethings involved in internet dating, all of the people she'd slept would have (if the story weren't wholly imagined) beaten that number by a factor of ten easily.

I mean, 150 sexual partners a year comes out to like 3 a week... something that almost any reasonably healthy 20-something person  could manage if they really wanted in the information age.  The lesson of your 20s is that you don't really want to do that, because it's not worth the effort and there's no real prestige in having slept with a lot of people, but it's certainly possible if that's what you're trying for and you don't lose a bunch of time to the flu or whatever.
 
2014-03-02 09:08:48 AM
Wow, 'Woman finds sex partners'. That's almost as amazing as 'drunk falls off log'. Marking my calendar.
 
2014-03-02 09:11:33 AM
You all believe this story is legit and she is proudly bragging to the media?

Not saying there isn't something to these sorts of romances, but that really isn't the point.
 
2014-03-02 09:20:37 AM
You can say whatever you want behind a monitor.  When she's out there in front of you ready to go, it's another story.

I'm 42.  Went camping with a group of friends.  Woman friend of a friend in the group; somewhat good looking.  Didn't think there was anything there.  Till we all got drunk and she climbed into my sleeping bag.  No discussion or anything.  Rocked her hard for the entire weekend.  Lasted a good few months after that until we went our separate ways.  No strings attached.  Phone call here or there for the booty call.  She was 60.  Took good care of herself so it was plenty fun.

Another one - fitness trainer in her youth.  Bought a nice set of tits.  Good looking.  Still working on this one.  65.

When she's directly in front of you, giving you The Look... all this internet posturing goes away.
 
2014-03-02 09:21:10 AM
You can find people online to have sex with?! Unpossible!
 
2014-03-02 09:28:04 AM
Beer goggles
 
2014-03-02 09:32:22 AM
Alternate headline:

Men in their 20's find old whore.
 
2014-03-02 09:50:04 AM

socoloco: Alternate headline:

Men in their 20's find old whore.


Such a sweet talker you are.
 
2014-03-02 09:50:14 AM

ZzeusS: You can say whatever you want behind a monitor.  When she's out there in front of you ready to go, it's another story.

I'm 42.  Went camping with a group of friends.  Woman friend of a friend in the group; somewhat good looking.  Didn't think there was anything there.  Till we all got drunk and she climbed into my sleeping bag.  No discussion or anything.  Rocked her hard for the entire weekend.  Lasted a good few months after that until we went our separate ways.  No strings attached.  Phone call here or there for the booty call.  She was 60.  Took good care of herself so it was plenty fun.

Another one - fitness trainer in her youth.  Bought a nice set of tits.  Good looking.  Still working on this one.  65.

When she's directly in front of you, giving you The Look... all this internet posturing goes away.


This.
 
2014-03-02 09:55:35 AM
Would hit now, would have hit in my 20's.  Currently 40
 
2014-03-02 10:07:51 AM
Well, that is one of the hottest 60 year olds I've ever seen (she looks like a cuter version of Sally Field)...

Sure, why not?
 
2014-03-02 10:10:17 AM
Just about any woman can go in any bar, state that she wants to get laid and WILL get a tacker...

Even if the "takers" meet her outside so not to show their shame depending on how ugly or fat or old she'd be.

Nothing new here, nothing special.
 
2014-03-02 10:10:24 AM

ZzeusS: You can say whatever you want behind a monitor.  When she's out there in front of you ready to go, it's another story.

I'm 42.  Went camping with a group of friends.  Woman friend of a friend in the group; somewhat good looking.  Didn't think there was anything there.  Till we all got drunk and she climbed into my sleeping bag.  No discussion or anything.  Rocked her hard for the entire weekend.  Lasted a good few months after that until we went our separate ways.  No strings attached.  Phone call here or there for the booty call.  She was 60.  Took good care of herself so it was plenty fun.

Another one - fitness trainer in her youth.   Bought a nice set of tits.  Good looking.  Still working on this one.  65.

When she's directly in front of you, giving you The Look... all this internet posturing goes away.


Yeah....all this posturing is for nothing.  Anything with a pulse, right?
 
2014-03-02 10:10:52 AM
tackers = takers... shessss.. can't spell today.
 
2014-03-02 10:17:25 AM
How many Rhode Islands is that?
 
2014-03-02 10:23:11 AM
In the evening gown photo, her teeth look pretty good, you know, all there and not twisted at strange angles.  That may be a real erotic turn on, in the UK.
 
2014-03-02 10:27:52 AM

imfallen_angel: tackers = takers... shessss.. can't spell today.


That's just your subconscious RAPE CULTURE coming through!
 
2014-03-02 10:28:09 AM
60s? Pfft, amateur.

www.biography.com
 
2014-03-02 10:43:58 AM
I am 30 and would hit that like the fist of an angry god
 
2014-03-02 10:47:21 AM

filter: You all believe this story is legit and she is proudly bragging to the media?

Not saying there isn't something to these sorts of romances, but that really isn't the point.


Well, she's not "proudly bragging to the media", she IS the media, she wrote the article.  Given what I know about people and their varied sexual preferences, it's not hard to believe that she had no trouble at all whatsoever getting 15 younger guys in a year to play with her.  And given that reporters have no shame, it's not hard to believe she wrote about her reality.

And she's cute enough, I suppose.  But that's at my age, and I'm quite a bit past my 20s.  Now, her at 20...  she was quite the hottie.
 
2014-03-02 11:01:56 AM
upload.wikimedia.org
New in town, sailor?
 
2014-03-02 11:04:40 AM

scruffynerfherder: Not bad for 60


True.
Then again, no.
 
2014-03-02 11:08:21 AM
Ughhh. The smell.
 
2014-03-02 11:13:54 AM
Problem is, every woman has a different way of giving "The Look." Since men aren't mind readers, they can only assume that any kind of eye contact is "The Look" and act accordingly, which to a woman who isn't actually giving them "The Look" means they're all sex-crazed pigs.

/the only exceptions are the guys she actually was giving "The Look" to
//those are her "soul mates"
///1. be handsome 2. be attractive 3. don't be unattractive
 
2014-03-02 11:18:59 AM
Lets hope she not spreading the gift that keeps giving.....with that many guys.
 
2014-03-02 12:17:46 PM

Magnus: ZzeusS: You can say whatever you want behind a monitor.  When she's out there in front of you ready to go, it's another story.

I'm 42.  Went camping with a group of friends.  Woman friend of a friend in the group; somewhat good looking.  Didn't think there was anything there.  Till we all got drunk and she climbed into my sleeping bag.  No discussion or anything.  Rocked her hard for the entire weekend.  Lasted a good few months after that until we went our separate ways.  No strings attached.  Phone call here or there for the booty call.  She was 60.  Took good care of herself so it was plenty fun.

Another one - fitness trainer in her youth.   Bought a nice set of tits.  Good looking.  Still working on this one.  65.

When she's directly in front of you, giving you The Look... all this internet posturing goes away.

Yeah....all this posturing is for nothing.  Anything with a pulse, right?



I didn't say anything.  I'm saying the No Way Ever Ewww Monitor Hide crowd would change their tune when circumstances arise in a face to face meeting.
 
2014-03-02 12:23:40 PM

ZzeusS: I didn't say anything. I'm saying the No Way Ever Ewww Monitor Hide crowd would change their tune when circumstances arise in a face to face meeting.


I get frequent offers that I politely reject.  Some people actually have self control, standards, or some other reason to not have sex simply because someone of what ever looks and condition - but who was simply the correct (for whatever that means) gender - offered.
 
2014-03-02 12:52:13 PM

DarkVader: filter: You all believe this story is legit and she is proudly bragging to the media?

Not saying there isn't something to these sorts of romances, but that really isn't the point.

Well, she's not "proudly bragging to the media", she IS the media, she wrote the article.  Given what I know about people and their varied sexual preferences, it's not hard to believe that she had no trouble at all whatsoever getting 15 younger guys in a year to play with her.  And given that reporters have no shame, it's not hard to believe she wrote about her reality.

And she's cute enough, I suppose.  But that's at my age, and I'm quite a bit past my 20s.  Now, her at 20...  she was quite the hottie.


Ok- writing ( promoting ) a book, at least.

'NEWS
FORTHCOMING BOOK
Watch this space for news about Monica's latest book, released shortly by Thistle Publishing. Raven: My Year of Dating Dangerously is the explosive memoir of her online dating escapades as an older woman. Unlike anything ever written before.'


That last sentence.....
 
2014-03-02 01:00:20 PM
Sally Field is 68. By the time I'd be done with her my face would look like a glazed donut.
 
2014-03-02 01:01:11 PM
I'm gonna go with NOPENOPENOPENOPE.

Not even sharp knees, just not attracted. That black dress looks awful - grandma arms mean grandma thighs.
 
2014-03-02 01:12:33 PM
She must have a different definition of "irresistible" than I do.

/would not even when drunk
 
2014-03-02 01:13:19 PM
Dat Boniva!
 
2014-03-02 01:13:56 PM
img189.imageshack.us
 
2014-03-02 01:28:07 PM

slayer199: Are men in the UK really that desperate these days?


No, The Daily Fail is really desperate these days. News flash, many women like to have sex, and the bell curve has two tails.
 
2014-03-02 01:44:13 PM

Crewmannumber6: Sally Field is 68. By the time I'd be done with her my face would look like a glazed donut.


That's....disturbing.  And that's coming from me.
 
2014-03-02 01:47:56 PM

Crewmannumber6: Sally Field is 68. By the time I'd be done with her my face would look like a glazed donut.


dude.
 
2014-03-02 02:25:00 PM

bump: It does help that most women over 40 know how to slob the knob and don't just simply 'submit'


"Slob the nob"? Is that the best you can do?  If so my good sir, (or madam) you have missed a great deal.

There is a sensuality and style about it that every woman should learn and practice.  ;)
 
2014-03-02 02:28:27 PM
jehy.ru

I've seen older women that I'd hit, but that ain't one of 'em!
Not even in my early 20s or even teens.  EW.
 
2014-03-02 02:31:02 PM

Crewmannumber6: Sally Field is 68. By the time I'd be done with her my face would look like a glazed donut.


Careful giving yourself facials, you'll shoot your eye out
 
2014-03-02 02:54:51 PM

Crewmannumber6: Sally Field is 68. By the time I'd be done with her my face would look like a glazed donut.


no, no it wouldn't.  PMS means that the lady in the article needs to use KY, a lot.  She should probably invest in stock.  Yes, the drive is still there, but the internal lubrication machine is iffy.

/it is fun when you can make a born again Xtian take the Lord's name in vain, "Oh God, right there, oh God, YES! ... OH JEE-SUS .... Forgive me father ... Oh God..."
//older women also know what they want, and the path to get there, so not so much blind yanking, pulling and such
///a decade up or down is the most I'll go; making jokes that a significant other doesn't get because she's too young gets old quick.
 
2014-03-02 02:57:23 PM

slayer199: If you are, perhaps we should hold a fundraiser for the men in the UK and import a shipload of eastern european hotties.


I think the Russian Mafia might have you beat on that one.
 
2014-03-02 03:07:46 PM
Not one Ben Franklin mention?  I am disappoint.

...in all your Amours you should prefer old Women to young ones. You call this a Paradox, and demand my Reasons. They are these:

1. Because as they have more Knowledge of the World and their Minds are better stored with Observations, their Conversation is more improving and more lastingly agreeable.

2. Because when Women cease to be handsome, they study to be good. To maintain their Influence over Men, they supply the Diminution of Beauty by an Augmentation of Utility. They learn to do a 1000 Services small and great, and are the most tender and useful of all Friends when you are sick. Thus they continue amiable. And hence there is hardly such a thing to be found as an old Woman who is not a good Woman.

3. Because there is no hazard of Children, which irregularly produced may be attended with much Inconvenience.

4. Because thro' more Experience, they are more prudent and discreet in conducting an Intrigue to prevent Suspicion. The Commerce with them is therefore safer with regard to your Reputation. And with regard to theirs, if the Affair should happen to be known, considerate People might be rather inclin'd to excuse an old Woman who would kindly take care of a young Man, form his Manners by her good Counsels, and prevent his ruining his Health and Fortune among mercenary Prostitutes.

5. Because in every Animal that walks upright, the Deficiency of the Fluids that fill the Muscles appears first in the highest Part: The Face first grows lank and wrinkled; then the Neck; then the Breast and Arms; the lower Parts continuing to the last as plump as ever: So that covering all above with a Basket, and regarding2 only what is below the Girdle, it is impossible of two Women to know an old from a young one. And as in the dark all Cats are grey, the Pleasure of corporal Enjoyment with an old Woman is at least equal, and frequently superior, every Knack being by Practice capable of Improvement.

6. Because the Sin is less. The debauching a Virgin may be her Ruin, and make her for Life unhappy.

7. Because the Compunction is less. The having made a young Girl miserable may give you frequent bitter Reflections; none of which can attend the making an old Woman happy.

8thly and Lastly They are so grateful!!
 
2014-03-02 03:22:25 PM

RockofAges: Magnus: ZzeusS: You can say whatever you want behind a monitor.  When she's out there in front of you ready to go, it's another story.

I'm 42.  Went camping with a group of friends.  Woman friend of a friend in the group; somewhat good looking.  Didn't think there was anything there.  Till we all got drunk and she climbed into my sleeping bag.  No discussion or anything.  Rocked her hard for the entire weekend.  Lasted a good few months after that until we went our separate ways.  No strings attached.  Phone call here or there for the booty call.  She was 60.  Took good care of herself so it was plenty fun.

Another one - fitness trainer in her youth.   Bought a nice set of tits.  Good looking.  Still working on this one.  65.

When she's directly in front of you, giving you The Look... all this internet posturing goes away.

Yeah....all this posturing is for nothing.  Anything with a pulse, right?

I'm 30 and I wouldn't hit it. BUT I do agree with this guy, there is a lot of posturing and most men will hit most anything. It's called being a red blooded man. She's just too old for me. 45 or a reallllly well kept 50 would be my line.


It's called being a horny man who thinks that older women are desperate pushovers.

/over 50
//gets approached by dudes in their 30s who erroneously think that I'm easy
///I'm not. Stop looking at my saggy boobs.
 
2014-03-02 03:42:13 PM

jackandwater: bump: It does help that most women over 40 know how to slob the knob and don't just simply 'submit'

"Slob the nob"? Is that the best you can do?  If so my good sir, (or madam) you have missed a great deal.

There is a sensuality and style about it that every woman should learn and practice.  ;)


Go on....

/nevermind, Fark is not my personal erotica site
 
2014-03-02 04:37:13 PM
gee, there's hope for me yet.
58 and looks it.
not too much of a biatch, kinda sorta LOL
 
2014-03-02 04:37:49 PM
In my 20s, I would screw pretty much any woman.  Fat, old, bald.  My hormones were raging, if I was between girlfriends pretty much anything went.  Now, 20 year later, well let's just say I've been married for 17 years and sex is not as important as it used to be.  So if I were on the market again, I would be MUCH more selective.
 
2014-03-02 04:56:28 PM
there was this one broad that used to come to all my old band's shows. i knew she was clearly older than me (i was like ... 33 at the time?) but wasn't sure how much. italian babe, kinda had a monica bellucci thing about her and had this hot grey streak in her otherwise black hair. i dug it.

wound up hitting it a few times and man, some of the best sex ever.

we've remained pretty good friends after the fact. just recently she posted on FB something like "turning 60 is great!"

first time i had any idea how old she actually is.

/csb
//would hit again
 
2014-03-02 05:43:19 PM
s3.amazonaws.com
 
2014-03-02 07:37:39 PM

IamAwake: ZzeusS: I didn't say anything. I'm saying the No Way Ever Ewww Monitor Hide crowd would change their tune when circumstances arise in a face to face meeting.

I get frequent offers that I politely reject.  Some people actually have self control, standards, or some other reason to not have sex simply because someone of what ever looks and condition - but who was simply the correct (for whatever that means) gender - offered.


Oh thank (insert deity of choice) there is someone who is not merely a life-support unit for a penis out there.

It's a very weird sort of bragging to boast about how all you want from life is to stick your dick in anything and everything that isn't actually nailed and glued shut. We get it. You are obsessed with having sex and anything at all will do. Saying "I'd hit it" when anything vaguely female shows up doesn't make you an interesting and attractive person.

But then again that type doesn't care, the best thing that could ever happen to them is if a genie could magically transform them into a vibrator.
 
2014-03-02 10:46:20 PM
Man, she must be having sex with some real losers.  She looks very droopy.  On the other hand, if I was in a bar and had a case of beer and a pint of Uncle Jack, she would probably look pretty good.  Albeit, not the next morning.
 
2014-03-02 11:04:35 PM

BlackMtnMan: I'd hit it, but then I'm 60.


Your story checks out.

img.fark.net
 
2014-03-03 01:44:11 AM

Snarcoleptic_Hoosier: If I can catch it, I can put my dick in it.

/Mid 20s


I bet you're hell on knotholes in trees!
 
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