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(New York Daily News)   Woman arrested for felony assault after stabbing teddy bear. Radar inconsolable   (nydailynews.com) divider line 37
    More: Misc, kitchen knife  
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2807 clicks; posted to Main » on 01 Mar 2014 at 12:41 AM (43 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



37 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2014-02-28 11:37:04 PM  
Obviously, she hated crippled children with CB Radios...

manifoldrecords.com

Anyway, FTFA:

She then went after the teddy bear with a kitchen knife. She also bit him, punched him and kicked him in the groin. He pushed her into the bathroom and called police.

I don't know what the Teddy Bear did to inspire such anger, but I'm glad he still had the strength to push her into the bathroom.
 
2014-02-28 11:48:59 PM  
If the bear was Teddy Ruxpin, I can sympathize.  That bear needs to shut the fark up.
 
2014-03-01 12:12:08 AM  

RodneyToady: If the bear was Teddy Ruxpin, I can sympathize.  That bear needs to shut the fark up.


Yep.

This farking thing is evil.

foolishlysmart.com
 
2014-03-01 12:36:31 AM  
assets.nydailynews.com

STUFFING FOR THE STUFFING GODS!
 
2014-03-01 12:44:29 AM  
Well, as long as it wasn't Dancing Bear. He does all the stabbin'.
 
2014-03-01 12:49:00 AM  

img3.wikia.nocookie.net


R.I.P. Huggy Bear

 
2014-03-01 12:56:26 AM  
Elvis unavailable for comment
 
2014-03-01 12:56:59 AM  
 
2014-03-01 01:03:20 AM  
Is Eddy stabbing his bear with a switch blade pen again?

cinenthusiast.files.wordpress.com

/ whats an "unt" ?
 
2014-03-01 01:03:28 AM  
Now that was a wonderfully deceptive headline.

"She also bit him, punched him and kicked him in the groin,"

So yes, she was in fact arrested after stabbing the teddy bear but not because of stabbing the teddy bear.

Is the legal job market so bad that lawyers are moonlighting writing headlines?
 
2014-03-01 01:05:15 AM  
www.bestcareanywhere.net

was it just a bad dream?
 
M-G
2014-03-01 01:07:26 AM  
Amazing that there's a good stock photo for this story.
 
2014-03-01 01:14:25 AM  
Assault is often confused with battery, assault is the threat, battery is carrying it out.
 
2014-03-01 01:16:17 AM  
img.fark.net

Ted does not approve
 
2014-03-01 01:18:32 AM  

M-G: Amazing that there's a good stock photo for this story.


I think it's similar to rule 34, only in this case 'There is a stock photo of it. No exceptions.'
 
2014-03-01 01:21:50 AM  
Good thing they didn't tell her to keep that chicken quiet
 
2014-03-01 01:25:26 AM  
Do not stick your dick in CRAZY
 
2014-03-01 01:25:28 AM  

www.tasteofcinema.com

WAT

 
2014-03-01 01:26:40 AM  
www.metro.us

So the commercial was a lie? Looks like Vermont Teddy owes that guy a refund.
 
2014-03-01 01:28:25 AM  
assets.nydailynews.com

She was much more sympathetic in Despereaux
images.mefeedia.com
 
2014-03-01 01:38:10 AM  

FirstNationalBastard: Obviously, she hated crippled children with CB Radios...

[manifoldrecords.com image 320x317]

Anyway, FTFA:

She then went after the teddy bear with a kitchen knife. She also bit him, punched him and kicked him in the groin. He pushed her into the bathroom and called police.

I don't know what the Teddy Bear did to inspire such anger, but I'm glad he still had the strength to push her into the bathroom.


Com'on back truckers and talk to Teddy Bear
 
2014-03-01 01:46:40 AM  

whatshisname: Good thing they didn't tell her to keep that chicken quiet


That scarred me for life :-\
 
2014-03-01 02:35:38 AM  

whatshisname: Good thing they didn't tell her to keep that chicken quiet


You son of a  biatch, why did you make me remember that?
 
2014-03-01 02:45:14 AM  
:'(
 
2014-03-01 03:31:39 AM  
encrypted-tbn3.gstatic.com

Unavailable for question...
 
2014-03-01 04:14:45 AM  
31.media.tumblr.com
 
2014-03-01 06:27:11 AM  

Norad: whatshisname: Good thing they didn't tell her to keep that chicken quiet

You son of a  biatch, why did you make me remember that?


img.fark.net
 
2014-03-01 07:13:44 AM  
True she didn't STAB her boyfriend but Aggravated Assault with a Deadly Weapon only requires that she  uses or exhibits a deadly weapon during the commission of the assault. She punched, kicked and bit her boyfriend then she used a knife to stab the doll and said "I wish this was you."  That sounds like both "uses" and "exhibits" to me.  The threat is clear and you'd be a fool to ignore it.  So its a second degree felony.  It would have been a first degree if she had managed to actually stab him and cause a serious bodily injury.
 
2014-03-01 07:19:22 AM  

LewDux: [31.media.tumblr.com image 500x291]


Is that... Is that Aphex Twin?
 
2014-03-01 07:51:58 AM  

Dahnkster: She was much more sympathetic in Despereaux


Trivia fact:
Her grandfather played the part of the old man in the movie "Up!"

Look at her picture again and tell me I'm wrong.
 
2014-03-01 08:12:22 AM  
Sounds like she corrupted ursa minor
 
2014-03-01 08:38:29 AM  
She sounds psychotic. But the guy sounds like a pos, match made in hell.
 
2014-03-01 09:11:30 AM  

TheWhoppah: True she didn't STAB her boyfriend but Aggravated Assault with a Deadly Weapon only requires that she  uses or exhibits a deadly weapon during the commission of the assault. She punched, kicked and bit her boyfriend then she used a knife to stab the doll and said "I wish this was you."  That sounds like both "uses" and "exhibits" to me.  The threat is clear and you'd be a fool to ignore it.  So its a second degree felony.  It would have been a first degree if she had managed to actually stab him and cause a serious bodily injury.


Yeah, but he's completely unharmed, and he has the chance to walk away from this woman. I'm sure that everything can be resolved with a stern warning. To make any more of this, is nanny-statism, and a gross infringement on the principle of free speech.
 
2014-03-01 10:44:46 AM  
Tales from the Dark side obscure :(
 
2014-03-01 05:00:18 PM  

FuzedBox: LewDux: [31.media.tumblr.com image 500x291]

Is that... Is that Aphex Twin?


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9_-99eBBhFc&hd=1
 
2014-03-01 05:57:08 PM  

LewDux: FuzedBox: LewDux: [31.media.tumblr.com image 500x291]

Is that... Is that Aphex Twin?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9_-99eBBhFc&hd=1


RDJ isn't quite so creepy in real life.
 
2014-03-01 06:59:50 PM  

FirstNationalBastard: Obviously, she hated crippled children with CB Radios...

[manifoldrecords.com image 320x317]

Anyway, FTFA:

She then went after the teddy bear with a kitchen knife. She also bit him, punched him and kicked him in the groin. He pushed her into the bathroom and called police.

I don't know what the Teddy Bear did to inspire such anger, but I'm glad he still had the strength to push her into the bathroom.


Done in one.
 
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