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(Huffington Post)   Eleven of the worst types of people you get stuck behind in line at the grocery store   (huffingtonpost.com) divider line 283
    More: Obvious, ideal type, HuffPost Taste, express lanes  
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14045 clicks; posted to Main » on 01 Mar 2014 at 12:30 AM (43 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



283 Comments   (+0 »)
   
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2014-02-28 07:51:39 PM  
1. Old people who want to tell stories.
2. Old people who want to socialize with the cashier.
3. Cheap strange middle aged women with unnatural hair who want to be told the price of something three items ago, and then only after the tally has been made, wants to ask about more prices, tries to use an expired coupon, and only then finally decides to reach for her purse to dig through it before finally paying.
4. People who make their own clothing.
5. An alcoholic in the last 90 seconds before 11 pm when alcohol sales end.
6. Talkative vegans.
7. The wanna-be environmentalist who wants to leave all packaging at the store and tell everyone about it during the process.
8. The new dieter.
9. Cash number one because even the simplest transactions are disrupted by the smokers and people who can't figure out how to use the empty container machine.
10. You.
 
2014-02-28 09:26:30 PM  
The person with 40 items in the express lane.

That should be grounds for justifiable homicide.
 
2014-02-28 09:33:43 PM  
Old people at the self checkout who seem to have trouble comprehending why they can't pay by check.
 
2014-02-28 09:42:03 PM  
Angry women with expired coupons trying to buy skrimps.
 
2014-02-28 09:47:55 PM  

gaslight: and only then finally decides to reach for her purse to dig through it before finally paying.


The one that makes me stabby - people who don't realize they can start filling out their check in advance except for the price, which they'll find out about the time they fill in everything else on the check.  They just stand there and watch the clerk the whole time.
 
2014-02-28 09:53:34 PM  
People who write checks
People who write checks at the last minute
People who will just stand there if you don't have a bagger and do nothing
People who will stand at the end making you think they're going to bag their own groceries and when you send them down their way, they do nothing
People who refuse to go to self checkout when there's a line
People who ask why aren't there more lanes open it's when it's 9pm and you're the only lane open along with self checkout
People who get more than $60 cash back, sometimes wiping out your cash drawer
 
2014-02-28 09:54:14 PM  

gaslight: 1. Old people who want to tell stories.
2. Old people who want to socialize with the cashier.
3. Cheap strange middle aged women with unnatural hair who want to be told the price of something three items ago, and then only after the tally has been made, wants to ask about more prices, tries to use an expired coupon, and only then finally decides to reach for her purse to dig through it before finally paying.
4. People who make their own clothing.
5. An alcoholic in the last 90 seconds before 11 pm when alcohol sales end.
6. Talkative vegans.
7. The wanna-be environmentalist who wants to leave all packaging at the store and tell everyone about it during the process.
8. The new dieter.
9. Cash number one because even the simplest transactions are disrupted by the smokers and people who can't figure out how to use the empty container machine.
10. You.


11. People who wait until everything is totaled up, then start writing the check
 
2014-02-28 09:58:59 PM  

fusillade762: The person with 40 items in the express lane.

That should be grounds for justifiable homicide.


My Publix supermarket has a 20 item express lane.

If the express is clear...a manager will wave you over to the express lane if there's a big line at the normal lines. It makes me uncomfortable and I feel I have to turn around and say "The manager told me to get in this line", to the person that shows up behind me.
 
2014-02-28 10:19:21 PM  
Being behind a food stamps recipient who invariably try to use them for items they're not allowed to use them and who proceeds to get lippy with the cashier over the matter is a real hoot.
 
2014-02-28 10:35:07 PM  
People that will count out $0.64 in pennies and nickels to get the change out of her purse.
 
2014-02-28 10:45:38 PM  
So, my mom, then.
 
2014-02-28 10:54:02 PM  
First world problems. The worst people to get stuck in line with at the store are armed robbers.
 
2014-02-28 10:57:02 PM  

Peaceboy: gaslight: and only then finally decides to reach for her purse to dig through it before finally paying.

The one that makes me stabby - people who don't realize they can start filling out their check in advance except for the price, which they'll find out about the time they fill in everything else on the check.  They just stand there and watch the clerk the whole time.


Really, anyone paying by check at all.  I'd support a grocery store that had a 'we do not accept checks' policy.
 
2014-02-28 11:04:14 PM  
addendum to the above: those who finally figure out that after waiting in line for ten minutes, getting checked out and their food bagged, that they might have to actually start to find their visa card.
 
2014-02-28 11:11:45 PM  
People who want you to match an ad from three towns over

People who do nothing but complain about how much better it was(selection or price) where they used to live

People who can't understand that just because they saw an ad for something in a nationally distributed magazine our on the internet it doesn't mean we will have it
 
2014-02-28 11:47:03 PM  

dustman81: gaslight: 1. Old people who want to tell stories.
2. Old people who want to socialize with the cashier.
3. Cheap strange middle aged women with unnatural hair who want to be told the price of something three items ago, and then only after the tally has been made, wants to ask about more prices, tries to use an expired coupon, and only then finally decides to reach for her purse to dig through it before finally paying.
4. People who make their own clothing.
5. An alcoholic in the last 90 seconds before 11 pm when alcohol sales end.
6. Talkative vegans.
7. The wanna-be environmentalist who wants to leave all packaging at the store and tell everyone about it during the process.
8. The new dieter.
9. Cash number one because even the simplest transactions are disrupted by the smokers and people who can't figure out how to use the empty container machine.
10. You.

11. People who wait until everything is totaled up, then start writing the check


12. People who return 10 expired items from previous trips off 10 separate receipts along with the groceries they are purchasing at that time (10% of which will be returned after they aren't consumed and expire)
 
2014-02-28 11:53:03 PM  

Cup Check: dustman81: gaslight: 1. Old people who want to tell stories.
2. Old people who want to socialize with the cashier.
3. Cheap strange middle aged women with unnatural hair who want to be told the price of something three items ago, and then only after the tally has been made, wants to ask about more prices, tries to use an expired coupon, and only then finally decides to reach for her purse to dig through it before finally paying.
4. People who make their own clothing.
5. An alcoholic in the last 90 seconds before 11 pm when alcohol sales end.
6. Talkative vegans.
7. The wanna-be environmentalist who wants to leave all packaging at the store and tell everyone about it during the process.
8. The new dieter.
9. Cash number one because even the simplest transactions are disrupted by the smokers and people who can't figure out how to use the empty container machine.
10. You.

11. People who wait until everything is totaled up, then start writing the check

12. People who return 10 expired items from previous trips off 10 separate receipts along with the groceries they are purchasing at that time (10% of which will be returned after they aren't consumed and expire)


How does that even work, I would think you would look at the date on the receipt and if it was before the expiration date they would be out of luck
 
2014-03-01 12:12:45 AM  
Meh, life is inconvenient.  You'll get over it.

/some day, you will be the person who holds up the line
//so chill
 
2014-03-01 12:17:36 AM  
Crafting the perfect signature? The hell?  Who still signs credit card slips?  You can't even pay by cheque in most places.
 
2014-03-01 12:31:48 AM  

Prey4reign: Being behind a food stamps recipient who invariably try to use them for items they're not allowed to use them and who proceeds to get lippy with the cashier over the matter is a real hoot.


That hasn't happened to you for 5 or 10 years.

Do you know how I know that?
 
2014-03-01 12:32:45 AM  
People with WIC vouchers in the express lane.
 
2014-03-01 12:35:09 AM  
Haha any one else notice the link claiming all women over 50 should try bisexualism?
 
2014-03-01 12:36:29 AM  
"the person who should have gone through the express lane"

why the hell is this a problem?
If I have 3 items, and a regular lane is shorter... i'm taking the regular lane.
would you feel better if I had a completely full cart and I was in front of you?
 
2014-03-01 12:38:49 AM  
CSB:

A few weeks ago my little water jug that I can keep spare change in got full, so I went down to cash it in at the coinstar machine at my local Publix... and there was an old lady in front me with a coffee can full of spare change that she dumped in the machine, only after he dumped it in, the machine stopped working. She called a manager over who was able to open it up, and it turns out it was a coffee can full of BUTTONS that she dumped in.

Needless to say I went to another store to cash my change in.
 
2014-03-01 12:39:18 AM  
The person who thinks she can cut you in line because she has an adorable child.

Yeah, I hate those axe murderers with cute kids at the grocery store.
 
2014-03-01 12:39:34 AM  

texdent: People who write checks


This.

/What's the date today?
 
2014-03-01 12:39:42 AM  
#1 Your mom
 
2014-03-01 12:39:55 AM  
Suspiciously absent: People who pay by check for Raisinets. Also absent: People who pay by credit card for a bag of cheese doodles. No human should be paying the bank eighteen per cent interest for that.

I get stabby in checkout lines when people start asking questions. "Oh, and I need cigarettes...but I don't know what kind. What kind do you like? Do you smoke a lot? I know it's bad for my health, but it makes me look cool. Don't you think I'd look cool with a cigarette in my hand? Do you have lung cancer? You know you can get lung cancer from a cigarette. My friend Marcy just chews that gum stuff, but I don't think it's safe. Is that nicotine gum safe? How much is that? Oh that's a little expensive, huh? Do you mind if I pay in pennies?"

And that, your honor, is when I shot her.

/None of this is my original work
//Modified from previous bits done by better comics than me
 
2014-03-01 12:40:01 AM  
Old people
Obvious welfare people
Obvious recent immigrants

Old people because they're slow
Welfare because they want to argue that their welfare card can't be out of money
Immigrants because the concept of how to be in a grocery store was never explained to them
 
2014-03-01 12:42:07 AM  

gaslight: 1. Old people who want to tell stories.
2. Old people who want to socialize with the cashier.
3. Cheap strange middle aged women with unnatural hair who want to be told the price of something three items ago, and then only after the tally has been made, wants to ask about more prices, tries to use an expired coupon, and only then finally decides to reach for her purse to dig through it before finally paying.
4. People who make their own clothing.
5. An alcoholic in the last 90 seconds before 11 pm when alcohol sales end.
6. Talkative vegans.
7. The wanna-be environmentalist who wants to leave all packaging at the store and tell everyone about it during the process.
8. The new dieter.
9. Cash number one because even the simplest transactions are disrupted by the smokers and people who can't figure out how to use the empty container machine.
10. You.


I would add old people that think they are whispering.
 
2014-03-01 12:43:41 AM  

maram500: People who pay by credit card for a bag of cheese doodles. No human should be paying the bank eighteen per cent interest for that.


some of us pay our cards off every month and use them for the awards points.
I use my cards for pretty much everything and rarely carry a balance from one month into the next.
as a result, I get a lot of free stuff with my bonus points.
 
2014-03-01 12:44:48 AM  
http://news.google.com/newspapers?nid=861&dat=20020414&id=d0RTAAAAIBA J &sjid=j4UDAAAAIBAJ&pg=5594,3191226

Just don't go through the 12 items or less lane with 13 items.

/when did huffpo turn into buzzfeed?
 
2014-03-01 12:46:03 AM  

The_Original_Roxtar: "the person who should have gone through the express lane"

why the hell is this a problem?
If I have 3 items, and a regular lane is shorter... i'm taking the regular lane.
would you feel better if I had a completely full cart and I was in front of you?


Often people will do this because they are being inattentive. I've seen empty express lines and had people with three items cut me off to get in the regular line. I have considered saying something (because the express line would be faster for them), but assume it would be rude. It's worst if the person is writing checks or is otherwise slow, but *shrug* I always survive. No one buying a million groceries is on a strict time table.

Anyway, everyone should be more attentive and more considerate in public. :/
 
2014-03-01 12:47:49 AM  
My pet peeve? Grocery Store Witches!

ak.c.ooyala.com
 
2014-03-01 12:48:04 AM  
coupon people. getting duped into buying shiat they don't want since 1923.
 
2014-03-01 12:48:31 AM  
12. People who will always find some reason or another get really angry when they wait in line at the checkout.

That being said, the fruits and vegetables entry bothers me because that person hasn't done anything wrong.  Every other entry is about people wasting other people's time, which definitely has the potential to be annoying.  The person who buys fruits and vegetables is free to buy whatever they want at the supermarket, just like everyone else.
 
2014-03-01 12:48:52 AM  
I remember the summer I worked checkout at a grocery store, I loved working the express line.
The other people looked at me like I was crazy for it, but since they hated it, they had no problem with me doing it.
 
2014-03-01 12:48:53 AM  
John Pinette-like typing detected.

/getouttatheline
 
2014-03-01 12:49:21 AM  

Prey4reign: Being behind a food stamps recipient who invariably try to use them for items they're not allowed to use them and who proceeds to get lippy with the cashier over the matter is a real hoot.


HUR HUR! People on food stamps R teh moochurz!

upload.wikimedia.org
 
2014-03-01 12:49:35 AM  
My signature is a work of art. You can wait an extra 3 seconds while I finish it.
 
2014-03-01 12:50:29 AM  

Sid_6.7: People with WIC vouchers in the express lane.


It's sure getting Teabaggy in here.
 
2014-03-01 12:52:11 AM  

Prey4reign: Being behind a food stamps recipient who invariably try to use them for items they're not allowed to use them and who proceeds to get lippy with the cashier over the matter is a real hoot.


The SNAP people aren't such a big deal because the register will just automatically approve/disapprove whatever it is and there's no squabble.  The problem comes with the WIC people who have the paper vouchers and can only buy certain very specific items.  THEY are the ones who argue about whether or not they can buy Cinnamon Life instead of regular Life cereal (they can't) and how many freakin free cans of baby formula they are entitled to.
 
2014-03-01 12:54:21 AM  
Stores with 20 checkout lines but only 1 open and a line of 20 people waiting.
 
2014-03-01 12:56:41 AM  
biatch, biatch, biatch.

Goddamned spoiled babies.
 
2014-03-01 12:56:49 AM  
gaslight:
6. Talkative vegans.

Incoming CSB.

So I was at Whole Foods several weeks ago and I got stuck in line behind two talkative vegans. Boy did I learn a lot! It seems that these vegans did not like the word "vegan" because that was "vegist" (vee-gist) (the actual word they used and the way they pronounced it) which by their arrogant tone I took to mean like sexist only far far worse. The reason they do not like the word "vegan" is because it implies that meat eating is normal and the people who murder plants are the different ones. These vegans took umbrage at being different. So rather than accept this horrible vegist state of affairs they refused to call themselves anything at all (not even vegan) and kept talking about the "carnatarian crowd". (Get it? carne=meat +tarian.) How witty of them (dripping sarcasm).
 
2014-03-01 12:57:37 AM  
Grocery stores in my area have started doing coupon matching recently. Last time I was in line some dumb biatch handed the cashier a bundle of crumpled fliers and told her to check through them all for coupons. What's worse is the cashier attempted to do it.
 
2014-03-01 12:58:37 AM  

TV's Vinnie: Sid_6.7: People with WIC vouchers in the express lane.

It's sure getting Teabaggy in here.


Nope, has nothing to do with politics, race, or class. It has entirely to do with the fact that the person is using a method of payment that often has additional bureaucratic layers involved that makes the transaction inherently slower than a cash/credit transaction. I'd feel the same way about some nutbag libertarian paying with his bitcoins (if that was a thing).
 
2014-03-01 12:58:49 AM  
I hate self check out. The local Home Depot usually has one or two cashiers and a section of self check out lanes. The problem is that large items rarely scan in self check out so they have a cashier stationed there to take care of problems. This person ends up running around like a madman trying to check prices, help old folks and explain to the drunk day laborer why he can't run a sheet of drywall under the scanner. The only one to benefit is Home Depot, who get four cashiers for the price of one. I refuse to use them for anything but the smallest purchases.
 
2014-03-01 01:00:05 AM  

TuteTibiImperes: Peaceboy: gaslight: and only then finally decides to reach for her purse to dig through it before finally paying.

The one that makes me stabby - people who don't realize they can start filling out their check in advance except for the price, which they'll find out about the time they fill in everything else on the check.  They just stand there and watch the clerk the whole time.

Really, anyone paying by check at all.  I'd support a grocery store that had a 'we do not accept checks' policy.


I can't fathom why checks exist at all in this day and age....use your card or use your cash.
 
2014-03-01 01:00:54 AM  

CipollinaFan: My signature is a work of art. You can wait an extra 3 seconds while I finish it.


I have a friend who "signs" his name with a drawing of a pig. I've used the Starfleet emblem once or twice, just for shiats and giggles.
 
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