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(Special Broadcasting Service)   Ukraine: Hey there NATO. Say, you guys remember that wacky treaty we signed in 1994 where you promised to defend us if we were attacked in exchange for us giving up our nukes? Yeah, funny thing, never thought we actually need that, but   (sbs.com.au ) divider line
    More: Scary, NATO, Ukraine, interim leader, Viktor Yanukovych, Russian forces  
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15790 clicks; posted to Main » on 28 Feb 2014 at 1:50 PM (2 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



Voting Results (Funniest)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

2014-02-28 02:22:54 PM  
8 votes:
Hi Ukraine.  We've transferred the management of that treaty to Best Buy.  We'll transfer you to a rep.

BBRep: Hello?  How can I help you?
Ukraine:  We have a treaty that says you'll come to our defense.
BBRep: Hello?  How can I help you?
Ukraine:  I said we have a treaty that needs enforced.
BBRep:  You can use words like "Help" or "Agent"
Ukraine:  Help I need an agent.
BBRep:  Thank you.  Transferring...  Billing and Contracts.  How can I help you?
Ukraine:  We have a treaty with Nato for common defense...
BBRep:  Oh sorry.  I only handle billing questions.  I don't know how you got this number.  I'll transfer you to Treaty Fullfillment.  One moment please.  No.  That's not the right one.  Glenda.  What number is treat full fill?  I got another moron that can't dial a .... Oh (Click)
BBRep:  Treat Full Fillment.  this is Dave.  How can I help  you?
Ukraine:  Finally!  I have a treaty with NATO to provide common defense.  We've got Russians on our border.  I need help now!
BBRep:  Yes, sir.  We'll have a carrier group sent right away.  I just need your Treaty Verification Number.  It's on your treaty.
Ukraine:  I have a Treaty Number and a Verification Number.  Which one do you want?
BBRep:  I need the Treaty Verification Number.  It's a 16 digit number.  Should be on your treaty.
Ukraine:  Can it start with a "T"?  I have one of those.
BBRep:  No.  That's a Treaty Authorization Code.  It should be a sixteen digit number. All numbers.
Ukraine:  I don't see that.
BBRep:  Well, I'll start processing the request to NATO anyways.  But we'll need that number.  I'll give you a 1-800 number that you can call when you find that number.  Would you be interested in an upgrade to your current treaty, Ukraine?
Ukraine:  Nyet!
BBRep:  No problem, Ukraine.  Is there anything else I can do for you today?
Ukraine:  Nyet.
BBRep:  Are you ready for that 1800 number Ukraine?
Ukraine:  Nyet.
BBRep:  Well, when  you are, you can call me back at any time.  Our desk services are from 11 AM to 1130 AM Central Swazitime and 3420 to 4260 Universal Metric Time.  Can I help you with anything else?
Ukraine:  Da!  Does Poland have same treaty vit NATO?  Just asking, da?
2014-02-28 02:03:30 PM  
5 votes:
Pooty-poot will visit the front lines
russianreport.files.wordpress.com
2014-02-28 12:51:45 PM  
5 votes:
Defend? That's a typo. We probably meant defund. Give us a few weeks to review the conference notes, and access to all your banking information.
2014-02-28 03:15:27 PM  
4 votes:
We would be taking this treaty a lot more seriously if this was happening on the White Sea. Typical.
2014-02-28 01:59:06 PM  
4 votes:

Magorn: netizencain: DamnYankees: Seems like it'd be pretty easy for us to sit this out on the basis that this is basically a civil war.

Civil war until the Russians cross the border

which they did yesterday in military helicopters

and the "People mIlitia of Crimea" the so called "ordinary people" who seized Crimea's Airports yesterday?

they all just happened to be dressed exactly alike in the latest Russian Military-issued full battle kit:
[cdn.theatlantic.com image 675x474]


Plus, Honda apparently sent at least one of their soldiers which is pretty unnerving.
2014-02-28 01:15:18 PM  
4 votes:
Well, boys, I reckon this is it - nuclear combat toe to toe with the Roosskies
2014-02-28 02:19:00 PM  
3 votes:
Let me help by putting this in Europa Universalis 4 terms.  Russia still has core claims on several Ukrainian provinces that still have the Russian culture. This causes 9.5% increased local revolt risk. Although Ukraine and NATO do not have a formal alliance yet, NATO has warned Russia, which will call them to war should Russia attack any neighbors. So for the moment, Russia isn't declaring open war, but has chosen to maintain a diplomat in Ukraine to fund revolts. However that diplomat has been discovered, and although progress continues, Russia has accrued 15 Aggressive Expansion points and is dangerously close to triggering a Coalition. Meanwhile the local rebels have managed to finish siegeing the province of Crimea and are close to enforcing their separatist demands.
2014-02-28 02:06:40 PM  
3 votes:
Everyone from Serbia to Ukraine should put "Inciting World Wars" as a skill on their LinkedIn.
2014-02-28 02:15:39 PM  
2 votes:

The Beatings Will Continue Until Morale Improves: Let's ask Georgia how that worked out.


houseofgeekery.files.wordpress.com
2014-02-28 02:07:27 PM  
2 votes:

Publikwerks: [i.imgur.com image 800x495]


I'd piss on a sparkplug if I thought it would do any good
2014-02-28 02:05:31 PM  
2 votes:
Might as well play this in the streets.

upload.wikimedia.org

/This game nearly killed my chances to go to college
2014-02-28 01:56:09 PM  
2 votes:
i.imgur.com
2014-02-28 01:55:56 PM  
2 votes:
img.fark.net
2014-02-28 01:55:50 PM  
2 votes:
We'll at least Harold Ramis can save them!

www.morethings.com
2014-02-28 07:46:47 PM  
1 vote:

Almost Everybody Poops: No greenlit thread about this yet?


Seems news-flash worthy


Fark has to let the TFers dissect the situation and discuss important issues such as what they had for dinner, if they like SlightlyLessPortlyTfettes Halloween costume, and which one of each other they would definitely hook up with.

http://www.washingtonpost.com/politics/obama-tells-medvedev-solution -o n-missile-defense-is-unlikely-before-elections/2012/03/26/gIQASoblbS_s tory.html

Maybe this is just a staged for television event.
2014-02-28 04:58:45 PM  
1 vote:

BravadoGT: uber humper: Anyone want to take odds on Obama's position?

Well, given his position on Georgia, Iran and Syria--I'm gonna say nothing more than a strongly-worded statement issued from the 7th hole.


Gay marriage.  That's what he will say
2014-02-28 04:56:20 PM  
1 vote:

uber humper: Anyone want to take odds on Obama's position?


Well, given his position on Georgia, Iran and Syria--I'm gonna say nothing more than a strongly-worded statement issued from the 7th hole.
2014-02-28 04:00:35 PM  
1 vote:

wm734: fireclown: Marcellinus: fireclown: MylesHeartVodak: And somebody shut down all of our A-10s because we were never going to need tankbusters again.

Hagerstown Maryland checking in: You want more A-10s, we'll be happy to start building 'em again.   Just show up at Town Hall with a purchase order.

Sorry, but you've been diverted to building crappy outlet malls.

It's not like we're HAPPY about that.

Cumberland Maryland checking in: We have nothing to offer...


Silver Spring here - You can have one unfinished transit center.  We give you good deal.
2014-02-28 03:38:11 PM  
1 vote:

LewDux: The Beatings Will Continue Until Morale Improves: Let's ask Georgia how that worked out.

Georgia had nukes?


No, something scarier...Newt.
2014-02-28 03:06:42 PM  
1 vote:
Is this a landwar in Asia?

www.slowmuse.com
2014-02-28 03:06:02 PM  
1 vote:
Crimea river.
2014-02-28 02:56:45 PM  
1 vote:
i.imgur.com
2014-02-28 02:32:36 PM  
1 vote:

unlikely: Wow, that's kind of a pickle. On the one hand, no WAY we'll get involved in that. On the other hand, that's it for credibility in treaties...


americangallery.files.wordpress.com

Uhhh....
2014-02-28 02:21:03 PM  
1 vote:

bidness: Let me help by putting this in Europa Universalis 4 terms.  Russia still has core claims on several Ukrainian provinces that still have the Russian culture. This causes 9.5% increased local revolt risk. Although Ukraine and NATO do not have a formal alliance yet, NATO has warned Russia, which will call them to war should Russia attack any neighbors. So for the moment, Russia isn't declaring open war, but has chosen to maintain a diplomat in Ukraine to fund revolts. However that diplomat has been discovered, and although progress continues, Russia has accrued 15 Aggressive Expansion points and is dangerously close to triggering a Coalition. Meanwhile the local rebels have managed to finish siegeing the province of Crimea and are close to enforcing their separatist demands.


You.  I like you.
2014-02-28 02:19:06 PM  
1 vote:

Coconice: The scary part was seeing Biden making commentary in a link below the article.

I did not click the link to see what it said or if it was legit.

Just the threat of Biden shooting off his mouth qualifies for a [Holy shiat] tag.


It was support for the formation of the new government, not necessarily military support. Plus, Biden's greatest strength is his foreign affairs experience from his time in the Senate, so this is one of those areas where you'd expect him to step up.
2014-02-28 02:18:55 PM  
1 vote:

Odoriferous Queef: Voiceofreason01: There are reports that Russian tanks are rolling into Crimea, which makes this a very different situation.

[citation needed]

/I can't find anything about this on the net


You better believe it because its on the net now. Fark is on the net and thats where you found it.


/oh yea, its the internet!
2014-02-28 02:14:58 PM  
1 vote:

The Beatings Will Continue Until Morale Improves: Pooty-poot will visit the front lines


Must be nice to be a major world leader, and get to do that stuff for free. I usually have to pay extra if I want to ride bare-back.
2014-02-28 02:10:35 PM  
1 vote:

Makh: Everyone from Serbia to Ukraine should put "Inciting World Wars" as a skill on their LinkedIn.


Serbia?  Spark a World War?  Nah, that's crazy-talk.
2014-02-28 02:08:41 PM  
1 vote:
We should have sent troops there the moment Russia started holding invasion drills.

Russia wouldn't have invaded if we were there because they don't want war with us any more than we do with them.

This could escalate into a war because we were too pussy to stand our ground.
2014-02-28 01:54:50 PM  
1 vote:
Shoulda kept the nukes.
2014-02-28 01:34:35 PM  
1 vote:
Hey, we sent in Putin. You're welcome
ZAZ [TotalFark]
2014-02-28 12:55:14 PM  
1 vote:
I forgot about that in the thread the other day. If you'll excuse me I need to pack up to take a vacation farther away from Boston than the 5 PSI overpressure radius.
 
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