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(Jezebel)   Marriage counselors recommend couples have sex twice a week to improve intimacy. Columnist wonders why twice? "Twice is better than once and once is better than none, but how did we arrive at this idea that twice a week is a good amount of sex?"   (jezebel.com) divider line 100
    More: Interesting, tantric sex, couples have sex, sexual intimacy, Joneses  
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4200 clicks; posted to Main » on 28 Feb 2014 at 9:13 AM (42 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



100 Comments   (+0 »)
   
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2014-02-28 09:14:28 AM  
Sheets and towels don't wash themselves.
 
2014-02-28 09:16:45 AM  
Because it probably sets the 'disinterested' partner into being more receptive towards sex, without overwhelming them and making them think it is an unobtainable goal?

Sort of like how 'walk around the block for 20 minutes 3 times a week' is used as an exercise goal. It's not great, and you should do more. But when baseline is zero, starting somewhere requires a reference point.
 
2014-02-28 09:18:18 AM  
I'm goin away?
 
2014-02-28 09:18:31 AM  
Does it have to be with my wife?
 
2014-02-28 09:19:09 AM  
Not clicking the link, but if I had to guess:

Twice a week is too much because all sex is rape and disgusting because men.

/How close was I?
 
2014-02-28 09:20:06 AM  
Whoa, whoa...whoa...twice a *week*?! Can't we start with something a bit more doable? Like twice more before I die?
 
2014-02-28 09:21:26 AM  

mongbiohazard: Does it have to be with my wife?


Nope.. I know for a fact she already has sex more than twice a week.


::zing::
 
2014-02-28 09:21:50 AM  
fark jezebel
 
2014-02-28 09:22:18 AM  
One is angry sex and the other is make-up sex. Sounds good to me.
 
2014-02-28 09:23:31 AM  
With each other?
 
2014-02-28 09:24:15 AM  
Not true. My wife and I are growing even more distant, even though I'm having sex twice a week. Perhaps it's because she isn't?
 
2014-02-28 09:24:42 AM  
I once heard that the way to make a man happy is a combination of either steak or BJs three times a week.  I think there is a lot of wisdom in that. We are inconvenient but very simple creatures.
 
2014-02-28 09:24:52 AM  
First thought: "What's wrong with having sex twice a week?"

Second thought: "Author sounds like a married woman."

Third thought: "Oh, Jezebel. It all makes sense now."
 
2014-02-28 09:26:18 AM  
i.kinja-img.com

fap fap fap
 
2014-02-28 09:26:24 AM  
What am I, a machine?
 
2014-02-28 09:26:40 AM  
Twice a week is a good number as it is 4 to 8 times the normal amount of sex married couples have.
 
2014-02-28 09:28:04 AM  
Twice a week:  Once on Tuesday and again on the second Tuesday.

24.media.tumblr.com
 
2014-02-28 09:29:13 AM  
I got married because I wanted to see my wife intimately on a regular basis, not because I needed a roommate.
 
2014-02-28 09:30:34 AM  

minoridiot: I got married because I wanted to see my wife intimately on a regular basis, not because I needed a roommate.


So are you re-thinking that marriage?
 
2014-02-28 09:31:02 AM  
Twice a week to let the rope burns heal
 
2014-02-28 09:31:08 AM  

The Southern Logic Company: Not clicking the link, but if I had to guess:

Twice a week is too much because all sex is rape and disgusting because men.

/How close was I?


Really far off. It wasn't actually a terrible article (and this is Fark, where we see some real doozies.) It doesn't really accomplish anything, though. "Two is arbitrary, you should figure out a number that works for both of you." Real scholarship right there.
 
2014-02-28 09:31:51 AM  

Abe Vigoda's Ghost: minoridiot: I got married because I wanted to see my wife intimately on a regular basis, not because I needed a roommate.

So are you re-thinking that marriage?


I was just thinking, "Sure, he says that now, but wait until their 6th or 7th anniversary."
 
2014-02-28 09:32:00 AM  
Only twice and my ole lady would ditch me.
 
2014-02-28 09:32:45 AM  
Can it be twice on Wednesdays?  There's isn't anything on TV on Hump Days.
 
2014-02-28 09:34:20 AM  
Geez, twice a decade would be an improvement.
 
2014-02-28 09:34:37 AM  

minoridiot: I got married because I wanted to see my wife intimately on a regular basis, not because I needed a roommate.


if more people would admit that, there would be more happy marriages.
 
2014-02-28 09:34:46 AM  

minoridiot: I got married because I wanted to see my wife intimately on a regular basis, not because I needed a roommate.


img.fark.net
 
2014-02-28 09:35:09 AM  

The Southern Logic Company: Not clicking the link, but if I had to guess:

Twice a week is too much because all sex is rape and disgusting because men.

/How close was I?


Pretty far off. They're saying do it as much as feels right for the both of you and putting quantitative goals on a sexlife can result in stress. It's different for everyone so coming up with a "rule" like twice a week is nonsense.

cgraves67: First thought: "What's wrong with having sex twice a week?"

Second thought: "Author sounds like a married woman."

Third thought: "Oh, Jezebel. It all makes sense now."


Just look at the quote in the headline. You don't have to even click. They're saying more is better--which goes against the meat of the article (that each case is unique and there's no real answer) but whatever.

I hate Jezebel as much as the next guy but this article wasn't sex negative at all.

smoky2010: Twice a week is a good number as it is 4 to 8 times the normal amount of sex married couples have.


I'm glad to be abnormal. We range from 3-4 times per week to maybe only once a week, it all depends on outside circumstances and when we get the chance. But always always do the sexy flirting in between. Shoot for quality over quantity.
 
2014-02-28 09:36:49 AM  

shaddix: fark jezebel


That's three times.
 
2014-02-28 09:37:23 AM  
All the good comments have already been taken.

Bravo, everyone. Bravo.
 
2014-02-28 09:37:50 AM  

palelizard: Can it be twice on Wednesdays?  There's isn't anything on TV on Hump Days.


i1.ytimg.com

Hey baby, guess what day it is.
 
2014-02-28 09:38:07 AM  
You know your man is workin' hard.  He's worth a deuce.

ecx.images-amazon.com
 
2014-02-28 09:38:12 AM  

The Southern Logic Company: Not clicking the link, but if I had to guess:

Twice a week is too much because all sex is rape and disgusting because men.

/How close was I?


You got that from a headline that quotes the article as implying more sex is better?

I know people don't RTFA, but you apparently couldn't even get to the end of the headline.
 
2014-02-28 09:38:41 AM  
For those that don't like to rtfa, two is the average number that the happiest couples report for sex in a week. So if happy couples do the deed twice a week, then having sex twice a week makes couples happy. See! correlation = causation!

Also, I'm betting the willingness of married men to continue therapy is greatly increased if the therapist recommends more sex. "I know your not in the mood honey, but it's for the good of our relationship!"
 
2014-02-28 09:39:35 AM  
forums.pelicanparts.com
 
2014-02-28 09:39:39 AM  

Abe Vigoda's Ghost: minoridiot: I got married because I wanted to see my wife intimately on a regular basis, not because I needed a roommate.

So are you re-thinking that marriage?


Nope.  After being together 14 years, things are going beautifully.
 
2014-02-28 09:39:55 AM  

hstein3: It wasn't actually a terrible article (and this is Fark, where we see some real doozies.) It doesn't really accomplish anything, though. "Two is arbitrary, you should figure out a number that works for both of you." Real scholarship right there.


Seems problematic as it would encourage the couple to round down to no more than the less-interested partner ever wants, which is the whole problem. Seems better to start with something arbitrary, then fiddle about with the goal numbers from there.
 
2014-02-28 09:41:02 AM  

minoridiot: After being together 14 years, things are going beautifully.


*fistbump*
 
2014-02-28 09:44:44 AM  
I'd probably be able to aspire to sex twice a week if it weren't for my wife's bloody Facebook account.

Something about me making moves on my wife reminds her she needs to check Facebook.
 
2014-02-28 09:45:04 AM  
If sex is the glue holding your marriage together, you should not be married.

There are plenty of things that can make sex become hard, if not impossible: disease being one of them...say cancer..and it can literally stop sex like turning off a light switch. In this case, the relationship itself, the love and friendship, devotion and so on.. are what will hold the marriage together. Understand, cancer can stop sex permanently depending on its severity. I'm just saying...

That said, sex and marriage go hand in hand. I don't understand women who withhold sex from their men, or men who demand sex from their women. Surely there must be a way to figure it out without all the stupid gender stereotypes having to come into play?

I would assume a man needs intimacy and love and to fee appreciated and cared for in the same way as a woman does, and I would assume that a woman needs sex the same way a man does, but crossed wires, cultural and/ or gender expectations, combined with fatigue, ennui, being married for the wrong reasons, job pressures, kids, life in general make this all hard to accomplish sometimes.

People should communicate more, not read articles online. If your afraid to talk to your husband or wife about intimate issues, you probably should not be married to that person.
 
2014-02-28 09:46:11 AM  

ColSanders: You know your man is workin' hard.  He's worth a deuce.

img.fark.net


THREAD HIJACK ALERT:

First proper rock show I saw all by myself without my mommy sitting next to me.  Yes, I'm old.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TaPUtEW4bXI

/GTF off my Lawn
 
2014-02-28 09:48:04 AM  

Cheron: Twice a week to let the rope burns heal


Oh, my! How I laughed at that!

Well done!
 
2014-02-28 09:48:32 AM  

robertus: Hey baby, guess what day it is.


I snorted so hard I hurt my nose and throat. Good job, my friend. Good job.
 
2014-02-28 09:48:47 AM  
Dear Jezebelch, the answer is "because Martin Luther":

He thought loneliness wasn't healthy and thus that celibacy was unnatural and not a good idea; he allegedly replied to a question about it with the rhyme:

"In der Woche zwier schadet weder ihm noch ihr".

(roughly: "Twice per week hurts neither him nor her". )
 
2014-02-28 09:51:48 AM  
I could have sex 3x a day, my wife 1x every couple of weeks.

/we're getting divorced, how did you know?
 
2014-02-28 09:52:17 AM  

Rain Fall: There are plenty of things that can make sex become hard, if not impossible: disease being one of them...say cancer..and it can literally stop sex like turning off a light switch. In this case, the relationship itself, the love and friendship, devotion and so on.. are what will hold the marriage together. Understand, cancer can stop sex permanently depending on its severity. I'm just saying...


This is why you need to discuss options beforehand, like what if one of you becomes unable to do it? Does that warrant a hall pass? Is it selfish of the ailing parter to assume the healthy one will just become celibate at that point? There's no universal answer to these questions but you should probably sort this stuff out first. It's goign to be a million times more awkward and stressful trying to navigate these issues after an ailment or injury occurs.
 
2014-02-28 09:55:11 AM  
Sure, for how long? Two pumps twice a week enough?
 
2014-02-28 09:55:54 AM  

hstein3: The Southern Logic Company: Not clicking the link, but if I had to guess:

Twice a week is too much because all sex is rape and disgusting because men.

/How close was I?

Really far off. It wasn't actually a terrible article (and this is Fark, where we see some real doozies.) It doesn't really accomplish anything, though. "Two is arbitrary, you should figure out a number that works for both of you." Real scholarship right there.


Medium-terrible.  It squeezed about a paragraph of decent advice into a couple thousand words.  Also, I'm pretty confident that the author strawpersonned the therapist's advice into some sort of diktat that you must have sex twice a week; I doubt the therapist actually said that.  She then spent the rest of the time torching the strawperson.  Add in the usual irritating Jezebel tics (If the tacos ain't broke don't fix them) and you have a pretty terrible article.  Especially since she winds up conceding that the therapist had a point:

Also, a little bit of fake-it-til-you-make-it isn't as bad as it sounds when it comes to sex. As Frank Kermit mentions, "If you want to protect the monogamy of your relationship, make the effort to sexually satisfy your partner, or risk pushing your partner away."
 
2014-02-28 09:55:57 AM  
Yes, but how often to do I show my genitals to random strangers on the internet?
 
2014-02-28 09:57:25 AM  

Rain Fall: If sex is the glue holding your marriage together, you should not be married.

There are plenty of things that can make sex become hard, if not impossible: disease being one of them...say cancer..and it can literally stop sex like turning off a light switch. In this case, the relationship itself, the love and friendship, devotion and so on.. are what will hold the marriage together. Understand, cancer can stop sex permanently depending on its severity. I'm just saying...


No one really wants to be in that kind of relationship, they only stay in them out of a sense of loyalty and shame.

Which is why guys who have no loyalty or shame, like Newt Gengrich, drop them like they're hot once they are no longer farkable.
 
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