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(CNN)   New study claims the men have a "biological clock" that drives their need to procreate. Subbette believes that's called "the lifespan of a man"   (thechart.blogs.cnn.com ) divider line
    More: Obvious, JAMA Psychiatry, mental disorders, ASD, Down syndrome, bipolar disorders  
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2509 clicks; posted to Main » on 28 Feb 2014 at 10:54 AM (2 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



143 Comments     (+0 »)
 
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2014-02-28 08:37:56 AM  
content6.flixster.com
 
2014-02-28 09:14:52 AM  
Men are horniest in the morning.
 
2014-02-28 09:18:30 AM  
I view us as viruses.  It's a biological imperative to infect as many others as possible with our genes and have them make more of us.
 
2014-02-28 09:20:31 AM  
you misspelled cock. biological cock
 
2014-02-28 09:33:43 AM  
Biological clock driving men's need to procreate runs out when men begin yelling at neighborhood kids to get off his lawn.
encrypted-tbn2.gstatic.com
 
2014-02-28 09:40:29 AM  
A minivan is the best sign of male virility out there.
 
2014-02-28 09:53:39 AM  

Tr0mBoNe: A minivan is the best sign of male virility out there.


There's a guy who sometimes goes to my supermarket.  Honda station wagon with handcuffs hanging from the rear view and naked lady silhouette mudflaps.

He looks precisely as you'd predict.
 
2014-02-28 10:10:41 AM  
backhomeblog.com
 
2014-02-28 10:10:46 AM  
Not only do I have no such urge, whenever a friend says "we're thinking of having a baby" it is actually hard for me to overcome the urge to say "Seriously? WHY?"
 
2014-02-28 10:25:55 AM  

vernonFL: Men are horniest in the morning.


Were you peeking in my bedroom window this morning?

/love morning sex
 
2014-02-28 10:38:12 AM  

blatz514: vernonFL: Men are horniest in the morning.

Were you peeking in my bedroom window this morning?

/love morning sex


I recall a study that said, for dudes, 7am and 10pm.
 
2014-02-28 10:57:03 AM  

unlikely: Not only do I have no such urge, whenever a friend says "we're thinking of having a baby" it is actually hard for me to overcome the urge to say "Seriously? WHY?"


I am the same way. I love my nieces and nephew, but everytime I hear about people having a kid the first things I think of are the cost and the state of the world and think that I am doing a potential kid a favor by not having one.
 
2014-02-28 10:57:16 AM  

Diogenes: blatz514: vernonFL: Men are horniest in the morning.

Were you peeking in my bedroom window this morning?

/love morning sex

I recall a study that said, for dudes, 7am and 10pm.


That would explain my raging boners every morning.
 
2014-02-28 10:57:58 AM  

Tr0mBoNe: A minivan is the best sign of male virility out there.


Condoms prevent minivans!
 
2014-02-28 10:58:39 AM  
I still pull out way early.
 
2014-02-28 10:59:10 AM  
I'm sure they would not forget to factor in that older men tend to with older women?

I'm assuming then that they did this analysis only on men who's baby carrying women were all of an identical age?
 
hej [TotalFark]
2014-02-28 10:59:53 AM  
Subbette is right.
 
2014-02-28 11:02:11 AM  

blatz514: Diogenes: blatz514: vernonFL: Men are horniest in the morning.

Were you peeking in my bedroom window this morning?

/love morning sex

I recall a study that said, for dudes, 7am and 10pm.

That would explain my raging boners every morning.


The study went into hormone levels and stuff.  But I have to wonder if there also isn't one of those correlation/causation thingies.

I go to bed hoping to dream about sex.  And I wake up having dreamt about sex.
 
2014-02-28 11:03:58 AM  
dick tock dick tock dick tock
 
2014-02-28 11:06:16 AM  
Every morning, I wake up with my very own sun dial.

/too subtle?
 
2014-02-28 11:07:32 AM  

unlikely: Not only do I have no such urge, whenever a friend says "we're thinking of having a baby" it is actually hard for me to overcome the urge to say "Seriously? WHY?"


I think they're trying to beg for you to talk them out of it.
 
2014-02-28 11:07:46 AM  

Diogenes: blatz514: vernonFL: Men are horniest in the morning.

Were you peeking in my bedroom window this morning?

/love morning sex

I recall a study that said, for dudes, 7am and 10pm.


Conveniently, the hours most of us are already in bed anyway. We're lazy and it's convenient.
 
2014-02-28 11:08:39 AM  
Subette, Ive never met you, and this sounds crazy, but I wanna make babies with you and several of your closest female friends and family members and neighbors and coworkers and acquaintances and former classmates
 
2014-02-28 11:09:17 AM  

groppet: unlikely: Not only do I have no such urge, whenever a friend says "we're thinking of having a baby" it is actually hard for me to overcome the urge to say "Seriously? WHY?"

I am the same way. I love my nieces and nephew, but everytime I hear about people having a kid the first things I think of are the cost and the state of the world and think that I am doing a potential kid a favor by not having one.


yeah, clean water and electricity. Refrigerators. Grocery stores with fresh food and what not. Paved roads and cars.  Modern medicine and vaccines. THE HORROR.

but they are expensive, no doubt about that.

2 kids. But I imagine if you argue having kids logically we would have become extinct a few hundred thousand years ago.
 
2014-02-28 11:09:22 AM  

Diogenes: Tr0mBoNe: A minivan is the best sign of male virility out there.

There's a guy who sometimes goes to my supermarket.  Honda station wagon with handcuffs hanging from the rear view and naked lady silhouette mudflaps.

He looks precisely as you'd predict.


Like this?

img.fark.net
 
2014-02-28 11:10:06 AM  
The clock begins 20 minutes after I have sex, and doesn't stop until I have sex again or die.
 
2014-02-28 11:10:40 AM  

Diogenes: blatz514: Diogenes: blatz514: vernonFL: Men are horniest in the morning.

Were you peeking in my bedroom window this morning?

/love morning sex

I recall a study that said, for dudes, 7am and 10pm.

That would explain my raging boners every morning.

The study went into hormone levels and stuff.  But I have to wonder if there also isn't one of those correlation/causation thingies.

I go to bed hoping to dream about sex.  And I wake up having dreamt about sex.


Funny you should mention that, I had a dream about this girl last night..

postgradproblems.com

which I think my gf noticed this morning.
 
2014-02-28 11:10:40 AM  

FarkingReading: Diogenes: Tr0mBoNe: A minivan is the best sign of male virility out there.

There's a guy who sometimes goes to my supermarket.  Honda station wagon with handcuffs hanging from the rear view and naked lady silhouette mudflaps.

He looks precisely as you'd predict.

Like this?

[img.fark.net image 225x250]


Needs a bad moustache and too-tight jeans that accentuate his growing gut, but awful close!
 
2014-02-28 11:11:12 AM  

Diogenes: blatz514: Diogenes: blatz514: vernonFL: Men are horniest in the morning.

Were you peeking in my bedroom window this morning?

/love morning sex

I recall a study that said, for dudes, 7am and 10pm.

That would explain my raging boners every morning.

The study went into hormone levels and stuff.  But I have to wonder if there also isn't one of those correlation/causation thingies.

I go to bed hoping to dream about sex.  And I wake up having dreamt about sex.


Testosterone decreases as you age (and is largely responsible for your libido).  Whether this is an affected cellular response to "protect" the species from older individuals who may have gametes with mutated nucleotides or are simply your cell's inability to function as robustly in the absence of many of the growth factors of youth, you decide.
 
2014-02-28 11:11:56 AM  

blatz514: which I think my gf noticed this morning.


Yeah, the little brain doesn't talk, but he's hardly mum.
 
2014-02-28 11:11:57 AM  
Had one kid, everything sucked at first and slowly got better. Been nagged about having another but I like my nice things staying nice.
 
2014-02-28 11:12:36 AM  
It is only meet and right for men to wish to bestow the treasure of their seed upon the world, through the begetting of multiple issue. Come to me, women, and let me impregnate you with my vital life fluid.
 
2014-02-28 11:14:08 AM  

Abuse Liability: Diogenes: blatz514: Diogenes: blatz514: vernonFL: Men are horniest in the morning.

Were you peeking in my bedroom window this morning?

/love morning sex

I recall a study that said, for dudes, 7am and 10pm.

That would explain my raging boners every morning.

The study went into hormone levels and stuff.  But I have to wonder if there also isn't one of those correlation/causation thingies.

I go to bed hoping to dream about sex.  And I wake up having dreamt about sex.

Testosterone decreases as you age (and is largely responsible for your libido).  Whether this is an affected cellular response to "protect" the species from older individuals who may have gametes with mutated nucleotides or are simply your cell's inability to function as robustly in the absence of many of the growth factors of youth, you decide.


In addition to that scientific analysis, I'd like to add I'm old and no longer wish to procreate... but would sure love some BIE

/EIP
 
2014-02-28 11:14:41 AM  

Tr0mBoNe: A minivan is the best sign of male virility out there.


And they're always ready to show you how manly and alpha they are at riding your ass and cutting you off in traffic.
 
2014-02-28 11:15:44 AM  
Diogenes: "Honda station wagon with handcuffs hanging from the rear view and naked lady silhouette mudflaps."

If you'd said "pickup truck" -- I know what that guy looks like.
But a *station wagon*? I'd half-expect a butch lady cop at that point.

If it's a guy... I'm picturing the beaten-down/self-delusional/mid-life-crisis remains of the guy who had those trappings on his pickup, but now has a wife and kids.
 
2014-02-28 11:16:30 AM  
Populations have stagnated, or are on the decline, in most developed countries so now it's "My my farking God! how were we gonna be able to take care of all these old people!  You better get out there and start farking."
 
2014-02-28 11:17:03 AM  
As some farker said before "All this talk about spreading your seed into as many women as possible, but everyone of you pulls out and/or uses condoms. No man wants 50 kids, but they want 50 partners."
 
2014-02-28 11:19:54 AM  

Diogenes: I recall a study that said, for dudes, 7am and 10pm.


For me, it is 7am until 10pm.
 
2014-02-28 11:19:58 AM  

Diogenes: blatz514: which I think my gf noticed this morning.

Yeah, the little brain doesn't talk, but he's hardly mum.


31.media.tumblr.com
 
2014-02-28 11:20:20 AM  

Livinglush: I'm sure they would not forget to factor in that older men tend to with older women?

I'm assuming then that they did this analysis only on men who's baby carrying women were all of an identical age?



This was my question as well.  I guess it's too much to ask of TFA to tell us if the study meant there were men of all different ages having kids with women only aged 20 to 25, say and which kids came out screwy.


groppet: everytime I hear about people having a kid the first things I think of are the cost and the state of the world and that I am doing a potential kid a favor by not having one.



Sort of a preemptive suicide.
 
2014-02-28 11:20:25 AM  

Abuse Liability: Diogenes: blatz514: Diogenes: blatz514: vernonFL: Men are horniest in the morning.

Were you peeking in my bedroom window this morning?

/love morning sex

I recall a study that said, for dudes, 7am and 10pm.

That would explain my raging boners every morning.

The study went into hormone levels and stuff.  But I have to wonder if there also isn't one of those correlation/causation thingies.

I go to bed hoping to dream about sex.  And I wake up having dreamt about sex.

Testosterone decreases as you age (and is largely responsible for your libido).  Whether this is an affected cellular response to "protect" the species from older individuals who may have gametes with mutated nucleotides or are simply your cell's inability to function as robustly in the absence of many of the growth factors of youth, you decide.


Hey man, I just came to crack jokes ;-)
 
2014-02-28 11:22:15 AM  

Diogenes: Abuse Liability: Diogenes: blatz514: Diogenes: blatz514: vernonFL: Men are horniest in the morning.

Were you peeking in my bedroom window this morning?

/love morning sex

I recall a study that said, for dudes, 7am and 10pm.

That would explain my raging boners every morning.

The study went into hormone levels and stuff.  But I have to wonder if there also isn't one of those correlation/causation thingies.

I go to bed hoping to dream about sex.  And I wake up having dreamt about sex.

Testosterone decreases as you age (and is largely responsible for your libido).  Whether this is an affected cellular response to "protect" the species from older individuals who may have gametes with mutated nucleotides or are simply your cell's inability to function as robustly in the absence of many of the growth factors of youth, you decide.

Hey man, I just came to crack jokes ;-)


Cracking jokes when you come, huh? I guess it's a coping mechanism.
 
2014-02-28 11:25:10 AM  

Diogenes: blatz514: vernonFL: Men are horniest in the morning.

Were you peeking in my bedroom window this morning?

/love morning sex

I recall a study that said, for dudes, 7am and 10pm.


That's why I masturbate as soon as I get to my desk at 7:30am.
 
2014-02-28 11:27:24 AM  
Not true, subbette.
The clock runs continuously from onset of puberty until death (I sincerely hope).

/I was alive before I started to pull myself through puberty.
//We all seem to pull through puberty just fine.
 
2014-02-28 11:29:13 AM  

busy chillin': As some farker said before "All this talk about spreading your seed into as many women as possible, but everyone of you pulls out and/or uses condoms. No man wants 50 kids, but they want 50 partners."


But they instinctively don't want to pull out and wish they didn't have to wear a condom. It's the cognitive part of the brain that does this because we can reason. That doesn't mean there's no biological impulse at all. We override that, but it's there.
 
2014-02-28 11:29:33 AM  

demaL-demaL-yeH: /I was alive before I started to pull myself through puberty.


Lord knows I pulled myself plenty of times during puberty.
 
2014-02-28 11:30:21 AM  

busy chillin': No man wants 50 kids, but they want 50 partners."


A man would be fine with 50 kids, if he didn't have to take care of them.
 
2014-02-28 11:31:40 AM  
So how do you explain Facials? And how the hell did some guy get such an even covering?

www.examiner.com
 
2014-02-28 11:31:49 AM  

Fissile: Populations have stagnated, or are on the decline, in most developed countries so now it's "My my farking God! how were we gonna be able to take care of all these old people!  You better get out there and start farking."


And since job pay in the USA is in the shiatter for 75% of the population, only immigration will keep us afloat.
 
2014-02-28 11:32:32 AM  
Need a Little Head this morning.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7vQB90iblug
 
2014-02-28 11:34:10 AM  

theorellior: busy chillin': No man wants 50 kids, but they want 50 partners."

A man would be fine with 50 kids, if he didn't have to take care of them.


At some point though he'd have to keep track of all of his kids otherwise he could inadvertently end up lusting after one of his daughters.    Obviously, there are some guys for whom that wouldn't be a problem, but hopefully they are exceptions.
 
2014-02-28 11:35:25 AM  

theorellior: busy chillin': No man wants 50 kids, but they want 50 partners."

A man would be fine with 50 kids, if he didn't have to take care of them.


Mohammed bin Laden, father of Osama,  produced 54 children with 22 different wives.  He never had more than 4 wives, and would divorce older ones and replace them with younger wives.
 
2014-02-28 11:37:27 AM  
"Testosterone decreases as you age (and is largely responsible for your libido). Whether this is an affected cellular response to "protect" the species from older individuals who may have gametes with mutated nucleotides or are simply your cell's inability to function as robustly in the absence of many of the growth factors of youth, you decide."

Testosterone decreases as you age proportionally to the availability of women that stimulate you. In other words, once you can't get the good looking younger ones anymore, you naturally don't care anymore. I barely look twice any any women over 40. they're just not on my radar. Wish I was like that 70 something looking guy I saw in LV at Ceasars that time with that Blonde, Mini-Dress, Heels, Mid-20's, that is to say, Rich!  Then you can still have whatever you want.
 
2014-02-28 11:37:48 AM  

theorellior: busy chillin': No man wants 50 kids, but they want 50 partners."

A man would be fine with 50 kids, if he didn't have to take care of them.


You sir are technically correct.
 
2014-02-28 11:39:03 AM  
I've got two kids as of last month. I don't know if it's the exhaustion, the satisfied biological imperative, or just getting older, but I think my libido is starting to relax its deathgrip on my brain.

WRT having kids in a bad world, if you don't procreate and raise kids to counteract the idiots, the idiots will run human civilization into the ground. So I reproduce for the sake of humanity.
 
2014-02-28 11:39:33 AM  

Fafai: busy chillin': As some farker said before "All this talk about spreading your seed into as many women as possible, but everyone of you pulls out and/or uses condoms. No man wants 50 kids, but they want 50 partners."

But they instinctively don't want to pull out and wish they didn't have to wear a condom. It's the cognitive part of the brain that does this because we can reason. That doesn't mean there's no biological impulse at all. We override that, but it's there.


yeah, there is definitely a biological impulse, I just thought it was an interesting observation.
 
2014-02-28 11:40:55 AM  

FarkingReading: Diogenes: Abuse Liability: Diogenes: blatz514: Diogenes: blatz514: vernonFL: Men are horniest in the morning.

Were you peeking in my bedroom window this morning?

/love morning sex

I recall a study that said, for dudes, 7am and 10pm.

That would explain my raging boners every morning.

The study went into hormone levels and stuff.  But I have to wonder if there also isn't one of those correlation/causation thingies.

I go to bed hoping to dream about sex.  And I wake up having dreamt about sex.

Testosterone decreases as you age (and is largely responsible for your libido).  Whether this is an affected cellular response to "protect" the species from older individuals who may have gametes with mutated nucleotides or are simply your cell's inability to function as robustly in the absence of many of the growth factors of youth, you decide.

Hey man, I just came to crack jokes ;-)

Cracking jokes when you come, huh? I guess it's a coping mechanism.


Well, I already know she will be laughing... so why not?
 
2014-02-28 11:43:11 AM  

Fissile: theorellior: busy chillin': No man wants 50 kids, but they want 50 partners."

A man would be fine with 50 kids, if he didn't have to take care of them.

Mohammed bin Laden, father of Osama,  produced 54 children with 22 different wives.  He never had more than 4 wives, and would divorce older ones and replace them with younger wives.


Was he a billionaire? 2 kids is enough for me, I can't afford three. But maybe, just maybe if i was a billionaire that wouldn't be an issue. And most guys couldn't even come close to getting away with that. There are always outliers.
 
2014-02-28 11:43:55 AM  

busy chillin': Fafai: busy chillin': As some farker said before "All this talk about spreading your seed into as many women as possible, but everyone of you pulls out and/or uses condoms. No man wants 50 kids, but they want 50 partners."

But they instinctively don't want to pull out and wish they didn't have to wear a condom. It's the cognitive part of the brain that does this because we can reason. That doesn't mean there's no biological impulse at all. We override that, but it's there.

yeah, there is definitely a biological impulse, I just thought it was an interesting observation.


I find sex is often a Catch-22 in a lot of ways. Biggest example being that it results in kids, and kids destroy sex. So, don't have kids if you want lots of sex. Best way to ensure not having kids? Don't have any sex at all. Gah!

/or be gay
 
2014-02-28 11:44:21 AM  
Of course it's biological....

Oh.....CLOCK.  Clock.

Well, ok then!
 
2014-02-28 11:45:27 AM  
upload.wikimedia.org

I dunno

Presidet Tyler has living grandchildren. -- he was Pres before Lincoln leaving office in 1845
 
2014-02-28 11:45:27 AM  

boyvoyeur: Well, I already know she will be laughing... so why not?


web.mit.edu
 
2014-02-28 11:46:05 AM  

vernonFL: Men are horniest in the morning.


fact.
 
2014-02-28 11:47:05 AM  

some_beer_drinker: vernonFL: Men are horniest in the morning.

fact.


Yeah but I don't want to actually do anything. Laziest and horniest.
 
2014-02-28 11:47:48 AM  
What was that joke about the self-winding watch?
 
2014-02-28 11:48:40 AM  

bdub77: you misspelled cock. biological cock


He just wanted you to put two hands and a face on it.
 
2014-02-28 11:49:24 AM  

Abuse Liability: ...Whether this is an affected cellular response to "protect" the species from older individuals who may have gametes with mutated nucleotides or are simply your cell's inability to function as robustly in the absence of many of the growth factors of youth, you decide.



It's more like "Oh, you're still alive? That's real sweet and all, but hope you did your breeding 15-20 years ago like everyone else in your family tree did."
 
2014-02-28 11:49:49 AM  
My biological clock is throbbing.
 
2014-02-28 11:50:41 AM  

Fafai: some_beer_drinker: vernonFL: Men are horniest in the morning.

fact.

Yeah but I don't want to actually do anything. Laziest and horniest.


Unfortunately, bad breath and the need to evacuate bowels and bladders and take a shower tends to kill the mood first thing in the morning. After shower sex is a far more successful proposition.
 
2014-02-28 11:50:54 AM  

Tr0mBoNe: A minivan is the best sign of male virility out there.


It usually means we're marriage material and not shooting blanks.
 
2014-02-28 11:52:35 AM  

cgraves67: After shower sex is a far more successful proposition.


During is good too.
 
2014-02-28 11:53:36 AM  
So have we determined a sell-by date for men?
 
2014-02-28 11:53:56 AM  

FarkingReading: Diogenes: Abuse Liability: Diogenes: blatz514: Diogenes: blatz514: vernonFL: Men are horniest in the morning.

Were you peeking in my bedroom window this morning?

/love morning sex

I recall a study that said, for dudes, 7am and 10pm.

That would explain my raging boners every morning.

The study went into hormone levels and stuff.  But I have to wonder if there also isn't one of those correlation/causation thingies.

I go to bed hoping to dream about sex.  And I wake up having dreamt about sex.

  Whether this is an affected cellular response to "protect" the species from older individuals who may have gametes with mutated nucleotides or are simply your cell's inability to function as robustly in the absence of many of the growth factors of youth, you decide.

Hey man, I just came to crack jokes ;-)

Cracking jokes when you come, huh? I guess it's a coping mechanism.

--Testosterone decreases as you age (and is largely responsible for your libido)-----
I agree, At my age I've turned from being be a pervert to

leave me the hell alone...............BTW wheres my sandwich.
 
2014-02-28 11:55:19 AM  

uber humper: [upload.wikimedia.org image 287x403]

I dunno

Presidet Tyler has living grandchildren. -- he was Pres before Lincoln leaving office in 1845


That's incredible. I wasn't sure that what you posted was true, but it looks like it is.
 
2014-02-28 11:55:56 AM  
Driven to procreate but most don't want kids.
 
2014-02-28 11:56:27 AM  

Vector R: Tr0mBoNe: A minivan is the best sign of male virility out there.

Condoms prevent minivans!


...and we're done here.
 
2014-02-28 11:56:36 AM  

Smeggy Smurf: Tr0mBoNe: A minivan is the best sign of male virility out there.

It usually means we're marriage material and not shooting blanks.


It means you are already married w/ children.

If you drive a minivan when you're not married and don't have kids, it's not that you're shooting blacks, it means you can't get it up

/typo left intentionally
 
2014-02-28 11:57:07 AM  

cgraves67: Unfortunately, bad breath and the need to evacuate bowels and bladders and take a shower tends to kill the mood first thing in the morning. After s  Shower sex is a far more successful proposition.


You're doing it wrong.
 
2014-02-28 11:57:48 AM  

cgraves67: I've got two kids as of last month. I don't know if it's the exhaustion, the satisfied biological imperative, or just getting older, but I think my libido is starting to relax its deathgrip on my brain.

WRT having kids in a bad world, if you don't procreate and raise kids to counteract the idiots, the idiots will run human civilization into the ground. So I reproduce for the sake of humanity.


videowordmadefleshdotcom.files.wordpress.com

Smarted thing I've heard in this thread so far.
 
2014-02-28 11:57:54 AM  

Lady Beryl Ersatz-Wendigo: So have we determined a sell-by date for men?


My warranty expired three years ago.
 
2014-02-28 11:58:59 AM  

mainstreet62: uber humper: [upload.wikimedia.org image 287x403]

I dunno

Presidet Tyler has living grandchildren. -- he was Pres before Lincoln leaving office in 1845

That's incredible. I wasn't sure that what you posted was true, but it looks like it is.


I heard them interviewed a year or two ago. Show also mentioned a person receiving Civil War benefits (from wounded father) and a few getting benefits from Spanish American war
 
2014-02-28 12:00:35 PM  

Lady Beryl Ersatz-Wendigo: So have we determined a sell-by date for men?


I'd guess around 40 just like women. That's when sperm mutations start creeping up and increasing the likelihood of birth defects. Also sperm motility is down, decreasing the likelihood of even having babies, defective or otherwise.
 
2014-02-28 12:01:58 PM  

uber humper: Smeggy Smurf: Tr0mBoNe: A minivan is the best sign of male virility out there.

It usually means we're marriage material and not shooting blanks.

It means you are already married w/ children.

If you drive a minivan when you're not married and don't have kids, it's not that you're shooting blacks, it means you can't get it up

/typo left intentionally


Or it means that the guy is smart enough to know that the pigs leave minivans alone when they leave the bar.  They're the ultimate stealth party vehicle.
 
2014-02-28 12:02:51 PM  
I'm a woman who has never had desire to squeeze out the babbies. But boy do I love constant full-throttle sex.
 
2014-02-28 12:04:45 PM  
I'm very smart and thus would be useful to prevent idiocracy like most Farkers (I suspect most visitors to this site are above average intelligence).  The problem is that I'm transgender, and have always wished I were female.  I have no desire at all to be a father - I wish that I could be a mother.
 
2014-02-28 12:05:25 PM  
Did the link change? This headline now leads to a story about how older fathers can sire children with mental illness.
 
2014-02-28 12:05:51 PM  

unfarkingbelievable: I'm a woman who has never had desire to squeeze out the babbies. But boy do I love constant full-throttle sex.


As your user page explodes ....
 
2014-02-28 12:06:02 PM  
I was once driven to procreate, but I bailed out before we reached the fertility clinic.
 
2014-02-28 12:07:46 PM  

Smeggy Smurf: uber humper: Smeggy Smurf: Tr0mBoNe: A minivan is the best sign of male virility out there.

It usually means we're marriage material and not shooting blanks.

It means you are already married w/ children.

If you drive a minivan when you're not married and don't have kids, it's not that you're shooting blacks, it means you can't get it up

/typo left intentionally

Or it means that the guy is smart enough to know that the pigs leave minivans alone when they leave the bar.  They're the ultimate stealth party vehicle.


Right.  ANd I have to agree that showing off with an expensive automobile is -- expensive. Driving a 10 year old truck myself.

My next purchase I'm thinking about getting a classic mustang with a new, more efficient, engine. With good care and moderate driving I don't think it would depreciate.
 
2014-02-28 12:08:02 PM  

unfarkingbelievable: I'm a woman who has never had desire to squeeze out the babbies. But boy do I love constant full-throttle sex.



Is this line for the BIE?
 
2014-02-28 12:08:05 PM  
It's really just hard-wired code.

Is the sun up? Time for sex. If not, time for sex.
 
2014-02-28 12:08:07 PM  

Smeggy Smurf: uber humper: Smeggy Smurf: Tr0mBoNe: A minivan is the best sign of male virility out there.

It usually means we're marriage material and not shooting blanks.

It means you are already married w/ children.

If you drive a minivan when you're not married and don't have kids, it's not that you're shooting blacks, it means you can't get it up

/typo left intentionally

Or it means that the guy is smart enough to know that the pigs leave minivans alone when they leave the bar.  They're the ultimate stealth party vehicle.


who makes a vehicle purchase based on how easy it is to get away with driving drunk in it? you got a problem, breh...
 
2014-02-28 12:09:35 PM  

Myria: I suspect most visitors to this site are above average intelligence\


Say what now?

Myria: The problem is that I'm transgender, and have always wished I were female. I have no desire at all to be a father - I wish that I could be a mother


I'll call you 'Mommy' if you like.
 
2014-02-28 12:10:17 PM  
I read 'New Study Claims" as "Nude Slutty Babes".  but i guess no one should be surprised now.
 
2014-02-28 12:12:56 PM  

Myria: I'm very smart and thus would be useful to prevent idiocracy like most Farkers (I suspect most visitors to this site are above average intelligence).  The problem is that I'm transgender, and have always wished I were female.  I have no desire at all to be a father - I wish that I could be a mother.


There's nothing stopping you being a mother.  You're just limited from being a  biological mother.
 
2014-02-28 12:16:13 PM  
Because sperm is toxic and must be released.'Scuse me, I'll be right back.
 
2014-02-28 12:16:48 PM  

Fafai: busy chillin': Fafai: busy chillin': As some farker said before "All this talk about spreading your seed into as many women as possible, but everyone of you pulls out and/or uses condoms. No man wants 50 kids, but they want 50 partners."

But they instinctively don't want to pull out and wish they didn't have to wear a condom. It's the cognitive part of the brain that does this because we can reason. That doesn't mean there's no biological impulse at all. We override that, but it's there.

yeah, there is definitely a biological impulse, I just thought it was an interesting observation.

I find sex is often a Catch-22 in a lot of ways. Biggest example being that it results in kids, and kids destroy sex. So, don't have kids if you want lots of sex. Best way to ensure not having kids? Don't have any sex at all. Gah!

/or be gay


Pull out.
 
2014-02-28 12:18:40 PM  

Shazam999: Pull out.


Right when it feels best? That goes against the instinct, too. I still prefer it to condoms. Been thinking of getting snipped for a while.
 
2014-02-28 12:21:38 PM  

Fafai: Shazam999: Pull out.

Right when it feels best? That goes against the instinct, too. I still prefer it to condoms. Been thinking of getting snipped for a while.


Yeah, it feels great filling her with semen.  My wife likes it too as she'll often orgasm at the same time (she orgasms very easily).  But we have two kids so there's no damned way I'm leaving a deposit anymore.
 
2014-02-28 12:21:57 PM  

cgraves67: Lady Beryl Ersatz-Wendigo: So have we determined a sell-by date for men?

I'd guess around 40 just like women. That's when sperm mutations start creeping up and increasing the likelihood of birth defects. Also sperm motility is down, decreasing the likelihood of even having babies, defective or otherwise.


I knew a kid in elementary school whose father was about 65. She had bifocals in kindergarten.
 
2014-02-28 12:25:36 PM  
cgraves67:

bad breath and the need to evacuate bowels and bladders

You are making me so hot.
 
2014-02-28 12:27:23 PM  

FunkOut: cgraves67: Lady Beryl Ersatz-Wendigo: So have we determined a sell-by date for men?

I'd guess around 40 just like women. That's when sperm mutations start creeping up and increasing the likelihood of birth defects. Also sperm motility is down, decreasing the likelihood of even having babies, defective or otherwise.

I knew a kid in elementary school whose father was about 65. She had bifocals in kindergarten.


Not what you're thinking. It's her mother's fault. She must of had bad eyes, too
 
2014-02-28 12:28:38 PM  

Fafai: Shazam999: Pull out.

Right when it feels best? That goes against the instinct, too. I still prefer it to condoms. Been thinking of getting snipped for a while.


And you can get a woman pregnant from precum. Statstically low but it happens, especially if you have a good active sperm count.
 
2014-02-28 12:30:51 PM  

FarkingReading: cgraves67:

bad breath and the need to evacuate bowels and bladders

You are making me so hot.


Sprechen sie Deutsch?
 
2014-02-28 12:36:28 PM  

FunkOut: Fafai: Shazam999: Pull out.

Right when it feels best? That goes against the instinct, too. I still prefer it to condoms. Been thinking of getting snipped for a while.

And you can get a woman pregnant from precum. Statstically low but it happens, especially if you have a good active sperm count.


Yep, it happens about as often as a failed condom.  These odds go even lower if you've urinated between when you last ejaculated and intercourse.  The fluid itself, secreted from the prostate has no semen but can often pick up 'trace' amounts.  It's main focus is to create a "less hostile" environment in the vagina, or rather, one more conducive to sperm life expectancy and motility.  Been utilizing coitus interruptus for years and it hasn't failed me.  The two kids I did  have took months of intentional seeding.
 
2014-02-28 12:38:44 PM  

cgraves67: Lady Beryl Ersatz-Wendigo: So have we determined a sell-by date for men?

I'd guess around 40 just like women. That's when sperm mutations start creeping up and increasing the likelihood of birth defects. Also sperm motility is down, decreasing the likelihood of even having babies, defective or otherwise.


I question the validity of that. I have plenty of male friends in their later 40's, who've married women mid to late 20's. All of their kids have no issues whatsoever. Heck, one guy just had his 3rd at 52. I consider it dumb, I wanted to be able to enjoy sports with my kids, but according to his wife he bangs her like a snare drum. They decide they want a baby, 2 months later (after she quits taking pills) and she's knocked up by him.

Yeah, yeah, anecdotal evidence. I've yet to see a study that really shows across the board control numbers. There's been plenty of speculation, that's not evidence either.

Personally guys, if you want kids, have'em by 45 so you can still enjoy them being kids. OTOH, ladies, it's likely if a guy can still get it up and was 'normal' to begin with he hasn't hit the sell by date. Different biology: You have to support the growing parasite (er, kid), guys don't. That's the reason there's a 'sell-by' date on female fertility: gestating a kid is hard on the body. Heck, toward the end you can't even process enough nutrients eating to give the kid, so they start stealing them from your body. (e.g. calcium)
 
2014-02-28 12:40:00 PM  

uber humper: FunkOut: cgraves67: Lady Beryl Ersatz-Wendigo: So have we determined a sell-by date for men?

I'd guess around 40 just like women. That's when sperm mutations start creeping up and increasing the likelihood of birth defects. Also sperm motility is down, decreasing the likelihood of even having babies, defective or otherwise.

I knew a kid in elementary school whose father was about 65. She had bifocals in kindergarten.

Not what you're thinking. It's her mother's fault. She must of had bad eyes, too


You're going to have to explain. I've seen a lot of people who had eyesight defects that didn't come from their mother but got it from their father.
 
2014-02-28 12:40:59 PM  

cgraves67: FarkingReading: cgraves67:

bad breath and the need to evacuate bowels and bladders

You are making me so hot.

Sprechen sie Deutsch?


Sprechen Sie Katzendeutsch?  Miau!  =^-^=
 
2014-02-28 12:41:09 PM  

FunkOut: Fafai: Shazam999: Pull out.

Right when it feels best? That goes against the instinct, too. I still prefer it to condoms. Been thinking of getting snipped for a while.

And you can get a woman pregnant from precum. Statstically low but it happens, especially if you have a good active sperm count.


Oop. I read that's only true if there are still residual sperm in the urethra from earlier, which can be killed off/rinsed out by urinating beforehand. I'm just gonna go on believing that.
 
2014-02-28 12:42:20 PM  

inglixthemad: cgraves67: Lady Beryl Ersatz-Wendigo: So have we determined a sell-by date for men?

I'd guess around 40 just like women. That's when sperm mutations start creeping up and increasing the likelihood of birth defects. Also sperm motility is down, decreasing the likelihood of even having babies, defective or otherwise.

I question the validity of that. I have plenty of male friends in their later 40's, who've married women mid to late 20's. All of their kids have no issues whatsoever. Heck, one guy just had his 3rd at 52. I consider it dumb, I wanted to be able to enjoy sports with my kids, but according to his wife he bangs her like a snare drum. They decide they want a baby, 2 months later (after she quits taking pills) and she's knocked up by him.

Yeah, yeah, anecdotal evidence. I've yet to see a study that really shows across the board control numbers. There's been plenty of speculation, that's not evidence either.

Personally guys, if you want kids, have'em by 45 so you can still enjoy them being kids. OTOH, ladies, it's likely if a guy can still get it up and was 'normal' to begin with he hasn't hit the sell by date. Different biology: You have to support the growing parasite (er, kid), guys don't. That's the reason there's a 'sell-by' date on female fertility: gestating a kid is hard on the body. Heck, toward the end you can't even process enough nutrients eating to give the kid, so they start stealing them from your body. (e.g. calcium)


The article that this thread is about cites a study.
 
2014-02-28 12:44:56 PM  

Abuse Liability: FunkOut: Fafai: Shazam999: Pull out.

Right when it feels best? That goes against the instinct, too. I still prefer it to condoms. Been thinking of getting snipped for a while.

And you can get a woman pregnant from precum. Statstically low but it happens, especially if you have a good active sperm count.

Yep, it happens about as often as a failed condom.  These odds go even lower if you've urinated between when you last ejaculated and intercourse.  The fluid itself, secreted from the prostate has no semen but can often pick up 'trace' amounts.  It's main focus is to create a "less hostile" environment in the vagina, or rather, one more conducive to sperm life expectancy and motility.  Been utilizing coitus interruptus for years and it hasn't failed me.   The two kids I did  have took months of intentional seeding.


Bastard.  I knocked up my wife the first time after a month (did it 1-2 times a day).  The second?  Once.  Fuuuuuuuu.....
 
2014-02-28 12:46:51 PM  

Abuse Liability: FunkOut: Fafai: Shazam999: Pull out.

Right when it feels best? That goes against the instinct, too. I still prefer it to condoms. Been thinking of getting snipped for a while.

And you can get a woman pregnant from precum. Statstically low but it happens, especially if you have a good active sperm count.

Yep, it happens about as often as a failed condom.  These odds go even lower if you've urinated between when you last ejaculated and intercourse.  The fluid itself, secreted from the prostate has no semen but can often pick up 'trace' amounts.  It's main focus is to create a "less hostile" environment in the vagina, or rather, one more conducive to sperm life expectancy and motility.  Been utilizing coitus interruptus for years and it hasn't failed me.  The two kids I did  have took months of intentional seeding.


Yeesh, my last one took a month in my late 30's (we always knew when my wife was pregnant within a few days, she'd start puking at random times) and I thought I was slipping. Of course my wife was a fertile little baby maker as well.
 
2014-02-28 12:47:25 PM  

demaL-demaL-yeH: cgraves67: Unfortunately, bad breath and the need to evacuate bowels and bladders and take a shower tends to kill the mood first thing in the morning. After s  Shower sex is a far more successful proposition.

You're doing it wrong.


Shower sex is great if the shower is properly equipped. Height differential can unfortunately derail even the best of intentions.
 
2014-02-28 12:50:42 PM  

inglixthemad: Abuse Liability: FunkOut: Fafai: Shazam999: Pull out.

Right when it feels best? That goes against the instinct, too. I still prefer it to condoms. Been thinking of getting snipped for a while.

And you can get a woman pregnant from precum. Statstically low but it happens, especially if you have a good active sperm count.

Yep, it happens about as often as a failed condom.  These odds go even lower if you've urinated between when you last ejaculated and intercourse.  The fluid itself, secreted from the prostate has no semen but can often pick up 'trace' amounts.  It's main focus is to create a "less hostile" environment in the vagina, or rather, one more conducive to sperm life expectancy and motility.  Been utilizing coitus interruptus for years and it hasn't failed me.  The two kids I did  have took months of intentional seeding.

Yeesh, my last one took a month in my late 30's (we always knew when my wife was pregnant within a few days, she'd start puking at random times) and I thought I was slipping. Of course my wife was a fertile little baby maker as well.


We started at 27.  It's weird that it took me and most of my friends months to conceive.  It may be that we all started older or it may be that we're from Louisiana.  It's usually harder to knock your sister up.  Too many generations of inbreeding can cause sterility.

:-P
 
2014-02-28 12:52:10 PM  

cgraves67: Fafai: some_beer_drinker: vernonFL: Men are horniest in the morning.

fact.

Yeah but I don't want to actually do anything. Laziest and horniest.

Unfortunately, bad breath and the need to evacuate bowels and bladders and take a shower tends to kill the mood first thing in the morning. After shower sex is a far more successful proposition.


Love it when people talk dirty on Fark.
 
2014-02-28 12:53:30 PM  
VladTheEmailer:  That's why I masturbate as soon as I get to my desk at 7:30am.

My cousin Walter jerked off in the office once. True story. He was in a meeting that wasn't going so well and there were talks of massive layoffs. They finally got around to his department, so he decides it's all over and whips it out and starts beating it right there on the boardroom table. So all the other coworkers take a cue from him and they start whipping it out and beating like mad. So all his coworkers are beating off, listening to the CEO rambling about failing corporate profits, when all of the sudden, snap! His department was one of the few profitable divisions and were going to get a slight budget increase for the year. The teleconference continues to the next department and everyone puts their pieces or, whatever, you know, away and go back to their desks. No one mentions the phenomenon to anyone else.
 
2014-02-28 12:54:35 PM  

captjc: VladTheEmailer:  That's why I masturbate as soon as I get to my desk at 7:30am.

My cousin Walter jerked off in the office once. True story. He was in a meeting that wasn't going so well and there were talks of massive layoffs. They finally got around to his department, so he decides it's all over and whips it out and starts beating it right there on the boardroom table. So all the other coworkers take a cue from him and they start whipping it out and beating like mad. So all his coworkers are beating off, listening to the CEO rambling about failing corporate profits, when all of the sudden, snap! His department was one of the few profitable divisions and were going to get a slight budget increase for the year. The teleconference continues to the next department and everyone puts their pieces or, whatever, you know, away and go back to their desks. No one mentions the phenomenon to anyone else.


Well? Did they finish?

/you're welcome
 
2014-02-28 12:55:00 PM  

VladTheEmailer: Myria: I'm very smart and thus would be useful to prevent idiocracy like most Farkers (I suspect most visitors to this site are above average intelligence).  The problem is that I'm transgender, and have always wished I were female.  I have no desire at all to be a father - I wish that I could be a mother.

There's nothing stopping you being a mother.  You're just limited from being a  biological mother.


Isn't that the point of the subthread, to spread good genes?
 
2014-02-28 12:55:31 PM  

Shazam999: Abuse Liability: FunkOut: Fafai: Shazam999: Pull out.

Right when it feels best? That goes against the instinct, too. I still prefer it to condoms. Been thinking of getting snipped for a while.

And you can get a woman pregnant from precum. Statstically low but it happens, especially if you have a good active sperm count.

Yep, it happens about as often as a failed condom.  These odds go even lower if you've urinated between when you last ejaculated and intercourse.  The fluid itself, secreted from the prostate has no semen but can often pick up 'trace' amounts.  It's main focus is to create a "less hostile" environment in the vagina, or rather, one more conducive to sperm life expectancy and motility.  Been utilizing coitus interruptus for years and it hasn't failed me.   The two kids I did  have took months of intentional seeding.

Bastard.  I knocked up my wife the first time after a month (did it 1-2 times a day).  The second?  Once.  Fuuuuuuuu.....


My wife and I both have factors that decrease our fertility. It took 6 months the first time. It took two the second time. She had thermometers and ovulation testers, and drugs that regulate her cycle, the whole nine yards. I was taking zinc supplements. When you try that hard, sex becomes a job.

Now a friend of hers seems to be able to get pregnant at the drop of a pants. I'm afraid of knocking her up just by talking to her.
 
2014-02-28 12:59:26 PM  
Sigh, not again.

img.fark.com
 
2014-02-28 01:00:16 PM  

blatz514: Sigh, not again.

[img.fark.com image 54x11]


Oopsy, that's what I get for having 3 Fark threads open.
 
2014-02-28 01:02:38 PM  

cgraves67: inglixthemad: cgraves67: Lady Beryl Ersatz-Wendigo: So have we determined a sell-by date for men?

I'd guess around 40 just like women. That's when sperm mutations start creeping up and increasing the likelihood of birth defects. Also sperm motility is down, decreasing the likelihood of even having babies, defective or otherwise.

I question the validity of that. I have plenty of male friends in their later 40's, who've married women mid to late 20's. All of their kids have no issues whatsoever. Heck, one guy just had his 3rd at 52. I consider it dumb, I wanted to be able to enjoy sports with my kids, but according to his wife he bangs her like a snare drum. They decide they want a baby, 2 months later (after she quits taking pills) and she's knocked up by him.

Yeah, yeah, anecdotal evidence. I've yet to see a study that really shows across the board control numbers. There's been plenty of speculation, that's not evidence either.

Personally guys, if you want kids, have'em by 45 so you can still enjoy them being kids. OTOH, ladies, it's likely if a guy can still get it up and was 'normal' to begin with he hasn't hit the sell by date. Different biology: You have to support the growing parasite (er, kid), guys don't. That's the reason there's a 'sell-by' date on female fertility: gestating a kid is hard on the body. Heck, toward the end you can't even process enough nutrients eating to give the kid, so they start stealing them from your body. (e.g. calcium)

The article that this thread is about cites a study.


Yes, but that same study has been batted around already. I haven't seen the controls for couple age. Examples: equal age older, equal age younger, older female / younger male, younger female / older male. Every time I try to view it, I hit the pay wall. I'm not saying it's impossible, just that history (older men often date and marry younger women) seems to fly in the face of it. Heck, the only reason I think women have a sell-by date is because of the stress on her body's systems. My great-grandmother had 17 kids (13 which survived to adulthood, not a bad average really for the late 19th, early 20th century) but not one was from a man under 28. In fact 8 of them were from a man over 40.Of the 4 that died, only one was from the man over 40.

Again, I know, anecdotal evidence. History seems to be mocking this study. The only openly published numbers are from 20-24 and older than 45 for the males. We see no numbers for the mothers (it takes two to make a baby yet, right?) or the mix of couples. Should the study be comparing younger couples to older couples it's likely a lark. At that point he hasn't controlled for the female component variable. I'd also like to see the history of the parents, and their parents, for medical factors. There's no big shock if a kid has issues when his parent's have a family history of issues (even if they're 'normal' they can still carry the trouble)
 
2014-02-28 01:04:42 PM  

FunkOut: uber humper: FunkOut: cgraves67: Lady Beryl Ersatz-Wendigo: So have we determined a sell-by date for men?

I'd guess around 40 just like women. That's when sperm mutations start creeping up and increasing the likelihood of birth defects. Also sperm motility is down, decreasing the likelihood of even having babies, defective or otherwise.

I knew a kid in elementary school whose father was about 65. She had bifocals in kindergarten.

Not what you're thinking. It's her mother's fault. She must of had bad eyes, too

You're going to have to explain. I've seen a lot of people who had eyesight defects that didn't come from their mother but got it from their father.


her mother must of had bad eyesight to be with a man that much older.

no science.  just a joke

/not a very good one
 
2014-02-28 01:05:06 PM  

captjc: VladTheEmailer:  That's why I masturbate as soon as I get to my desk at 7:30am.

My cousin Walter jerked off in the office once. True story. He was in a meeting that wasn't going so well and there were talks of massive layoffs. They finally got around to his department, so he decides it's all over and whips it out and starts beating it right there on the boardroom table. So all the other coworkers take a cue from him and they start whipping it out and beating like mad. So all his coworkers are beating off, listening to the CEO rambling about failing corporate profits, when all of the sudden, snap! His department was one of the few profitable divisions and were going to get a slight budget increase for the year. The teleconference continues to the next department and everyone puts their pieces or, whatever, you know, away and go back to their desks. No one mentions the phenomenon to anyone else.


Meh, too gay.
 
2014-02-28 01:07:04 PM  

Myria: VladTheEmailer: Myria: I'm very smart and thus would be useful to prevent idiocracy like most Farkers (I suspect most visitors to this site are above average intelligence).  The problem is that I'm transgender, and have always wished I were female.  I have no desire at all to be a father - I wish that I could be a mother.

There's nothing stopping you being a mother.  You're just limited from being a  biological mother.

Isn't that the point of the subthread, to spread good genes?


Then what is it that you wish for?  You say you have no desire to be a father, only to be a mother.   So its not the 'raising the child' part? It is the 'emitting a baby from your body' part?     From what I understand (like you I am ill-equipped to have experienced it directly) the latter is the least fun part.   You can (obviously) still contribute genetic material, if you wanted.
 
2014-02-28 01:08:03 PM  

Abuse Liability: inglixthemad: Abuse Liability: FunkOut: Fafai: Shazam999: Pull out.

Right when it feels best? That goes against the instinct, too. I still prefer it to condoms. Been thinking of getting snipped for a while.

And you can get a woman pregnant from precum. Statstically low but it happens, especially if you have a good active sperm count.

Yep, it happens about as often as a failed condom.  These odds go even lower if you've urinated between when you last ejaculated and intercourse.  The fluid itself, secreted from the prostate has no semen but can often pick up 'trace' amounts.  It's main focus is to create a "less hostile" environment in the vagina, or rather, one more conducive to sperm life expectancy and motility.  Been utilizing coitus interruptus for years and it hasn't failed me.  The two kids I did  have took months of intentional seeding.

Yeesh, my last one took a month in my late 30's (we always knew when my wife was pregnant within a few days, she'd start puking at random times) and I thought I was slipping. Of course my wife was a fertile little baby maker as well.

We started at 27.  It's weird that it took me and most of my friends months to conceive.  It may be that we all started older or it may be that we're from Louisiana.  It's usually harder to knock your sister up.  Too many generations of inbreeding can cause sterility.

:-P


Meh, at least it worked without the expensive 'assistance.' We had one set of friends that tried for 2 years to get the first and 1 for the second. Talk about stress for them.

/turns out she did have a bit of a medical condition, don't remember what
 
2014-02-28 01:08:23 PM  

Myria: cgraves67: FarkingReading: cgraves67:

bad breath and the need to evacuate bowels and bladders

You are making me so hot.

Sprechen sie Deutsch?

Sprechen Sie Katzendeutsch?  Miau!  =^-^=


Machen Sie nicht!
 
2014-02-28 01:09:39 PM  

uber humper: FunkOut: uber humper: FunkOut: cgraves67: Lady Beryl Ersatz-Wendigo: So have we determined a sell-by date for men?

I'd guess around 40 just like women. That's when sperm mutations start creeping up and increasing the likelihood of birth defects. Also sperm motility is down, decreasing the likelihood of even having babies, defective or otherwise.

I knew a kid in elementary school whose father was about 65. She had bifocals in kindergarten.

Not what you're thinking. It's her mother's fault. She must of had bad eyes, too

You're going to have to explain. I've seen a lot of people who had eyesight defects that didn't come from their mother but got it from their father.

her mother must of had bad eyesight to be with a man that much older.

no science.  just a joke

/not a very good one


Ah, sorry. I still haven't had caffeine yet.

The family was Swedish. Maybe it could be pinned on Viking insanity.
 
2014-02-28 01:13:10 PM  
I can vouch for the DNA mutation of sperm. Mine have developed grappling hooks, a high wattage laser and directional thrusters. I'm presently training them in the art of safe cracking.

They train 4 times a day.
 
2014-02-28 01:14:16 PM  

inglixthemad: Abuse Liability: inglixthemad: Abuse Liability: FunkOut: Fafai: Shazam999: Pull out.

Right when it feels best? That goes against the instinct, too. I still prefer it to condoms. Been thinking of getting snipped for a while.

And you can get a woman pregnant from precum. Statstically low but it happens, especially if you have a good active sperm count.

Yep, it happens about as often as a failed condom.  These odds go even lower if you've urinated between when you last ejaculated and intercourse.  The fluid itself, secreted from the prostate has no semen but can often pick up 'trace' amounts.  It's main focus is to create a "less hostile" environment in the vagina, or rather, one more conducive to sperm life expectancy and motility.  Been utilizing coitus interruptus for years and it hasn't failed me.  The two kids I did  have took months of intentional seeding.

Yeesh, my last one took a month in my late 30's (we always knew when my wife was pregnant within a few days, she'd start puking at random times) and I thought I was slipping. Of course my wife was a fertile little baby maker as well.

We started at 27.  It's weird that it took me and most of my friends months to conceive.  It may be that we all started older or it may be that we're from Louisiana.  It's usually harder to knock your sister up.  Too many generations of inbreeding can cause sterility.

:-P

Meh, at least it worked without the expensive 'assistance.' We had one set of friends that tried for 2 years to get the first and 1 for the second. Talk about stress for them.

/turns out she did have a bit of a medical condition, don't remember what


It could have been much worse.  The drugs are expensive.  There also could have been miscarriages, implantation difficulty.  Other than the time it took we had no difficulties and we needed no assistance.  Thank God/Spaghetti Monster/Science
 
2014-02-28 01:20:26 PM  

blatz514: Diogenes: blatz514: vernonFL: Men are horniest in the morning.

Were you peeking in my bedroom window this morning?

/love morning sex

I recall a study that said, for dudes, 7am and 10pm.

That would explain my raging boners every morning.


Yep. Morning wood is a real thing.
 
2014-02-28 01:33:13 PM  
Am I the only one who RTFA, including subette? The "biological clock" has nothing to do with a drive to procreate. It says that as men get older, the chance that their offspring will have psychological disorders is higher.
 
2014-02-28 01:34:41 PM  
img.fark.net
 
2014-02-28 01:53:29 PM  

pseudoscience: Am I the only one who RTFA, including subette? The "biological clock" has nothing to do with a drive to procreate. It says that as men get older, the chance that their offspring will have psychological disorders is higher.


Without seeing how the study reached the actual numbers (they're behind a paywall), and how they controlled for age, it's pointless.

The breakdowns to prove it is the male would have to have controls like:

equal age couple (under 25)
equal age couple (under 35)
equal age couple (under 45)

older woman / younger man (35-45, under 30)

older man / younger woman (40-50, under 30)

Unless you provide controls, the study is worthless. Let's also not forget the relevant histories of each family. That has to go back, what, 3 generations on average to be useful? That's so you don't have statistical anomalies, like this group here had a bunch of people that should have been disqualified from participating lest they skew the results.

I'm not saying what the study says is impossible, just that it flies in the face of history. Also, the only reason I think women have a hardwired biological clock built into them is that carrying a kid is tough on her body. A woman that didn't become infertile that 'early' would be risking death constantly, especially without modern medicine. Imagine a 50 year old woman carrying a kid in the 18th century. Just making it to 50 (childbirth deaths were not uncommon) having kids was an accomplishment. Imagine asking her body to do it again at 50. That's just begging for the reaper to visit.
 
2014-02-28 02:10:16 PM  
...Subby.  No. That's not even  remotely what TFA said--TFA said that children of older fathers, like children of older mothers, are at a higher risk of developing disorders because the reproductive DNA is more likely to break down.

That is not a biological clock in any sense of the term.

/A biological clock is, say, that thing that tells you when it's bedtime or when to wake up. Or, in women, when to have your period. Or, in both genders, when your hair should grow v. rest. That thing.
 
2014-02-28 02:30:13 PM  
Living on your own has its perks.(Schwing) Your mom doesn't tell you

to turn down the stereo.That's a real drag.(Schwing) (Schwing) Because moms genetically hate music

played at the appropriate level. And my dad, forget about it (Schwing) (Schwing)(Schwing)(Schwing)

He'd ruin a led Zeppelin reunion concert you know what I mean? (Schwing)( Schwing) He hates music at

the appropriate  level.(Schwing)(Schwing)(Schwing)

But the shopkeeper and his son

was a different story altogether.
 
2014-02-28 02:57:18 PM  

TomD9938: Livinglush: I'm sure they would not forget to factor in that older men tend to with older women?

I'm assuming then that they did this analysis only on men who's baby carrying women were all of an identical age?


This was my question as well.  I guess it's too much to ask of TFA to tell us if the study meant there were men of all different ages having kids with women only aged 20 to 25, say and which kids came out screwy.


groppet: everytime I hear about people having a kid the first things I think of are the cost and the state of the world and that I am doing a potential kid a favor by not having one.


Sort of a preemptive suicide.


Age of the mom had minimal effect on the autism/schizo/bipolar issues.

Old moms give you Downs, not the crazy.
 
2014-02-28 03:40:29 PM  

inglixthemad: pseudoscience: Am I the only one who RTFA, including subette? The "biological clock" has nothing to do with a drive to procreate. It says that as men get older, the chance that their offspring will have psychological disorders is higher.

Without seeing how the study reached the actual numbers (they're behind a paywall), and how they controlled for age, it's pointless.

The breakdowns to prove it is the male would have to have controls like:

equal age couple (under 25)
equal age couple (under 35)
equal age couple (under 45)

older woman / younger man (35-45, under 30)

older man / younger woman (40-50, under 30)

Unless you provide controls, the study is worthless. Let's also not forget the relevant histories of each family. That has to go back, what, 3 generations on average to be useful? That's so you don't have statistical anomalies, like this group here had a bunch of people that should have been disqualified from participating lest they skew the results.

I'm not saying what the study says is impossible, just that it flies in the face of history. Also, the only reason I think women have a hardwired biological clock built into them is that carrying a kid is tough on her body. A woman that didn't become infertile that 'early' would be risking death constantly, especially without modern medicine. Imagine a 50 year old woman carrying a kid in the 18th century. Just making it to 50 (childbirth deaths were not uncommon) having kids was an accomplishment. Imagine asking her body to do it again at 50. That's just begging for the reaper to visit.


My comment was simply to point out that the article does not say at all what the fark headline says, and what people are commenting about.

However, the article does say a little about the study and how it was controlled.

While most studies on this subject simply compare children born to young fathers with those of older fathers, D'Onofrio calls that method "comparing apples and oranges, because we know that young fathers differ on many things compared to older fathers."
Instead, D'Onofrio and his colleagues compared siblings; looking at the outcomes when the same man has a child in his younger years and then again later in life.
"That enabled us to get a better understanding of what's truly due to the advancing father's age at childbearing," says D'Onofrio.


So they control for age and other factors by looking at siblings, and the hypothesis is that genetic mutations in sperm build up as the father ages. I believe they say the effect is small, and the result is relatively less severe psychiatric problems like ADHD, so I don't think it would go against history. Can't really say without reading it completely, but that's my 2 cents.
 
2014-02-28 04:35:44 PM  
I like to give the old clock a vigorous winding whether it needs it or not.
 
2014-02-28 11:28:05 PM  
We still fostering that "humans are meant to be monogamous" lie or have we woken up and smelled the science yet?
 
2014-03-01 01:16:56 AM  
I think Subette's theory is supported by that earlier story about the 72 year old masturbating substitute teacher.
 
2014-03-01 02:09:54 AM  

InterruptingQuirk: [backhomeblog.com image 500x268]


where did you get hidden video of lady gaga demanding more money from the devil?
 
2014-03-01 11:29:39 AM  

pseudoscience: inglixthemad: pseudoscience: Am I the only one who RTFA, including subette? The "biological clock" has nothing to do with a drive to procreate. It says that as men get older, the chance that their offspring will have psychological disorders is higher.

Without seeing how the study reached the actual numbers (they're behind a paywall), and how they controlled for age, it's pointless.

The breakdowns to prove it is the male would have to have controls like:

equal age couple (under 25)
equal age couple (under 35)
equal age couple (under 45)

older woman / younger man (35-45, under 30)

older man / younger woman (40-50, under 30)

Unless you provide controls, the study is worthless. Let's also not forget the relevant histories of each family. That has to go back, what, 3 generations on average to be useful? That's so you don't have statistical anomalies, like this group here had a bunch of people that should have been disqualified from participating lest they skew the results.

I'm not saying what the study says is impossible, just that it flies in the face of history. Also, the only reason I think women have a hardwired biological clock built into them is that carrying a kid is tough on her body. A woman that didn't become infertile that 'early' would be risking death constantly, especially without modern medicine. Imagine a 50 year old woman carrying a kid in the 18th century. Just making it to 50 (childbirth deaths were not uncommon) having kids was an accomplishment. Imagine asking her body to do it again at 50. That's just begging for the reaper to visit.

My comment was simply to point out that the article does not say at all what the fark headline says, and what people are commenting about.

However, the article does say a little about the study and how it was controlled.

While most studies on this subject simply compare children born to young fathers with those of older fathers, D'Onofrio calls that method "comparing apples and oranges, because we know that yo ...




Which still might not be a valid control. My cousin has babies (5) with her husband before 30. They decide for one more when he's 45 and she's 39. The last baby has issues, so what caused the issues? Would the last baby have had issues if she was younger, or him?
 
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