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(AP)   Settle down people, those South Park guys have it all wrong. People don't get their own planets in the afterlife   (hosted.ap.org) divider line 33
    More: Strange, South Park  
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10049 clicks; posted to Main » on 27 Feb 2014 at 7:38 PM (41 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



Voting Results (Smartest)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

2014-02-27 06:52:06 PM  
9 votes:
So are they going to back off on the belief that the native Americans came from Israel?  Or any of their other phony archaeology that science has debunked?

Also, I love to point out that a book report on the Book of Mormon written by Mark Twain exists, and it is awesome.   http://www.mrm.org/topics/documents-speeches/mark-twains-review-book- m ormon
2014-02-27 09:02:08 PM  
8 votes:
I was raised Mormon. One of the things I was told over and over and over again while growing up was that if I did all the things I was supposed to do as a good little Mormon (and be male) I could someday become a god with my own world to rule over.

This is ABSOLUTELY what they believe.

The Mormon church has in recent years been pushing for more mainstream acceptance in American society. This is where the "I'm a Mormon" ads have come from. They want to convince everyone that they are just like the rest of us and are not the weirdo cult they have developed a reputation for. Part of this is distancing themselves from the kookier parts of Mormon theology such as the one we have here.
2014-02-27 06:32:39 PM  
6 votes:
For those that miss it way down at the very bottom of the AP article, here is the link direct to the post on the LDS site.
https://www.lds.org/topics/becoming-like-god?lang=eng

And here is the scripture that the get their own planets when they die comes from, it was not quoted in full on the essay.
""Then will they become Gods...they will never cease to increase and to multiply, worlds without end. When they receive their crowns, their dominions, they then will be prepared to frame earths like unto ours and to people them in the same manner as we have been brought forth by our parents, by our Father and God" Brigham Young, Journal of Discourses 17:143 "

And more quotes that imply you become like god and get to populate your own worlds:
http://exmormon.org/d6/drupal/Mormons-get-their-own-worlds
2014-02-27 08:20:27 PM  
5 votes:

obamadidcoke: Great article except it fails to mention that the belief system is was  completely made up by a psychopath.


Aren't they all?
2014-02-27 07:47:21 PM  
5 votes:
Not what they told me when I was a Mormon.

Sounds like another whitewash of the theology to me.  One of the reasons the early discourses of Brigham Young are very hard to find. (The Mormon church has a long history of racism, crank scientific ideas, and just weird theology.)

Mormons are taught to ignore the outside world and its ideas. They get fed a bunch of nonsense by hacks like Hugh Nibley and other liars for the church. Every once in a while they try and hide their beliefs in things like the Flood of Noah, the Tower of Babel, the literal Garden of Eden, as well as a belief in Creationism and crank politics by people like Skousen.

I just wish my family had enough sense to get awy from the cult of Mormon. Rots their brains and makes them believe people like Glenn Beck.
2014-02-27 07:53:18 PM  
4 votes:
FTA: "A newly posted article affirms the faith's belief that humans can become like God in eternity, but says the "cartoonish image of people receiving their own planets" is not how members of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints envision it."

Yes, that's just absurd.

"I contend that we are both atheists. I just believe in one fewer god than you do. When you understand why you dismiss all the other possible gods, you will understand why I dismiss yours." -- Stephen Roberts
2014-02-28 12:28:43 AM  
3 votes:

nekom: So are they going to back off on the belief that the native Americans came from Israel?  Or any of their other phony archaeology that science has debunked?

Also, I love to point out that a book report on the Book of Mormon written by Mark Twain exists, and it is awesome.   http://www.mrm.org/topics/documents-speeches/mark-twains-review-book- m ormon


Omg, that is the best thing ever.  Twain's thoughts were pretty much exactly what was going through my head when I read the Book of Mormon.  When the missionaries came by my house, I asked them "why would a dude living in America around the time of Emerson and Thoreau 'translate' something into King-James-style English, unless he was trying to dupe naive Christians into following his bogus religion?"  They didn't have an answer.
2014-02-27 11:41:41 PM  
3 votes:

nekom: So are they going to back off on the belief that the native Americans came from Israel?  Or any of their other phony archaeology that science has debunked?

Also, I love to point out that a book report on the Book of Mormon written by Mark Twain exists, and it is awesome.   http://www.mrm.org/topics/documents-speeches/mark-twains-review-book- m ormon


Thanks for that. I value Mr. Twains opinion of all things.

Here's a weird story for those who are not familiar with this brand of American Lunacy:
And it came to pass,,,that I spent a week in Salt Lake City, Utah one time. Wherefore in those days the Book of Moroni came illustrated with color reproductions of what I thought were paintings.

But if you took the tour of the Visitors Center to the Mormon Temple in Salt Lake City, Utah you find out that those weren't mere paintings - they were reproductions of giant wall murals. And I do mean giant. These murals are several stories tall and as wide as a city block on the walls inside the vast Visitors Center to the Mormon Temple in Salt Lake City, Utah.

Salt Lake City is the most Mormony Mormon city on this whole planet. And a state capital where the temple is bigger than the capital building. These were huge paintings indeed, of places and people that never existed. And events that never happened. No geological record. No cultural record. No genetic record. Purely imaginary. One might even go so far as to say, fraudulent.

And I was surrounded by an admiring crowd that kept nodding and smiling as the tour guide explained the significance of each one...

It was the closest I ever came to being in a Twilight Zone episode. I've never been back.
2014-02-27 09:53:32 PM  
3 votes:
That's (the planet thing) exactly what they taught my wife before she escaped their clutches. Sadly, she simply escaped to anothe cult (Christian Fellowship Ministries, http://www.worldcfm.com/ ), another real piece of work. She's still recovering from the damage they caused. Neither of these organizations is about Christianity, they, like the Scientologists, are simply about power, control, and $$$.
2014-02-27 08:32:56 PM  
3 votes:
The myth has been around long before South Park or their musical Mainly because it isn't a myth just word play.  Mormons believe if they good they get their own "kingdom" where they are god.

i.ytimg.com
2014-02-27 08:21:55 PM  
3 votes:
except Europa
attempt no landing there
2014-02-27 07:41:36 PM  
3 votes:
At least they aren't walking back the claim that God changed his mind about black people in 1978.
2014-02-27 10:57:59 PM  
2 votes:
According to Evangelical and Fundamentalisit Christians, LDS (Mormons) teach that Jesus and Satan are spiritual brothers. God had sex with Mary. Magic underwear. Planet Kolob. etc.etc. etc.
Before Mitt Romney, the majority of Fundamentalist and Evangelicals considered the LDS church to be a "cult". Now that Mittens has been vanquished by Fartbongo, the majority of Evangelicals will STILL tell you that Mormonism and Jehovah's Witnesses belong to a cult. They believe them to have 'false doctrine and teachings" and if they trust you enough to actually open up and share their deepest personal beliefs, many believe that the members of either of these two churches will never "enter into the Kingdom of God".  Jehovah's Witness won't go to fundamentalist heaven, because they don't believe in a Holy Trinity and don't even get me started on how the majority of Fundamentalist view the "Mary worshiping", "Papist" Catholics.

One of the best kept Evangelical secrets is how much they they really hate the other so-called 'Christian' faiths. They will pretend that they share common beliefs about  the gays, abortion and guns, but deep down, when it comes to "eternal life" and "being with Jesus in Heaven", that only the "true Bible-believing Christians (like themselves) will inherit the Kingdom of God. Those Jack Chick comics you love to laugh about so much...Evangelicals buy about 80-95% of ALL the doctrine that Brother Chick espouses.

Now in regards to the Jews, they won't get to Heaven, because they will not accept Jesus as their personal Lord and Savior or acknowledge that that he is the one true messiah, the Son of God. They believe that once the Rapture comes, that the Evangelicals will be lifted up to Heaven, just like in "This Is The End" movie. When that happens, they believe that the Jews will FINALLY "see the light" once they see China and Russia marching on Jerusalem in a final apocalyptic battle with the Antichrist.

Just like baseball, you folks will enjoy the game so much more, If  you know the rules and how to score the game.
2014-02-27 07:58:27 PM  
2 votes:

Angela Lansbury's Merkin: For those that miss it way down at the very bottom of the AP article, here is the link direct to the post on the LDS site.
https://www.lds.org/topics/becoming-like-god?lang=eng

And here is the scripture that the get their own planets when they die comes from, it was not quoted in full on the essay.
""Then will they become Gods...they will never cease to increase and to multiply, worlds without end. When they receive their crowns, their dominions, they then will be prepared to frame earths like unto ours and to people them in the same manner as we have been brought forth by our parents, by our Father and God" Brigham Young, Journal of Discourses 17:143 "

And more quotes that imply you become like god and get to populate your own worlds:
http://exmormon.org/d6/drupal/Mormons-get-their-own-worlds


So you receive MORE than one planet.
2014-02-28 10:00:10 AM  
1 votes:
"As man now is, God once was.  As God now is, man may become."

This line of horseshiat is called "The Law of Eternal Progression," and it *IS* still taught today.
2014-02-28 06:16:30 AM  
1 votes:

A Terrible Human: Lol Mormonism is always hilarious because of how dumb it sounds.


Imagine for a moment, you are a man with no religion whatsoever and never have even heard of such a thing. Some fool comes along and explains <any religion> to you in an attempt to get you to join him.

They all sound hilariously dumb.
2014-02-28 03:49:12 AM  
1 votes:

panfake: So, like, FarmVille and all those other "villes" is pretty much like afterlife training for Mormons?


Too young to remember Populous?
2014-02-28 03:47:34 AM  
1 votes:
We were made after his image. So that means its image only and not potential? I would say we have the potential to become more but many will not make the cut.
2014-02-28 03:35:17 AM  
1 votes:
My parents went through a brief stint with LDS, and I vividly remember them teaching us about ascending into godship if you lived your life as a good Mormon. They had a chart with the three levels of heaven, the lowest being for the common man and the higher levels for the good Mormons and the not so good Mormons. Hell is reserved for those who joined the church and left. So, I'll see you Farkers there.

Also, they believe Satan is the jealous sibling of Jesus, and that everyone was given the choice of accepting a life on earth, or banishment to hell in the spirit world before they were born after Satan rebelled against God.

All of this was back before South Park existed. And obviously they don't teach you any of this until after you've been a part of their church for a while. My dad reverted back after I moved out, and I attended a service. I couldn't help but notice that everyone still dresses like it's 1989, and they have a disturbingly cheery disposition.

Nice people, and they do a lot of good things to help out their community, unlike most sects of Christianity, but they do indeed have some bizarre doctrines.
2014-02-28 02:34:00 AM  
1 votes:
Clarifying the finer points of your religous beliefs is like explaining why Unicorns are white
2014-02-28 02:30:11 AM  
1 votes:

Glendale: Well mine's going to have hookers. And blackjack.


4.bp.blogspot.com
2014-02-28 12:51:32 AM  
1 votes:

BlackArt: Not what they told me when I was a Mormon.


An overzealous Mormon who was trying to convert me told me the whole "get your own planet" thing back in the 80's.  I say "overzealous" because the church has a policy called "Milk before meat" which essentially translates to "save the really weird stuff for after they've already converted", and this guy wasn't following it.
2014-02-27 11:48:33 PM  
1 votes:

Angela Lansbury's Merkin: And more quotes that imply you become like god and get to populate your own worlds:
http://exmormon.org/d6/drupal/Mormons-get-their-own-worlds


Hey, the Catholics have one of those too:
CCC 460:  79 "For the Son of God became man so that we might become God."80 "The only-begotten Son of God, wanting to make us sharers in his divinity, assumed our nature, so that he, made man, might make men gods."81

http://carm.org/ccc-460
2014-02-27 11:45:35 PM  
1 votes:
Well mine's going to have hookers. And blackjack.
2014-02-27 10:53:56 PM  
1 votes:
I know, I am just getting old, and I love the south park guys, but they just won't let up on the Mormons.
I mean sure a few joke and maybe an episode about "haha your belief is stupid because we say so haha". But then a musical that will never go away? Seems really dickish and I can't stand Mormons.
Are they making comedy or just using free speech to bash a minority group they don't like?
2014-02-27 10:13:44 PM  
1 votes:

stoli n coke: At least they aren't walking back the claim that God changed his mind about black people in 1978.


Or that the Garden of Eden was in Jackson County, Missouri!

/love that song
2014-02-27 09:28:24 PM  
1 votes:
When I was raised Mormon, I was taught I would get my own Universe.  What's this "only one planet" business?
2014-02-27 08:56:51 PM  
1 votes:
Hasa diga eebowai
2014-02-27 08:33:04 PM  
1 votes:
They still have funny underpants, right?
2014-02-27 08:24:29 PM  
1 votes:
What Kiwis believe

i62.tinypic.com
2014-02-27 08:22:04 PM  
1 votes:

nekom: So are they going to back off on the belief that the native Americans came from Israel?  Or any of their other phony archaeology that science has debunked?


They did come from Israel and they did so by traveling in a large wooden ships sealed with a wooden lid with a hole in it that you can uncork when you need to get a breath. I'm not sure what what sort of propulsion system could be used in a ship designed like that but I'm sure the story is true because it came from looking into the magic hat of a known con artist.
2014-02-27 08:02:16 PM  
1 votes:
Dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb
2014-02-27 07:54:46 PM  
1 votes:
I have enough problems dealing with 120 acres.  Having to maintain a whole planet?  Ugh, no thanks.
 
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