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(AP)   Settle down people, those South Park guys have it all wrong. People don't get their own planets in the afterlife   (hosted.ap.org) divider line 124
    More: Strange, South Park  
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10049 clicks; posted to Main » on 27 Feb 2014 at 7:38 PM (41 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2014-02-27 06:20:53 PM  
asset-c.soup.io
 
2014-02-27 06:32:39 PM  
For those that miss it way down at the very bottom of the AP article, here is the link direct to the post on the LDS site.
https://www.lds.org/topics/becoming-like-god?lang=eng

And here is the scripture that the get their own planets when they die comes from, it was not quoted in full on the essay.
""Then will they become Gods...they will never cease to increase and to multiply, worlds without end. When they receive their crowns, their dominions, they then will be prepared to frame earths like unto ours and to people them in the same manner as we have been brought forth by our parents, by our Father and God" Brigham Young, Journal of Discourses 17:143 "

And more quotes that imply you become like god and get to populate your own worlds:
http://exmormon.org/d6/drupal/Mormons-get-their-own-worlds
 
2014-02-27 06:52:06 PM  
So are they going to back off on the belief that the native Americans came from Israel?  Or any of their other phony archaeology that science has debunked?

Also, I love to point out that a book report on the Book of Mormon written by Mark Twain exists, and it is awesome.   http://www.mrm.org/topics/documents-speeches/mark-twains-review-book- m ormon
 
2014-02-27 07:41:36 PM  
At least they aren't walking back the claim that God changed his mind about black people in 1978.
 
2014-02-27 07:47:17 PM  
Lol Mormonism is always hilarious because of how dumb it sounds.
 
2014-02-27 07:47:21 PM  
Not what they told me when I was a Mormon.

Sounds like another whitewash of the theology to me.  One of the reasons the early discourses of Brigham Young are very hard to find. (The Mormon church has a long history of racism, crank scientific ideas, and just weird theology.)

Mormons are taught to ignore the outside world and its ideas. They get fed a bunch of nonsense by hacks like Hugh Nibley and other liars for the church. Every once in a while they try and hide their beliefs in things like the Flood of Noah, the Tower of Babel, the literal Garden of Eden, as well as a belief in Creationism and crank politics by people like Skousen.

I just wish my family had enough sense to get awy from the cult of Mormon. Rots their brains and makes them believe people like Glenn Beck.
 
2014-02-27 07:53:18 PM  
FTA: "A newly posted article affirms the faith's belief that humans can become like God in eternity, but says the "cartoonish image of people receiving their own planets" is not how members of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints envision it."

Yes, that's just absurd.

"I contend that we are both atheists. I just believe in one fewer god than you do. When you understand why you dismiss all the other possible gods, you will understand why I dismiss yours." -- Stephen Roberts
 
2014-02-27 07:54:46 PM  
I have enough problems dealing with 120 acres.  Having to maintain a whole planet?  Ugh, no thanks.
 
2014-02-27 07:58:27 PM  

Angela Lansbury's Merkin: For those that miss it way down at the very bottom of the AP article, here is the link direct to the post on the LDS site.
https://www.lds.org/topics/becoming-like-god?lang=eng

And here is the scripture that the get their own planets when they die comes from, it was not quoted in full on the essay.
""Then will they become Gods...they will never cease to increase and to multiply, worlds without end. When they receive their crowns, their dominions, they then will be prepared to frame earths like unto ours and to people them in the same manner as we have been brought forth by our parents, by our Father and God" Brigham Young, Journal of Discourses 17:143 "

And more quotes that imply you become like god and get to populate your own worlds:
http://exmormon.org/d6/drupal/Mormons-get-their-own-worlds


So you receive MORE than one planet.
 
2014-02-27 07:58:58 PM  
Any Mormons that still want a planet can switch over to MY made up religion. I guarantee TWO planets! And unlimited Coke*

*trademark the Coca-Cola Company
 
2014-02-27 08:02:16 PM  
Dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb
 
2014-02-27 08:02:52 PM  
schweet. my own planet.
 
2014-02-27 08:04:12 PM  
"Just kidding. Black people are as good as whites. Also I hear you've run out of naive Europeans to exploit. Lol"
-Mormon God, 1978
 
2014-02-27 08:04:33 PM  

itsaidwhat: Any Mormons that still want a planet can switch over to MY made up religion. I guarantee TWO planets! And unlimited Coke*

*trademark the Coca-Cola Company


My faith guarantees eternal salvation or triple your money back.
 
2014-02-27 08:04:42 PM  
The Scientologists told me that if I'm really good I get my own Death Star in the afterlife....
 
2014-02-27 08:05:15 PM  

Angela Lansbury's Merkin: For those that miss it way down at the very bottom of the AP article, here is the link direct to the post on the LDS site.
https://www.lds.org/topics/becoming-like-god?lang=eng

And here is the scripture that the get their own planets when they die comes from, it was not quoted in full on the essay.
""Then will they become Gods...they will never cease to increase and to multiply, worlds without end. When they receive their crowns, their dominions, they then will be prepared to frame earths like unto ours and to people them in the same manner as we have been brought forth by our parents, by our Father and God" Brigham Young, Journal of Discourses 17:143 "

And more quotes that imply you become like god and get to populate your own worlds:
http://exmormon.org/d6/drupal/Mormons-get-their-own-worlds


That's all well and good, but I hope the terrain generator is worth a damn, and there's something to do besides building up your number of followers. Also, will multiplayer be available?
 
2014-02-27 08:06:13 PM  
You only get a mansion.
 
2014-02-27 08:06:39 PM  

Molavian: You only get a mansion.


And a yacht?
 
2014-02-27 08:08:35 PM  
Oops.

www.waldoscampustavern.com

There.
 
2014-02-27 08:10:35 PM  
"When we we said that we want to control your existence through shame, fear, and ostracization we totally didn't mean it."
 
2014-02-27 08:14:03 PM  
You believe what you wanna believe ....

i57.tinypic.com
 
2014-02-27 08:15:51 PM  

buckler: Angela Lansbury's Merkin: For those that miss it way down at the very bottom of the AP article, here is the link direct to the post on the LDS site.
https://www.lds.org/topics/becoming-like-god?lang=eng

And here is the scripture that the get their own planets when they die comes from, it was not quoted in full on the essay.
""Then will they become Gods...they will never cease to increase and to multiply, worlds without end. When they receive their crowns, their dominions, they then will be prepared to frame earths like unto ours and to people them in the same manner as we have been brought forth by our parents, by our Father and God" Brigham Young, Journal of Discourses 17:143 "

And more quotes that imply you become like god and get to populate your own worlds:
http://exmormon.org/d6/drupal/Mormons-get-their-own-worlds

That's all well and good, but I hope the terrain generator is worth a damn, and there's something to do besides building up your number of followers. Also, will multiplayer be available?


Multiplayer will come in a future patch. Having your own planet requires that you be always online.
 
2014-02-27 08:19:16 PM  
i61.tinypic.com
 
2014-02-27 08:20:27 PM  

obamadidcoke: Great article except it fails to mention that the belief system is was  completely made up by a psychopath.


Aren't they all?
 
2014-02-27 08:21:55 PM  
except Europa
attempt no landing there
 
2014-02-27 08:21:58 PM  

BlackArt: Not what they told me when I was a Mormon.


Former mormon.. I concur.
 
2014-02-27 08:22:04 PM  

nekom: So are they going to back off on the belief that the native Americans came from Israel?  Or any of their other phony archaeology that science has debunked?


They did come from Israel and they did so by traveling in a large wooden ships sealed with a wooden lid with a hole in it that you can uncork when you need to get a breath. I'm not sure what what sort of propulsion system could be used in a ship designed like that but I'm sure the story is true because it came from looking into the magic hat of a known con artist.
 
2014-02-27 08:22:50 PM  
So, when I get my own planet can I bring my 72 virgins and give it a cool name instead of a seemingly random number? I'll call it Fappos and the rocks will be made of cheddah. The lakes will be filled with St Peter's Cream Stout and shaving will not be necessary.

I'm liking this idea. Where do I sign?
 
2014-02-27 08:24:23 PM  
i'd rather have booze and caffeine on this planet than getting my own.
 
2014-02-27 08:24:29 PM  
What Kiwis believe

i62.tinypic.com
 
2014-02-27 08:27:35 PM  
i21.photobucket.com
 
2014-02-27 08:29:55 PM  

buckler: Molavian: You only get a mansion.

And a yacht?


with a car elevator?
 
2014-02-27 08:32:56 PM  
The myth has been around long before South Park or their musical Mainly because it isn't a myth just word play.  Mormons believe if they good they get their own "kingdom" where they are god.

i.ytimg.com
 
2014-02-27 08:33:04 PM  
They still have funny underpants, right?
 
2014-02-27 08:33:12 PM  

SpdrJay: The Scientologists told me that if I'm really good I get my own Death Star in the afterlife....


And when Scientologist Death Stars go to war with Mormon planets, we will have finally found what happened a long time ago in a galaxy far, far away...
 
2014-02-27 08:39:40 PM  
So, that means I don't stand a chance to get Uranus?
 
2014-02-27 08:41:05 PM  
I was thinking the other day, wouldn't it be deliciously ironic if its was Scientology that turned out to be the one true religion. I'd love to see a South Park rendition of 'Scientology Heaven'.
 
2014-02-27 08:53:52 PM  
ts2.mm.bing.net
If I can't have my own can  hang out at Kennys?
 
2014-02-27 08:56:51 PM  
Hasa diga eebowai
 
2014-02-27 09:02:08 PM  
I was raised Mormon. One of the things I was told over and over and over again while growing up was that if I did all the things I was supposed to do as a good little Mormon (and be male) I could someday become a god with my own world to rule over.

This is ABSOLUTELY what they believe.

The Mormon church has in recent years been pushing for more mainstream acceptance in American society. This is where the "I'm a Mormon" ads have come from. They want to convince everyone that they are just like the rest of us and are not the weirdo cult they have developed a reputation for. Part of this is distancing themselves from the kookier parts of Mormon theology such as the one we have here.
 
2014-02-27 09:07:13 PM  
So the Mormons get 72 Virginias?
 
2014-02-27 09:09:45 PM  
Thought they all we t yo the secret planet KOLOB. Secret planet...
 
2014-02-27 09:24:10 PM  

mjjt: [i61.tinypic.com image 500x924]


Thank you for the hearty laugh, kind sir.
 
2014-02-27 09:25:18 PM  

buckler: That's all well and good, but I hope the terrain generator is worth a damn, and there's something to do besides building up your number of followers. Also, will multiplayer be available?


Have you read the Old Testament?
 
2014-02-27 09:28:24 PM  
When I was raised Mormon, I was taught I would get my own Universe.  What's this "only one planet" business?
 
2014-02-27 09:30:06 PM  

skyotter: except Europa
attempt no landing there


Good movie
 
2014-02-27 09:40:48 PM  

The Larch: obamadidcoke: Great article except it fails to mention that the belief system is was  completely made up by a psychopath.

Aren't they all?


To be fair I'm sure some of them were just garden variety charlatans.
 
2014-02-27 09:42:22 PM  

Donkey Hodie: When I was raised Mormon, I was taught I would get my own Universe.  What's this "only one planet" business?


Cutbacks. I'm sure you understand. Honestly we didn't expect the uptake to be so impressive. To make up for the change in service, we're offering a free copy of the introductory manual So Now You Are A God, and a half-price subscription to Clever Creations, which has a whole range of fantastic ideas for your world. This is of course all in addition to our Mark of Cain removal service, White-Out, which has been getting rave reviews. So. Here is your scratch-n-sniff planetary catalog. Once you make your selection, take it to the Installation desk around back. Thank you come again!
 
2014-02-27 09:43:01 PM  

Barry Lyndon's Annuity Cheque: SpdrJay: The Scientologists told me that if I'm really good I get my own Death Star in the afterlife....

And when Scientologist Death Stars go to war with Mormon planets, we will have finally found what happened a long time ago in a galaxy far, far away...


i287.photobucket.com
 
2014-02-27 09:53:32 PM  
That's (the planet thing) exactly what they taught my wife before she escaped their clutches. Sadly, she simply escaped to anothe cult (Christian Fellowship Ministries, http://www.worldcfm.com/ ), another real piece of work. She's still recovering from the damage they caused. Neither of these organizations is about Christianity, they, like the Scientologists, are simply about power, control, and $$$.
 
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