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(Short List)   Armond White hated eight of the nine Best Picture nominees this year   (shortlist.com ) divider line
    More: Obvious, Armond White, best picture, American Hustle, Spike Jonze, Joss Whedon, feature length, Rotten Tomatoes, Steve McQueen  
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3255 clicks; posted to Entertainment » on 27 Feb 2014 at 1:08 PM (2 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2014-02-27 01:10:30 PM  
If he didn't troll, no one would even know his name.
 
2014-02-27 01:10:39 PM  
I hated them all enough to not bother seeing them.
 
2014-02-27 01:14:34 PM  
He really does seem like a worthless ass of a human.
 
2014-02-27 01:18:57 PM  
A little more on White, who isn't.

My current favorite reviewer is Wesley Morris.  His writing is phenomenal.  Read him even if you have no intention of seeing the movie he is reviewing.
 
2014-02-27 01:19:14 PM  
I admit I like the cut of his jib. He is right about Pixar.
 
2014-02-27 01:19:53 PM  

Nana's Vibrator: A little more on White, who isn't.

My current favorite reviewer is Wesley Morris.  His writing is phenomenal.  Read him even if you have no intention of seeing the movie he is reviewing.


I love his writing, but I don't agree w/ him most of the time. He thought the Lego Movie was cynical.
 
2014-02-27 01:20:22 PM  

Blues_X: He really does seem like a worthless ass of a human.


I always pictured him as this kid:
warosu.org

He's contrarian just for the sake of it.
 
2014-02-27 01:21:30 PM  
The only one of the nominees I found truly disappointing was Captain Phillips. It felt like a collection of good performances in the service of nothing. It never managed to really make me feel or think about anything in particular, apart from how long it was going to take the last act to finally draw to a conclusion.
 
2014-02-27 01:22:28 PM  
Armond White needs to go out of town with his honey.

Please don't sit him next to me at dinner.  I'd get dizzy from watching him lean away in every direction with his fingers under his chin.

2.bp.blogspot.com
 
2014-02-27 01:23:08 PM  
I like this guy...the only movie he liked.  American Hustle because where else can you get Jennifer Lawenerce and Amy Adams together..hahah


That's a nice picture of her boob in the link.
 
2014-02-27 01:23:59 PM  
No he didn't, he just said he did because that gets him attention.
 
2014-02-27 01:24:24 PM  
So what I'm getting is, American Hustle was probably overrated.
 
2014-02-27 01:25:05 PM  
I consider it a tool, like 'oh wow that Armond White guy really really hated __________, think I'll check it out.'
 
2014-02-27 01:25:54 PM  

Nana's Vibrator: A little more on White, who isn't.

My current favorite reviewer is Wesley Morris.  His writing is phenomenal.  Read him even if you have no intention of seeing the movie he is reviewing.


Oh, no. He's Black?

Well that ruins it for me. I totes had no idea. He must be wrong somehow.

A Black, commenting on movies! What a novel age we live in. I bet it unnerves the Jewry. You know they run Hollywood. Can he play basketball?

/Yet he is so articulate!
 
2014-02-27 01:26:58 PM  
I love Armond White. His reviews have no bearing whatsoever on whatever he's trying to offer a critque of. He's not even wrong. It's like he comes up with insane theories on societal issues and then watches a movie and then crams his societal rant into the context of reveiwing a movie.
 
2014-02-27 01:30:45 PM  

legion_of_doo: Nana's Vibrator: A little more on White, who isn't.

My current favorite reviewer is Wesley Morris.  His writing is phenomenal.  Read him even if you have no intention of seeing the movie he is reviewing.

Oh, no. He's Black?

Well that ruins it for me. I totes had no idea. He must be wrong somehow.

A Black, commenting on movies! What a novel age we live in. I bet it unnerves the Jewry. You know they run Hollywood. Can he play basketball?

/Yet he is so articulate!


your medicine.  take it.
 
2014-02-27 01:30:48 PM  
"Just don't look, just don't look."
 
2014-02-27 01:31:22 PM  

error 303: I love Armond White. His reviews have no bearing whatsoever on whatever he's trying to offer a critque of. He's not even wrong. It's like he comes up with insane theories on societal issues and then watches a movie and then crams his societal rant into the context of reveiwing a movie.


There was a period of six months (maybe longer) where every review he wrote was basically "It's no Munich."
 
2014-02-27 01:33:41 PM  
Ignore the troll and he'll vanish into ether.
 
2014-02-27 01:38:31 PM  

whosits_112: Blues_X: He really does seem like a worthless ass of a human.

I always pictured him as this kid:


He's contrarian just for the sake of it.


No he isn't.
 
2014-02-27 01:40:17 PM  
If you have ever enjoyed a movie or show that everyone else said was bad, White pulls the same thing on them.
 
2014-02-27 01:48:24 PM  

FarkingReading: whosits_112: Blues_X: He really does seem like a worthless ass of a human.

I always pictured him as this kid:


He's contrarian just for the sake of it.

No he isn't.


Well, unlike him, I can admit it when I'm wrong. If he isn't, then he's just an asshole.
 
2014-02-27 01:52:42 PM  
Armond White is a Key & Peele sketch without the brilliant humor.
 
2014-02-27 01:55:40 PM  
FarkingReading:
(funny'ed)
 
2014-02-27 02:00:32 PM  

whosits_112: FarkingReading: whosits_112: Blues_X: He really does seem like a worthless ass of a human.

I always pictured him as this kid:


He's contrarian just for the sake of it.

No he isn't.

Well, unlike him, I can admit it when I'm wrong. If he isn't, then he's just an asshole.


The joke... ah, nevermind.

I think he can admit when he is wrong, despite his limitations (you know, his race and all, mentioned previously).

He was 100% right on Wall-E, though, and that makes some of you people mad.

/totally never more serious than in this thread
/Wall-E was pretty turrible, however. Not actually kidding about my agreement with White on that one.
 
2014-02-27 02:01:40 PM  
Armond White is a medley of C-SPAN and tuberculosis.
 
2014-02-27 02:04:14 PM  
to be fair gravity really was that bizarre type of movie where the actors and dialogue did nothing but hurt it
 
2014-02-27 02:08:57 PM  

sprawl15: to be fair gravity really was that bizarre type of movie where the actors and dialogue did nothing but hurt it


Apparently not.  But, opinion, such and such...
 
2014-02-27 02:14:49 PM  

legion_of_doo: Nana's Vibrator: A little more on White, who isn't.

My current favorite reviewer is Wesley Morris.  His writing is phenomenal.  Read him even if you have no intention of seeing the movie he is reviewing.

Oh, no. He's Black?

Well that ruins it for me. I totes had no idea. He must be wrong somehow.

A Black, commenting on movies! What a novel age we live in. I bet it unnerves the Jewry. You know they run Hollywood. Can he play basketball?

/Yet he is so articulate!


Blacks have been commenting on movies on video, too!   Aaaand, they're vocally disagreeing with the attractive white women!

Society has certainly changed in recent years....
 
2014-02-27 02:19:13 PM  

Seraphym: legion_of_doo: Nana's Vibrator: A little more on White, who isn't.

My current favorite reviewer is Wesley Morris.  His writing is phenomenal.  Read him even if you have no intention of seeing the movie he is reviewing.

Oh, no. He's Black?

Well that ruins it for me. I totes had no idea. He must be wrong somehow.

A Black, commenting on movies! What a novel age we live in. I bet it unnerves the Jewry. You know they run Hollywood. Can he play basketball?

/Yet he is so articulate!

Blacks have been commenting on movies on video, too!   Aaaand, they're vocally disagreeing with the attractive white women!

Society has certainly changed in recent years....


WTF are you retards babbling about?
 
2014-02-27 02:29:50 PM  

thamike: Seraphym: legion_of_doo: Nana's Vibrator: A little more on White, who isn't.

My current favorite reviewer is Wesley Morris.  His writing is phenomenal.  Read him even if you have no intention of seeing the movie he is reviewing.

Oh, no. He's Black?

Well that ruins it for me. I totes had no idea. He must be wrong somehow.

A Black, commenting on movies! What a novel age we live in. I bet it unnerves the Jewry. You know they run Hollywood. Can he play basketball?

/Yet he is so articulate!

Blacks have been commenting on movies on video, too!   Aaaand, they're vocally disagreeing with the attractive white women!

Society has certainly changed in recent years....

WTF are you retards babbling about?


Armond White is ironically a Black! Shocking, isn't it?!

It certainly affects how we should interpret his movie articles.

(Although perhaps he had someone to help him write his so-called reviews.)
 
2014-02-27 02:31:03 PM  

Thunderboy: error 303: I love Armond White. His reviews have no bearing whatsoever on whatever he's trying to offer a critque of. He's not even wrong. It's like he comes up with insane theories on societal issues and then watches a movie and then crams his societal rant into the context of reveiwing a movie.

There was a period of six months (maybe longer) where every review he wrote was basically "It's no Munich."


His Toy Story 3 review is basically "It's no Transformers".
 
2014-02-27 02:36:16 PM  

legion_of_doo: thamike: Seraphym: legion_of_doo: Nana's Vibrator: A little more on White, who isn't.

My current favorite reviewer is Wesley Morris.  His writing is phenomenal.  Read him even if you have no intention of seeing the movie he is reviewing.

Oh, no. He's Black?

Well that ruins it for me. I totes had no idea. He must be wrong somehow.

A Black, commenting on movies! What a novel age we live in. I bet it unnerves the Jewry. You know they run Hollywood. Can he play basketball?

/Yet he is so articulate!

Blacks have been commenting on movies on video, too!   Aaaand, they're vocally disagreeing with the attractive white women!

Society has certainly changed in recent years....

WTF are you retards babbling about?

Armond White is ironically a Black! Shocking, isn't it?!

It certainly affects how we should interpret his movie articles.

(Although perhaps he had someone to help him write his so-called reviews.)


explain to everyone why you find this shocking.  Some people's favorite movie critics are black.  Why are you so racist?
 
2014-02-27 02:39:09 PM  
My opinion on White is that he's incredibly intelligent, makes great observations, has keen insight, and using all that plus his vast knowledge of film history and desire to constantly troll the rest of the world, he comes to the most absurd conclusions I've ever seen.

He's a great guest to listen to on the Slashfilm podcast. You'll go, "yeah, good point...wait, you formed THAT opinion from your observation???"
 
2014-02-27 02:39:58 PM  

whosits_112: Blues_X: He really does seem like a worthless ass of a human.

I always pictured him as this kid:
[warosu.org image 321x360]

He's contrarian just for the sake of it.


ALL OF THIS.
 
2014-02-27 02:41:29 PM  
He's the Ann Coulter of movie reviewers.  He says what he knows you despise hearing so you'll keep talking about him.
 
2014-02-27 02:46:38 PM  

legion_of_doo: whosits_112: FarkingReading: whosits_112: Blues_X: He really does seem like a worthless ass of a human.

I always pictured him as this kid:


He's contrarian just for the sake of it.

No he isn't.

Well, unlike him, I can admit it when I'm wrong. If he isn't, then he's just an asshole.

The joke... ah, nevermind.

I think he can admit when he is wrong, despite his limitations (you know, his race and all, mentioned previously).

He was 100% right on Wall-E, though, and that makes some of you people mad.

/totally never more serious than in this thread
/Wall-E was pretty turrible, however. Not actually kidding about my agreement with White on that one.


Nana's Vibrator: FarkingReading:
(funny'ed)


FarkingReading: whosits_112: Blues_X: He really does seem like a worthless ass of a human.

I always pictured him as this kid:


He's contrarian just for the sake of it.

No he isn't.


D'Oh! Yes, I missed the joke. I'll go derp in shame...

But on topic, I don't fault the guy for not liking movies that everyone else likes, but it seems that's all he does. I've honestly never watched Wall-E, have no desire to, but I can see why it had critical and box office appeal. Now if he goes on to hate EVERY SINGLE critical/boxoffice hit, and yet gush about drivel like Transformers, or Tyler Perry in Tyler Perry's Blatant Blaxploitation Film, then he must be trollin'.
 
2014-02-27 02:48:43 PM  
Gravity was really not a good movie.
 
2014-02-27 02:52:28 PM  

legion_of_doo: thamike: Seraphym: legion_of_doo: Nana's Vibrator: A little more on White, who isn't.

My current favorite reviewer is Wesley Morris.  His writing is phenomenal.  Read him even if you have no intention of seeing the movie he is reviewing.

Oh, no. He's Black?

Well that ruins it for me. I totes had no idea. He must be wrong somehow.

A Black, commenting on movies! What a novel age we live in. I bet it unnerves the Jewry. You know they run Hollywood. Can he play basketball?

/Yet he is so articulate!

Blacks have been commenting on movies on video, too!   Aaaand, they're vocally disagreeing with the attractive white women!

Society has certainly changed in recent years....

WTF are you retards babbling about?

Armond White is ironically a Black! Shocking, isn't it?!

It certainly affects how we should interpret his movie articles.

(Although perhaps he had someone to help him write his so-called reviews.)


Like I asked...
 
2014-02-27 03:00:33 PM  

whosits_112: FarkingReading: whosits_112: Blues_X: He really does seem like a worthless ass of a human.

I always pictured him as this kid:


He's contrarian just for the sake of it.

No he isn't.

Well, unlike him, I can admit it when I'm wrong. If he isn't, then he's just an asshole.


img.fark.net
 
2014-02-27 03:00:47 PM  

Sybarite: The only one of the nominees I found truly disappointing was Captain Phillips. It felt like a collection of good performances in the service of nothing. It never managed to really make me feel or think about anything in particular, apart from how long it was going to take the last act to finally draw to a conclusion.


That's how I felt about Gravity, only with effects rather than performances. Found American Hustle highly entertaining but overlong and a bit shapeless. Missed Nebraska, and off to see Dallas Buyers Club tomorrow.

Think 12 Years A Slave was the best movie of the year.
 
2014-02-27 03:05:34 PM  
Ha, I think I've seen 7 of the nominees and my least favorite, American Hustle, was the only one he liked. My opinion is vindicated.
 
2014-02-27 03:05:39 PM  

Sybarite: The only one of the nominees I found truly disappointing was Captain Phillips. It felt like a collection of good performances in the service of nothing. It never managed to really make me feel or think about anything in particular, apart from how long it was going to take the last act to finally draw to a conclusion.


You should see A Hijacking.It's streaming on Netflix and accomplishes everything Captain Phillips refused to.  It's a beautiful f*cking movie.  if you can abide flipping between broken English and Norse with subtitles, you're in for a real treat.  Bonus: Nobody's really all that hateful, at least not in that simplistic paint-by-numbers way Hollywood insists upon.
 
2014-02-27 03:08:51 PM  
There's a recent movie I've been using as a litmus test for critics, to see if they even remotely think the way I would about a movie.

*checks*

Armond White fails. And does so in a verbose fashion that makes it clear he didn't watch the movie, he ignored it while composing fanciful hate lines.
 
2014-02-27 03:11:58 PM  

browntimmy: Ha, I think I've seen 7 of the nominees and my least favorite, American Hustle, was the only one he liked. My opinion is vindicated.


I liked American Hustle.  Can't find anything wrong with it.  Armond White tried his best to, but realized that giving it a slightly tepid review would be the best delivery system for yet another stab at Scorcese.  That's the only reason he didn't completely trash it.  Armond White is the cuckold of intelligence and humor.
 
2014-02-27 03:22:27 PM  

Boojum2k: There's a recent movie I've been using as a litmus test for critics, to see if they even remotely think the way I would about a movie.

*checks*

Armond White fails. And does so in a verbose fashion that makes it clear he didn't watch the movie, he ignored it while composing fanciful hate lines.


See, now I'm curious as to which movie it is that you are using

/it's Twilight, isn't it?
 
2014-02-27 03:23:35 PM  

Ghost Roach: Boojum2k: There's a recent movie I've been using as a litmus test for critics, to see if they even remotely think the way I would about a movie.

*checks*

Armond White fails. And does so in a verbose fashion that makes it clear he didn't watch the movie, he ignored it while composing fanciful hate lines.

See, now I'm curious as to which movie it is that you are using

/it's Twilight, isn't it?


Twilight's recent?
 
2014-02-27 03:26:18 PM  

thamike: Twilight's recent?


I tried to think of the most hideous thing. Something I loathed from recent theaters. Something that could never ever possibly be seen as redeeming.
 
2014-02-27 03:26:32 PM  

Ghost Roach: See, now I'm curious as to which movie it is that you are using/it's Twilight, isn't it?


Not even close.
 
2014-02-27 03:29:35 PM  

Ghost Roach: thamike: Twilight's recent?

I tried to think of the most hideous thing. Something I loathed from recent theaters. Something that could never ever possibly be seen as redeeming.


Yeah, 180 degrees from that. Well, you may have loathed it.

I use a critic as part of a series of decisions for seeing a movie. A critic who spends vitriol, not just disagreement, on a movie I like is not going to be one I rely on.

Roger Ebert was pretty good. Even if I disagreed with him on some movies, the only ones he spit venom at I agreed with.
 
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