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Duplicate of another approved link: 8153324


(Mirror.co.uk)   Not sure where to start: you've got one guy having sex with a cow, his idiot friend recording it, a pissed-off cow breaking free and writing off three cars and mugshots. Anyway, it's all there and more   (mirror.co.uk) divider line 55
    More: Scary, New York State Police, friend  
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2320 clicks; Favorite

55 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

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2014-02-27 10:04:23 AM  
Was it JELLY or JELLO?!?!? THESE THINGS ARE IMPORTANT!! FARKERS NEED TO KNOW.
 
2014-02-27 10:04:33 AM  
I think you were correct to start with the guy having sex with the cow.
 
2014-02-27 10:04:53 AM  
The cow wasn't in the moooooood, apparently.
 
2014-02-27 10:05:11 AM  
We would have accepted the headline "The Aristocrats," Subby.

/yes, I know it's been done
 
2014-02-27 10:06:38 AM  
Was this performance art? Somebody call Kanye!
 
2014-02-27 10:07:14 AM  
Yeesh. I remember when yelling 'Mooooo!' out the car window was as edgy as we got.
 
2014-02-27 10:07:33 AM  
Confused? You won't be after this episode of -- Soap!
 
2014-02-27 10:07:48 AM  
Upstate New York needs to take a look at how Scotland does it. Sheep are much easier to control.
 
2014-02-27 10:07:51 AM  
i44.tinypic.com memecrunch.com
 
2014-02-27 10:08:04 AM  
What the f*ck is wrong with people?!?!?!
 
2014-02-27 10:08:54 AM  
Sounds like a Stephon club review
 
2014-02-27 10:09:19 AM  
So I'm not sure why there was a TV crew there at 4 a.m.  Police Scanner?  And even if the farmer had surveillance video what was he doing at 4 a.m.?  Watching for the cow buggering?
 
2014-02-27 10:10:40 AM  
Oh, and shouldn't that have been a "Followup" tag?
 
2014-02-27 10:11:40 AM  
Ok fellas, heres some wisdom for ya from an old man.  There comes a point in a game of Truth-or-Dare where you just simply have to say "you win, I give".  That point is BEFORE you start farking a large herbivore.  BEFORE.  Ok?
 
2014-02-27 10:12:36 AM  
Me, reading the headline: "... and more?  How much more could there be?"
*clicks link*
"OH GODDAMNIT, WHY DID I HAVE TO WONDER ABOUT THE AND MORE?"
 
2014-02-27 10:12:55 AM  
I thought this was a new incident, but it's just some further details.  How can you be covered with Jello?  Th cow is dead?  A little rough sex gone too far. Kinky!

/ "New York, we're Florida of the North!"
 
2014-02-27 10:15:17 AM  

orclover: Ok fellas, heres some wisdom for ya from an old man.  There comes a point in a game of Truth-or-Dare where you just simply have to say "you win, I give".  That point is BEFORE you start farking a large herbivore.  BEFORE.  Ok?


They must have posed  a triple dog dare, or offered serious cash.
 
2014-02-27 10:17:07 AM  

jwookie: Was this performance art? Somebody call Kanye!


"Yo cowfarker.  I'm really happy for you, and Imma let you finish, but sheep are the best four-legged farks of all time.  OF ALL TIME."
jigbot.com
 
2014-02-27 10:17:57 AM  
I don't think I want to join that fraternity.
 
2014-02-27 10:18:19 AM  
So which one will be known as ______ the Cow Farker the rest of their life?
 
2014-02-27 10:20:40 AM  
Wait, I don't remember a dead cow in last week's 'two guys having sex with cows' story. Is this more detail and a followup or is there an epidemic of devil's threesome cowfarking going on?
 
2014-02-27 10:23:52 AM  

ChipNASA: [i44.tinypic.com image 480x272] [memecrunch.com image 256x192]


Came for this

Wait, that sounds bad

/giggity
 
2014-02-27 10:24:30 AM  

Rhino_man: jwookie: Was this performance art? Somebody call Kanye!

"Yo cowfarker.  I'm really happy for you, and Imma let you finish, but sheep are the best four-legged farks of all time.  OF ALL TIME."


Chuckles in your direction
 
2014-02-27 10:24:41 AM  
The beautifully hilarious thing about this...is either of these guys ever trying to land a date with a real woman (not that they could anyway).  As soon as she google's their names, she'll know...baahahahaha
 
2014-02-27 10:28:47 AM  
What a terribly written article.  Who actually gave the cow the hot beef injection?  I'm guessing the IT Employee.  Those guys are sick.
 
2014-02-27 10:30:19 AM  
Why must we keep having this conversation, Gentlemen? 

MOOOOO means NOOOOO!
 
2014-02-27 10:33:20 AM  
I am confused
 
2014-02-27 10:38:29 AM  
I call shenanigans.

Today in upstate New York they have a high of 20F -- the low is -3F (at 4 AM, when this story is supposed to have taken place).  Nobody, but nobody, can be naked and get it up in that kind of temperature.  The cows aren't even in the fields, ranchers have to put them in the barn in this kind of cold.  Even the news report shows a field and roadway with no ice or snow, and reporters wearing thin wool coats. Shenanigans.  Nothing about this 'story' looks accurate.
 
2014-02-27 10:38:33 AM  

jwookie: Rhino_man: jwookie: Was this performance art? Somebody call Kanye!

"Yo cowfarker.  I'm really happy for you, and Imma let you finish, but sheep are the best four-legged farks of all time.  OF ALL TIME."

Chuckles in your direction


The chuckles came from my direction when I thought about the real meaning of "Imma let you finish."
 
2014-02-27 10:38:55 AM  
MURICA!

/fark YEAH
 
2014-02-27 10:40:03 AM  
This is a repeat (Moo means no) but please leave, Mods, as this is a much better article, now with jelly/jello covered , eye witness news crew, fleeing cow hit by car goodness. Just when you thought the story couldn't get much weirder.

They got caught because the pig squealed.
 
2014-02-27 10:42:57 AM  

ChipNASA: Was it JELLY or JELLO?!?!? THESE THINGS ARE IMPORTANT!! FARKERS NEED TO KNOW.


If there was a lamb involved, mint jelly would definitely be called for. I'm not sure what the proper accompaniment is for cow bonking.
 
2014-02-27 10:44:29 AM  

vernterv: What the f*ck is wrong with people?!?!?!


What the f*ck is wrong with New Yorkers?!?!?!

/fixed it for you
 
2014-02-27 10:45:14 AM  

Rhino_man: jwookie: Was this performance art? Somebody call Kanye!

"Yo cowfarker.  I'm really happy for you, and Imma let you finish, but sheep are the best four-legged farks of all time.  OF ALL TIME."
[jigbot.com image 297x411]


I can't stop laughing
 
2014-02-27 10:46:13 AM  

Shepherd: I call shenanigans.

Today in upstate New York they have a high of 20F -- the low is -3F (at 4 AM, when this story is supposed to have taken place).  Nobody, but nobody, can be naked and get it up in that kind of temperature.  The cows aren't even in the fields, ranchers have to put them in the barn in this kind of cold.  Even the news report shows a field and roadway with no ice or snow, and reporters wearing thin wool coats. Shenanigans.  Nothing about this 'story' looks accurate.


Well, the cow/human sex did happen and was filmed. Actually it was filmed twice, as the original story had the farmer (No ranchers here, these are dairy farmers) filming the barn because the cows were "off". I'm sure he suspected stray dogs or coyotes or some such, not cow rape. What a shocker when he figured it out.

This is the first we're hearing locally about the jelly/jello, media crew, and cow's failed run for help, so I think a lulzy/sick true story is being embellished as it makes the rounds.
 
2014-02-27 10:48:09 AM  

Shepherd: I call shenanigans.

Today in upstate New York they have a high of 20F -- the low is -3F (at 4 AM, when this story is supposed to have taken place).  Nobody, but nobody, can be naked and get it up in that kind of temperature.  The cows aren't even in the fields, ranchers have to put them in the barn in this kind of cold.  Even the news report shows a field and roadway with no ice or snow, and reporters wearing thin wool coats. Shenanigans.  Nothing about this 'story' looks accurate.


Evidently you've never experienced the insulative properties of Jell-O.
 
2014-02-27 10:48:15 AM  

brandent: And even if the farmer had surveillance video what was he doing at 4 a.m.? Watching for the cow buggering?


Farmers are up damn early.  Bet he sleeps in for a couple of weeks, though, after seeing all that shiat of an early morning.
 
2014-02-27 10:48:37 AM  

namegoeshere: This is a repeat (Moo means no) but please leave, Mods, as this is a much better article, now with jelly/jello covered , eye witness news crew, fleeing cow hit by car goodness. Just when you thought the story couldn't get much weirder.

They got caught because the pig squealed.


The first report was just beastiality. If this report is accurate, it's starting to approach performance art in some circles. You just need a clown masterbating in the corner and a live audience and it becomes someone's final project for art school.
 
2014-02-27 10:54:05 AM  
As messed up as my life has been, I am glad to say my dick has never been in any other species.
 
2014-02-27 10:58:11 AM  

VladTheEmailer: As messed up as my life has been, I am glad to say my dick has never been in any other species.


Yet
 
2014-02-27 10:58:17 AM  

brandent: So I'm not sure why there was a TV crew there at 4 a.m.  Police Scanner?  And even if the farmer had surveillance video what was he doing at 4 a.m.?  Watching for the cow buggering?


I'm going to venture a guess that the cameras were motion sensitive. Cows are usually pretty dormant at night, not a lot of movement. Or he had a motion alarm rigged to the barn to know when someone entered.
 
2014-02-27 10:59:46 AM  
These men are an udder disgrace.
 
2014-02-27 11:00:07 AM  

vernterv: What the f*ck is wrong with people?!?!?!


Seriously, sick farks.  I'd gladly run them down with my car.
 
2014-02-27 11:00:22 AM  
Fontaine - a school IT system employee


Yup. that explains much.
 
2014-02-27 11:01:47 AM  

Mr.Hawk: VladTheEmailer: As messed up as my life has been, I am glad to say my dick has never been in any other species.

Yet


As long as I have hands I should be ok, and if I didn't it would be a biatch to hang on to a farm animal I suspect.
 
2014-02-27 11:02:25 AM  

jwookie: Was this performance art? Somebody call Kanye!


This is the best burn I've ever seen of FARK.  And I've bee around for 9 years.  (Profile says 8 but I was a lurker for quite awhile)
 
2014-02-27 11:05:24 AM  

mikaloyd: Fontaine - a school IT system employee


Yup. that explains much.


Wonder what his fark handle is?  "ManureDoer" is not taken.
 
2014-02-27 11:06:35 AM  
Quite the mooving story
 
2014-02-27 11:10:11 AM  

ChipNASA: Was it JELLY or JELLO?!?!? THESE THINGS ARE IMPORTANT!! FARKERS NEED TO KNOW.


Article says Jell-O.
 
2014-02-27 11:10:58 AM  

Bathia_Mapes: ChipNASA: Was it JELLY or JELLO?!?!? THESE THINGS ARE IMPORTANT!! FARKERS NEED TO KNOW.

Article says Jell-O.


It also says jelly in the headline.
 
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