Do you have adblock enabled?
If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.

(AP)   Russian police have arrested seven people accused of trying to sell more than two pounds of highly-enriched weapons-grade uranium   ( divider line
    More: Scary  
•       •       •

4096 clicks; posted to Main » on 07 Dec 2001 at 1:17 PM (15 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»

168 Comments     (+0 »)

Oldest | « | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | » | Newest | Show all

2001-12-07 01:20:24 PM  
Got Nukes?
2001-12-07 01:21:58 PM  
I'm just the token black guy.
2001-12-07 01:24:05 PM  
2 lbs of weapons grade uranium for only 30 grand????

stoopid rooshians.......that much uranium is nearly priceless. shoulda posted it on e-bay......
2001-12-07 01:25:19 PM  
It's still not enough to make a "proper" dirty bomb, but I don't like the sound of this.
2001-12-07 01:27:19 PM  
Maybe they just want to make some sandwiches.
2001-12-07 01:28:42 PM  
i think they were trying to get rid of a DeLorean too...
2001-12-07 01:32:23 PM  
Alexander Koldobsky, a senior researcher at the Moscow Engineering and Physical Institute, told NTV the quantity of uranium reportedly seized would be insufficient to make a nuclear weapon.

So then, whats the point?
2001-12-07 01:33:38 PM  
A little here, a little there. If you're good and save all of your uranium, you too could make a big ol' kaboom.
2001-12-07 01:34:03 PM  
Look, I'm sure in the United States you can buy weapons grade uranimum in any corner drug store, but in Russia it's a little hard to come by.
2001-12-07 01:34:05 PM  
Skwidd: I hope their anal orafices were violated.
2001-12-07 01:37:08 PM  
Russie1: "Hey Alexander, where did you get all that money?"
Russie2: "I got it selling of highly-enriched weapons-grade uranium"
Russie1: "Cool, what are you going to do with the money?"
Russie2: "Take a trip to the USA, and then enjoy my long happy life!"
2001-12-07 01:38:00 PM  
I'm amazed that the Russian federales didn't just seize the U-235 and sell it themselves.
2001-12-07 01:46:48 PM  
Time for all the terrorist huggers to come in and defend their rights to buy and make nuclear weapons to attack the US. Because everybody knows that the US is the real terrorist and must be attacked.

2001-12-07 01:47:17 PM  
"first acknowledged case of theft"
2001-12-07 01:50:18 PM  
that suck-diddly-ucks
2001-12-07 01:51:54 PM  
Skwidd: don't jump to conclusions that al Qaeda is behind this. If you payed attention to the article, this has happend many times before since the collapse of the soviet union.
2001-12-07 01:52:10 PM  
Dammit. Now I have to find another supplier.
2001-12-07 01:53:43 PM  

I repent. Carpet-bombing cities, levelling villages, bombing dams, hospitals, power plants, UN buildings, aid agencies, and residential neighborhoods (either accidentally or with the hopes of somehow remotely hindering an enemy) with the end effect of turning a country into a criminal-run civil war will make uranium deals in russia (and terrorism in general) dissapear.

Baka ;)
2001-12-07 01:54:35 PM  
Wait a minute! It's not the Russians' fault that their overstretched brutal empire disintegrated leaving virtually no infrastructure to supervise the atomic energy network in over 15 states

.....oh, wait, yes, it is
2001-12-07 01:55:30 PM  
I wonder how many other people weren't caught.
2001-12-07 01:56:59 PM  
I think of this "war" as us reaping what we sow. We put the Taliban into power, and funded them (which in turn funded the terrorist fringe groups). We created hate towards Americans by building on their holy land, by aiding a government of oppression so that they may become rich enough to buy our goods and perhaps let us eventually build an oil pipe line.

Fb-, you really need a new gimmick. this whole "hugger" crap is getting old, just like the "fb- is the father" phrase. I never thought someone could be so unoriginal they would have to steal a phrase (the former, not the latter) from rush limbuagh :)
2001-12-07 01:57:12 PM  
Strangely enough the payment was in cartons of cigarettes...
2001-12-07 01:57:51 PM  
"Time for all the terrorist huggers to come in and defend their rights to buy and make nuclear weapons to attack the US."

Time for all the right-wing gunloons to come in and defend their rights to buy and make nuclear weapons to defend themselves against burglars and the gub'ment.

2001-12-07 01:58:04 PM  
forgive me skwidd. I assumed since you used the term "war on terror" you meant "war on al qaeda" since that is the only terrorist cell we are going after for some odd reason....
2001-12-07 01:58:42 PM  

Terrorism Military Response

Worked for Israel, didn't it? oh wait...
(how long have we been criticizing the Israelis for that?)

BTW, it's uranium, not plutonium.
2001-12-07 02:01:39 PM  
these are just some hard working guys trying to earn a little extra cash on the side for their families. so give 'em a break, it shows that those commies are learning how to be good capitalists. welcome to the club mates.
2001-12-07 02:02:41 PM  
farking scary. Yeah, they should be prosecuted to the fullest extent. But should we start bombing the fark out of Russia now? Eh, maybe just the corner drug store. With our satellite intellegence, we can probably tell how many brands of laxatives they carry.
2001-12-07 02:03:46 PM  

It sounds to me like somebody is just jealous that we wiped out the mighty Taliban.

BTW, bombs miss. Get over it. That's war. Damn, I'm glad you weren't around during WWII. You would have been pulling your hair out.
2001-12-07 02:08:13 PM  
i don't really think the point is to make a nuclear bomb. it's much easier, cheaper, and just as deadly to explode the uranium with a normal bomb and blow radioactive material all over a large, major city. something like that will cause lots of deaths, and make the area glow for a few thousand years.
2001-12-07 02:09:41 PM  
Not to worry, theres plenty of eager sellers all over the world. As long as you generous americans buy the oil we have lots of money to buy anthing we like, we especially like to buy your big breasted blonde women..
2001-12-07 02:10:33 PM  
Take the edge off by guessing what eighties bands wrote these six song excerpts about nuclear war:

1) "Ask me, ask me, ask me, because If it's not love then it's the bomb, the bomb, the bomb the bomb, the bomb, the bomb, the bomb that will bring us together."

2) "But what the hell is this world coming to?
Blow the universe into nothingness
Nuclear warfare shall lay us to rest"

3) "It's easy. We've got our college kids so interested in beer they don't even care if we start manufacturing germ bombs again. Put a nuclear stockpile in their back yard, they wouldn't even know what it looked like...
So how 'bout it? Look - war is money. The arms manufacturers tell me unless we get our bomb factories up to full production the whole economy is going to collapse..."

4) "London calling to the faraway towns
Now that war is declared-and battle come down
The ice age is coming,
the sun is zooming in
Engines stop running
and the wheat is growing thin
A nuclear error, but I have no fear
London is drowning-and I live by the river"
(too easy)

5) "Johnny, go get your gun! For the commies are in our hemisphere today.
Fievel, go fly you Mig! For the Yankee Imperialists have come to play.

6) "...must the world live in the shadow of atomic fear"
2001-12-07 02:12:37 PM  
not all 80's bands btw...
2001-12-07 02:17:36 PM  
1) I have no idea
2) Metallica
3) no idea
4)The Clash
5)no idea
6)no idea
2001-12-07 02:18:09 PM  
Man... the poor guys. All they were doing was trying to make a little extra money on the side to probibly put food on the table. And here the damn police have to come in and fark it all up. I mean hell, $30,000! That's cheap! It's not like they were trying to rip someone off or anything. And if you notice in the artice, the AP talked to a cop over there who "asked to remain unnamed." Is that the way people are doing things over there? Scared to talk about some poor slobs who got caught trying to sell a little radioactive plug? What's in the hell is wrong with the world. These guys were thieves. That's what they probibly do for a living. Just let the do their job. Just like bin Laden, he's a terrorist. Let him do his profession.
2001-12-07 02:19:03 PM  
1) The Cure
2) Metallica?
3) ???
4) The Clash (easy)
5) Metallica!
6) David Gilmore or Pink Floyd?
2001-12-07 02:20:21 PM  
5 is not Metallica.
2001-12-07 02:21:25 PM  
Sounds like something Metallica would sing
2001-12-07 02:21:36 PM  
i don't really think the point is to make a nuclear bomb. it's much easier, cheaper, and just as deadly to explode the uranium with a normal bomb and blow radioactive material all over a large, major city. something like that will cause lots of deaths, and make the area glow for a few thousand years.


Nihongo ga dekimasu ka?? :)
2001-12-07 02:22:46 PM  
Boojie: incorrect on #1, #6.
2001-12-07 02:23:20 PM  
Rei: If Israel didn't fight back, where would they be right now?

No, a better question is, "If Israel didn't go blowing up neighborhoods with tanks, where would they be right now?" Or, "If Israel could put down their pride for a while and just let some things go, where would they be right now?". They'd have hammered out a peace accords long ago (Israel has been the holdup almost every time), and terrorism, while it still would happen occasionally, would be way down.
2001-12-07 02:23:33 PM  
and #5
2001-12-07 02:23:47 PM  
doh! I'll check back later for the correct answers.
2001-12-07 02:25:05 PM  
Song #3

Greetings... This is the Secretary of War at the State Department of the United States...
We have a problem. The companies want something done about this sluggish world economic
situation... profits have been running a little thin lately and we need to stimulate some
growth. Now we know there's an alarmingly high number of young people roaming around in
your country with nothing to do but stir up trouble for the police and damage private
property. It doesn't look like they'll ever get a job. It's about time we did something
constructive with these people. We've got thousands of 'em here too. They'er crawling all
over... the companies think it's time we all sit down, have a serious get-together, and
start another war. The President? He loves the idea! All of those missiles streaming to
and fro.. Napalm... people running down the road, skin on fire.. The Soviets seem up for
it.. The Kremlin's been itching for the real thing for years. How about a little going
away present for Mr. Breshnad. Hell, Afghanistan's no fun... So whadya say? We dont even
have to win this war. We just want to cut down on some of this excess population.

Now look, just start up a draft: Draft as many people as you can. We'll call up every last
youngster we can get our hands on, hand 'em some speed, give 'em an hour or two to learn
how to use an automatic rifle and send 'em on there way.. Libya? El Salvador? How 'bout
Northern Ireland? Or a "moderately repressive regime" in South America. We'll just cook up
a good Soviet threat story in the Middle East - we need that oil. We had Lybia all ready to
go and Colonel Khadafy'shiat squad didn't even show up. I tell ya.. that man is unreliable.
The Kremlin had there fingers on the button just like we did for that one.

Now just think for a minute - we can make this war so big... SO big.. the more people we
kill in this war, the more the economy will prosper. We can get rid of practially everybody
on your dole queues if we plan this right. Take every loafer on welfare right off our
computer rolls.. Now don't worry about those demonstrators - just pump up your drug supply.
So many people have hooked themselves on heroin and amphetamines since we took over, it's
just like Vietnam. We had everybody so busy with LSD they never got to strong. It's easy.

We've got our college kids so interested in beer they don't even care if we start manufactoring
germ bombs again. Put a nuclear stockpile in there back yard, they wouldnt even know what it
looked like... So how about it?.... I mean...

Look... war is money. The arms manufacturers tell me unless we get our bomb factories up to
full production the whole economy is going to collapse... The Soviets are in the same boat.
We all agree the time as come for the big one.

So whadya say?!?!
2001-12-07 02:26:15 PM  
#3: Frankie Goes to Hollywood (Two Tribes, yes)
2001-12-07 02:28:01 PM  
no. good try. three may be the toughest.
2001-12-07 02:31:08 PM  
Djrezin8 knows his Dead Kennedys.

"Kinky Sex Makes the World Go Around"
2001-12-07 02:33:35 PM  

Ano... moshi moshi??
Chi ga Skwidd e yobidasu...
2001-12-07 02:36:26 PM  
Damn! and I thought I knew the DKs. I guess I stopped listening regularly after Plastic Surgery Disasters
2001-12-07 02:36:43 PM  

It's also used for when a person is spaced out, silly ;) As in, pretending you're talking to a dead line.
2001-12-07 02:39:33 PM  
boojie: it used to be a hand? (profile pic)
Displayed 50 of 168 comments

Oldest | « | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | » | Newest | Show all

This thread is archived, and closed to new comments.

Continue Farking

On Twitter

Top Commented
Javascript is required to view headlines in widget.
  1. Links are submitted by members of the Fark community.

  2. When community members submit a link, they also write a custom headline for the story.

  3. Other Farkers comment on the links. This is the number of comments. Click here to read them.

  4. Click here to submit a link.