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(Orlando Sentinel)   When choosing between a college football career and impregnating your 14-year-old cousin, incest wins every time in Florida   (thesent.nl) divider line 85
    More: Florida, college football, Louisville, University of Louisville, WPTV, cousins  
•       •       •

13023 clicks; posted to Main » on 26 Feb 2014 at 1:59 PM (43 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



Voting Results (Funniest)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

2014-02-26 02:29:06 PM  
9 votes:
I had sex with my third cousin.  I know it's kinda gross, so I'm just going to stop counting.
2014-02-26 02:17:53 PM  
9 votes:
Holy crap. He's a star athlete, farked and impregnated his cousin, black, muslim, and from a poor under-privileged minority home. So if I hook a Republitard and a Democrap up to a generator and force them to watch news footage of this story, the resulting confusion will generate enough current to liberate us from the energy crisis?
2014-02-26 02:22:44 PM  
8 votes:
Today I learned somebody monitors the funny/smart voting results...
2014-02-26 02:06:36 PM  
8 votes:
The article says it was consensual and that she got an abortion.  Doesn't that fix everything?  He's a football player, for crying out loud!
2014-02-26 02:09:43 PM  
6 votes:
Didnt they say that farking your cousin wasnt so bad, genetics-wise?

It is only after generations of this type of inbreeding where you get things like prince charles.
2014-02-26 02:09:13 PM  
6 votes:

vudukungfu: Sharieff Inuka Rhaheed-Muhammad

white people's problems.


i.imgur.com
2014-02-26 02:03:42 PM  
6 votes:
Some folks'll never eat a skunk
But then again, some folks'll
Like Sharieff Inuka Rhaheed-Muhammad, the slack-jawed yokel
Most folks'll never lose a toe
But then again, some folks'll
Like Sharieff Inuka Rhaheed-Muhammad, the slack-jawed yokel


2014-02-26 02:28:25 PM  
5 votes:

ChipNASA: Anayalator: There is someone in this thread who gets ONE funny vote for every post, in every thread. They get that vote within a minute or two of posting. Either that person votes themself funny, or they have one  very  dedicated follower.

I'm not calling out another Farker by name, because that's a messed up thing to do. You know, mention another Farker by their handle in a post on a thread like this. Exactly like this thread.

welcometofark.jpg?!?!?!?

/I better get one of each too!!

knityorkcity.com

2014-02-26 02:02:28 PM  
5 votes:
Did Sharieff like it? Did he think it was kosher?
2014-02-26 01:36:40 PM  
5 votes:
Sharieff Inuka Rhaheed-Muhammad

white people's problems.
2014-02-26 02:45:47 PM  
4 votes:

Huntceet: Did he rock her Casbah?


He dropped a bomb between her minarets.
2014-02-26 02:23:25 PM  
4 votes:
When I opened the article, the ad that ran before the video was for Friday Night Tykes.
2014-02-26 02:19:19 PM  
4 votes:
There is someone in this thread who gets ONE funny vote for every post, in every thread. They get that vote within a minute or two of posting. Either that person votes themself funny, or they have one  very  dedicated follower.

I'm not calling out another Farker by name, because that's a messed up thing to do. You know, mention another Farker by their handle in a post on a thread like this. Exactly like this thread.
2014-02-26 02:17:32 PM  
4 votes:
Is Louisville going to inbredshirt him?
2014-02-26 02:08:15 PM  
4 votes:
PLAY BALL!


www.hdwallpaperstube.com
2014-02-26 02:08:12 PM  
4 votes:
Well, he's obviously Muslim, so he's innocent.  The girl on the other hand will be justly stoned to death.
2014-02-26 01:19:18 PM  
4 votes:
Was she cute?


/has a seat over there,
2014-02-26 02:40:57 PM  
3 votes:

Mr. Right: The article says it was consensual and that she got an abortion.  Doesn't that fix everything?  He's a football player, for crying out loud!


JackieRabbit: Sex between cousins is not really incest, subby. Many states are dropping their prohibition of first cousins marrying, because modern science has shown that the consanguinity is too low to be much of an issue.


So, how long have you been married to your cousin?
2014-02-26 02:37:36 PM  
3 votes:

ChipNASA: Anayalator: There is someone in this thread who gets ONE funny vote for every post, in every thread. They get that vote within a minute or two of posting. Either that person votes themself funny, or they have one  very  dedicated follower.

I'm not calling out another Farker by name, because that's a messed up thing to do. You know, mention another Farker by their handle in a post on a thread like this. Exactly like this thread.

welcometofark.jpg?!?!?!?

/I better get one of each too!!


I have 7,235 alts and every one of them votes for every single post of mine.  I used to have 7,236 but you post one pic of a slug balanced on your...
2014-02-26 02:25:41 PM  
3 votes:

Anayalator: There is someone in this thread who gets ONE funny vote for every post, in every thread. They get that vote within a minute or two of posting. Either that person votes themself funny, or they have one  very  dedicated follower.

I'm not calling out another Farker by name, because that's a messed up thing to do. You know, mention another Farker by their handle in a post on a thread like this. Exactly like this thread.


welcometofark.jpg?!?!?!?

/I better get one of each too!!
2014-02-26 02:25:06 PM  
3 votes:

Bane of Broone: StrikitRich: '...incest wins every time in Florida'?  You're an ignorant A-hole, Smits.

That's why it's called "wincest"

/umad


Wrong. Wincest only happens between Dean and Sam.
2014-02-26 02:22:44 PM  
3 votes:
media2.wptv.com
2014-02-26 02:08:35 PM  
3 votes:
And today's unfortunate placement award:

Under - Check this out...

to the right of the article:

www.trbimg.com Sometimes the siblings look even better.
2014-02-26 12:36:19 PM  
3 votes:
www.lipscomb.umn.edu

Approves...as long as he makes an honest woman of her.
2014-02-26 03:31:10 PM  
2 votes:
Sharieff Inuka Rhaheed-Muhammad

Guilty!

I'm sorry. What was the question?
2014-02-26 02:46:04 PM  
2 votes:
images1.wikia.nocookie.net
2014-02-26 02:39:26 PM  
2 votes:

tlars699: Bane of Broone: StrikitRich: '...incest wins every time in Florida'?  You're an ignorant A-hole, Smits.

That's why it's called "wincest"

/umad

Wrong. Wincest only happens between Dean and Sam.


Ilikeyoutrickster.gif
2014-02-26 02:37:52 PM  
2 votes:

Smeggy Smurf: netizencain: Warning:  Auto-play video

Warning: somebody that doesn't know about Flashblock.  Pity him or mock him as you see fit


Or we're using school/work computers.  So go fark yourself.
2014-02-26 02:28:58 PM  
2 votes:

legion_of_doo: Didnt they say that farking your cousin wasnt so bad, genetics-wise?

It is only after generations of this type of inbreeding where you get things like prince charles.


"Queen Victoria, one of our frumpier queens.  Well, they're all frumpy, aren't they?  Because it's a bad idea when cousins marry!" ~Eddie Izzard
2014-02-26 02:25:38 PM  
2 votes:
It's all relative.
2014-02-26 02:23:36 PM  
2 votes:

Ponzholio: Today I learned somebody monitors the funny/smart voting results...


You now have one vote for each.
2014-02-26 02:22:25 PM  
2 votes:
I have a gorgeous, intelligent, funny cousin.  She's adopted.

/giggity
//GIGGITY
///gi
////ggi
//ty
2014-02-26 02:18:58 PM  
2 votes:
[whynotbothgirl.jpg]
2014-02-26 02:09:36 PM  
2 votes:
I'm not judging this guy.  I have really hawt cousins.
2014-02-26 02:01:22 PM  
2 votes:
Was this on Maury? In West Virginia, this is known as "Goin outside the family".
2014-02-26 11:15:43 PM  
1 votes:
Now I want to know how black people do the Deliverance thing.  "Drop them pants" is no good because their pants are already down to their knees.
2014-02-26 08:31:13 PM  
1 votes:
The best reason to prosecute the 17 year old who impregnated this 14 year old girl is that it will crush his earning capacity before its ever really born. The baby will materially benefit from a father who will never be able to maintain even a minimum wage job because he's a convicted sex offender.

Having a father labeled a pedophile will also enhance the baby's community standing. If he gets a long enough prison term, he'll be completely absent from the baby's life at least for the critical parental bonding years. With luck, the baby will be denied contact of any kind with its father whatsoever for the entire duration of its childhood. Statistics clearly demonstrate the benefits to children of growing up fatherless.

I applaud prosecutors for having the courage to put this vicious child rapist behind bars where he belongs. This is such a great case, because it gives us the chance to pointlessly destroy or adversely affect two or even three lives (if you count mom) instead of only one.

Statutory rape laws without Romeo & Juliet provisions: they just make sense.
2014-02-26 08:09:28 PM  
1 votes:

IRQ12: untaken_name: IRQ12: untaken_name: OMG! A 17-year-old banged a 14-year-old! Thankfully, this doesn't happen thousands of times per day every single day...

It could have been a 2 year and 2 day difference in age. Law doesn't care.

You can't legislate biology.

No, you can't.  That is why cases like this should be handled in family courts.  It should be 100% sealed/closed and only the family court should recommend charges.  The black and white letter of the law simply can't adjust to every scenario that involves young people and sex.

Unfortunately it will never change because it would be political suicide to infer we should be lighter on "sex crimes".


Never is a long time, my friend. Please don't lose hope.
2014-02-26 03:54:16 PM  
1 votes:

daemoncan: Ryker's Peninsula: I had sex with my third cousin.  I know it's kinda gross, so I'm just going to stop counting.

Stop counting which?  How many times removed the cousin yer doin it with is, or the number of times ya dunnit?


i3.kym-cdn.com
2014-02-26 03:30:44 PM  
1 votes:

SDRR: Mr. Right: The article says it was consensual and that she got an abortion.  Doesn't that fix everything?  He's a football player, for crying out loud!


So, how long have you been married to your cousin?


Not married to my cousin at all.  But he's a football player!  Surely he can be forgiven a few boyish indiscretions.  And besides, the girl got an abortion.  There isn't any baby involved, anymore.  How can he be a babydaddy when there's no baby?  Just drop this and let the boy get on with his life.  No harm, no foul!  Did I mention, he's a football player?

/was that sarcastic enough for you to catch it?
2014-02-26 02:51:13 PM  
1 votes:

Dow Jones and the Temple of Doom: Well I'm sure he'll be a present and active father.


For which one of his kids?
2014-02-26 02:46:38 PM  
1 votes:

blatz514: ChipNASA: Anayalator: There is someone in this thread who gets ONE funny vote for every post, in every thread. They get that vote within a minute or two of posting. Either that person votes themself funny, or they have one  very  dedicated follower.

I'm not calling out another Farker by name, because that's a messed up thing to do. You know, mention another Farker by their handle in a post on a thread like this. Exactly like this thread.

welcometofark.jpg?!?!?!?

/I better get one of each too!!

[knityorkcity.com image 400x225]


24.media.tumblr.com


/actually I larfed!!!!
2014-02-26 02:44:35 PM  
1 votes:
Did he rock her Casbah?
2014-02-26 02:43:47 PM  
1 votes:
I was kinda OK with it (one of those 'so that's how it is....kinda things) but then the article mentioned he started fooling around with her starting when she was 11.  Damn
2014-02-26 02:43:05 PM  
1 votes:
My father married his cousin (not my mother).  I think she was a tad older than 14, but yeah I do come from pretty serious redneck stock.
d23 [TotalFark]
2014-02-26 02:42:09 PM  
1 votes:

washington-babylon: Sounds like the plot to a lot of romantic comedy animes. You are in for a fun (and often embarrassing through no fault of your own) time and there will always be another girl who shows up to make it a triangular relationship, and somehow you will wind up having to choose from a harem of gorgeous possibilities, one of which is either an alien or minor deity.


You wouldn't want to be Rito Yuuki in To Love-Ru? The guy gets to accidentally motorboat at gorgeous babe in every chapter?

Keitaro Urashima in Love Hina has a house of gorgeous co-eds in love with him.  What the hell is wrong with that?

Live in manga land is good.
2014-02-26 02:41:01 PM  
1 votes:

Ryker's Peninsula: I had sex with my third cousin.  I know it's kinda gross, so I'm just going to stop counting.


+1, LOL'd, would read again.
2014-02-26 02:40:07 PM  
1 votes:

voran: Smeggy Smurf: netizencain: Warning:  Auto-play video

Warning: somebody that doesn't know about Flashblock.  Pity him or mock him as you see fit

Or we're using school/work computers.  So go fark yourself.


Now now, being the kind of person who would post what Smeggy did is plenty of punishment all by itself.

No need for profanity.
2014-02-26 02:39:36 PM  
1 votes:
Subby, he wasn't charged with incest, "Rhaheed-Muhammad was arrested Monday and charged with lewd and lascivious conduct with a minor".It was disgusting, it was wrong (on so many levels), but Florida did not call it incest.
--------------------------------------------------------
The 2013 Florida Statutes
826.04 Incest.-Whoever knowingly marries or has sexual intercourse with a person to whom he or she is related by lineal consanguinity, or a brother, sister, uncle, aunt, nephew, or niece, commits incest, which constitutes a felony of the third degree, punishable as provided in s. 775.082, s. 775.083, or s. 775.084. "Sexual intercourse" is the penetration of the female sex organ by the male sex organ, however slight; emission of semen is not required.
History.-s. 47, ch. 74-383; s. 30, ch. 75-298; s. 1281, ch. 97-102.

--------------------------------------------------------
2014-02-26 02:38:14 PM  
1 votes:

Debeo Summa Credo: "Court ordered testing of remains".

Hopefully the court order was before the abortion. That way they can just suck it up with a big syringe off the floor of the office.

Otherwise someone has to go dumpster diving and fight any birds or rodents for it.


Check the Shop-Vac.
2014-02-26 02:38:13 PM  
1 votes:
Let's just say that when I think 'Florida and incest' the person with a name like Sharieff Inuka Rhaheed-Muhammad is not one who comes to mind.
that one is more along the lines of Detroit gangbanger, drive by or home invasion type headline.

/ducks
2014-02-26 02:37:21 PM  
1 votes:
whynotboth.jpeg
2014-02-26 02:37:14 PM  
1 votes:
Vice is nice, but incest is best.
2014-02-26 02:36:14 PM  
1 votes:
"Court ordered testing of remains".

Hopefully the court order was before the abortion. That way they can just suck it up with a big syringe off the floor of the office.

Otherwise someone has to go dumpster diving and fight any birds or rodents for it.
2014-02-26 02:34:31 PM  
1 votes:
Typical Gator.
2014-02-26 02:33:39 PM  
1 votes:
Boys will be boys...
2014-02-26 02:33:33 PM  
1 votes:

KidKorporate: I have a gorgeous, intelligent, funny cousin.  She's adopted.

/giggity
//GIGGITY
///gi
////ggi
//ty


Sounds like the plot to a lot of romantic comedy animes. You are in for a fun (and often embarrassing through no fault of your own) time and there will always be another girl who shows up to make it a triangular relationship, and somehow you will wind up having to choose from a harem of gorgeous possibilities, one of which is either an alien or minor deity.

/Translation: Your life is about to suck.
2014-02-26 02:33:19 PM  
1 votes:

vudukungfu: Sharieff Inuka Rhaheed-Muhammad

white people's problems.


Honestly, when I saw that name I was expecting some sort of button-down, nerdy white kid.
2014-02-26 02:32:22 PM  
1 votes:

Anayalator: There is someone in this thread who gets ONE funny vote for every post, in every thread. They get that vote within a minute or two of posting. Either that person votes themself funny, or they have one  very  dedicated follower.

I'm not calling out another Farker by name, because that's a messed up thing to do. You know, mention another Farker by their handle in a post on a thread like this. Exactly like this thread.


You should see when they "smart" all their alts posts in politics threads.
2014-02-26 02:31:05 PM  
1 votes:
encrypted-tbn3.gstatic.com
Lightweight.
2014-02-26 02:31:04 PM  
1 votes:

The Irresponsible Captain: Remember, wrap it before you tap it. I mean that's perhaps the least of the worries here, but it's a good lesson.

Probably shouldn't be fooling around with a cousin, or someone 4 years younger than you if they happen to be under 18.


Actually, according to the article linked in the first article he is 17. Creepy? Yeah. But, creepy shouldn't mean illegal.
2014-02-26 02:30:22 PM  
1 votes:

Whatchoo Talkinbout: We're. Still. Number one.
Suck it you 51 other states.


Shhh. The British and Canadians get very defensive when we bring up their de facto state status.
2014-02-26 02:30:07 PM  
1 votes:
Sex between cousins is not really incest, subby. Many states are dropping their prohibition of first cousins marrying, because modern science has shown that the consanguinity is too low to be much of an issue.
d23 [TotalFark]
2014-02-26 02:28:17 PM  
1 votes:

legion_of_doo: Didnt they say that farking your cousin wasnt so bad, genetics-wise?

It is only after generations of this type of inbreeding where you get things like prince charles.


Learned from Wikipedia just now: the breeding of cousins is often called "Linebreeding," and it's less dangerous for defects.  If you Linebreed an animal too much, however, it gets dangerous because of lack of genetic diversity.
2014-02-26 02:28:06 PM  
1 votes:
As a quite red-faced (with embarrassment) U of L alum, who checked out of the situation when they rehired that piece of crap for a coach, read this... I went to all of the hard core UK fans in the area and said "have at it... spew the vile"... This really takes the cake.  As if I needed another reason to despise this program.  This program literally plummeted in a matter of minutes once Strong left.
2014-02-26 02:27:39 PM  
1 votes:

Ponzholio: Today I learned somebody monitors the funny/smart voting results...


Liked and Upvoted and such
2014-02-26 02:26:36 PM  
1 votes:
We're. Still. Number one.
Suck it you 51 other states.
2014-02-26 02:24:40 PM  
1 votes:

Crass and Jaded Mother Farker: And today's unfortunate placement award:

Under - Check this out...

to the right of the article:

Sometimes the siblings look even better.


unfortunate or knows their target audience?
2014-02-26 02:23:23 PM  
1 votes:
Remember, wrap it before you tap it. I mean that's perhaps the least of the worries here, but it's a good lesson.

Probably shouldn't be fooling around with a cousin, or someone 4 years younger than you if they happen to be under 18.
2014-02-26 02:21:46 PM  
1 votes:

Molavian: He's black?  That's throwing my whole game off.  I came in expecting that some overalls-wearing hillbilly named Cletus was shtupping his cousin.


Really? Black?

Well that totally changes the complexion of the story for me.

/guilty!
2014-02-26 02:20:05 PM  
1 votes:

content6.flixster.com


RIP OMAR SHARIFF'S CAREER

2014-02-26 02:19:29 PM  
1 votes:

The Pope of Manwich Village: Is Louisville going to inbredshirt him?


Somebody sweep up and get the lights.
2014-02-26 02:18:17 PM  
1 votes:

Molavian: He's black?  That's throwing my whole game off.  I came in expecting that some overalls-wearing hillbilly named Cletus was shtupping his cousin.


that or Cletus has one helluva tan
2014-02-26 02:18:11 PM  
1 votes:

legion_of_doo: Didnt they say that farking your cousin wasnt so bad, genetics-wise?

It is only after generations of this type of inbreeding where you get things like prince charles.


That's true, but it's news because nearly all cultures have a taboo against it and such violations are salacious and generate page-clicks.
2014-02-26 02:17:29 PM  
1 votes:

netizencain: Warning:  Auto-play video


Warning: somebody that doesn't know about Flashblock.  Pity him or mock him as you see fit
2014-02-26 02:15:23 PM  
1 votes:
The Muthaship prince charles the middle east. Hapsburg Jaw

g'wan, Google it-I'll wait
2014-02-26 02:13:08 PM  
1 votes:
He's black?  That's throwing my whole game off.  I came in expecting that some overalls-wearing hillbilly named Cletus was shtupping his cousin.
2014-02-26 02:12:36 PM  
1 votes:

legion_of_doo: Didnt they say that farking your cousin wasnt so bad, genetics-wise?

It is only after generations of this type of inbreeding where you get things like

prince charles the middle east.
2014-02-26 02:11:37 PM  
1 votes:
Don't care, had sex.
2014-02-26 02:08:52 PM  
1 votes:

StrikitRich: '...incest wins every time in Florida'?  You're an ignorant A-hole, Smits.


That's why it's called "wincest"

/umad
2014-02-26 02:07:03 PM  
1 votes:

IP: Wasn't this legal at some point down there?   The cousin part, not the 14-year-old part.


Only in Shelbyville
IP
2014-02-26 02:05:36 PM  
1 votes:
Wasn't this legal at some point down there?   The cousin part, not the 14-year-old part.
2014-02-26 02:01:57 PM  
1 votes:
'...incest wins every time in Florida'?  You're an ignorant A-hole, Smits.
ZAZ [TotalFark]
2014-02-26 01:37:42 PM  
1 votes:
Choosing? I'm bad at sports.
2014-02-26 12:46:36 PM  
1 votes:
Warning:  Auto-play video
 
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