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(Orlando Sentinel)   When choosing between a college football career and impregnating your 14-year-old cousin, incest wins every time in Florida   (thesent.nl) divider line 135
    More: Florida, college football, Louisville, University of Louisville, WPTV, cousins  
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12993 clicks; posted to Main » on 26 Feb 2014 at 1:59 PM (20 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



135 Comments   (+0 »)
   
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2014-02-26 02:30:07 PM
Sex between cousins is not really incest, subby. Many states are dropping their prohibition of first cousins marrying, because modern science has shown that the consanguinity is too low to be much of an issue.
 
2014-02-26 02:30:22 PM

Whatchoo Talkinbout: We're. Still. Number one.
Suck it you 51 other states.


Shhh. The British and Canadians get very defensive when we bring up their de facto state status.
 
2014-02-26 02:31:04 PM

The Irresponsible Captain: Remember, wrap it before you tap it. I mean that's perhaps the least of the worries here, but it's a good lesson.

Probably shouldn't be fooling around with a cousin, or someone 4 years younger than you if they happen to be under 18.


Actually, according to the article linked in the first article he is 17. Creepy? Yeah. But, creepy shouldn't mean illegal.
 
2014-02-26 02:31:05 PM
encrypted-tbn3.gstatic.com
Lightweight.
 
2014-02-26 02:32:22 PM

Anayalator: There is someone in this thread who gets ONE funny vote for every post, in every thread. They get that vote within a minute or two of posting. Either that person votes themself funny, or they have one  very  dedicated follower.

I'm not calling out another Farker by name, because that's a messed up thing to do. You know, mention another Farker by their handle in a post on a thread like this. Exactly like this thread.


You should see when they "smart" all their alts posts in politics threads.
 
2014-02-26 02:33:19 PM

vudukungfu: Sharieff Inuka Rhaheed-Muhammad

white people's problems.


Honestly, when I saw that name I was expecting some sort of button-down, nerdy white kid.
 
2014-02-26 02:33:33 PM

KidKorporate: I have a gorgeous, intelligent, funny cousin.  She's adopted.

/giggity
//GIGGITY
///gi
////ggi
//ty


Sounds like the plot to a lot of romantic comedy animes. You are in for a fun (and often embarrassing through no fault of your own) time and there will always be another girl who shows up to make it a triangular relationship, and somehow you will wind up having to choose from a harem of gorgeous possibilities, one of which is either an alien or minor deity.

/Translation: Your life is about to suck.
 
2014-02-26 02:33:39 PM
Boys will be boys...
 
2014-02-26 02:34:31 PM
Typical Gator.
 
2014-02-26 02:36:14 PM
"Court ordered testing of remains".

Hopefully the court order was before the abortion. That way they can just suck it up with a big syringe off the floor of the office.

Otherwise someone has to go dumpster diving and fight any birds or rodents for it.
 
2014-02-26 02:37:14 PM
Vice is nice, but incest is best.
 
2014-02-26 02:37:21 PM
whynotboth.jpeg
 
2014-02-26 02:37:36 PM

ChipNASA: Anayalator: There is someone in this thread who gets ONE funny vote for every post, in every thread. They get that vote within a minute or two of posting. Either that person votes themself funny, or they have one  very  dedicated follower.

I'm not calling out another Farker by name, because that's a messed up thing to do. You know, mention another Farker by their handle in a post on a thread like this. Exactly like this thread.

welcometofark.jpg?!?!?!?

/I better get one of each too!!


I have 7,235 alts and every one of them votes for every single post of mine.  I used to have 7,236 but you post one pic of a slug balanced on your...
 
2014-02-26 02:37:52 PM

Smeggy Smurf: netizencain: Warning:  Auto-play video

Warning: somebody that doesn't know about Flashblock.  Pity him or mock him as you see fit


Or we're using school/work computers.  So go fark yourself.
 
2014-02-26 02:38:13 PM
Let's just say that when I think 'Florida and incest' the person with a name like Sharieff Inuka Rhaheed-Muhammad is not one who comes to mind.
that one is more along the lines of Detroit gangbanger, drive by or home invasion type headline.

/ducks
 
2014-02-26 02:38:14 PM

Debeo Summa Credo: "Court ordered testing of remains".

Hopefully the court order was before the abortion. That way they can just suck it up with a big syringe off the floor of the office.

Otherwise someone has to go dumpster diving and fight any birds or rodents for it.


Check the Shop-Vac.
 
2014-02-26 02:39:26 PM

tlars699: Bane of Broone: StrikitRich: '...incest wins every time in Florida'?  You're an ignorant A-hole, Smits.

That's why it's called "wincest"

/umad

Wrong. Wincest only happens between Dean and Sam.


Ilikeyoutrickster.gif
 
2014-02-26 02:39:36 PM
Subby, he wasn't charged with incest, "Rhaheed-Muhammad was arrested Monday and charged with lewd and lascivious conduct with a minor".It was disgusting, it was wrong (on so many levels), but Florida did not call it incest.
--------------------------------------------------------
The 2013 Florida Statutes
826.04 Incest.-Whoever knowingly marries or has sexual intercourse with a person to whom he or she is related by lineal consanguinity, or a brother, sister, uncle, aunt, nephew, or niece, commits incest, which constitutes a felony of the third degree, punishable as provided in s. 775.082, s. 775.083, or s. 775.084. "Sexual intercourse" is the penetration of the female sex organ by the male sex organ, however slight; emission of semen is not required.
History.-s. 47, ch. 74-383; s. 30, ch. 75-298; s. 1281, ch. 97-102.

--------------------------------------------------------
 
2014-02-26 02:40:07 PM

voran: Smeggy Smurf: netizencain: Warning:  Auto-play video

Warning: somebody that doesn't know about Flashblock.  Pity him or mock him as you see fit

Or we're using school/work computers.  So go fark yourself.


Now now, being the kind of person who would post what Smeggy did is plenty of punishment all by itself.

No need for profanity.
 
2014-02-26 02:40:57 PM

Mr. Right: The article says it was consensual and that she got an abortion.  Doesn't that fix everything?  He's a football player, for crying out loud!


JackieRabbit: Sex between cousins is not really incest, subby. Many states are dropping their prohibition of first cousins marrying, because modern science has shown that the consanguinity is too low to be much of an issue.


So, how long have you been married to your cousin?
 
2014-02-26 02:41:01 PM

Ryker's Peninsula: I had sex with my third cousin.  I know it's kinda gross, so I'm just going to stop counting.


+1, LOL'd, would read again.
 
d23 [TotalFark]
2014-02-26 02:42:09 PM

washington-babylon: Sounds like the plot to a lot of romantic comedy animes. You are in for a fun (and often embarrassing through no fault of your own) time and there will always be another girl who shows up to make it a triangular relationship, and somehow you will wind up having to choose from a harem of gorgeous possibilities, one of which is either an alien or minor deity.


You wouldn't want to be Rito Yuuki in To Love-Ru? The guy gets to accidentally motorboat at gorgeous babe in every chapter?

Keitaro Urashima in Love Hina has a house of gorgeous co-eds in love with him.  What the hell is wrong with that?

Live in manga land is good.
 
2014-02-26 02:43:05 PM
My father married his cousin (not my mother).  I think she was a tad older than 14, but yeah I do come from pretty serious redneck stock.
 
2014-02-26 02:43:47 PM
I was kinda OK with it (one of those 'so that's how it is....kinda things) but then the article mentioned he started fooling around with her starting when she was 11.  Damn
 
2014-02-26 02:44:35 PM
Did he rock her Casbah?
 
2014-02-26 02:45:47 PM

Huntceet: Did he rock her Casbah?


He dropped a bomb between her minarets.
 
2014-02-26 02:46:02 PM
"somebody say cousin?"

static2.businessinsider.com

/hot
 
2014-02-26 02:46:04 PM
images1.wikia.nocookie.net
 
2014-02-26 02:46:38 PM

blatz514: ChipNASA: Anayalator: There is someone in this thread who gets ONE funny vote for every post, in every thread. They get that vote within a minute or two of posting. Either that person votes themself funny, or they have one  very  dedicated follower.

I'm not calling out another Farker by name, because that's a messed up thing to do. You know, mention another Farker by their handle in a post on a thread like this. Exactly like this thread.

welcometofark.jpg?!?!?!?

/I better get one of each too!!

[knityorkcity.com image 400x225]


24.media.tumblr.com


/actually I larfed!!!!
 
2014-02-26 02:48:33 PM
Well I'm sure he'll be a present and active father.
 
2014-02-26 02:50:53 PM

tlars699: Bane of Broone: StrikitRich: '...incest wins every time in Florida'?  You're an ignorant A-hole, Smits.

That's why it's called "wincest"

/umad

Wrong. Wincest only happens between Dean and Sam.


Can it really be "win" if it's a crap show?
 
2014-02-26 02:51:07 PM
Sharieff Inuka Rhaheed-Muhammad

This kid never had a chance.
 
2014-02-26 02:51:13 PM

Dow Jones and the Temple of Doom: Well I'm sure he'll be a present and active father.


For which one of his kids?
 
2014-02-26 02:54:19 PM

Dow Jones and the Temple of Doom: Well I'm sure he'll be a present and active father.


Considering she had an abortion, probably not.

Unless he's being all paternal over a lump of what essentially looks like phlegmy hamburger.  But it's hard to wrap that in a blue blankie without getting weird looks.

/enjoy your lunch hour.
 
2014-02-26 02:56:07 PM

voran: Smeggy Smurf: netizencain: Warning:  Auto-play video

Warning: somebody that doesn't know about Flashblock.  Pity him or mock him as you see fit

Or we're using school/work computers.  So go fark yourself.


So pity is not an option for you
 
2014-02-26 02:58:57 PM

bekaye: Subby, he wasn't charged with incest, "Rhaheed-Muhammad was arrested Monday and charged with lewd and lascivious conduct with a minor".It was disgusting, it was wrong (on so many levels), but Florida did not call it incest.
--------------------------------------------------------
The 2013 Florida Statutes
826.04 Incest.-Whoever knowingly marries or has sexual intercourse with a person to whom he or she is related by lineal consanguinity, or a brother, sister, uncle, aunt, nephew, or niece, commits incest, which constitutes a felony of the third degree, punishable as provided in s. 775.082, s. 775.083, or s. 775.084. "Sexual intercourse" is the penetration of the female sex organ by the male sex organ, however slight; emission of semen is not required.
History.-s. 47, ch. 74-383; s. 30, ch. 75-298; s. 1281, ch. 97-102.
--------------------------------------------------------


So, they could go down on each other, and it would be okay. Apparently, the back door would also work.

Not to mention that it specifies "incest" is only between different genders, so your LGBT incest is also okay...
 
2014-02-26 02:59:10 PM
As usual, we need to know if she was hot or not before passing judgement...
 
2014-02-26 03:01:01 PM

ChipNASA: vudukungfu: Sharieff Inuka Rhaheed-Muhammad

white people's problems.

[i.imgur.com image 470x264]


:)
Couldn't resist.
It's not liek eh was named John Jacob Jingleheimer Smith.
 
2014-02-26 03:02:10 PM

d23: washington-babylon: Sounds like the plot to a lot of romantic comedy animes. You are in for a fun (and often embarrassing through no fault of your own) time and there will always be another girl who shows up to make it a triangular relationship, and somehow you will wind up having to choose from a harem of gorgeous possibilities, one of which is either an alien or minor deity.

You wouldn't want to be Rito Yuuki in To Love-Ru? The guy gets to accidentally motorboat at gorgeous babe in every chapter?

Keitaro Urashima in Love Hina has a house of gorgeous co-eds in love with him.  What the hell is wrong with that?

Live in manga land is good.


Whoa there. I never said anything about not wanting to be in that situation. Rito is a lucky bastard, but Keitaro was not nearly as enviable as Yamada Seina  from Tenchi Muyo GXP. And what about Saito Hiraga from The Familiar of Zero? Dude was a regular playboy for cryin' out loud. And there is the entirely enviable situation of Rin Tsuchimi in Shuffle! . Of course if you are good at faking not being human you could swap with Tsukune Aono from Rosario + Vampire and be in a enviable position (until you get found out and partially crucified, at least).
 
2014-02-26 03:02:56 PM
Can't we just nuke Florida already? I mean, what's there? Old people living off the dole, meth-heads and criminals. We can get oranges from somewhere else.
 
2014-02-26 03:11:06 PM

Okieboy: I was kinda OK with it (one of those 'so that's how it is....kinda things) but then the article mentioned he started fooling around with her starting when she was 11.  Damn


There is a 3 year age difference between them...  That means he was 14 when it all started...   condisering the age difference, as long as it was consensual, there is not a whole lot to give a damn about here...
 
2014-02-26 03:13:55 PM
I am getting a bj from my sister right now, so I am getting a ki... oh yeah... that's it, oow, oow, getting close. little more, little more... AHHHHHH.... Damn, that was good.

now what was I saying?
 
2014-02-26 03:19:41 PM
Sgt.Zim:

Not to mention that it specifies "incest" is only between different genders, so your LGBT incest is also okay...

Woohoo! Twins for the threeway!
 
2014-02-26 03:20:42 PM
Isn't the Florida State Motto "Best skin is that of a kin?"
 
2014-02-26 03:23:15 PM

d23: legion_of_doo: Didnt they say that farking your cousin wasnt so bad, genetics-wise?
It is only after generations of this type of inbreeding where you get things like prince charles.

Learned from Wikipedia just now: the breeding of cousins is often called "Linebreeding," and it's less dangerous for defects


Most people have 32 great-great-great-grandparents.
Not Charles II of Spain, however. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Charles_II_of_Spain

He had only 12, due to massive amounts of Linebreeding.
 
2014-02-26 03:26:07 PM

IP: Wasn't this legal at some point down there?   The cousin part, not the 14-year-old part.


upload.wikimedia.org
The dark blue states are where marriage between cousins is allowed. I was surprised to find NY state as one where it's allowed.
 
2014-02-26 03:27:08 PM

Maul555: As usual, we need to know if she was hot or not before passing judgement...


She is 14, what do you think?
 
2014-02-26 03:29:16 PM

Ryker's Peninsula: I had sex with my third cousin.  I know it's kinda gross, so I'm just going to stop counting.


Stop counting which?  How many times removed the cousin yer doin it with is, or the number of times ya dunnit?
 
2014-02-26 03:30:44 PM

SDRR: Mr. Right: The article says it was consensual and that she got an abortion.  Doesn't that fix everything?  He's a football player, for crying out loud!


So, how long have you been married to your cousin?


Not married to my cousin at all.  But he's a football player!  Surely he can be forgiven a few boyish indiscretions.  And besides, the girl got an abortion.  There isn't any baby involved, anymore.  How can he be a babydaddy when there's no baby?  Just drop this and let the boy get on with his life.  No harm, no foul!  Did I mention, he's a football player?

/was that sarcastic enough for you to catch it?
 
2014-02-26 03:31:10 PM
Sharieff Inuka Rhaheed-Muhammad

Guilty!

I'm sorry. What was the question?
 
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