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(USA Today)   Can giant walls protect the USA from tornadoes? I'm no physicist, but I'm thinking HELL NO   (usatoday.com ) divider line 78
    More: Stupid, USA, Great Wall of China, American Midwest, Temple University, tornadoes, South Texas, American Physical Society  
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3882 clicks; posted to Main » on 26 Feb 2014 at 8:14 AM (1 year ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



78 Comments   (+0 »)
   
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2014-02-26 05:11:26 AM  
"The walls would need to be about 1,000 feet high and 150 feet wide, "

LOLWUT

the cost of building such a wall boggles my mind, just not feasible even if it would work.
 
ZAZ [TotalFark]
2014-02-26 05:52:53 AM  
A 1,000 foot tall wall would induce some weather of its own.

As long as we're taking the 150 foot wide strip of land we can use it for transportation: pipelines, trains, or highways.
 
2014-02-26 06:35:32 AM  
I think it could work.
 
2014-02-26 07:32:42 AM  
I am morer stupiderr for having read that.
 
2014-02-26 07:34:43 AM  
"I'm no physicist, but..."

It was a physicist who proposed this ridiculous idea. How about "I'm no meteorologist, but...".

Harold Brooks is pretty much the world's foremost expert on tornado climatology. Not only would it not work, and cost more than the GDP, but it would have devastating local effects for those who lived near the wall.

Stick to your gluons, physics-boy, and leave the weather to us bitter meteorology assholes. We've got enough problems with hurr durr polar vortex derp herp global warmists burlble furble HAARP is weather control. We don't need actual smart people acting like dumb-asses to add to the mix.
 
2014-02-26 07:41:38 AM  
HAARP isn't weather control??
 
2014-02-26 08:14:12 AM  
I think we should build one all the way around Kansas to test the theory
 
2014-02-26 08:15:23 AM  
i hear the Chinese build pretty great walls. maybe we can call them.
 
2014-02-26 08:15:40 AM  
But will it stop airborne sharks?
 
2014-02-26 08:17:55 AM  

some_beer_drinker: i hear the Chinese build pretty great walls. maybe we can call them.


I've got 1 word for you friend, Mongolianado...
 
2014-02-26 08:19:09 AM  
Wouldn't even keep out Mexican tornadoes.
 
2014-02-26 08:19:29 AM  
I think someone watched too much Attack on Titan. They didn't stop the 100 foot tall Titan you really think it can stop a goddamn tornado?
 
2014-02-26 08:21:29 AM  
Oh great, another GOP plan to deal with illegal immigration.
 
2014-02-26 08:21:39 AM  
If there was an area of the country where every summer giants fall from the sky and randomly rampage through towns, would you live there?
 
2014-02-26 08:21:47 AM  
Leave tornadoes alone!!!!
 
2014-02-26 08:21:57 AM  
img4.wikia.nocookie.net
 
2014-02-26 08:25:31 AM  

MaudlinMutantMollusk: I think we should build one all the way around Kansas to test the theory


And then fill that sum'biatch with water.
 
2014-02-26 08:26:19 AM  

MaudlinMutantMollusk: I think we should build one all the way around Kansas to test the theory


With no doors, windows, or exit points of any kind. Maybe put an air tight roof on it, too. If it works, we can put another one around Texas and Arizona, you know, for homeland security purposes.
 
2014-02-26 08:28:12 AM  
But are you a meaty urologist?
 
2014-02-26 08:29:42 AM  
Imagine how much something like that would weigh.
For comparison: The Hoover dam is 726 ft high(from its foundations to the roadbed) and weighs 6.6 million tons. Hoover dam FAQs
 
2014-02-26 08:30:02 AM  

grokca: Wouldn't even keep out Mexican tornadoes.


You gotta admit, Arizona does not have a tornado problem.
 
2014-02-26 08:30:31 AM  
Building a wall like that would induce all sorts of other weather effects.

The first one I can think of is all of the land west of the wall would get an increase in rain due wet air having to drop rain in order to gain elevation to cross the wall. Then the land immediately east of the wall would dry out due to lack of rain.

To say nothing of the weird sunlight problems that would occur on the west side of the wall.
 
2014-02-26 08:31:51 AM  
What about Sharknado? Yeah, nobody is ready for that.

/all my news
//from syfy channel
 
2014-02-26 08:31:51 AM  
Stopping tornadoes is easy. Just drop an atomic bomb into the middle of them and break them up. It's so simple I can't believe they haven't thought of it.
 
2014-02-26 08:32:57 AM  

some_beer_drinker: i hear the Chinese build pretty great walls. maybe we can call them.


But then he would have to deal with the damn mongorians breakign down his schitty wall.
 
2014-02-26 08:33:05 AM  
I'm all for it if we can wall off Texas
 
2014-02-26 08:33:27 AM  
I'd think it would be similar to a breakwater.  Unintended consequences such as sediment buildup behind it, and greater erosion down drift.

Plus it would be cheaper to just evacuate Kansas, but please don't send them here.
 
2014-02-26 08:33:36 AM  
Didn't stop the kaiju.
 
2014-02-26 08:33:39 AM  
Look, you don't need no wall. Alls you do is put trailer parks all along the border. Ain't no tornado ever gonna make it past 'em into the country proper.
 
2014-02-26 08:34:26 AM  

Elfich: Building a wall like that would induce all sorts of other weather effects.

The first one I can think of is all of the land west of the wall would get an increase in rain due wet air having to drop rain in order to gain elevation to cross the wall. Then the land immediately east of the wall would dry out due to lack of rain.

To say nothing of the weird sunlight problems that would occur on the west side of the wall.


So then we make it a chain-link fence. Problem solved.
 
2014-02-26 08:35:59 AM  
Apparently this guy didn't read about little historical trinkets where people tried it. Before the 1900s
 
2014-02-26 08:36:42 AM  
ecx.images-amazon.com
 
2014-02-26 08:43:28 AM  

Elfich: Building a wall like that would induce all sorts of other weather effects.

The first one I can think of is all of the land west of the wall would get an increase in rain due wet air having to drop rain in order to gain elevation to cross the wall. Then the land immediately east of the wall would dry out due to lack of rain.

To say nothing of the weird sunlight problems that would occur on the west side of the wall.


Poor reading comprehension.  The proposed walls run East-West, not North-South.

\still a stupid idea
 
2014-02-26 08:46:10 AM  
Simple solution: We take all the unread USATodays that are stuck under the doors of midwestern hotel rooms each morning and use them to build the wall
 
2014-02-26 08:46:39 AM  
img.ibtimes.com

It doesn't work
 
2014-02-26 08:49:02 AM  

GDubDub: MaudlinMutantMollusk: I think we should build one all the way around Kansas to test the theory

And then fill that sum'biatch with water concrete.



FTFY.
=Smidge=
 
2014-02-26 08:50:20 AM  
thats so dumb.
build a 1000 high  150 thick miles and miles long wall?

F that.

build an apartment like that.  Move the entire population of the world into it. that makes more sense!
 
2014-02-26 08:53:26 AM  
CheekyMonkey:
Poor reading comprehension.  The proposed walls run East-West, not North-South.

\still a stupid idea


Fair enough, I missed the E-W vs N-S item. Still a very stupid idea.
 
2014-02-26 08:54:52 AM  

dv-ous: Didn't stop the kaiju.


Exactly.  And how much would that wall cost vs building more Jaegers?

Something that just hit me is they built the wall in Alaska, and the built the wall in Sydney, but they didn't build a wall at Hong Kong?
 
2014-02-26 08:55:25 AM  
Suicide bombers yes, tornadoes no
 
2014-02-26 08:56:32 AM  
Wouldn't it be cheaper to use more concrete or build underground?

/Not suggesting that's much of a plan, but really tall walls don't sound like an affordable compromise.
 
2014-02-26 09:00:01 AM  
We won't know if it works until we try it. We can call it the Obama Wall.
 
2014-02-26 09:03:26 AM  

elkraf: We won't know if it works until we try it. We can call it the Obama Wall.


Too late, he's already inside!
 
2014-02-26 09:04:10 AM  
ZAZ: A 1,000 foot tall wall would induce some weather of its own.

As long as we're taking the 150 foot wide strip of land we can use it for transportation: pipelines, trains, or highways.


Yeah, the first thing I thought of was "unintended consequences".
 
2014-02-26 09:08:12 AM  
Instead of building a wall why not just reinforce every single structure in the area they hope to protect.  It would probably be cheaper.
 
2014-02-26 09:14:44 AM  

elkraf: We won't know if it works until we try it. We can call it the Obama Wall.


Pointless idiots will whine about it even though it isn't going to happen. We should really call it the GOP wall.
 
2014-02-26 09:19:19 AM  
Still won't keep out illegals
 
2014-02-26 09:20:31 AM  
Ahhh, USA Today.  Always playing the Mississippi to CNN's Alabama.
 
2014-02-26 09:25:55 AM  
A 1000ft wall might help keep the white walkers and wildlings out.
 
2014-02-26 09:29:14 AM  

FLMountainMan: Ahhh, USA Today.  Always playing the Mississippi to CNN's Alabama.


I generally find myself in disagreement with you; however, this comment made me laugh my ass off. Well farking played sir.
 
2014-02-26 09:52:40 AM  

CleanAndPure: A 1000ft wall might help keep the white walkers and wildlings out.


As I read through the comments I was getting worried that nobody had made a GoT reference yet.  Thanks for delivering!
 
2014-02-26 09:53:40 AM  
Just their excuse to prepare for Zombies!
4.bp.blogspot.com
 
2014-02-26 10:17:40 AM  
Better if you press a button and your house goes underground when a tornado is in the area.
 
2014-02-26 10:19:07 AM  

Elfich: Building a wall like that would induce all sorts of other weather effects.

The first one I can think of is all of the land west of the wall would get an increase in rain due wet air having to drop rain in order to gain elevation to cross the wall. Then the land immediately east of the wall would dry out due to lack of rain.

To say nothing of the weird sunlight problems that would occur on the west side of the wall.


FTA: The walls themselves would run east to west, and there would be three walls. 
Unless you're complaining about a 150ft wide wetspot vs dry spot, I don't see your point being too much of a concern.
 
2014-02-26 10:19:23 AM  
I think we should build a test wall first about 30ft high along the US mexico border.
 
2014-02-26 10:25:05 AM  
We have tornadoes in Colorado. I even saw one near Pikes Peak which tops out at 14,115' or about 8,000 feet higher than nearby Colorado Springs. I don't think a 1,000' wall in Kansas is going to do much to stop tornadoes.
 
2014-02-26 10:29:57 AM  
"The walls would stop the flow of air from north and south, thus preventing the tornadoes from forming, he said."
No they won't, and no they won't. Unless you're walling off the midwest to the point it changes the entire climate and turns it semi-arid, which is an outstandingly stupid thing to do to an enormous swath of agricultural land.

Disrupting rotational patterns with heat/cold/induced rainfall/praying really hard would be a more workable solution.
 
2014-02-26 10:34:23 AM  
 What if its an illegal tornado comin to take our jerbs!?!?!
I bet that wall would stop em.
 
2014-02-26 10:42:33 AM  

supichoo: I am morer stupiderr for having read that.


Agreed. My facepalm just facepalmed.
 
2014-02-26 10:59:19 AM  
gifrific.com
 
2014-02-26 11:01:01 AM  
CleanAndPure
A 1000ft wall might help keep the white walkers and wildlings out.


If you build it far enough south to keep the brown walkers out, you might be able to find funding.
"We Arpaios have manned the wall for thousands of years.."

/ might also work with "white trash" instead of "brown walkers":
*TOOT*
*TOOT*
"Two horn blasts means wildlings.. "
*TOOT*
"Rednecks! RUN!"
 
2014-02-26 11:15:49 AM  

FTFA He adds that because there are no west-to-east mountains in Tornado Alley to weaken the air flow


A landform in America is designated a mountain if it stands 1000 feet above the surrounding area. So he wants to build mountains.
 
2014-02-26 11:34:05 AM  
img3.wikia.nocookie.net
It won't work.
 
2014-02-26 11:50:18 AM  
Just fire a nuke at the tornado, that'll stop it.
 
2014-02-26 11:51:26 AM  
If they could control the black helicopter squadrons that guide tornadoes through small towns and trailer parks to keep the local population in line, they would have already done it.
 
2014-02-26 11:56:14 AM  

shanrick: Stopping tornadoes is easy. Just drop an atomic bomb into the middle of them and break them up. It's so simple I can't believe they haven't thought of it.


If there's one thing Iearned from Sharknado (and I think we all know it be an enlightening and educational experience) is that a single 5 gallon tank of propane and a stick or two of dynamite exploded in the vortex of a tornado is enough to bring it to a standstill.   So none of your fancy, schmancy A Bombs need to be brought to force against a tornado.

I remember watching that particular scene and immediately thinking about how much energy is in your standard large-scale tornado, compared to the amount of energy in a tank of propane and being very amused.

N/S or E/W wouldn't matter, most of the conditions causing tornadoes would not be the least bit affected by something as minuscule (in relative terms) of a wall mere 1000 ft tall and 100-150 miles long.
 
2014-02-26 12:08:59 PM  

grimlock1972: "The walls would need to be about 1,000 feet high and 150 feet wide, "

LOLWUT

the cost of building such a wall boggles my mind, just not feasible even if it would work.


Think of the economic stimulus. We wouldn't have to wait for the alien invasion that Paul Krugman said would save our economy.
 
2014-02-26 12:14:23 PM  
Not my cup of tea, but this ..

stylusa.com

... seems a much smarter idea than ..

cdn.theatlantic.com

... which leads to this ..

fe391d5e875395beaa5c-4d0fcf8d315d40f305ee2ebb6c32f79c.r96.cf1.rackcdn.com
 
2014-02-26 12:16:58 PM  

Clemkadidlefark: Not my cup of tea, but this ..

[stylusa.com image 800x600]

... seems a much smarter idea than ..

[cdn.theatlantic.com image 627x206]

... which leads to this ..

[fe391d5e875395beaa5c-4d0fcf8d315d40f305ee2ebb6c32f79c.r96.cf1.rackcd n .com image 800x600]


HOBBIT PARKS FOR EVERYONE!!!
 
2014-02-26 12:32:11 PM  
What if we used the money to fix highways and bridges?


 No, that's just crazy talk.
 
2014-02-26 12:45:34 PM  
This is by the same people who produce climate models proving "climate change" is man made. These people live inside of computer models and have no sense of the real world, I doubt they even realize tornadoes do form in mountains and can travel up, over, and down ridge lines,
 
2014-02-26 12:52:22 PM  
Seems to me it's just giving the tornado more things to throw out and possibly kill someone from collateral damage.
 
ZAZ [TotalFark]
2014-02-26 01:24:03 PM  
lawboy87

I read a novel called Zero Hour where our hero flies an A-10 to Antarctica to bomb the core out of a hurricane. It wasn't as bad as it sounds. That's not to say it's good, but it's not as bad as it sounds.
 
2014-02-26 03:28:36 PM  
Came here for "Pacific Rim" and "Attack on Titan" references, leaving satisfied.
 
2014-02-26 03:53:10 PM  

Marc_Arsenal: This is by the same people who produce climate models proving "climate change" is man made. These people live inside of computer models and have no sense of the real world, I doubt they even realize tornadoes do form in mountains and can travel up, over, and down ridge lines,


I don't think any scientist is arguing climate change is entirely manmade (if they are, they're idiots).

And tornado formation in mountains is exceedingly rare.
 
2014-02-26 04:58:53 PM  
Give the tornado a bunch of bricks to throw around.  That sounds like an awesome idea.
 
2014-02-26 07:40:16 PM  
I first read that as "protect us from TOMATOES
 
2014-02-26 07:44:29 PM  

FLMountainMan: Marc_Arsenal: This is by the same people who produce climate models proving "climate change" is man made. These people live inside of computer models and have no sense of the real world, I doubt they even realize tornadoes do form in mountains and can travel up, over, and down ridge lines,

I don't think any scientist is arguing climate change is entirely manmade (if they are, they're idiots).

And tornado formation in mountains is exceedingly rare.


Mountains, yes. Walls? I'm no meteorologist, but something tells me that building walls--which, by definition, are not mountains--throughout tornado alley will be an exercise in futility. And that the result will just be what CourtroomWolf said: "Give the tornado a bunch of bricks to throw around." Government outsources this shiat to the lowest bidder, after all.

No, if you really want to minimize tornado damage here, you build concrete domes (which some places have started doing, actually, and which have been proven to be effective in withstanding EF-4 and EF-5 tornadoes): there's nothing for the winds--even tornadic winds--to grab hold of on the structure, so tornado damages are minimal. Biggest issue you'll have is if a tornado drops a vehicle on the building, and concrete is still a bit sturdier than sheetrock if that happens.

You'd think people would have learned by now that you can't control nature--not with walls or anything else. Best thing to do is to figure out how to build structures that take minimal damage when Mother Nature forgets her estrogen pill.
 
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