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(Mother Nature Network)   Pardon me, but do you speak dog? (Quiz)   (mnn.com) divider line 56
    More: Interesting, body language  
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2484 clicks; posted to Geek » on 26 Feb 2014 at 3:56 PM (22 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



56 Comments   (+0 »)
   
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2014-02-26 01:01:19 PM
I'm not sure. Ask me again tomorrorrorrorrorrorrorrorrorrow.
 
2014-02-26 01:01:48 PM
12 out of 19.

While I don't speak fluent dog, I can yelp along if you hum a few bars.
 
2014-02-26 01:16:05 PM
imgace.com
 
2014-02-26 01:16:25 PM
It wants steak.

What do I win?
 
2014-02-26 01:24:46 PM
6 of 19.  I could have come close to that just by blindly clicking random answers.  I don't speak dog good.
 
2014-02-26 01:29:43 PM
biatch don' want da help, biatch don' get da help
 
2014-02-26 01:33:29 PM
I do not want to talk to you about Jesus Christ, dog.
 
2014-02-26 01:33:54 PM

i253.photobucket.com

Here's my sole contribution to the Hello, yes this is dog meme.
 
2014-02-26 01:34:34 PM

Three Crooked Squirrels: 6 of 19.  I could have come close to that just by blindly clicking random answers.  I don't speak dog good.


Doesn't help that so many of the choices are ambiguously similar.

www.busybeekidscrafts.com
"Is this dog:
(a) anxious, but enthusiastic;
(b) excited and nervous;
(c) uneasy and eager; or
(d) keen, but apprehensive?"
 
2014-02-26 01:34:35 PM

NuttierThanEver: biatch don' want da help, biatch don' get da help


Golly.
 
2014-02-26 01:39:16 PM
14 out of 15.
 
2014-02-26 02:28:42 PM

Theaetetus: Three Crooked Squirrels: 6 of 19.  I could have come close to that just by blindly clicking random answers.  I don't speak dog good.

Doesn't help that so many of the choices are ambiguously similar.

[www.busybeekidscrafts.com image 184x246]
"Is this dog:
(a) anxious, but enthusiastic;
(b) excited and nervous;
(c) uneasy and eager; or
(d) keen, but apprehensive?"


(e) alcoholic African-American haberdasher?
 
2014-02-26 02:48:09 PM

Theaetetus: Three Crooked Squirrels: 6 of 19.  I could have come close to that just by blindly clicking random answers.  I don't speak dog good.

Doesn't help that so many of the choices are ambiguously similar.

[www.busybeekidscrafts.com image 184x246]
"Is this dog:
(a) anxious, but enthusiastic;
(b) excited and nervous;
(c) uneasy and eager; or
(d) keen, but apprehensive?"


11 - 19, but there were at least 5-6 more that were ^THIS^
 
2014-02-26 02:48:27 PM
www.gaysurvivalguide.com

Wazz Up?
 
2014-02-26 04:15:28 PM

DanZero: [imgace.com image 498x941]


Came for this, leaving satisfied and lulzy.
 
2014-02-26 04:16:37 PM
11/19

At least I got the general mood right. There will be no petting angry or scared dogs in my future.
 
2014-02-26 04:21:45 PM
10/19

Why does it matter which version of playful or curious the dog is?
 
2014-02-26 04:22:18 PM
i.imgur.com
 
2014-02-26 04:24:29 PM
I never got the whole "dogs don't like to be hugged" thing. My dog not only comes over to me to be hugged, but once in a while he's been known to hug back (he sits beside me and lends his head to my chest). I know it's just anecdotal, but it seems that most of the dogs I know have had no issue with me hugging them, but maybe that's just giant schnauzers, German Shepherds, miniature schnauzers, Akita, labs, pit bulls, chihuahua, collies, basset hounds, beagles, great Pyrenees, Boston Terriers and a few other mutts. But as the test has proven, I'm probably just mistaking their happy looking, tongue hanging out, tail wagging expressions for one of happiness when it really means they hate me.
 
2014-02-26 04:28:15 PM
16/19

Missed the ones with the little dogs.

/little dogs a made for kicking
//kidding
///only chahuahuas are made for kicking
 
2014-02-26 04:32:47 PM
14 out of 19. Never had a dog in my life.
 
2014-02-26 04:34:40 PM
No, but I speak Jive.

/Cut me some slack, Jack! Chump don' want no help, chump don't GET da help!
 
2014-02-26 04:41:38 PM

DanZero: [imgace.com image 498x941]


That makes me laugh every time I see it.
 
2014-02-26 04:44:47 PM

tjsands1118: I never got the whole "dogs don't like to be hugged" thing. My dog not only comes over to me to be hugged, but once in a while he's been known to hug back (he sits beside me and lends his head to my chest). I know it's just anecdotal, but it seems that most of the dogs I know have had no issue with me hugging them, but maybe that's just giant schnauzers, German Shepherds, miniature schnauzers, Akita, labs, pit bulls, chihuahua, collies, basset hounds, beagles, great Pyrenees, Boston Terriers and a few other mutts. But as the test has proven, I'm probably just mistaking their happy looking, tongue hanging out, tail wagging expressions for one of happiness when it really means they hate me.


My corgi hugs everybody. That dog only has two moods though: "Hi, everybody!" and "HI, EVERYBODY!!!!" which may have contributed to me getting 8/19.
 
2014-02-26 04:54:43 PM
i1168.photobucket.com
 
2014-02-26 04:58:43 PM
15/19
/cat owner
 
IP
2014-02-26 05:08:10 PM
13/19.  Haven't owned a dog since 1998.
 
2014-02-26 05:45:37 PM
14 out of 19, and I've been living with a dog for less than a year.
 
2014-02-26 05:50:54 PM
Yeah, I'm bombing this test because of the phrasing of the questions.

But with real dogs, it's basically like talking to a child of about 5. I don't even have to guess at what they're trying to communicate.
 
2014-02-26 05:56:05 PM
This test is BS. Boxers always look guilty.
 
2014-02-26 06:06:04 PM
That isn't speaking dog, that is Understanding dog. Speaking dog is a whole different thing, and is something I am quite good at. I can do things Cesar Milan couldn't dream of.
 
2014-02-26 07:11:07 PM
So I sez to the dog "woof woof arf woof woof!" but he wasn't having any of it.
 
2014-02-26 07:14:28 PM
img.fark.net
 
2014-02-26 08:34:36 PM
15/19. Two shepherds and a lab mocking me as I took the test.

/ I still controll the kibble, you kids
 
2014-02-26 09:25:00 PM
At first I was proud of how well I did and then I realized I'm just a variation on the crazy cat lady stereotype. Think Harlan Pepper in Best of Show.
 
2014-02-26 09:30:36 PM
14 / 19

I grew up with dogs. I miss my step-dog, she's with the ex-SO. Best dog ever. Looking forward to the day when I'm in a place to let another one adopt me.

/now cats? Took me many years to learn, but am now properly conversant. Alas, I'm allergic.
//also speak fluent squirrel when the mood (read: beers) hits.....
 
2014-02-26 09:51:02 PM

wellreadneck: At first I was proud of how well I did and then I realized I'm just a variation on the crazy cat lady stereotype. Think Harlan Pepper in Best of Show.


Best of Show?
 
2014-02-26 10:05:35 PM
I kid, I joke, I joke...
 
2014-02-26 10:11:38 PM
7 of 19. I can only conclude (as a dog owner most of my life) this test was bullshiat. As another Farker pointed out, many of the choices were extremely subtle in their differences, and assumes that all dogs behave the same based on outward appearences.
 
2014-02-26 10:38:02 PM

John Buck 41: 7 of 19. I can only conclude (as a dog owner most of my life) this test was bullshiat. As another Farker pointed out, many of the choices were extremely subtle in their differences, and assumes that all dogs behave the same based on outward appearences.


The hug one specifically, but many would have been better if you could see more of the dog (the whole dog and tail)
If they do one of these with cats and you can't see the tails, we'll all do even worse.
 
2014-02-26 11:14:02 PM
Much wow.
 
2014-02-26 11:24:27 PM

p4p3rm4t3: This test is BS. Boxers always look guilty.


Because they usually are.
 
2014-02-26 11:32:09 PM

Lonestar: Much wow.


Such comment.
 
2014-02-27 12:37:29 AM
13 of 19 and ya some of the images were really ambigous. Video would have been better.

The guilt one was a trick question. That particular guilt/fear response is going to be impossible to distinguish in a dog and situation you don't know. Especially since the guilt response is displayed nearly identical to a fear response. Context is everything. Kinda like you can show a still picture of a person in the middle of laughing hysterically and they look like they could be screaming in pain.

I get the feeling the testers are the kind of dopes who think dogs don't feel guilt or shame.

The simple fact is much like dogs only learn some of our language, we only really need to know:

I wanna play
I gotta use the bathroom
Fark off motherfarker
I'm scared/I don't like this
Pet me

Everything else is just gravy.
 
2014-02-27 01:12:10 AM
I would also strongly disagree with the boxer question's accuracy.
/i also agree Chihuahuas are built for punting.
 
2014-02-27 01:20:47 AM
11 of 19, but what exactly is the difference between "fearful and on the defensive" and "fearful avoidance?"
 
2014-02-27 01:50:10 AM

King Something: Lonestar: Much wow.

Such comment.


Very quiz.
 
2014-02-27 02:19:00 AM
cdn.sheldoncomics.com
 
2014-02-27 05:25:46 AM

Need_MindBleach: 11 of 19, but what exactly is the difference between "fearful and on the defensive" and "fearful avoidance?"


Fearful and on the defensive = dog may attack if pushed beyond comfort zone. Lots of signs for this such as ears being forward while the head is lowered, showing teeth with no growling, etc. The dog will usually face the source of fear while back-peddling too. Easier to attack when they get get some spring from their back legs.
Fearful avoidance = dog most likely to run away if pushed beyond comfort zone. The dog is usually turned to the side and looking for outs instead of facing the source directly.

Boudyro: I get the feeling the testers are the kind of dopes who think dogs don't feel guilt or shame.


I get the feeling that you project more human emotions on dogs than they actually feel. Stop. Dogs do not, in fact, feel shame.
http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/animal-emotions/201303/can-dogs- e x perience-guilt-pride-and-shame-why-not
http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/canine-corner/201303/which-emoti on s-do-dogs-actually-experience
http://abcnews.go.com/Entertainment/wireStory/behaviorists-dogs-feel -s hame-22679252

Plenty more links supporting the "no shame" argument with a quick google search as well so there must be an awful lot of "dopes" in your eyes.

I'll trust the people who actually study this sort of thing over some random farker who thinks they know better.
 
2014-02-27 09:00:55 AM
14/19. Grew up around dogs but some of those are a bit ambiguous and depend on knowing the individual animal well enough to read the subtle variations of its body language.
 
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