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(Gawker)   NYC doctor performs beard transplants on follically challenged men who want to grow authentic hipster beard and conform to neighborhood norms. "I get a lot of detail-oriented people - artists, architects"   (gawker.com) divider line 69
    More: Ironic, physicians, Hasidic Judaism, Bushwick  
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4074 clicks; posted to Main » on 25 Feb 2014 at 9:11 PM (26 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2014-02-25 07:41:59 PM
 "I get a lot of detail-oriented people - artists, architects"

You know... morons.
 
2014-02-25 07:51:37 PM
The hair for beard transplants typically is taken from the patient's head - roots and all - and then planted through micro-incisions on a bare patch of face, in an eight-hour procedure under local anesthesia, similar to how hair transplants are done, doctors said.

So in twenty years when all these idiots are going bald they are going to need another transplant to put it all back.

I wonder if they could use someone elses hair though? I hate my facial hair and I hate shaving. I would gladly sell my redbeard to any of these people. You know I'd be willing to sell most of my body hair...might be on to something here...get paid to never have to shave my face, back, or balls again...
 
2014-02-25 08:40:59 PM

Tellingthem: The hair for beard transplants typically is taken from the patient's head - roots and all - and then planted through micro-incisions on a bare patch of face, in an eight-hour procedure under local anesthesia, similar to how hair transplants are done, doctors said.

So in twenty years when all these idiots are going bald they are going to need another transplant to put it all back.

I wonder if they could use someone elses hair though? I hate my facial hair and I hate shaving. I would gladly sell my redbeard to any of these people. You know I'd be willing to sell most of my body hair...might be on to something here...get paid to never have to shave my face, back, or balls again...


Ass hair is always a viable method. Pubes too, if you want that curly look.
 
2014-02-25 08:42:56 PM

Tellingthem: The hair for beard transplants typically is taken from the patient's head - roots and all - and then planted through micro-incisions on a bare patch of face, in an eight-hour procedure under local anesthesia, similar to how hair transplants are done, doctors said.


This procedure sounds like the hipster equivalent of having a detached garage that's bigger than your actual house.
 
2014-02-25 08:57:47 PM
And it only costs $3,000 (for fill-ins) to $7,000 (for a full beard)! Money well spent if you ask me.

All of the doctor's clients have some serious cases of affluenza.
 
2014-02-25 09:14:54 PM

scottydoesntknow: Tellingthem: The hair for beard transplants typically is taken from the patient's head - roots and all - and then planted through micro-incisions on a bare patch of face, in an eight-hour procedure under local anesthesia, similar to how hair transplants are done, doctors said.

So in twenty years when all these idiots are going bald they are going to need another transplant to put it all back.

I wonder if they could use someone elses hair though? I hate my facial hair and I hate shaving. I would gladly sell my redbeard to any of these people. You know I'd be willing to sell most of my body hair...might be on to something here...get paid to never have to shave my face, back, or balls again...

Ass hair is always a viable method. Pubes too, if you want that curly look.


this is a great idea. Reminds me of the naked lunch and the man who taught his asshole to speak.
 
2014-02-25 09:17:48 PM
I should sell my taint hair to these idiots.
 
2014-02-25 09:19:28 PM
www.laughroulette.com
 
2014-02-25 09:19:46 PM
In other news, there's now a market for cadaver pubes.
 
2014-02-25 09:24:14 PM
Huh huh huhhuhhuh huhhuh huh.
i.imgur.com
Hehhehheh hehe hehehe he he.
 
2014-02-25 09:25:16 PM
 
2014-02-25 09:25:24 PM

Tellingthem: The hair for beard transplants typically is taken from the patient's head - roots and all - and then planted through micro-incisions on a bare patch of face, in an eight-hour procedure under local anesthesia, similar to how hair transplants are done, doctors said.

So in twenty years when all these idiots are going bald they are going to need another transplant to put it all back.

I wonder if they could use someone elses hair though? I hate my facial hair and I hate shaving. I would gladly sell my redbeard to any of these people. You know I'd be willing to sell most of my body hair...might be on to something here...get paid to never have to shave my face, back, or balls again...


SOUTHPARK DID IT!
 
2014-02-25 09:27:22 PM
LAUGHTER OL(AME)
 
2014-02-25 09:28:43 PM
Give them all neck beards.
 
2014-02-25 09:29:34 PM
Will this work on shins too?  Might cure the sandal's with black knee high socks look in Florida that the yankees go for.  I'm all for that.  There has to be a reason they do it.
 
2014-02-25 09:31:09 PM

farkingismybusiness: Huh huh huhhuhhuh huhhuh huh.
[i.imgur.com image 481x348]
Hehhehheh hehe hehehe he he.


Turn off the lights behind you, this thread has been checkmated!
 
2014-02-25 09:35:21 PM
www.isawthelightministries.com

/oh so hot
 
2014-02-25 09:36:21 PM
If I seriously wanted to grow a beard I'd do something like this, as one side of my face grows a decent beard while the other looks like a 13-year old awaiting his first shave...pathetic.
 
2014-02-25 09:36:49 PM

Ow! That was my feelings!: [www.laughroulette.com image 500x678]


That's basically my beard except mine is mostly white and I do not have that mustache, I keep it trim.
 
2014-02-25 09:37:13 PM
So there's hope for Michael Cera after all?
 
2014-02-25 09:37:35 PM
who the hell would want a beard?
 
2014-02-25 09:39:12 PM

Pribar: who the hell would want a beard?


Many gay men, from what I hear.
 
2014-02-25 09:40:42 PM
So what happens to the poor, cold gay men now that their beards are being removed?  Do the newly warmed gay men send them a card?  Do the straight men know that they can sleep with the fattie now?
 
2014-02-25 09:42:11 PM
These guys sure are gonna feel like chumps four years from now when beards are totally out. It has to feel pretty stupid to shave your $7000 beard.
 
2014-02-25 09:44:07 PM

FreakinB: This procedure sounds like the hipster equivalent of having a detached garage that's bigger than your actual house.


As a guy with a small mechanic/firearm/welding shop in his garage, that sounds ideal. House space is for eating, sleeping, and boning (same space as sleeping).

Shop space? That shiat's at a premium.
 
2014-02-25 09:44:37 PM
So, let me get this straight...you get head hair...on your face? I can think of some pretty amusing results from that, like a "Woolly Willy" board gone horribly wrong.
 
2014-02-25 09:45:22 PM

fusillade762: So there's hope for Michael Cera after all?


Only if he wants to add more to the child molester mustache he's sportin'.

static.tumblr.com
 
2014-02-25 09:45:25 PM
Using the economics of following fashion and money, shouldn't brooklyn hipsters start shaving their beards?
 
2014-02-25 09:50:33 PM

BlueBox: Will this work on shins too?  Might cure the sandal's with black knee high socks look in Florida that the yankees go for.  I'm all for that.  There has to be a reason they do it.


I always figured toenail/foot fungus or just funky looking feet.

Had the misfortune of seeing a close shot of Steven Tyler's bare feet in sandles. Black socks would have been a blessing.
 
2014-02-25 09:50:58 PM
shenanigans
 
2014-02-25 09:51:35 PM
www.biography.comi.imgur.comimg.fark.net
 
2014-02-25 09:54:55 PM
I find this super problematic. What this really is, is subconscious, systemic racism and white privilege at it's finest. The kind of beards that are wanted are "ironic" woodsman's breads that ape the style of early white hunters, trappers and loggers. Imperialists, colonizers and systematic, unapologetic genocide, abuse, exploitation and outright theft of and from Indigenous populations, that are still reeling from it today.The ancestral trauma of seeing these marauders in bushy White beards terrorize and genocide their peoples has left many Tribal folks with generational PTSD and dysfunction!

It's the equivalent of dressing up like a Nazi and not understanding why Jewish folks(or Gypsies and LGBTQQI!) get triggered and suffer even more trauma. It is DELIBERATE blindness to horror and historical understanding.

Obviously white racist hipsters like these would never dream of burning villages, killing babies and stealing natural resources, they're too gutless and socialized against violence and throughly immersed in their privilege and enjoy the ongoing fruits of oppression; but look who can naturally grow these beards and who can't: French, Nordic, Germanic, English, Irish, Scotch and generally those of North European descent.

Who can't, and needs these implanst to look more like historic white oppressors? Asians, Latins, Indigenous and Native peoples, Black folks. Most of them anyway- can you imagine the panic if a cis young Black male wore a beard like this? He'd terrorize racist people and get harassed by the police!

How can this NOT be seen as frankly racist and ugly, I don't understand. What if  the trend was for hipsters to grow Latin or Asian style facial hair? Everybody would point out the obvious, OBVIOUS cultural appropriation as repugnant!!

This trend affirms the (supposed) superiority of Whiteness in our culture. There's no other way to say it. And it proves that these white cis male hipsters and their white privilege are really, really problematic.in my view.
 
2014-02-25 09:56:15 PM
I had a full beard before it was cool!


Really,... had it since summer of '77
 
2014-02-25 09:59:14 PM

willfullyobscure: I find this super problematic. What this really is, is subconscious, systemic racism and white privilege at it's finest. The kind of beards that are wanted are "ironic" woodsman's breads that ape the style of early white hunters, trappers and loggers. Imperialists, colonizers and systematic, unapologetic genocide, abuse, exploitation and outright theft of and from Indigenous populations, that are still reeling from it today.The ancestral trauma of seeing these marauders in bushy White beards terrorize and genocide their peoples has left many Tribal folks with generational PTSD and dysfunction!

It's the equivalent of dressing up like a Nazi and not understanding why Jewish folks(or Gypsies and LGBTQQI!) get triggered and suffer even more trauma. It is DELIBERATE blindness to horror and historical understanding.

Obviously white racist hipsters like these would never dream of burning villages, killing babies and stealing natural resources, they're too gutless and socialized against violence and throughly immersed in their privilege and enjoy the ongoing fruits of oppression; but look who can naturally grow these beards and who can't: French, Nordic, Germanic, English, Irish, Scotch and generally those of North European descent.

Who can't, and needs these implanst to look more like historic white oppressors? Asians, Latins, Indigenous and Native peoples, Black folks. Most of them anyway- can you imagine the panic if a cis young Black male wore a beard like this? He'd terrorize racist people and get harassed by the police!

How can this NOT be seen as frankly racist and ugly, I don't understand. What if  the trend was for hipsters to grow Latin or Asian style facial hair? Everybody would point out the obvious, OBVIOUS cultural appropriation as repugnant!!

This trend affirms the (supposed) superiority of Whiteness in our culture. There's no other way to say it. And it proves that these white cis male hipsters and their white privilege are really, really problematic.in ...


It's nice to see that Charlene is still doing alright after the breakup with Randy Waterhouse.
 
2014-02-25 10:01:27 PM
In college, I trimmed my facial hair with my scissors. Now I have a buzzer thingy for it. Shaving is annoying. Sometimes I get complaints about how long I let it get between buzzings but I never have to worry about that clean shaven look. If I grew patchy facial hair, I'd probably shave.

But sometimes it's fun to go at it with the buzzers after its been growing awhile and do a porn mustache or mutton chops or something, then come out and show my wife, "All done!"
 
2014-02-25 10:04:26 PM

willfullyobscure: I find this super problematic. What this really is, is subconscious, systemic racism and white privilege at it's finest. The kind of beards that are wanted are "ironic" woodsman's breads that ape the style of early white hunters, trappers and loggers. Imperialists, colonizers and systematic, unapologetic genocide, abuse, exploitation and outright theft of and from Indigenous populations, that are still reeling from it today.The ancestral trauma of seeing these marauders in bushy White beards terrorize and genocide their peoples has left many Tribal folks with generational PTSD and dysfunction!

It's the equivalent of dressing up like a Nazi and not understanding why Jewish folks(or Gypsies and LGBTQQI!) get triggered and suffer even more trauma. It is DELIBERATE blindness to horror and historical understanding.

Obviously white racist hipsters like these would never dream of burning villages, killing babies and stealing natural resources, they're too gutless and socialized against violence and throughly immersed in their privilege and enjoy the ongoing fruits of oppression; but look who can naturally grow these beards and who can't: French, Nordic, Germanic, English, Irish, Scotch and generally those of North European descent.

Who can't, and needs these implanst to look more like historic white oppressors? Asians, Latins, Indigenous and Native peoples, Black folks. Most of them anyway- can you imagine the panic if a cis young Black male wore a beard like this? He'd terrorize racist people and get harassed by the police!

How can this NOT be seen as frankly racist and ugly, I don't understand. What if  the trend was for hipsters to grow Latin or Asian style facial hair? Everybody would point out the obvious, OBVIOUS cultural appropriation as repugnant!!

This trend affirms the (supposed) superiority of Whiteness in our culture. There's no other way to say it. And it proves that these white cis male hipsters and their white privilege are really, really problematic.in ...


I don't think Hipsters really look into it all that deeply. They just say, "That looks alternative" no matter if there is any merit to it or not and just does it, even if they don't like it, they just want to do it to show off.

/what's with the two threads on the main page?
//Are we going for a Hipster trifecta tonight?
 
2014-02-25 10:05:53 PM

willfullyobscure: I find this super problematic. What this really is, is subconscious, systemic racism and white privilege at it's finest. The kind of beards that are wanted are "ironic" woodsman's breads that ape the style of early white hunters, trappers and loggers. Imperialists, colonizers and systematic, unapologetic genocide, abuse, exploitation and outright theft of and from Indigenous populations, that are still reeling from it today.The ancestral trauma of seeing these marauders in bushy White beards terrorize and genocide their peoples has left many Tribal folks with generational PTSD and dysfunction!

It's the equivalent of dressing up like a Nazi and not understanding why Jewish folks(or Gypsies and LGBTQQI!) get triggered and suffer even more trauma. It is DELIBERATE blindness to horror and historical understanding.

Obviously white racist hipsters like these would never dream of burning villages, killing babies and stealing natural resources, they're too gutless and socialized against violence and throughly immersed in their privilege and enjoy the ongoing fruits of oppression; but look who can naturally grow these beards and who can't: French, Nordic, Germanic, English, Irish, Scotch and generally those of North European descent.

Who can't, and needs these implanst to look more like historic white oppressors? Asians, Latins, Indigenous and Native peoples, Black folks. Most of them anyway- can you imagine the panic if a cis young Black male wore a beard like this? He'd terrorize racist people and get harassed by the police!

How can this NOT be seen as frankly racist and ugly, I don't understand. What if  the trend was for hipsters to grow Latin or Asian style facial hair? Everybody would point out the obvious, OBVIOUS cultural appropriation as repugnant!!

This trend affirms the (supposed) superiority of Whiteness in our culture. There's no other way to say it. And it proves that these white cis male hipsters and their white privilege are really, really problematic.in ...


static.fjcdn.com
 
2014-02-25 10:08:12 PM
Is the president also a client?
 
2014-02-25 10:08:19 PM
I have a beard because I am lazy and my boss does not care if i have a beard or not.  Plus, it does help insulate my face here in Alaska.

/not a hipster, just lazy
 
2014-02-25 10:14:31 PM

worlddan: Ow! That was my feelings!: [www.laughroulette.com image 500x678]

That's basically my beard except mine is mostly white and I do not have that mustache, I keep it trim.


How YOU doin?
 
2014-02-25 10:19:15 PM

willfullyobscure: Who can't, and needs these implanst to look more like historic white oppressors? Asians, Latins, Indigenous and Native peoples, Black folks. Most of them anyway- can you imagine the panic if a cis young Black male wore a beard like this? He'd terrorize racist people and get harassed by the police!


Bill Cosby would like to have a word with you.
 
2014-02-25 10:23:00 PM

farkingismybusiness: Huh huh huhhuhhuh huhhuh huh.
[i.imgur.com image 481x348]
Hehhehheh hehe hehehe he he.


aaaaand done!
 
2014-02-25 10:25:32 PM

Tellingthem: The hair for beard transplants typically is taken from the patient's head - roots and all - and then planted through micro-incisions on a bare patch of face, in an eight-hour procedure under local anesthesia, similar to how hair transplants are done, doctors said.

So in twenty years when all these idiots are going bald they are going to need another transplant to put it all back.

I wonder if they could use someone elses hair though? I hate my facial hair and I hate shaving. I would gladly sell my redbeard to any of these people. You know I'd be willing to sell most of my body hair...might be on to something here...get paid to never have to shave my face, back, or balls again...


I would also happily sell my fine, red scrotal hair to any ironically-minded Brooklynite who isn't manly enough to grow hair on his chin.
 
2014-02-25 10:27:38 PM
I used to have patchy facial hair and would only need to shave maybe once a week.

I started eating a lot of gelatin based candies to make the hair on the top of my head grow faster, well it also caused my patchy facial hair to develop into a beard.

So now I have to shave at least twice a week.
 
2014-02-25 10:28:08 PM

farkingismybusiness: Huh huh huhhuhhuh huhhuh huh.
[i.imgur.com image 481x348]
Hehhehheh hehe hehehe he he.


I was hoping someone posted that.
 
2014-02-25 10:30:38 PM
I'd be happy to give them my facial hair. I have to shave every day an I hate it. It's like shaving steel wool off a peach.
 
2014-02-25 10:33:14 PM

FreakinB: Tellingthem: The hair for beard transplants typically is taken from the patient's head - roots and all - and then planted through micro-incisions on a bare patch of face, in an eight-hour procedure under local anesthesia, similar to how hair transplants are done, doctors said.

This procedure sounds like the hipster equivalent of having a detached garage that's bigger than your actual house.


Hell I'm no hipster but I'd love to have a garage bigger than my house. I only need just so much living space, but I can always use more workshop and parking space.
 
2014-02-25 10:39:37 PM
Other common clients include weakly-beared Hasidic Jews...

Are we talking back hair or what?
 
2014-02-25 10:45:38 PM
People are growing beards to hide their fat faces.
 
2014-02-25 10:47:53 PM
Hipsters.
prepsterpunk.comi1.ytimg.com
 
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