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(Tampa Bay Online)   Man convicted of tax fraud wants Bentley, jewelry back   (tbo.com) divider line 42
    More: Amusing, tax fraud, News Channel 8, The Tampa Tribune, Russell Simmons  
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5275 clicks; posted to Main » on 25 Feb 2014 at 2:47 PM (8 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



42 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2014-02-25 02:02:45 PM
I was going to post, "Bentley - when you can't afford a Rolls Royce.", but I'm not sure...which is classier? Me, I'd go for the Rolls.
 
2014-02-25 02:20:12 PM
It is bad enough to commit tax fraud to get returns to which other people are entitled, but it's quite something else to buy such hideous looking jewelry with the money.
 
2014-02-25 02:51:31 PM
www.egotripland.com
 
2014-02-25 02:52:31 PM
Asinine tag attending its sentencing hearing, Subby?
 
2014-02-25 02:53:41 PM
And here I thought this was gonna be a Wesley Snipes thread.
 
2014-02-25 02:54:34 PM

gopher321: I was going to post, "Bentley - when you can't afford a Rolls Royce.", but I'm not sure...which is classier? Me, I'd go for the Rolls.



Don't quote me on this, but I believe Bentley's are drivers cars, and Rolls are for people who have drivers.
 
2014-02-25 02:54:37 PM
Nice copy and paste job on the headline, Subby.
 
2014-02-25 02:55:25 PM
Simmons, who owned a car dealership, tried to steal $8.9 million by filing more than 600 fraudulent tax returns in 2011, authorities say. The IRS rejected more than $5.5 million worth of refunds but approved $3.4 million.

Bastard. That's why there weren't any tax forms at the library that year. I had to go all the way down the the federal building. When I got back, I realized I didn't get a Schedule D so I didn't get to claim my purchases of a schizophrenic medicine that I donated to the people living in my refrigerator.

Yeah. I'm that guy on the bus. Well, one of them.
 
2014-02-25 02:56:57 PM
As part of his plea agreement, Simmons agreed to give up the Bentley, jewelry, $25,000 in cash and more than $100,000 on debit cards.

He can always cancel that plea agreement and go back to jail.

/WonkaYouGetNothing.jpg
 
2014-02-25 03:00:37 PM
You think he'd be happy with the Run DMC residuals....what a greedy bastard.
 
2014-02-25 03:00:48 PM
Classy gold chain with his initials in diamonds. They should give him another 10 years for crimes against style. Even for a car salesman that is tacky.
 
2014-02-25 03:03:49 PM
Some people deserve the death penalty.   Rich people who avoid taxes are some of them.
 
2014-02-25 03:09:47 PM

groppet: Classy gold chain with his initials in diamonds. They should give him another 10 years for crimes against style. Even for a car salesman that is tacky.


His "dealership" was the neighborhood "buy here credit here" place on the east end of town that would sell you a BMW or a Tahoe with Kmart Rims that were worth more than the car. So I wouldn't expect much tact anywhere.
 
2014-02-25 03:12:29 PM

groppet: Classy gold chain with his initials in diamonds. They should give him another 10 years for crimes against style. Even for a car salesman that is tacky.


Picture of perp:
tbo.com
Helpful?
 
2014-02-25 03:14:29 PM

Harry Freakstorm: Simmons, who owned a car dealership, tried to steal $8.9 million by filing more than 600 fraudulent tax returns in 2011, authorities say. The IRS rejected more than $5.5 million worth of refunds but approved $3.4 million.

Bastard. That's why there weren't any tax forms at the library that year. I had to go all the way down the the federal building. When I got back, I realized I didn't get a Schedule D so I didn't get to claim my purchases of a schizophrenic medicine that I donated to the people living in my refrigerator.

Yeah. I'm that guy on the bus. Well, one of them.


Why is your medicine schizophrenic?
 
2014-02-25 03:16:46 PM

Warlordtrooper: Some people deserve the death penalty.   Rich people who avoid taxes are some of them.


Who would Obama staff his Executive with then?
 
2014-02-25 03:17:03 PM
He kept the Camaro.
www.tampabay.com
 
2014-02-25 03:23:18 PM
Clearly, he's just following the "wesley snipes" school of thought on taxes..
 
2014-02-25 03:25:03 PM
Other refunds were stopped, either by TurboTax or through other means.

Well, it's nice to know it has a "partially mitigate massive attempt to defraud government" feature built right in.
 
2014-02-25 03:29:25 PM

gopher321: I was going to post, "Bentley - when you can't afford a Rolls Royce.", but I'm not sure...which is classier? Me, I'd go for the Rolls.


Classier? Once you put 26-inch rims on 'em, they're both pretty dope.
 
2014-02-25 03:31:13 PM

caddisfly: He kept the Camaro.
[www.tampabay.com image 664x498]


Epic skank-mobile.
 
2014-02-25 03:31:42 PM
He was ultimately prosecuted and sentenced last year to 15 years in federal prison. The sentence was later reduced to 10 1/2 years because of Simmons' cooperation in another case; Simmons testified last May against a drug dealer who received life on his federal conviction. Simmons is asking the court to reduce his sentence further because he doesn't think he got enough credit for the help he gave in the drug dealer's case.


So, he's a tax cheat AND a snitch?

/DIAF
 
2014-02-25 03:36:58 PM

lokis_mentor: groppet: Classy gold chain with his initials in diamonds. They should give him another 10 years for crimes against style. Even for a car salesman that is tacky.

His "dealership" was the neighborhood "buy here credit here" place on the east end of town that would sell you a BMW or a Tahoe with Kmart Rims that were worth more than the car. So I wouldn't expect much tact anywhere.


IrishBlunder: groppet: Classy gold chain with his initials in diamonds. They should give him another 10 years for crimes against style. Even for a car salesman that is tacky.

Picture of perp:
[tbo.com image 308x337]
Helpful?


Thank you and thank you. For some reason I had the guy from the thread yesterday in my head with the guy wearing the clothes from the 80s and the girl with the bolt ons leaning on the camaro that was in jail for mortgage fraud.
 
2014-02-25 03:38:28 PM

buckler: Other refunds were stopped, either by TurboTax or through other means.

Well, it's nice to know it has a "partially mitigate massive attempt to defraud government" feature built right in.


We're sorry, the personal version of TurboTax may only be used to file 4 returns.  You've exceed this number by 685 returns.
 
2014-02-25 03:43:56 PM

the cake is a pie: Harry Freakstorm: Simmons, who owned a car dealership, tried to steal $8.9 million by filing more than 600 fraudulent tax returns in 2011, authorities say. The IRS rejected more than $5.5 million worth of refunds but approved $3.4 million.

Bastard. That's why there weren't any tax forms at the library that year. I had to go all the way down the the federal building. When I got back, I realized I didn't get a Schedule D so I didn't get to claim my purchases of a schizophrenic medicine that I donated to the people living in my refrigerator.

Yeah. I'm that guy on the bus. Well, one of them.

Why is your medicine schizophrenic?


'cause when I take a pill out of the bottle, the pill says "Oh thank you for getting me away from those other guys.  They were out to get me.  I guess I'll be okay now."

Then, instead of taking him as prescribed, I take him on the bus.  Let him see the world.  Show him all the sights as we go along.  He's pretty happy abut this.  "I don't see much until they dump me in to that bottle with all those losers.  This is so nice."  Just for him, we stop at the museum and we check out the architecture in old town.  Then I take him to work and drown him in the boss' coffee.

Can't have a your meds running your life.

And having no relevance to this story whatsoever, there is a locker on the other side of the wall from my cubicle.  People lock their cell phones in there because they work in an area that doesn't allow cell phones.  I get treated to a lot of ringtones.  Someday, I'll find out who has the cell phone whose ringtone goes "Hello?  Hello! Hellllo?!" and shove that phone down their throat.

Unless it's the hawt chick of course.
 
2014-02-25 03:46:22 PM
we are not represented taxation is theft!
 
d23 [TotalFark]
2014-02-25 03:46:49 PM
let me interject:

www.banklawyersblog.com
 
2014-02-25 03:54:06 PM
A 14-carat gold men's bracelet with 2,420 round diamonds

How do you fit 2400 diamonds on a bracelet? Did it go up to his elbow?
 
2014-02-25 04:26:26 PM

abhorrent1: A 14-carat gold men's bracelet with 2,420 round diamonds

How do you fit 2400 diamonds on a bracelet? Did it go up to his elbow?


Use tiny diamonds.
 
2014-02-25 04:31:31 PM
I wish they would kill people like this. Would deter the same stuff from happening again.
 
2014-02-25 04:45:17 PM

gopher321: I was going to post, "Bentley - when you can't afford a Rolls Royce.", but I'm not sure...which is classier? Me, I'd go for the Rolls.


The correct answer is Aston Martin.
 
2014-02-25 04:45:31 PM
Tampa Police Chief Jane Castor's reaction to Simmons wanting his Bentley back:

s14.postimg.org

NO.
 
m00
2014-02-25 04:52:19 PM
As part of his plea agreement, Simmons agreed to give up the Bentley, jewelry, $25,000 in cash and more than $100,000 on debit cards.
Simmons also specifically agreed to forfeit:
- A 14-carat gold double Cuban link chrome chain
- A 14-carat gold men's ring with 110 diamonds
- A 14-carat gold men's bracelet with 2,420 round diamonds
- A 14-carat gold men's square ring
- A KC stainless steel men's watch with 57 diamonds
- A KC stainless steel men's watch with 33 diamonds

Now Simmons says all the items and cash were illegally seized, and he wants them back.


He might actually have a point... I don't know the protocol on offering the prosecution (ultimately, the police department) money/vehicles in exchange to not throw the book at you.
 
2014-02-25 05:07:01 PM

JC22: I wish they would kill people like this. Would deter the same stuff from happening again.


I was thinking about this. They should have a $ branded into their forehead to mark that they did a finacial crime and have a life of minimum wage jobs ahead of them for the rest of their life.
 
2014-02-25 05:13:37 PM

gopher321: I was going to post, "Bentley - when you can't afford a Rolls Royce.", but I'm not sure...which is classier? Me, I'd go for the Rolls.


One's a gussied up Audi, the other's a stretched BMW.
 
2014-02-25 06:11:29 PM

m00: As part of his plea agreement, Simmons agreed to give up the Bentley, jewelry, $25,000 in cash and more than $100,000 on debit cards.
Simmons also specifically agreed to forfeit:
- A 14-carat gold double Cuban link chrome chain
- A 14-carat gold men's ring with 110 diamonds
- A 14-carat gold men's bracelet with 2,420 round diamonds
- A 14-carat gold men's square ring
- A KC stainless steel men's watch with 57 diamonds
- A KC stainless steel men's watch with 33 diamonds

Now Simmons says all the items and cash were illegally seized, and he wants them back.

He might actually have a point... I don't know the protocol on offering the prosecution (ultimately, the police department) money/vehicles in exchange to not throw the book at you.


He does have a point. Scrap the plea deal and give him the max sentence.
 
2014-02-25 06:28:40 PM

m00: As part of his plea agreement, Simmons agreed to give up the Bentley, jewelry, $25,000 in cash and more than $100,000 on debit cards.
Simmons also specifically agreed to forfeit:
- A 14-carat gold double Cuban link chrome chain
- A 14-carat gold men's ring with 110 diamonds
- A 14-carat gold men's bracelet with 2,420 round diamonds
- A 14-carat gold men's square ring
- A KC stainless steel men's watch with 57 diamonds
- A KC stainless steel men's watch with 33 diamonds

Now Simmons says all the items and cash were illegally seized, and he wants them back.

He might actually have a point... I don't know the protocol on offering the prosecution (ultimately, the police department) money/vehicles in exchange to not throw the book at you.


I highly doubt that went to the prosecution, it would have went to the Treasury. Financial restitution is a common part of settlements and judgements. The guy stole from the government and agreed to provide restitution.
 
2014-02-25 06:36:41 PM
Just shows you that some people can never have enough. This guy could go host a couple of def poetry jams and make more than any of us do, yet he chooses to steal from taxpayers. Sad.
 
2014-02-25 07:08:03 PM

dywed88: m00: As part of his plea agreement, Simmons agreed to give up the Bentley, jewelry, $25,000 in cash and more than $100,000 on debit cards.
Simmons also specifically agreed to forfeit:
- A 14-carat gold double Cuban link chrome chain
- A 14-carat gold men's ring with 110 diamonds
- A 14-carat gold men's bracelet with 2,420 round diamonds
- A 14-carat gold men's square ring
- A KC stainless steel men's watch with 57 diamonds
- A KC stainless steel men's watch with 33 diamonds

Now Simmons says all the items and cash were illegally seized, and he wants them back.

He might actually have a point... I don't know the protocol on offering the prosecution (ultimately, the police department) money/vehicles in exchange to not throw the book at you.

I highly doubt that went to the prosecution, it would have went to the Treasury. Financial restitution is a common part of settlements and judgements. The guy stole from the government and agreed to provide restitution.


What the judge should do is vacate the plea agreement, return the forfeited goods to the man, sentence the man to the max time that was avoided by the plea agreement, then seize the goods for restitution to the government.
 
2014-02-25 08:43:04 PM
Like all white collar criminals he got off easy, so he doesn't like the deal cancel it and give him the max and seize everything he owns or ever will own as restitution.  I am sick of people getting off easy just because they stole millions, they should be in the maximum security prisons while the pot smokers should be in the country clubs.
 
2014-02-25 09:21:08 PM
How about No you scum.   I hope he realizes some of that stuff my have been sold at auction already.
 
2014-02-25 10:41:33 PM

Warlordtrooper: Some people deserve the death penalty.   Rich people who avoid taxes are some of them.


No no no no no.

Sentence them to  poverty.

Seize or freeze every penny of every asset they have, lock them out of their house, and force them to get a shiatty minimum-wage job and live solely on that income.  Don't kill them;  humble them.
 
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