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(South China Morning Post)   Scandinavian research lab creates device to decipher what dogs are saying. Technology for the fox not yet available   (scmp.com) divider line 70
    More: Cool, Scandinavian, talking dogs, No More Woof, Scandinavian research lab, computer interfaces  
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4398 clicks; posted to Geek » on 25 Feb 2014 at 1:06 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



70 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2014-02-25 12:22:22 PM  
i219.photobucket.com
 
2014-02-25 12:24:57 PM  
I thought we already had that.
i.dailymail.co.uk
 
2014-02-25 12:25:05 PM  
It's been done...

www.thepixarpodcast.com
 
2014-02-25 12:41:49 PM  
My dog is usually pretty chill, but I can't imagine him tolerating that. He hates anything on his head and isn't unique in that regard.

Besides, if you're a halfway decent owner you can tell what your dog is up to from nonverbal cues, just like they pick up on our nonverbal cues.  Oh the dog is by the back door and is standing instead of laying? He wants to go out. Front door and whimpering or barking? Excited by a visitor. It's 7:30pm and he's standing by his food dish? Must be dinner time. Looking up at me with wet eyes and ears perked? He is begging for whatever I'm eating.
 
2014-02-25 12:50:57 PM  
Vaporware says what?
 
2014-02-25 12:53:30 PM  
She can say anything she wants and I'll believe her:

www.examiner.com
 
2014-02-25 01:08:33 PM  

dogdaze: [i219.photobucket.com image 374x501]


Done in one.
 
2014-02-25 01:09:09 PM  

dogdaze: [i219.photobucket.com image 374x501]


Done in one.
 
2014-02-25 01:10:31 PM  
STEAK! STEAK! STEAK! STEAK! STEAK!
 
2014-02-25 01:10:58 PM  
 
2014-02-25 01:11:17 PM  
Oh, boy!  Oh, boy!  Oh, boy!
 
2014-02-25 01:12:28 PM  

InterruptingQuirk: Vaporware says what?


Here's a prototype of it's dialogue: " "
If you want the quotes filled in to get the full, awesome, effect, I'm going to need at least $50,000 and another, let's say, 6 months to get it working.
 
2014-02-25 01:12:50 PM  
Wow, great video... shows the product doing NOTHING... Wow, I sure want to invest in that now... *rolls eyes*
 
2014-02-25 01:14:08 PM  
assets.nydailynews.com

I could hump that leg like there's no time constraint that I am knowledgeable about.
or

If I killed the treat giver, than all the treats shall be mine

or

You took my balls, prepare to lose yours.
 
2014-02-25 01:14:26 PM  
"This leash demeans us both".
 
2014-02-25 01:14:43 PM  
I think it would be something like "I love lasagna."

img.fark.net
 
2014-02-25 01:16:53 PM  

Bob Falfa: I thought we already had that.
[i.dailymail.co.uk image 468x383]


It has:

http://www.intersections.com/i4CInnovations.html
 
2014-02-25 01:18:15 PM  
Isn't that one of the pillars of Fark memes?.
 
2014-02-25 01:18:28 PM  

oakleym82: Bob Falfa: I thought we already had that.
[i.dailymail.co.uk image 468x383]

It has:

http://www.intersections.com/i4CInnovations.html


http://www.mydogsvoyce.com/#!/voyce
 
2014-02-25 01:19:26 PM  
I should order one of those so I can ask my dog if he wants to go for a ride in the flying car I invested in and expect to hear back about any day now.
 
2014-02-25 01:20:38 PM  

CygnusDarius: Isn't that one of the pillars of Fark memes?.


It *was* before all these millenials came along.
 
2014-02-25 01:22:51 PM  
Still no solution for communication in the other direction...

i.imgur.com
 
2014-02-25 01:22:58 PM  

Harry Freakstorm: [assets.nydailynews.com image 317x292]

I could hump that leg like there's no time constraint that I am knowledgeable about.
or

If I killed the treat giver, than all the treats shall be mine

or

You took my balls, prepare to lose yours.


You are a freak storm of funny.
 
2014-02-25 01:23:26 PM  
The research lab huh?  Figures.
 
2014-02-25 01:27:43 PM  
According to NSID developers, the most easily detected neural patterns is: "This thing is uncomfortable and makes me look like a dork."
 
2014-02-25 01:29:51 PM  
Fark ain't what it used to be.  A chance for "your dog wants steak" and "here comes the science" in the same headline.  Oh, well.
 
2014-02-25 01:33:03 PM  

CygnusDarius: Isn't that one of the pillars of Fark memes?.


Admins be slippin. A headline without YDWS would never have been greened back in the day.
 
2014-02-25 01:33:37 PM  
cat version:

"Feed me, so I can kill you".
 
2014-02-25 01:36:16 PM  

Any Pie Left: cat version:

"Feed me, so I can kill you".


I think we should translate them to dog barks, just to piss off our feline overlords.
 
2014-02-25 01:36:35 PM  

hobnail: Fark ain't what it used to be.  A chance for "your dog wants steak" and "here comes the science" in the same headline.  Oh, well.


This
 
2014-02-25 01:37:10 PM  
Old nonsense is so exciting!
 
2014-02-25 01:40:20 PM  

Gig103: Besides, if you're a halfway decent owner you can tell what your dog is up to from nonverbal cues, just like they pick up on our nonverbal cues.


media-cache-ec0.pinimg.com
 
2014-02-25 01:40:51 PM  
Not sure that tchoff tchoff tchoff tchoff tchatcha tchatchoff really has a good translation, Subby. :\
 
2014-02-25 01:42:59 PM  
Was kind of hoping for an Eerie Indiana reference.


/not really disappointed
 
2014-02-25 01:44:41 PM  
"Bark, bark, bark!"

Scandinavian dog translation: "Bork, bork, bork!"
 
2014-02-25 01:45:37 PM  

hobnail: Fark ain't what it used to be.  A chance for "your dog wants steak" and "here comes the science" in the same headline.  Oh, well.


Don't tell me you're complaining
 
2014-02-25 01:50:52 PM  
"wow"
"such science"
"good talk"
 
2014-02-25 01:54:23 PM  

HaywoodJablonski: hobnail: Fark ain't what it used to be.  A chance for "your dog wants steak" and "here comes the science" in the same headline.  Oh, well.

Don't tell me you're complaining


He'll get over it.
 
2014-02-25 01:56:10 PM  
img.fark.net
 
2014-02-25 01:59:50 PM  
Screw hearing what dogs think. I want the HaardvarkTM, a device that can turn my lame-speak into pitching woo at college-age women.

www.junkiemonkeys.com

/obscure?
 
2014-02-25 02:02:50 PM  
squirrel.
 
2014-02-25 02:11:55 PM  
"Humans are so stupid, every time I try to explain my theory that explains the masses of particular quarks and leptons in particular generations from first principles, they think I'm begging for a damn cookie."
 
2014-02-25 02:24:52 PM  
"Voof."
 
2014-02-25 02:28:41 PM  
"So long and thanks for all the bones"
 
2014-02-25 02:28:54 PM  

qorkfiend: Still no solution for communication in the other direction...

[i.imgur.com image 500x615]


What a cat hears:

midlifebatmitzvah.files.wordpress.com
 
2014-02-25 02:32:45 PM  
I love this headline SOOOOooo much

(proud father of a son that knows the fox is a silent hunter)
 
2014-02-25 02:40:36 PM  

Some_Local_Deity: [img.fark.net image 600x933]


fuzzy.
 
2014-02-25 02:43:40 PM  

rustypouch: I think it would be something like "I love lasagna."

[img.fark.net image 400x300]


Followed soon after by "Where are my testicles?"  And then, the revolution.
 
2014-02-25 02:45:23 PM  
Sweetheart, I swear that dog is a damn liar!
 
2014-02-25 02:47:16 PM  
Sure, but how would they understand us?  It's like we expect them to understand human languages or something.  Sure they pick up one or two verbal cues, but they aren't exactly travelling bards.  I think this would get more frustrating if a dog was spouting broken English at you, but couldn't understand the reply.

Also, maybe your dog is a dick who mutters smart-assed comments as he does things you ask him to.  You'd grow to hate him.
 
2014-02-25 03:06:21 PM  

SlothB77: squirrel.


Came here for this.
Surprised it took so long.
 
2014-02-25 03:31:04 PM  

rustypouch: I think it would be something like "I love lasagna."


I thought the first couple episodes were decent, but after that the show has catapulted in to full-on twisted awesomeness.
 
2014-02-25 03:35:38 PM  
I'm 99% certain that the YDWS Fark cliche started with a story just like this back in the late 90's/early aughts.
 
2014-02-25 03:44:42 PM  
Why not just use M-o-o-o-orse?
 
2014-02-25 03:47:21 PM  

RalphW: I'm 99% certain that the YDWS Fark cliche started with a story just like this back in the late 90's/early aughts.


From FArQ farkisms...

Your dog wants steak
This was tacked on to the end of an article about a Japanese device that allows you to communicate with your dog. The joke being anyone who has had a dog can tell you that dogs are not incredibly complex creatures. You can tell what they want just by looking at them.
 
2014-02-25 03:47:33 PM  
 
2014-02-25 03:50:20 PM  

SlothB77: squirrel.


Being in a family with a dog, and two kids and one adult (myself) with ADD, since seeing "Up!" that scene cracked us up and we constantly refer to 'Squirrel' moments.
 
msP
2014-02-25 03:59:04 PM  
When this product is available on the market...
img.fark.net
 
2014-02-25 04:10:11 PM  

mike_d85: Sure, but how would they understand us?  It's like we expect them to understand human languages or something.  Sure they pick up one or two verbal cues, but they aren't exactly travelling bards.  I think this would get more frustrating if a dog was spouting broken English at you, but couldn't understand the reply.

Also, maybe your dog is a dick who mutters smart-assed comments as he does things you ask him to.  You'd grow to hate him.


I had a Jack Russell. He was a dick. No question. But I'd love to hear what he had to say, at least for a bit.
 
2014-02-25 04:16:11 PM  

Gaseous Anomaly: Why not just use M-o-o-o-orse?


no, a dog. not a horse. dumbass.
 
2014-02-25 04:21:21 PM  

dogdaze: [i219.photobucket.com image 374x501]


Absolutely, positively done in one.  I came here to post that very pic.  Well done, sir..
 
2014-02-25 04:42:18 PM  
Clifford D. Simak thought this up in 1952, in his sci-fi collection City.

Basically, before leaving Earth for good, humans give dogs speech synthesizers and robot companions.
 
2014-02-25 05:43:25 PM  

DjangoStonereaver: She can say anything she wants and I'll believe her:

[www.examiner.com image 500x673]


Gross.  Feed that biatch a sandwich, stat... or get one of the Flintstones characters to play a tune on her ribs.
 
2014-02-25 07:11:19 PM  
"Bacon" strangely absent.
 
2014-02-25 07:58:45 PM  

Loadmaster: Clifford D. Simak thought this up in 1952, in his sci-fi collection City.

Basically, before leaving Earth for good, humans give dogs speech synthesizers and robot companions.



That book was farking fantastic. I'm always jazzed when I encounter other people who have read it.
 
2014-02-25 08:03:27 PM  

mongbiohazard: rustypouch: I think it would be something like "I love lasagna."

I thought the first couple episodes were decent, but after that the show has catapulted in to full-on twisted awesomeness.



what show is that?
 
2014-02-25 08:49:18 PM  
Ah, understated Nordic satire.
 
2014-02-25 11:07:53 PM  
As reported in the Lifestyle section of the South China Morning Post. You know, where you always go for Scandinavian technology news.
 
2014-02-25 11:31:19 PM  
i.imgur.com
 
2014-02-26 10:53:41 AM  

morg: As reported in the Lifestyle section of the South China Morning Post. You know, where you always go for Scandinavian technology news.


You know, the thing of it is, all I did was my daily Google search for Scandinavian technology news, and this was the first thing that popped up, so I submitted it.
 
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