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(NBC 2 Fort Myers)   Smoking hot 911 caller asks for help with her emergency, which was apparently "I haven't been penetrated in years"   (nbc-2.com) divider line 49
    More: Florida, WBBH News, Charlotte County, woman arrested, emergency, smoking  
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25167 clicks; posted to Main » on 25 Feb 2014 at 12:58 PM (43 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



Voting Results (Funniest)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

2014-02-25 01:24:10 PM  
6 votes:
media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com
2014-02-25 01:22:14 PM  
6 votes:

blatz514: Montenez-Colon allegedly told the officer, "I haven't been penetrated in years," and "I am so horny."


[i607.photobucket.com image 500x288]


I bet that pussy is *tight*.

scrapetv.com
2014-02-25 01:04:36 PM  
6 votes:
img.fark.net
2014-02-25 01:56:01 PM  
5 votes:

img.fark.net

I'm Moist.

2014-02-25 01:43:31 PM  
5 votes:
img.fark.net
2014-02-25 01:03:22 PM  
5 votes:
Someone wanted to enjoy a pig in a blanket.
2014-02-25 01:19:06 PM  
4 votes:
"Neighbors say what Montenez-Colon really needs is treatment for her alcoho."

Nice typo, very appropriate. "Alcoho" will be my new term for drunk slut.
2014-02-25 01:09:13 PM  
4 votes:
Neighbors say what Montenez-Colon really needs is treatment for her alcoho.

She definitely seems to be wants to be an alco-ho.
2014-02-25 01:02:12 PM  
4 votes:
I think I see her problem:

wbbh.images.worldnow.com

=

www.wantchinatimes.com
2014-02-25 01:16:08 PM  
3 votes:

rickythepenguin: Montenez-Colon allegedly told the officer, "I haven't been penetrated in years,"


did the officer enter via the back door?



media.giphy.com
2014-02-25 01:13:58 PM  
3 votes:
Montenez-Colon allegedly told the officer, "I haven't been penetrated in years,"


did the officer enter via the back door?
2014-02-25 01:09:47 PM  
3 votes:

AlwaysRightBoy: Somewhere in this Fark place there's one of you who would.. you know you would.


i.imgur.com
2014-02-25 01:05:26 PM  
3 votes:
pagead2.googlesyndication.com

Maybe she should call the Pump Patrol.
2014-02-25 12:59:31 PM  
3 votes:
Life imitates porn? Did he bring a pizza and fix the cable?
2014-02-25 03:14:02 PM  
2 votes:
Near Ft Myers...*checks link*...no, most definitely not my cousin's smoking hot daughter.

www.daylol.com
2014-02-25 01:46:19 PM  
2 votes:

rickythepenguin: Montenez-Colon allegedly told the officer, "I haven't been penetrated in years,"


did the officer enter via the back door?


Half of her surname is Colon. There's no other way to do it. You can't very well stick it in her Montenez.
2014-02-25 01:23:15 PM  
2 votes:
Since when did "smoking-hot" become shorthand for "kill-it-with-fire"?
2014-02-25 01:14:25 PM  
2 votes:
Montenez-Colon allegedly told the officer, "I haven't been penetrated in years," and "I am so horny."


i607.photobucket.com
2014-02-25 01:03:36 PM  
2 votes:
When asked by the original officer if she remembered the conversation about misuse of 911, Montenez-Colon allegedly said, "I do, but how else am I going to get you to [expletive] me?"

Well, consider yourself [expletived]
2014-02-25 12:59:50 PM  
2 votes:
www.economicnoise.com

/everyone should know better at this point
2014-02-26 12:20:15 PM  
1 votes:
A Punta Gorda woman

Now, that's just unnecessarily mean, article writer...
2014-02-25 06:47:47 PM  
1 votes:
it was the Florida tag that threw them off, "Smoking Hot" and a Daily Mail tag fools no one....

/with a last name of "Colon" and you went with a Smoking Hot Rick Roll subby?
//really?
2014-02-25 05:59:29 PM  
1 votes:
The officer says he told Montenez-Colon there was nothing he could do for you

Me? I coulda told her there was nothing he could do for me.
2014-02-25 05:22:15 PM  
1 votes:
img.fark.net
You say it's urgent, so urgent, so-oh-oh urgent...
Just you wait and see, how urgent, my love can be, it's urgent...

25.media.tumblr.com
2014-02-25 04:45:19 PM  
1 votes:

aintitahoot: Heads-up from the WTFark video team here:

We may do a WTFark video about this submission and may pick one or two comments from this thread to use in the making of the video. If your comment is used, you will be credited (by handle) at the end of the video. If you have a problem with that and want your handle/comment ignored, then please let us know here. Otherwise, we will assume all are fair game. If you are the subby and want credit, please let us know here as well.

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I submitted this train wreck of burning awfulness, and I approve wholeheartedly.

Hey, stop throwing things at me!  Ow, that hurt!
2014-02-25 04:31:51 PM  
1 votes:

aintitahoot: Heads-up from the WTFark video team here:

We may do a WTFark video about this submission and may pick one or two comments from this thread to use in the making of the video. If your comment is used, you will be credited (by handle) at the end of the video. If you have a problem with that and want your handle/comment ignored, then please let us know here. Otherwise, we will assume all are fair game. If you are the subby and want credit, please let us know here as well.

Here's how it works. We will keep track of whose comments we use and when you reach a certain threshold (five times, maybe) we will give you a small gift as a token of gratitude. Say, a Fark bar towel and a free month of TotalFark. If, as time goes on, and we seem to be using more and more of your comments, we will up the ante with some premium liquor for those of you who partake or something else equally appealing for those of you who don't.

The videos will live in the right sidebar here on fark.com and in their natural habitat on ora.tv/wtfark. Click if you like them. Don't if you don't.

We thank you for your support.

/endit


You really want to make a video about a thread that is primarily making fun of a disturbed middle aged woman's looks?
2014-02-25 03:56:54 PM  
1 votes:
Sounds like she needs more Lemon Pledge.


Noooooooooo
2014-02-25 03:53:01 PM  
1 votes:
I'm not gonna click on it, no way, uh uh, I know I will regret it......GGGGGGAAAAAHAHHHHHHH

Click.

I hate you subby.
2014-02-25 03:08:46 PM  
1 votes:

Clemkadidlefark: gack


Unlike her, Gak is fun to play with.
beingalison.com
2014-02-25 03:03:36 PM  
1 votes:

cgraves67: None of the dark, jaded souls that inhabit this backwater of the internet are going to fall for that old trick, subby.


Ahem.
img.fark.net

You stand corrected!
2014-02-25 02:52:01 PM  
1 votes:

AlwaysRightBoy: Somewhere in this Fark place there's one of you who would.. you know you would.

31.media.tumblr.com

2014-02-25 02:37:03 PM  
1 votes:
t3.gstatic.com

You rang?
2014-02-25 02:13:50 PM  
1 votes:
You'd think that by now I'd know better than to click on any link that begins with the words "smoking hot."
2014-02-25 02:09:06 PM  
1 votes:

a_room_with_a_moose: Joelogon: a_room_with_a_moose: "I could bear to hear a little more..."

Close: "stand", not "bear."

/I'll be in my bunk

Argh. That's right. Memory is always the first thing to go... :/


First sign of your tragic space dementia. Breaks the heart...

Also, how has no one else has picked up on the lieutenant's comment "you gotta take a position" in regards to 911 abusers like this woman? That's what she wanted, man! Someone to take a position on her!
2014-02-25 02:02:52 PM  
1 votes:

Joelogon: a_room_with_a_moose: "I could bear to hear a little more..."

Close: "stand", not "bear."

/I'll be in my bunk


Argh. That's right. Memory is always the first thing to go... :/
2014-02-25 02:00:36 PM  
1 votes:
Cool story bro:

I was flying back from Nashville yesterday (to Maine), and I ended up being seated to a very pretty brunette who lived in my home town (as in, when I was a kid) AND was a 911 dispatcher.

End cool story bro.
2014-02-25 01:51:15 PM  
1 votes:
I thought cops were supposed to use protection and serve.
2014-02-25 01:47:49 PM  
1 votes:

Joelogon:


"I could bear to hear a little more..."
2014-02-25 01:45:45 PM  
1 votes:
Your a sick bastard subby.
2014-02-25 01:32:34 PM  
1 votes:
Neighbors say what Montenez-Colon really needs is treatment for her alcoho.

Truer words were never spoken.
2014-02-25 01:24:43 PM  
1 votes:

Billy Bathsalt: When the truly smoking hot call 911 to get laid, it doesn't make it to the papers.


Nope. That makes it to Dear Penthouse.
2014-02-25 01:22:10 PM  
1 votes:
Can nobody point this woman to Craigslist?
2014-02-25 01:20:43 PM  
1 votes:
Montenez-Colon allegedly told the officer, "I haven't been penetrated in years," and "I am so horny."

Pretty sure this kind of language would never fly over on CBS. Dunno about ABC. Fox would be sure to work the word "boink" in there somewhere.
2014-02-25 01:19:50 PM  
1 votes:
Maybe she thought they said he was a piece officer.
2014-02-25 01:06:14 PM  
1 votes:

Harry Freakstorm: When asked by the original officer if she remembered the conversation about misuse of 911, Montenez-Colon allegedly said, "I do, but how else am I going to get you to [expletive] me?"

Well, consider yourself [expletived]


Reminds me of a joke which ends with a quadriplegic getting thrown off a bridge.
2014-02-25 01:03:39 PM  
1 votes:
The sad thing is that she could have easily gotten what she was after in any seedy bar or truck stop. There's a good chance she could have been paid for it.
2014-02-25 01:02:47 PM  
1 votes:
Not even with the cops nightstick.
2014-02-25 01:01:55 PM  
1 votes:
Consuela, No!
2014-02-25 01:01:29 PM  
1 votes:

generallyso: Subby, we're years past the point people still believed a headline containing the words "smoking hot."


I don't believe it but I still click, hoping. I think I need help.
 
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