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(NBC 2 Fort Myers)   Smoking hot 911 caller asks for help with her emergency, which was apparently "I haven't been penetrated in years"   (nbc-2.com) divider line 108
    More: Florida, WBBH News, Charlotte County, woman arrested, emergency, smoking  
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25166 clicks; posted to Main » on 25 Feb 2014 at 12:58 PM (42 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



108 Comments   (+0 »)
   
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2014-02-25 12:59:31 PM  
Life imitates porn? Did he bring a pizza and fix the cable?
 
2014-02-25 12:59:50 PM  
www.economicnoise.com

/everyone should know better at this point
 
2014-02-25 01:00:17 PM  
Subby, we're years past the point people still believed a headline containing the words "smoking hot."
 
2014-02-25 01:01:25 PM  
I would have arrested her for ass-ault.
 
2014-02-25 01:01:29 PM  

generallyso: Subby, we're years past the point people still believed a headline containing the words "smoking hot."


I don't believe it but I still click, hoping. I think I need help.
 
2014-02-25 01:01:46 PM  
O.o

/it's a trap!
 
2014-02-25 01:01:55 PM  
Consuela, No!
 
2014-02-25 01:02:12 PM  
I think I see her problem:

wbbh.images.worldnow.com

=

www.wantchinatimes.com
 
2014-02-25 01:02:47 PM  
Not even with the cops nightstick.
 
2014-02-25 01:03:22 PM  
Someone wanted to enjoy a pig in a blanket.
 
2014-02-25 01:03:36 PM  
When asked by the original officer if she remembered the conversation about misuse of 911, Montenez-Colon allegedly said, "I do, but how else am I going to get you to [expletive] me?"

Well, consider yourself [expletived]
 
2014-02-25 01:03:39 PM  
The sad thing is that she could have easily gotten what she was after in any seedy bar or truck stop. There's a good chance she could have been paid for it.
 
2014-02-25 01:03:55 PM  
Not even with your dick subby.
 
2014-02-25 01:04:00 PM  
To be fair, his car did say that his number was 911.
 
2014-02-25 01:04:36 PM  
img.fark.net
 
2014-02-25 01:05:26 PM  
pagead2.googlesyndication.com

Maybe she should call the Pump Patrol.
 
2014-02-25 01:06:14 PM  

Harry Freakstorm: When asked by the original officer if she remembered the conversation about misuse of 911, Montenez-Colon allegedly said, "I do, but how else am I going to get you to [expletive] me?"

Well, consider yourself [expletived]


Reminds me of a joke which ends with a quadriplegic getting thrown off a bridge.
 
2014-02-25 01:06:14 PM  
Somewhere in this Fark place there's one of you who would.. you know you would.
 
2014-02-25 01:07:49 PM  
None of the dark, jaded souls that inhabit this backwater of the internet are going to fall for that old trick, subby.
 
2014-02-25 01:08:20 PM  
Dang it!  I always fall for that Subby!  Why can't I ever remember?!?  Maybe I need some kind of moronic/mnemonic device.
 
2014-02-25 01:09:13 PM  
Neighbors say what Montenez-Colon really needs is treatment for her alcoho.

She definitely seems to be wants to be an alco-ho.
 
2014-02-25 01:09:47 PM  
"She doesn't need jail time, this is not a person that's dangerous to anybody. She needs help," said Richard Landowski, neighbor who is tired of [expletive]ing her.
 
2014-02-25 01:09:47 PM  

AlwaysRightBoy: Somewhere in this Fark place there's one of you who would.. you know you would.


i.imgur.com
 
2014-02-25 01:11:05 PM  
When the truly smoking hot call 911 to get laid, it doesn't make it to the papers.
 
2014-02-25 01:13:58 PM  
Montenez-Colon allegedly told the officer, "I haven't been penetrated in years,"


did the officer enter via the back door?
 
2014-02-25 01:14:25 PM  
Montenez-Colon allegedly told the officer, "I haven't been penetrated in years," and "I am so horny."


i607.photobucket.com
 
2014-02-25 01:16:08 PM  

rickythepenguin: Montenez-Colon allegedly told the officer, "I haven't been penetrated in years,"


did the officer enter via the back door?



media.giphy.com
 
2014-02-25 01:19:06 PM  
"Neighbors say what Montenez-Colon really needs is treatment for her alcoho."

Nice typo, very appropriate. "Alcoho" will be my new term for drunk slut.
 
2014-02-25 01:19:06 PM  
gack
 
2014-02-25 01:19:34 PM  
What a shock the neighbors think she needs treatment for her "alcoho"
 
2014-02-25 01:19:50 PM  
Maybe she thought they said he was a piece officer.
 
2014-02-25 01:20:43 PM  
Montenez-Colon allegedly told the officer, "I haven't been penetrated in years," and "I am so horny."

Pretty sure this kind of language would never fly over on CBS. Dunno about ABC. Fox would be sure to work the word "boink" in there somewhere.
 
2014-02-25 01:20:51 PM  
Somebody call 9-1-1
Subby's lie is trolling
in the headline. Woah-o!
 
2014-02-25 01:22:03 PM  
Came for Consuela leaving satisfied... "No. no we need more lemon pledge"
 
2014-02-25 01:22:10 PM  
Can nobody point this woman to Craigslist?
 
2014-02-25 01:22:14 PM  

blatz514: Montenez-Colon allegedly told the officer, "I haven't been penetrated in years," and "I am so horny."


[i607.photobucket.com image 500x288]


I bet that pussy is *tight*.

scrapetv.com
 
2014-02-25 01:23:15 PM  
Since when did "smoking-hot" become shorthand for "kill-it-with-fire"?
 
2014-02-25 01:23:25 PM  

tetsoushima: Harry Freakstorm: When asked by the original officer if she remembered the conversation about misuse of 911, Montenez-Colon allegedly said, "I do, but how else am I going to get you to [expletive] me?"

Well, consider yourself [expletived]

Reminds me of a joke which ends with a quadriplegic getting thrown off a bridge.


I assumed that's where Harry was headed too.
 
2014-02-25 01:24:10 PM  
media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com
 
2014-02-25 01:24:43 PM  

Billy Bathsalt: When the truly smoking hot call 911 to get laid, it doesn't make it to the papers.


Nope. That makes it to Dear Penthouse.
 
2014-02-25 01:25:22 PM  

Fano: Life imitates porn? Did he bring a pizza and fix the cable?


No, it's always the plumber.

/Jeebus woman, get yourself a vibrator.
 
2014-02-25 01:27:40 PM  
Once in a blue moon smoking hot means smoking hot. Hence we keep on clicking.

/not been penetrated in years and calling 911 good clue this wasn't going to be a hottie.
 
2014-02-25 01:30:36 PM  
"She doesn't need jail time, this is not a person that's dangerous to anybody. She needs help," 

Paging Private Garp, paging Private Garp...

Sorry mam, under the circumstances, that's the only humane way we can help you.  What's worse, in 9 months, Robin Williams may well pop out of your vagina.
 
2014-02-25 01:31:12 PM  

tuvaorbust: Since when did "smoking-hot" become shorthand for "kill-it-with-fire"?


1)  a longtime farkism

2) arcata, huh?  miss that crazy town.  lived in ferndale for a year or two 20 years ago.
 
2014-02-25 01:32:34 PM  
Neighbors say what Montenez-Colon really needs is treatment for her alcoho.

Truer words were never spoken.
 
2014-02-25 01:38:31 PM  
Not dangerous to anybody? Oh yeah, then explain this: "Montenez-Colon has been booked into the Charlotte County jail four times before, all in 2013-- on battery charges and violation of probation."
 
2014-02-25 01:42:40 PM  

Stoj: Can nobody point this woman to Craigslist?


Seriously, she should just start charging guys and the penetration will just roll in.  Everytime they have a Florida prostitution bust lineup there is always at least one "escort" who is equal or more gross than Jenny from the block here.
 
2014-02-25 01:43:31 PM  
img.fark.net
 
2014-02-25 01:45:22 PM  

rickythepenguin: tuvaorbust: Since when did "smoking-hot" become shorthand for "kill-it-with-fire"?

1)  a longtime farkism

2) arcata, huh?  miss that crazy town.  lived in ferndale for a year or two 20 years ago.


Former McKinleyville denizen, checking in..... course that was in the late '70s.
 
2014-02-25 01:45:45 PM  
Your a sick bastard subby.
 
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